Driving here, his stomach had been in knots, his heart pounding in his chest. He was excited, nervous, and horny all at once and all those emotions were rolled up into one big ball that sat heavy in his guts.
He wanted to make a good impression and be the kind of mate Jacques deserved. He deserved all the good things in life and Miguel wanted to show him the world. He wanted to be the one to make him smile, make him laugh, but also make him cry out in pleasure, make him fly.
He heard movement behind him and turned to see Jared entering the room. “Miguel,” he greeted him as he walked over to stand next to him.
“How is he?”
Jared gave him a grim smile. “He has good days and bad days. Just as we expected given everything he’s been through. I’ll tell you this, Miguel, your mate is strong no matter what he thinks.”
Miguel furrowed his brow. “He thinks he’s weak? Why would he think that? He survived.”
Shrugging, Jared sat on the sofa and stretched his legs out in front of him. “I think he thinks he’s weak. He hasn’t said anything. I told you about his walk outside, didn’t I?”
Miguel nodded. “A panic attack? I’m not surprised, considering. You said he hasn’t been out since.”
“No, not really. We’re doing it slowly. He’s able to stand on the porch for around ten minutes now before he needs to go back inside. He is making progress, no matter how slow.”
“He shouldn’t rush. He needs to take his time and be comfortable before moving on. My sister suffered from panic attacks for years until she did therapy. It really helped her develop coping strategies to use when she felt one building.”
“Good, you understand what he’s going through then.”
“That side of it, yes, but the other, no. I saw his hospital report. I know what they did to him, how they used him.” Miguel sat next to Jared. “How does he move past that? How can I help him, because I have no fucking idea, Jared? I feel so fucking useless.”
“I don’t know. He’s seeing a therapist, the same one Troy sees, so maybe speak to her. I think she can help you better than any of us.”
Miguel nodded, rubbing his hands on his jeans again. “I’ll get her number before I leave. I know she’s helped Troy.”
“Nervous?” Jared nodded at Miguel’s hands.
“Yeah. It’s not like a date, is it? This is life changing for both of us and he’s suffered so much recently. I feel it, Jared. I feel something of what he’s going through.” Miguel pointed to his head, then his chest. “It’s muted, but it’s there.”
Jared grimaced and sighed, nodding in agreement. “I never knew what it was. What I was feeling. The feelings were there for so long that I couldn’t remember a time that I didn’t have them. You know Sacha hid the fact we were mates for years? It was always there, in the background, the connection that I just ignored. Maybe I knew but didn’t want to face reality. After we mated, I understood the pull, the connection. It took time, but we’re better for it and now I’m never alone.”
“What’s it like? Being mated? I keep wondering how different it will be to what I’m feeling now.”
Jared smiled, leaning back on the sofa and crossing his ankles. “The only word I can think of is amazing. Whenever I need to hear him, all I have to do is reach out for him and he’s there. I’m never truly alone and neither is he. The work we do pulls us from our families, but this way I can stay in constant touch with him.” Jared grinned at Miguel. “D and Jeremy send images to each other now.”
Miguel’s eyebrows shot up. “Really? I knew you could talk, but actual images? That’s... wow.”
“Yeah. It’s funny because I know when D gets a certain type of image, if you know what I mean. He disappears very fast.”
Jared laughed, and Miguel smiled. He wanted it, all of it. “Sounds like fun.”
“It is. Sacha knows how to make me laugh or how to be there when shit happens. Like that last search and rescue we had…. where we were too late to save them, but having Sacha there helped. Knowing I could reach out to him any time I needed him, his strength... it helped. As soon as he picked up on how I was feeling he… I can’t think of anything other than to say he surrounded me with warmth and love.” Jared looked sheepish, a blush on his skin.
Miguel nodded, the mood changing as each thought back to the last mission. “If only they’d brought us in earlier. Maybe we could have prevented their deaths.” Miguel shook his head sadly. “Such a waste of life.”
“Yeah, but they didn’t.” Jared sighed. “Sacha’s gone to get Jacques. They’re probably talking now. Give him a few minutes to get ready. This is a huge step for him considering what he’s been through. It isn’t going to be easy for either of you, but he’s a nice guy, Miguel. I think you’ll be good together. I think you’re exactly what he needs.”
“Thanks. I’ll give him whatever he needs. Space and time, anything. I just don’t want him to cut me out completely. I want to show him how good we can be together.”
“He won’t cut you out. I don’t think he can. The pull is so strong. I think that’s why Sacha stayed with me. He wanted to be with me in whatever way I wanted. All those years as friends.” Jared shook his head and sighed. “It’s over now,” he muttered quietly. “I have him in the way we always wanted.”
Miguel coughed and pursed his lips. “So, any more news on the blood slaves?”
“Those fuckers, using humans like blood bags, and Jacques too. Alessio, Sacha’s father, has been talking with the vampire council to try to find out who might be involved. The information we gathered from Graham shows this is a huge operation. Here and in Europe. We think multiple families are involved but we just don’t know who. We have the scar on Jacques as a key to how large this could potentially be.”
Miguel grunted. “Three, one, two. Fucker scarred him with it. We need more intel.”
