“So, it is.” He kisses my shoulder. “I have a question.” His voice pulls me from the drowsy state I’m in.
“Yeah?” I swear if he asks me to have this just stay between us, I’m going to lose my mind.
“Why did you name your dog Flamingo?”
My laughs echoes off the walls. “His nose. It’s bright pink. It made sense.” I shrug, still laughing at what his voice sounded like. The curiosity was cute.
“I have a question to ask you now.” I turn over until I can see the bright blue irises looking at me. They almost glow in the dark. It’s surreal.
“Go for it.” His arms stretch above his head.
“What brought you here?” My head settles on his shoulder.
He stays silent for a moment with his breathing coming out in pants.
“Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to tell me.” Cupping his face, I kiss his cheek reassuringly. Slowly, like I was drinking in every moment.
“No, it’s fine. I just don’t like thinking about it.” He clears his throat. “My family died about six months ago. Someone was after the old Bridgeshaw money, and when they realized they couldn’t get it, they killed my parents and my brother. What’s funny though is my parents didn’t have the money they were looking for. My dad was a lawyer and my mom was a doctor. So they were well off, but it was me that had the money. My grandpa invented a way to silence a tattoo gun, and it brought in billions. It’s amazing how people associate sound with pain. Anyway, he left it to me in his will when he died because he and I shared the same love for art. My parents, my brother, they couldn’t have given the money away because they never had access to it.” Kane finally stops speaking and silent tears are trailing down my face.
“Kane…I’m so sorry. Did you ever find out who did it?” I hold him tighter. Nothing I say can make him feel better right now. I know that much. Since he is talking about it, I figure it’s a good way for me to get to know the real Kane Bridgeshaw.
“Yeah.” He lets out a sardonic laugh. “It was the family accountant. The same guy who managed my accounts too. I guess temptation and greed got the best of him. He’s serving a life sentence though, so there’s that.” His voice chokes on the last word. The pain and emotion are building up in his chest and it’s trying to find a way out.
I hold him. What can I say that every other person hasn’t said? He has heard apologies a thousand times by now. All I can do is be here, hold him, comfort him, and realize that Kane Bridgeshaw has more sides to him than meets the eyes.
“Your shop makes sense now.” Trying to ease the tension in the room, I prod at his esthetic tastes.
“What do you mean?” He pulls me closer.
“That is the fanciest tattoo shop I have ever seen. A chandelier? Really?” I laugh.
“I happen to like that chandelier!” He sits up and starts to tickle me. I laugh until tears are streaming down my face and I’m surrendering to uncle.
“Billionaire, Kane Bridgeshaw, opens fanciest tattoo shop in the world. Everyone come on down, but keep in mind the minimum for a tattoo is one thousand dollars,” I announce into the fake mic in my hand like a game show host would do.
“Okay. Ha. Ha. The minimum is sixty bucks. Just because I have money doesn’t mean I would use it against other people like that.” Kane scoots away from me a little.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. I was just trying to make you smile.” I sigh. I start to get up from the cot, but he wraps his arms around me and tucks me beside him.
“Let’s go to bed. I’m just sleep deprived from all the…activity.” He spoons me. Kane kisses my shoulder, neck, cheek, and right when I doze off into the deepest sleep, I hear two words, “I’m sorry.”
Chapter 11
The room is colder. I roll over to snuggle Kane, but my arm slaps the pillow. Stretching and wrapping the sheet around my waist, I notice that his clothes are gone. I knew it. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted him. After so many years of staying away from men, after so many years of getting over Hayden, I finally take a leap of faith, and what happens? I get pulled under by the strength and current of Kane. I was in a safe zone. My ocean was smooth, I was gliding on it, living my life to the best of my ability. Then Kane buys his way in to my life and destroys my smooth water by creating violent waves. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling broken. My heart is mine and mine alone. I control it.
One tear drops, then two. “I knew it!” I curl into a ball on the cot in the emergency room in the shelter. Oh my God, the emergency room? This was far from being urgent! I broke every rule I made for this place! What does that say about me?
