“But they do.” Anger flared in his gut. “There was no way the murder of my family was for the good. My son was just learning to walk. Lilly had just told me she was expecting our third child.” He stood. This was why he never talked about it. It was easier to remain numb. “They’re dead. It was my fault, and I should have been buried with them. I’ll never marry again.” She needed to know that in case she was getting any ideas. Or maybe it was to remind himself.
She gasped. He hated the pity he knew he would see in her eyes if he looked down. Without thought he walked until a large tree stood in his path. At least she didn’t know how they died. The blame and horror reflecting his own guilt would be too much.
Drained of energy, he leaned his forehead against the rough bark of the trunk. Yeah, it cut into his skin, but he didn’t care.
Chapter Twelve
Sofia put her hand on his shoulder. The muscles tightened, but he didn’t pull away. What words could comfort him?
His breaths came in long hard pulls from his lungs. Her father had changed drastically when he lost his wife and son. A new shell had formed around him, hard and distant. In a way, she had lost her father also.
Biting the corner of her mouth, she tried to stop the tears. “I’m so, so sorry. I can’t even imagine. There are people who carry something really bad inside them. All I know is God is always here.” She pressed her hand to her heart. “I know without a doubt He is with me and they are with Him. He promises to restore us no matter what this world does to destroy us.”
He did nothing to acknowledge her words. Not knowing what else to do, she leaned against his back and wrapped her arms around him. She knew words had no meaning when pain gripped your core. With her cheek pressed between his shoulder blades, she could feel his heartbeat. The soft sounds of the night clashed with his breathing.
He moved his hand on her forearm and held her in place. Time slipped by, she closed her eyes and prayed for God’s love to be stronger than his pain.
“Tiago!” Rory’s harsh voice sliced through the silence, scattering pieces through the air. Sofia jumped back and Jackson turned, slowly. The cowboy had his rifle resting in his hands.
With her hand on her chest, Sofia focused on calming her rapid heart. “Rory, you frightened me.”
“Good.” He shifted the rifle. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be out in the dark, alone with our boss here.”
Behind her Jackson growled. A few steps and he was squaring off with Rory. “Are you threatening me?”
“Boss, I’m just saying it’s time for our little wrangler here to go to bed. It’s late, and you never know the dangers that might be lurking in the dark.” He cut his glare around Jackson’s shoulder. When he made eye contact with her, his expression softened. “Go on with ya. Cook will need you early in the morning. You need to get some sleep.”
Sofia tilted her head back and groaned. Why did men keep telling her to rest? “Thank you, Rory, but there’s no problem here.”
“Easy to say when there isn’t anyone making sure your boss is not taking advantage of a girl alone in the world.” His glare went back to Jackson.
Jackson didn’t seem to take that well. Shoulders back, his chest became wider as he closed the distance between him and Rory.
Not knowing what else to do, she stepped between the men. Men who were acting like children. She turned to Rory first. “What are you doing wandering around in the dark? With your wound, you should be resting, too.” Oh, great. Now she sounded like them.
“I can only lie down for so long until it starts throbbing.” He nudged his rifle in Jackson’s direction. “I noticed boss man here was missing, and I knew he’d come in late from the herd, so I thought I’d check on you. Why don’t you go on now and get to bed?”
“I’m not going to do anything to harm Tiago. She doesn’t need protection from me. Go back to the campsite Rory.”
The Irish cowboy stood his ground. “With all due respect, boss, I’m not leaving without you.”
Sofia threw up her hands. “You can both stand here and see who can spit the farthest. I’m going to bed.” With one last glare she stomped to the wagon. Men were so...ugh...just so childish.
Throwing her blanket around and adjusting her saddle, she burned off her anger. She sat with a hard thud. Leaning forward, she narrowed her gaze and tried to see what the men were doing.
Had they come to blows? After a few minutes they started walking back to camp. Wanting to hear what they talked about, she crawled to the far end of the wagon.
“No one. Sir, what are your intentions toward her?”
“What about you?” Rough and raw, Jackson’s voice caused her skin to tingle.
Rory made a clicking noise. “I think she might be more than I could handle in a wife.”
“Marriage is not in my future. Especially to a female who rushes headlong into danger without a thought in her head. My only goal is to get her home safe and in one piece.”
“Then we’re of the same accord.”
Well, she wouldn’t marry them either, even if they asked pretty please. Their voices faded as they started walking again. Flopping on the thick blanket Jackson had given her, she wrapped her other one over her shoulders and pulled it up to her chin, burying herself in the cocoon she created.
Her mother said there had been many men who had asked her father for her hand in marriage, of course they were in Mexico, but that didn’t matter. Just because these two cowboys didn’t see her as wife material didn’t mean she’d make a bad wife.
She pushed her hair back and paused to look at her hand. The skin was red and rough. Her nails, once neat and clean, were now torn and dirty. Bruises ran along her arm.
Why was she even upset? Just wounded pride. Being a wife was not her dream. She wanted to be a cowboy. So why did their words hurt so much?
She should be hollering with glee. A life of a safe and cautious wife, sitting at home, planning meals and watching babies was not what she wanted.