“Yeah, the upcoming raids should help. I’m hoping we gather more information from them.”
“When are they? I’ve not heard anything, and believe me, I want to know.”
Jared shook his head. “No idea. The vamps are keeping this one close to their chests. Even Chester can’t get any info. I know it’s pissing Alessio off. He was the one who forced the council to get involved and now they’ve closed ranks on him and won’t tell him anything.”
“Yeah, all that information we passed to them, all those numbers and names and we get nothing in return. How many others are still slaves, but the council won’t let us free them? I heard Sacha and Alessio think there’s more going on than we know about.”
“I think they’re right. There are no human authorities involved either. It’s like they’ve closed up tight and no one is getting any information, except for what they allow.”
“Maybe it’s damage control. The last things the vamps need is for humans to find out what they’ve been doing.” Miguel suggested.
Jared shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe, maybe not.”
Neither said anything else. Miguel couldn’t get his head around the vampire council not wanting help from people who knew what to do and had experience to provide them with the information they needed. Why would they turn down professional help? Why would they let their own people suffer for far longer than was necessary?
Miguel shook his head in confusion, a frown covering his face. For now though, someone else was more important to him. Someone else who needed him.
“So, Jacques is getting better, yeah.”
“Slowly. Small steps, but yeah, he is. You can’t rush him, Miguel. You’ll have to be patient and wait for him. When he’s ready, he’ll let you know.”
“I’ll wait for him, no matter how long it takes. He’s my mate and I’m not going to turn my back on him when he needs me the most.”
“That’s good to hear.” Standing, Jared said, “I’ll go up and see what I can do to get him to come down.”
“Thanks, man.”
Jared nodded, and Miguel watched him leave the room. He stood and walked ove
r to the window, shoving his hands in his pockets. Staring out of the window, he watched the trees sway in a gentle breeze. This place was good for Jacques. A place for him to heal away from the hell he’d been in.
He could hear the floorboards creak above him, and he stood, waiting, because that was all he could do. Wait.
Chapter Three
Jacques sat on the chair opposite Miguel and rubbed his hands together. Now he was here, he was lost for words.
The silence in the room seemed heavy with tension and it felt like it was a heavy weight on Jacques’ chest. He wet his lips, glancing around, his eyes darting everywhere and anywhere except the one person he really wanted to look at.
Closing them briefly, he opened them to find Miguel watching him, a small smile on his face. Jacques quickly looked away, his head bowing and his hair falling to cover his face. A shield of sorts.
He heard movement and his head shot up, his eyes going wide, but all Miguel had done was cross one leg over the other and rest his ankle on his knee. He looked relaxed, but Jacques could hear his heart beating.
His mouth watered at the sound and the thought of his mate’s blood pumping through his veins. He was overcome with the thirst to taste his blood, to feel his skin under his fangs. To hear the sounds he’d make.
“Are you okay?”
Jacques looked at Miguel and saw him point to his eyes. Shit, no doubt they were glowing with his need to feed from his mate.
“I’m fine, thank you,” he muttered in response, trying to control his growing hunger around him.
“Do you need to feed?”
“I’m fine.”
“Okay,” Miguel said, drawing out the word.
Jacques closed his eyes again, his head dropping forward. Why did his mate have to be so attractive? Was it wrong for him to find him this attractive after everything he’d suffered? He wanted to jump all over him, make him submit to his demands. Next time round, he would be in charge. He was never being used again.
He shot up and paced the room, breathing heavily. Needing to distract himself, he asked, “So, you’ve just come back, right?”
“Yeah. Bad weather and heavy rainfall caused a river to burst its banks.”
“Tell me about it, please, it will help to distract me.”
Nodding, Miguel uncrossed his legs and leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. Jacques sat on the chair and watched Miguel as he talked.
“The weather was horrendous. Far more rainfall than they had predicted. It caught them by surprise. We were in the area after that search that didn’t end well.” Jacques nodded. He knew they hadn’t found the family in time. “We flew over and immediately got to work, helping to move people to safer locations. It was touch and go, the weather not helping, but we were able to get everyone out in time.”
“You like it, your job?”
Miguel nodded. “Yeah, I do. I didn’t know what I wanted to do when my time was up in the service and I needed to do something, desperately actually, and this job came up with Rescue Inc, and well, here I am.”
“You do an amazing job.”
“Thank you for saying that. It means a lot to me that you would say that.”
Jacques smiled a little and looked away. He never had a problem holding a conversation before his time as a blood slave, but now he struggled to hold the simplest of ones. Sacha and Jared were wonderful with him, giving him the time he needed, but what about his mate?
He glanced up when Sacha walked in with drinks for them and he gratefully took it, smiling at him. Miguel also thanked Sacha, and he watched him leave the room, wishing that he was staying instead. He needed a buffer, someone who could help him out, to give him time to think of something to say.
“Would you like to go for a walk?”
Jacques froze at the mention of going outside. He wasn’t ready. He could barely make it past the porch before he became a quivering mess.
“Shit, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. I forgot.”
Jacques stared in disbelief at Miguel. He knew? “How do you know?”
