If you’re a wiz in the kitchen, share recipes with your team. (And if you want some really good karma, share them with your opponents as well.)
Meet a teammate at the gym or park each day (or even one day a week) for a shared workout. It’s always a great way to keep each other accountable and motivated. Better yet, meet an opponent and race them on the treadmill!
When you are considering losing snacking points—say, you’re overcome with an urge for one of the fresh donuts someone just brought to work—call a teammate! Tell them you’re desperate for a donut! It will do three things. First, it’ll create a pause, which may be enough to give the craving time to subside. Second, it’ll give you an opportunity to talk about whatever it is that’s driving you toward that donut. Sure, it could just be a physical craving, but more often, it’s a mood or a feeling you’re looking to avoid. Talking it out will help. Third, it’ll give your teammate a chance to talk you through all the reasons you don’t need the donut and shouldn’t waste the points (and this may help him or her as much as he or she’s helping you).
Get together with a teammate each Sunday night and do your cooking for the week. It makes the cooking a social event and that way it doesn’t feel like a chore.
Write a motivational e-mail to your whole team once a day.
Write a funny, smack-talking e-mail to your opponents once a day and cc your whole team. There is nothing to keep everyone going like funny, healthy competitive ranting.
Share your successes with your team each day. If you have a perfect or near-perfect day, write or call and brag about it! And even more important, if you have a slip and lose points, write your whole team on the day it happened and explain what happened and why and how. It keeps you accountable and you will be far less likely to do the same thing tomorrow!
* * *
• • • A Tip from Az • • •
Teamwork was the most challenging aspect of this game for me by far. (And yes, contrary to what Krista would have you believe, even I find aspects of this game challenging!) I come from Australia, which means I come from the school that says, “I’ll look after my side of things and you guys look after yours.” But what I’ve learned playing this game is, that attitude doesn’t work. You absolutely must invest in how each member of your team is doing if you want to win. (And I’m starting to realize this rule applies to life and friendship and love as well as this game!) Check in with your teammates each day. Let them know how you’re doing, but more important, ask how they’re doing and ask if there’s anything you can do today to help them step up their game. Even if you’re busy as hell, send a text message of support. It’ll make your mate feel good, it’ll make you feel great, and it’ll help your team make its way to victory!
* * *
Frequently Asked Questions
Q:
Is there an ideal number of players for a team?
A:
We have found that teams of two, three, or four players are great. When the teams get bigger than that, individual players start to feel less responsibility for their personal scores. (Like, you start to think, “Eh, Kevin and Jody always get great scores, so I can slack off a little and not bring the team down too much.”) That said, big games can be very fun and provide a lot of support and community. So, truly, anything goes!
Q:
Can I play as a team of one against a team of more than one?
A:
Yes, you can, but it’s not ideal. The group support is a big part of what makes this game effective and fun.
Q:
I think my brother should play because I’m worried about his weight, but I don’t really want to play with him, because I don’t trust him to be honest and sometimes he says really mean things to me. Should I play with him anyway?
A:
Worry about your own health first, then his. Play with people you not only like but also love and respect. As you start to feel and look better, your brother may notice and ask what you’ve been doing, at which point you can tell him about the game and let him play with his own friends. Do NOT play with him if you don’t trust him to be fair and kind. It will only piss you off and sabotage your game (which means sabotage your health).
Q:
I have such a long history of failing on diets. I want to play but I am really worried about disappointing my team.
A:
Here’s the deal: Even if you don’t score 100 percent you will be healthier for having played. So there are two things I suggest. First, remember the two types of players? There are people who thrive on winning and there are people who just enjoy playing. Find some of the latter and team up with them. And second, tell your teammates about your fear and then talk to them about WHY you have failed at diets in the past. Was it the late night hours that undid you? Maybe you can make a nightly phone appointment with a teammate and talk through those late night cravings. Was it a loathing of all things exercise-related that undid you? Maybe one of your teammates can become your workout buddy and meet you for a nightly run/walk around your neighborhood. Are you an emotional eater and in the past, bad days and sad feelings led to eating binges? Tell your teammates and ask if you can call them when you feel like eating.
Studies have shown that the act of simply pausing and/or talking when an emotional eating urge hits can abate the urge. This game provides you with a vehicle and a community to work through the issues that have undone you in the past. So play the game and use your team and then revel in the results! Go you! Go go go you!!
Q:
I have read this whole chapter and I hear what you’re saying but I know myself and I hate team games. Can’t I pleeeeease just play someone one on one? Or better yet, can I play all by myself?