If her dreams made her less of a woman so much so that no one, not even a cowboy, would want her as a wife, then so be it. Being alone was not the worst thing that could happen to her.
They’d all probably hate her anyway when they found out she was the rancher’s daughter.
* * *
Jackson watched as Rory settled into sleep. Shifting his legs didn’t help bring any comfort. Sleep would not be visiting him this night.
Was Tiago still upset? He hated that Rory was right. Being alone with her was dangerous. He had no intention of marrying ever again.
He glanced over the burning embers to the Irishman. What was the kid’s story? Was he interested in their little wrangler as a woman? Rory was a hard worker and smart. He seemed to be a man of honor. She could do worse.
The fire in his gut at the thought of her married to the charming cowboy didn’t mean a thing. He just worried about her. He knew how vulnerable a woman alone in the world was, how easily she could be hurt.
Tiago didn’t have anyone.
He pulled on a blade of grass and chewed on it. Well, she had him and Rory now. She and the Irishman would make a good couple. If everything went as expected the next few days, and they made it across the river with a good majority of the steers, he’d be set. With a place of his own and the horses he wanted, he’d need a couple of trusted ranch hands.
To his left Rory rolled over and pulled the blanket over his head. Yeah, they’d work well together.
He couldn’t take sitting here, mucking through his own thoughts.
Hopping to his feet, he shook off dirt and grass, grabbing his saddle he headed to the horses. Might as well get some work done if he couldn’t sleep.
“Boss?” Rory was pulling himself up. “Where ya going?”
He kept walking, pretending
not to hear the cowboy. Unfortunately, Rory wasn’t deterred. He caught up with him, a worn saddle in his good hand.
“You heading to the cattle? I can’t sleep, so I’ll join ya.”
Apparently he took Jackson’s silence as encouragement.
“I can’t believe we are so close to delivering the cattle. There were days I didn’t think we’d ever make it.”
With his gaze focused on the horse, Jackson tried to ignore the Irish cowboy. The kid was getting under his skin. He knew he hadn’t done anything wrong other than protect Tiago.
“You should be resting. Go back to bed.” Maybe he’d get the hint.
“Jefe? What are you doing with the horses this time of night?” Estevan approached, rubbing his eyes. “Rory?”
Jackson groaned. Leather creaked as the horse shifted his weight. Had the wrangler heard what they were talking about? It was getting harder to keep Tiago’s identity a secret. “We’re just going to check the cattle and relieve Clint from night duty. Go back to sleep. Thanks for checking on the horses.”
Jackson mounted his gelding and pulled him around to face the cowboy.
“Sure. See y’all in the morning.” He yawned and headed back to his sleeping area.
Jackson realized how close Estevan was to the wagon. “Do you think he knows about her?”
“No. I think he might think something is off, but no he doesn’t know we have a woman with us.” Throwing his saddle on a sorrel and started looping the cinch, Rory shook his head.
“How did you know?” Jackson asked.
Swinging up into his saddle, he pulled the horse up as he started prancing. “I had a sister that preferred breeches to dresses, so seeing a woman dressed as a boy wasn’t anything new.”
“You got a problem with the way she dresses?”
“Nope. Just because she wears pants don’t mean she can be disrespected.”
“I agree.” With a flick of the reins, he moved his horse to the area where the cattle bedded down. He needed to get past this anger over Rory’s interest in Tiago. For his own sanity, he needed to encourage them to come together. He wouldn’t have to worry about her. “Are you sure you’re not interested in marrying Tiago?” It sounded ridiculous to use a boy’s name.
Only the sounds of the horses, leather and soft bawling of the cattle filled the night. After a bit, he thought he’d not get an answer.
“Nope. I got problems chasing me, and the only thing to my name is this saddle. I ain’t got no business taking a wife. Even one as tough as our Tiago.”
Jackson narrowed his gaze. “You got the kind of trouble that will cause a problem for us?”
“Just the kind that keeps me from going home.”
With a nod to acknowledge his trust in the man’s word, Jackson kicked his horse into a trot. His attention heightened as Clint came into view. Something was wrong.
“Someone’s with Clint?” Rory pulled up next to him.
“Yeah, I see that.” Sitting back in his saddle, he slowed his horse. “Can you tell if it’s a friend or trouble?
“All our boys are back at camp.” Rory’s horse went in a circle when he pulled him up.
Muscles strained under his shirt as he forced the horse to stand. He couldn’t believe what he saw. “What is she doing out here?”
“Well, I’ll be. It’s Tiago. I thought we left her back under the wagon safe and sound.”
Jackson grunted. “She apparently doesn’t like safe.” Pressing his heels in the side of his horse, they lunged forward.
“Boss, remember Clint doesn’t know.”
Burying the urge to grab the reins of her mount and taking her back to camp, he growled.
“Howdy, boss. Rory. Man, this is a busy night. I’ve never had so much company. Everything all right?”
Jackson took his horse right to Tiago’s Appaloosa. The white of her eyes grew bigger. Good, she knew she was in trouble. “Does Cook know you’re running around in the dark by yourself?” Leaning as close as he could, he looked her right in those big beautiful brown eyes. “I told you to sleep.”