Noticing the skylight above still shows the night sky, I stay curled up like that. Every move made, the ache of what happened last night twinges in my muscles and between my legs. It’s been six years since I’ve felt so used. I guess this is what guys want, right? They just want to use me until they get off.
How humiliating. He left me covered in his sticky essence. Why am I such a fool? It reminds me we didn’t use a condom.
“How could I be so careless?” I palm my face. I’m going to have to get the morning after pill.
My tears travel down the apples of my cheeks. The salt lingers on my lips. The smell of him is heavy in the room. It smells like a forest after a good rain. My fist clenches the sheet and a painful wail makes its way out as I smother it against the pillow.
My body heaves.
Everything in my vision blurs since the tears won’t stop. This room holds him. The room holds us. The memories of our love making are embedded in these walls; every shout, moan, whimper, and groan, these walls will remember.
After a solid half hour of feeling sorry for myself, I finally get up. Forget him. Even though he was the best sex I’ve ever had. It felt so good to let go. The way my body submitted to him…I would do that repeatedly if it means feeling like I wasn’t in control.
The way he thrust into me, the way he made me call him sir, the way his girth filled and stretch every space inside me, he felt perfect. He felt like mine. That’s what happens when a girl dreams about a man. She is left disappointed and heartbroken, crying over him. Someone that was no good for her anyway.
Wiping the remaining tears off my face, I change into a black shirt and khaki pants I keep here for emergencies. I could really kick myself in the tush for being so irresponsible! Brushing my teeth with my finger because I am apparently not prepared for everything, I’m ready for my Kane-less day. Ha. Kane-less, I don’t even have one of those.
Seeing that it’s pushing seven in the morning, it is time to do rounds. Opening all the cages to let the dogs out, it gives me a chance to change their sheets. I call Molli and David. I need them. They have never left me behind, naked, with their sweat still clinging to my skin.
Both of their phones go to voicemail. Figures. They are probably together. Naked.
“Get over it, Leslie,” I mutter to myself as I violently scoop out the dog food. Rorie should be here any moment to take over. I just want to go home, soak in my awesome infinity bath without Kane, cause he sucks, and move on with my life. Heck, maybe I’ll even call Chase. I can’t keep calling Chase when I’m running from Kane.
“All right, what’s on your mind?”
“Ah!” Dog food goes flying, hitting Rorie in the face. “Oh my God, you scared me!”
“Yeah, and you doused me in dog chow. Aw man, it went down my shirt.” It takes everything I have to not laugh at her digging for treasure in her bra.
“It’s been a long night. Everything’s fine. No damage. I’m glad the storm passed and didn’t decide to stick around,” I yawn. “All right, I’m exhausted. I’ll see you later. Call me if you need me.”
“Bye, Leslie/” Rorie waves.
“Flamingo. Lily. Let’s go.” Where’s my dog?
“You’re taking Lily?” she asks curiously.
“Yeah, they’re with each other all time. I don’t have the heart to separate them.” I shrug my shoulders
. “Instead of an old cat lady, I’ll just be an old dog lady/”
Rorie throws her head back and laughs. “Yeah right! You have the top picks in this town: Chase and Kane,” she counts.
“I don’t want either,” I say too quickly. “I’ve got to go. Bye.” Turning around, I dash out the door and don’t stop running until I get to my Jeep. “All right, come on. Time to go home.” I’m going to take three shots of whatever alcohol I have at home and sleep. I’m going to fall into my stack of fluffy pillows and pretend the world doesn’t exist until tomorrow. That sounds grand.
***
“Aw, look. Take a photo. It’s like a little Leslie sandwich,” Molli’s voice invades my dream of me slapping Kane across the face while riding his thick shaft.
“Did you know she was getting another dog?” David snaps a few photos because I can hear the little shutter sound it makes.
“Did you know the person you are speaking of is right here?” I throw my arm over Flamingo.
“Well, did you know you have two dogs in your bed? One on either side?” he asks.