A:
Yeah, you totally can. Read the next chapter; it tells you how.
* * *
Play by the Rules
* * *
Form a team of two players or more and challenge a team of two players or more.
Your team scores are averaged, so you do not need an even number of players and you can play with and against people who are at different fitness levels than you.
Your team players are meant to be a source of support, so choose wisely.
People who have group support tend to lose more weight than those who don’t.
Playful taunting is encouraged. But support of all players is essential.
Only play with people you know will have your best interests at heart.
When asking people to participate, remember that the game is not only about getting fit, it’s about getting healthy.
When you are looking for game-players, start with the people closest to you at home, or in your various communities.
You do not have to play with or on a team (but before you make that choice, read the next chapter).
Richard Maher, lost 30 pounds
I played the game because I needed to change the way I was doing things. I had a rough five years with the loss of a loved one and a serious neck injury. I put on sixty pounds in those years and could not get them off no matter what I tried. Having always been active in life, the fact that I could not take the weight off reinforced my damaged mental state.
I loved the game because in three months I lost over thirty pounds by EATING MORE THAN I NORMALLY EAT. With this game (a term which seriously underplays what it really is), I know I can get back to my healthy weight without starving myself.
Thank you so much Krista and Az!
Richard, 40
GET A PEN!
Think about all of the people you know. Then, on the following lines, list ten people off the top of your head who you think might like to play. Then list your top three choices for teammates and why you’d like to play with them and your top three choices for opponents and why you’d like to play against them. E.g.: “I’d like to play with Sally ’cause she’s always so supportive,” and “I’d like to play against Ralph because I know he will bring the funny trash talk.”
Chapter 4
PLAYING BY YOURSELF
(Which Differs Slightly from Playing with Yourself)
And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
—Confucius
* * *
The Rule: If you don’t want to play with a team, find an opponent, agree on a prize, and play. The rules are the same.
* * *
I’m not gonna lie to you. I was aaaaaalllll prepared to write this chapter as a guilt trip. Like, okay fine, if you really can’t find a way to be a team player then I suppose you can play one on one, but you’re kind of a loser if you do. But then, in preparing to write the chapter, I figured we should actually try the game one on one. So Az and I played each other, and guess what happened? I got a perfect score three weeks in a row for the first time ever.
Then, in week four, I had a psychological collapse surrounding a desperate craving for high-fructose corn sweetener and I lost. I still can’t quite talk about it.
Remember the thing about how there are two kinds of players? There are the kind who play to win and the kind who play for the fun of it. If you are the kind who likes to win, and you can find another player who likes to win as much as you do, then playing one on one can be a really fun thing.
I took on my wife, who is very type-A and very competitive. She organized the refrigerator for herself—put all her little meals in little Tupperwares—but did not make any for me. After that I decided we should probably play on the same team.
—Greg, 54
Playing one on one is strangely more intense and more competitive than playing with a team ’cause you have no one to blame but yourself if you fall down. You’re Tiger Woods or you’re Some Really Famous Tennis Player whose name I don’t know ’cause I don’t watch tennis. It’s just you and the ball and the opponent, and oh, my GOD I’m bad at writing sports metaphors. My husband is going to read this chapter and laaaaaugh. Whatever. ’Cause he is not so good at the one-on-one game.
Not too long ago, I watched him and our friend Adam shake hands at a party. They were both feeling a little fat and wanting a game but not wanting to organize one, so they figured they’d go mano a mano.
They were all pumped up.
They said they were starting Monday.
They bet an expensive dinner.
And that is the last time either of them ever discussed it.
I think they might have been drunk. But, more important, they both played football in high school and college—they are both team sport guys.
A month later, we organized a team game and put them on opposing teams and they both played all out and lost a bunch of weight.
So the trick here is to figure out whether a team will motivate you more than you will motivate you. I can say this—the fact that it was a team game inspired and drove me in the beginning. I KNOW I wouldn’t have played if Az had initially challenged me to a one-on-one game. But once I fell in love with the game, knew how good it made me feel, knew that it consistently helps me lose weight, I was happy to play one-on-one—I even played better.
* * *
• • • A Tip from Az • • •
Consider playing on a team but taking on a side bet with another player. It can be a player from your own team or the opposing team. Say, “Hey, mate, I bet I get a higher score than you this week. If I do, I win ____, but if you do, you win _____.” And bet something BIG. And then, if you tie, push the bet another week and then another. This way, you have team motivation and one-on-one motivation. A perfect combination for a perfect game.