“I couldn’t. I thought you were going to bed.” She glanced at Rory. “It appears none of us could sleep.” Her gaze came back to him. “I’m not alone. I’m with Clint. I was lonely and thought he might be, too. We were talking about the stars.”
“Boss, this kid knows the craziest stories about the stars.”
He wanted to yell at her that those were his stories, not Clint’s or even Rory’s, but they weren’t his. She wasn’t his.
“It’s dangerous riding around in the dark.”
She crossed her arms with an unlady-like humph sound. Clint laughed. “Then we’d all be in trouble, boss.”
Rory sighed. “How’s it going out here, Clint? We thought we’d relieve you so you can get some sleep.”
Clint nodded and looked as if everyone had gone a bit crazy. He might be right.
“Go on Clint. We’ll keep watch.”
“Don’t have to ask me twice. There’s some activity over to the left of the hill. I’ve been keeping an eye on it. I think a momma wolf has her pups out. As long as I touch base with the steers, they seem fine.”
Rory turned his restless horse in the direction Clint had pointed to. “Want to go with me, Tiago?”
“He doesn’t need to go off with you.” Jackson wished he could pull the words back as soon as Clint laughed.
“With three of you here, I’m leaving and letting you figure it out.” With a tip of his hat he left.
Tiago threw her head back. “You two are going to drive me crazy. Are you really riding out together to check on me? What do you think I’m going to do?”
“We didn’t know you were out here. We just couldn’t sleep.” Rory talked too much.
“If I’m not going to be able to make a step without both of you next to me, we will never get anything done.”
They all turned to the area Clint pointed out.
“I want you on the wagon with Cook when we roll into the cattle station tomorrow.”
“Grrrrrr.” Did she just growl at him?
He narrowed his eyes and stared at her. She stared right back. Her top lip pulled up in a sneer. He glanced over to Rory. “Did she just growl at me?”
The only reply he got was a snort. He turned back to her. “Why are you growling at me?”
She sat and straightened her spine. “It seems to be the language you understand best, jefe.”
Yeah, he chose to ignore the sarcasm dripping from the word boss. He shook his head. “You will not be riding into the cattle station on the back of a horse. I want you to stay out of sight and in the wagon. The plan is to get us across the river without incident.”
“You’re going to need me to get the cattle across.”
“No. I’ll be able to hire a couple of cowboys for the day. With the rains, the river is going to be up and moving fast. You’ll stay with Cook.”
Her graceful neck worked as she swallowed hard. “I can handle the river.”
“I know you can, but you don’t have to. Stay with Cook. He’ll need help getting the wagon ready for the trip back.” He hoped giving her a reason to stay away from a rushing river would make it easier for her.
She nodded. He relaxed. She wasn’t going to fight him.
“I’ll help Cook while you take the cattle across, but I’m going to help drive the cattle into the station. You can’t afford to be down a man.”
He opened his mouth, but Rory held his hand up. He pointed with his chin. Jackson followed.
Tiago gasped. Her hand went to her mouth.
On the edge of the trees a pair of newborn twin fawns with long wobbly legs were learning to stand. One leap from beside them, and the doe stood between them and her new babies. She stomped
her front leg.
“We’re upsetting her.” Rory pulled on the reins and started backing his horse away from the mother and her offspring.
“They’re precious. Hey, Momma, we aren’t going to hurt your babies.” She turned in the saddle and looked at him. “Jackson, do you think I could touch them?”
“No, we need to leave her alone. We’re stressing her out. They can’t run yet.”
The doe snorted and stomped her delicate leg. “She doesn’t have a chance against us, but she’s willing to fight, isn’t she?” A clicking sound to her mount and she had him moving backward.
His wife had fought, but it hadn’t done any good. “Most mothers will give their lives and fight impossible foes to protect their little ones.”
She nodded, she watching the mother. The doe took a couple steps forward she stomped again, head held high.
“My mother was like that. She was very proper and a true lady, but she would have fought a bear to protect me and my brother.” With her sleeve, she wiped at her face.
He suspected she had shed tears. “You know she’d be happy you weren’t with her the day you lost them.”
Turning away from the momma and babies, she looked at him. “You’re right. I never thought about that. She would have been happy I wasn’t with them.”
Their eyes locked as he leaned forward. Closer to her. Keeping thoughts of touching her lips out of his mind was a constant battle.
Rory walked his horse between them. Forcing them apart. “Hey, kids, why don’t we circle the cattle? I heard some coyotes over yonder.” He kept moving. Obviously expecting them to follow.
Jackson nodded and kept his focus on Rory’s back. He didn’t even want to think about how close he had come to kissing her. “You will be in the wagon tomorrow.”
“We have over a thousand steers to move into the pens. You need me.”
“I’m not arguing with you about this. In the morning you will be in the wagon.”
Rory laughed.
“What are you laughing at?”
“Your expression in the morning when you have to admit she’s right.” He clicked to his horse. “Come on, Tiago. Let’s go to the far tree line and make sure none of our cattle have wondered off.” Rory said something else Jackson couldn’t hear.
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