“No kidding?” I snuggle deeper into the amazing cuddles of dogs. “Best way to wake up, ever, hands down.”
A little squeal fills the air. “Flamingo! Come on, dude!” I rush out of bed to open a window. What did he eat? It smells like something died. I can’t stop gagging.
“Save yourselves!” Molli, David, and I run to the living room to get away from the stench of Flamingo. Gosh, he is rotten.
Settling on the couch, the sound of soft rain beats against my tin roof. I forgot we were supposed to get some more storms. I can’t even look at rain without thinking of Kane. He looked so edible, soaked with his hair sticking to his face and the water dripping off the plush bottom lip.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” David comes and sits next to me as Molli puts in a movie.
Sniffling, I say, “Stupid guy stuff.” I pull my knees up and lay my head on them as David pets my hair.
“Talk to Dr. David. He knows all.” He leans back on the couch and pulls me with him.
“Don’t ever call yourself that again. It gives me the creeps.” Molli pretends to shiver with disgust.
“I’m not even going to try and hide it. Kane and I…had sex last night,” I mutter the last words softy into David’s side, hoping they didn’t hear me.
“What? Where! Was it on the front desk? You animal!” David punches my arm playfully.
“No. In the back room.” This is so uncomfortable.
“The one for emergencies?” Molli asks.
Closing my eyes in annoyance, I say, “Yes. The one for emergencies.”
“Well, I mean it was an orgasm emergency,” David says matter-of-factly.
“Only you would say that with a serious face.” Molli throws one of my couch pillows that is lined with sequins at David.
David gasps dramatically with his hand on his heart. “The fact that you don’t think they are serious leaves me wondering why we’re friends.”
“Shut up.” Molli rolls her eyes but smiles.
“So what happened? Are you guys seeing each other again?” Molli settles against me and David until we look like a pack of wolves huddling for warmth.
“Shhhh, I love this part,” I whisper.
“It’s the beginning. No one likes the beginning of Titanic. We all know it’s the handprint scene on the foggy car window that leaves us full of emotion. Don’t evade my question,” Molli prods.
“We had amazing sex. The best sex I have had since Hayden, and I woke up alone. That’s it. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to think of him. We got each other out of our systems. He can add me to the notches on his bed posts, and I’ll sit here licking my wounds for a night. It’s fine. Now, shut up. I want to watch Jack paint Rose like one of his French girls,” I huff.
“That’s not for another hour!” David yells. “Give me details! Was he really good in bed? Was he, you know…” David wiggles his eyebrows. “Big or fake big where you pretend it feels good when really you can’t feel it at all?”
“Oh my God! I am not answering that.” A knock sounds at my front door.
David gets so tangled in all of our limbs trying to get up that I almost face plant on the hardwood floor.
Walking to the door, David turns around for my answer and I make a hand gesture signaling just how big Kane really was. Molli’s mouth drops down in an ‘O’.
“Close your mouth, Molli. You’ll catch flies.” David opens the door. His smile vanishes immediately and slams the door.
“David, who was it?” My laugh dies down to a serious tone.
“No one important.”
“David!” I rush to the door hoping to apologize to the person for David’s rudeness.
Opening the heavy wood, my mouth falls open. It’s Kane. He’s soaked to the bone from the rain, shivering. For some reason, I never thought people like him got cold. It’s dumb, I know, but when I think of a guy Kane’s size, I think of warmth for some reason.
Flamingo comes to my side, sits, and gives the evilest growl I have ever heard in his three years of life.
“Good boy, Flamingo.” David throws him a piece of popcorn from the couch. Flamingo catches, but his eyes never leave Kane.
I need a man like my dog.
Chapter 12
“You.” He has some nerve showing up here looking delicious. This time his hair is up in a messy bun, accentuating his defined jawline. Water droplets drip down his face, making my mouth dry. I want to lick them off. All for the sake of hydration, right?