* * *
Either way, playing with a team or playing one on one, the rules don’t change. But there is one real trick to playing one on one—and that is that you have to act as both competitor and support system for your opponent! You have to trash-talk him one minute and then call to offer support the next. Az and I are like siblings at this point, so this works for us, but choose your opponent carefully if you decide to play one on one because you will need their support!
But what about playing all by yourself? Can you just put up a prize, play the game on your own, and promise yourself you’ll reward yourself at the end if you reach a certain score?
No.
Fine. Yes.
You can totally do that.
But please do it only AFTER you’ve played the game the way it’s meant to be played at least once. Because the most successful diet and exercise plans ever studied are those that have a group support element.
And also ask yourself just one question: How well has going it alone worked for me until now?
There are people who are simply loners and they like it that way. And then there are those who are lonely. I have no studies to back this up, but I have a theory that Loneliness + Time = Extra Fat. So why not reach out? Take a leap. Form a community or just the very beginnings of one. I can tell you that playing by myself doesn’t work for me because I absolutely require the competition as motivation, which means a competitor is required. But I do have friends who, after playing a team game, have had “tune up” weeks when they play on their own, challenging themselves to accomplish a certain score, and that has worked for them to lose a few pounds here and there. I’m cool with that.
A few weeks after playing the game I noticed that I was slacking off a bit. I’d put on a few pounds again and the flab around my stomach was coming back. So I decided to play a mini-game against myself. I drew up the same points system and set myself goals. If I met my targets by the end of the week, I bought two presents: one for myself, and one for my sister. If I didn’t meet my targets, she’s the only one who’d get a present, and I would have to try again next week. Talk about sibling rivalry being a motivator!
—Josh, 24
But the idea of your never experiencing the game as it’s meant to be played—the game as competition and community—makes me sad. ’Cause I feel like you’re missing out on something big. And here’s the last thing I’ll say on this: Az and I have noticed over and over again that the way people play this game tends to reflect the way they live their lives.
Az is an intense, driven perfectionist with the occasional impulse for self-sabotage and his scores tend to reflect that. (Two perfect weeks and then a random series of penalties where he snacks on something like a few grapes and loses a bunch of points for no good reason.)
I tend to be disorganized and chaotic and my scores tend to reflect that. (A perfect day, a semi-crappy day, two perfect days, a crappy day…)
Another friend of ours has huge trouble with follow-through in his life—and indeed, he played the game for three weeks and then dropped out for no good reason.
How we play the game reflects how we live our lives.
So if your instinct is to play all alone, thereby missing out on key elements of the game, it makes me wonder what else you’re missing out on in your life.
Maybe this is a notion worth considering.
Maybe not.
Who the hell am I, anyway? I’m a TV writer with nothing even resembling a medical degree. So your psychoanalysis for the day will now officially come to a close.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q:
I like to compete with my husband, but in the past when we’ve had weight loss contests, he always wins. I think men just lose weight faster. Am I right?
A:
Yes, men do tend to lose weight faster and there are a lot of studies currently underway to determine exactly why. Part of it is men have more muscle, which helps them burn fat faster. Part of it is that women have more estrogen, which helps the body retain weight in preparation for pregnancy. But the only really important thing here is that YOUR HUSBAND WON’T WIN THIS GAME BY LOSING WEIGHT FASTER THAN YOU!!!! It’s my favorite thing about the game—it isn’t won on pounds lost, it’s won on points earned. Yes, you do have to lose a minimal amount of weight each week to earn your bonus points, but if your hubby drops ten pounds of water weight week one and you lose more like two or three, he doesn’t hav
e a leg up on you. It’s why I can compete against Az and occasionally beat him. So go you! Kick that fat bastard’s ass or die trying! Go go go!
Q:
If I start playing one on one, and then someone wants to join mid-game, should I let them?
A:
I see no good reason why not. The more the merrier.
* * *
Play by the Rules
* * *
You can play one on one. Rules stay the same.
If you are competitive and like to win, playing one on one may be more motivating for you.
Ask yourself if having a team will motivate you or not. If you’re not sure, try playing with a team first.
The game is designed to be played with others because of the support a community will give you as you transform your badass self.
GET A PEN!
Write down the reasons you want to play one on one. Then weigh those against the benefits of playing with a team that I described in the last chapter. Let it be a little pros-and-cons list. If you still think you want to play one on one, then write down the names of a few close friends who might make good one-on-one competitors.
Chapter 5
PICKING A PRIZE
(Or, Okay, I’m Skinny, Whatever, but WHAT DO I WIN???)
The Game On! Diet Page 4