“I ask about you, Jacques. You’re my mate. I want to make sure you’re okay or if you need anything I can provide.”
“And they tell you? Sacha and Jared.”
“Not as much as I want to know. They respect your privacy, but I am your mate. I need to make sure you’re alright. I care about you. You’re mine.”
“You barely know me.”
“And I want to change that, but we go at your pace. When you’re ready.”
“What if that’s never? What will you do?” How long would Miguel wait for? He didn’t know him yet.
“Wait. That’s all I’ll do. I’ll wait forever if I have to.”
“Miguel, I can’t...”
“Can’t what, Jacques. Guarantee me the outcome I want? Nothing is set in stone. I’ve said we’ll go at your pace and I meant that. You can trust me.”
“But what about you? What will you do while waiting for me?”
“I don’t understand. I’ll be waiting for you. My sister would laugh her ass off. Me waiting. I’m not known for my patience in my family.”
“You have lots of siblings?” Jacques needed to change the subject and was grateful when Miguel mentioned his sister.
“Yes, a big Latino family. Three older sisters and me the only son.”
“Are you the eldest?”
“Fuck, no. I’m the youngest. No wonder I’m gay. They used to practice their make up on me and I went through a stage of having long hair. Not for long. I got pissed off with them styling my hair.”
Jacques smiled. “I’m the oldest of three. A younger sister and brother. I don’t know what happened to them.”
“I can find out for you. Did they know about you being sold?” Miguel grimaced as soon as the words left his mouth. “Sorry to mention it.”
“I don’t think so. They weren’t there the day it happened, and you have no idea how glad I am that they weren’t.”
“I’ll speak to Sacha. I’m surprised you haven’t.”
Jacques closed his eyes. “I don’t want to know the answer in case they did know and agreed. I’m a shit brother for not asking.”
“That doesn’t make you a shit brother. I think that’s called self-preservation. You been hurt enough, so why add to it?” Miguel glanced down at his clasped hands. “You sure you want me to find out?”
“Just let me know that they are safe.”
“I will.”
“Tell me about them. Your family.”
Miguel grinned. “You’re gonna love them. We have lots of parties for our friends and family. Family is everything to us. When I told them I was gay, my mom was like, ‘of course you are,’ and then asked me what I wanted to eat. My dad grunted and told me to get him a beer.”
“And your sisters?”
“All three of them rolled their eyes and then began asking me sex questions. Not about two men together but how to please a man. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. They wanted all the details and I mean all of them! Like what do you do with your tongue here and things about nuts and cracks and would a straight man be pissed if one of them tried to shove her finger up his ass when giving him a blowjob.”
Jacques laughed outright at the look on Miguel’s face. “No! Really?”
“Oh, yeah. She’s open about sex and has no problems experimenting. She’s bisexual and has had threesomes too. Rather her than me. I’m a one man kinda guy.”
“You are now,” Jacques muttered, the smile falling from his face.
“You have no idea how happy I am about that, Jacques.”
Jacques shivered. He loved the way he said his name. He reached forward to pick up his drink and accidentally knocked it to the floor, spilling the coffee. He bent down to pick it up at the same time as Miguel stood up and reached for it.
All Jacques saw was his hand reaching towards him and he reacted, cowering on the floor, his arm covering his face and head. He heard Migue
l’s indrawn breath and then felt his hand circle his wrist and pull him up. Once he was upright, Miguel stepped away, his hands held in front of him.
“Are you okay, Jacques?”
He jumped back away from him, shaking his head as tears ran down his face. Spinning, he ran from the room, hearing Miguel shout his name from behind.
Slamming his bedroom door shut behind him, Jacques lay on the bed, his face buried in his pillow. He felt the bed move and then Sacha was stroking his hair back from his forehead, making him cry even more.
❊❊❊
“Fuck!”
“What happened?” Jared asked, as soon as he stormed into the room.
Miguel paced the room, running his hands through his hair. “He knocked his drink over and he went to get it at the same time as me and he must have thought I was going to hit him. He fucking cowered at my feet, Jared! He’s the last person I would ever lay a hand on. He’s my mate! I would never lay a hand on him.” As he talked, Miguel continued to pace the room, unable to comprehend why his mate would think he would hurt him. He couldn’t get the look of abject fear on Jacques’ face out of his mind. That look of terror was burned into his memory. A look he would never forget.
Jared stepped in front of him and gripped his shoulders, causing him to stop. “He doesn’t know you, Miguel, not yet. All he knows is what he’s suffered. You know what he went through at Graham’s hands. There was always a chance he would react this way. Give him time.”
Miguel closed his eyes, breathing deeply. Nodding, he opened them, and asked, “Why would he think I would hurt him? He understands about mates, doesn’t he? He should know I wouldn’t hurt him.”
“Of course, he does, but what has his experience been of mates? Other than me and Sacha, the only other couple he knows are his parents. What do we know about their relationship? Maybe it was good, maybe not so good. And you need to remember his father sold him and his mother let him. Give him time, Miguel.”
“I want to, man. I really want to, but I can feel him. I can feel how this has fucked him up. It’s weird, but it’s stronger right now.”
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