“Me.” He holds his arms out/ “I’ll just say it. I’m sorry, Leslie. I don’t know how to do this with you. You make me…” He grunts with frustration. “You make me freaking crazy. Every time I am around you, you make me feel things I haven’t felt since before my family died. When they died, a part of me died with them. It’s like you revived me and brought me back to life.” He rubs his chest.
“Right here.” He grabs my hand and lays it over his heart. The steady beat pounds against my palm. “You feel that. It’s racing. You do that to me, and I don’t know how handle it.” He curls his fingers with mine, locking us together above his heart. I don’t want to be above his heart, though. I want to be in it.
A piece of that beautiful ink black hair falls out of that messy bun he has it in, making my fingers twitch to push it behind his ear. I need to learn restraint. I can’t just touch him whenever I want. He isn’t mine. I’m not his. No matter how I feel, no matter how I wish he was, no matter…
My voice rasps, “You left me there. Kane, you left me cold, alone, and naked. You left me with your essence sticking to me. Do you know how I felt waking up only to realize that you up and left? I felt humiliated.” I push him in the chest with both hands. “I felt used.” I push him again, making him stumble. “I felt dirty!”
He grabs my arms to stop the maddening pushes and shakes his head. “I’ll never forgive myself for making you feel like that. I was a coward running away from my own feelings. I shouldn’t have ever walked away from you.” Those large black leather boots step forward and instinctively it makes my little slippers take a step back until the wood designs from the door dig into my back.
A chill from the wind blows, and I wrap my rainbow-colored cardigan around myself tighter. “What do you really want, Kane?”
I avert my eyes from his crystal blues to watch the rain instead. I don’t want to get so lost in him that I can never find myself again. I have a feeling that this is where I’m headed, and I better turn around now, since I can still see the light from the path I’ve paved.
“What about Chase?” he blurts.
“Are. You. Kidding. Me. Right. Now? You leave me naked on a cot, come over here, and declare…whatever you’re declaring, and you have the nerve to ask about Chase? You are insanity wrapped in a black bow! Chase wouldn’t do that to me.” My arms have a mind of their own as I push him again on the chest, making him tumble down the three steps the p
orch has. He lands in the cold rain and muddy ground with a hard plop. What is that saying? The bigger they are…
“Okay, I deserved that.” He clicks his tongue. His hand grips the muddy earth and, briefly, I imagine that same hand cupping my breasts last night.
His powerful legs stand tall, bringing him to full sexy height. He looks like a mythological God right now. His powerful silhouette is stark against the hard rain. Kane charges towards me, his heavy footsteps bang against the wooden steps, matching the drumming beat of my heart.
“I ask about Chase because you need to know I don’t share. You are mine, Leslie. Every whimper, every moan, every time your voice yells my name, belongs to me.” He crowds me again until my back is once again hitting the door. My legs shake, my lungs fight for air, and wetness floods between my thighs from his radiance of raw, primal lust.
“You don’t own me,” I barely manage to say. I’m clouded with confusion and lust. That usually doesn’t end well.
He aligns his built body with mine, his chest rubs against my nipples, making me inhale sharply. I can’t tell if my skin is damp with need or from the rain gracing the night. The once cool air I felt earlier is gone and temptation replaces it, making my body feel feverish. The rough, wet denim of his jeans rubs against my thigh, making it known that his long girth is hard, begging to break free from that denim imprisonment.
The sound of a window opening pulls me out of Kane’s haze. “Leslie, are you okay? I hear a lot of banging, yelling, and occasional moaning. Can you just tell me if you’re okay?” David’s voice echoes throughout the night.
Sighing, my head falls back, hitting the door. Before giving an answer, I stare at Kane, asking him with my eyes if I am okay. He rubs the pad of his thumb against my face and nods. He has a sweet, longing look in his eyes. The fight that I saw in them yesterday isn’t there.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Go away, David,” I yell in annoyance.
“Gosh a guy cares too much, he gets hell. A guy doesn’t care enough, he gets hell. Unbelievable.” The window closes with a hard thud.
The Ink Romance Series Page 7