by Nora Cobb
“You’re still thinking about something,” he says softly.
“I wasn’t completely out,” I admit it. “I heard what Troy said.”
“About what?”
“About taking turns.” The words choke my throat. “I wasn’t out stone-cold.”
“Look,” he says. “If I had wanted to do something, I would’ve done it. But I’m not into that shit.”
“I know,” I whisper. “You watched over me.”
At first, Jacob looks embarrassed, then confused as he stands up from the table. I close my eyes and hold myself small, waiting for him to explode. No noise, no banging, no nothing. I open my eyes, and Jacob is standing over me, waiting for me.
“Look, Troy’s just fucked up.” he whispers. “The whole being a virgin thing is getting to him, especially since Lucas and I aren’t. We compete for everything. You won’t understand it.”
“He tried to rape me!” My voice screeches, and Jacob winces as if I hit him. Briefly, I wonder if Jacob and Lucas have ever tried the same thing alone in a dark bedroom at a party. My doubts poke me in the ribs, and I grip my robe tight around my neck. Nothing happened, and I have to cling fast to that fact.
“But he didn’t.” Jacob looks desperate as he tries to explain.
“That’s not the fucking point, Jacob!”
He does not answer this time. Finally, he looks at me. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t create my mess,” my voice is steady, “but Troy creates his.”
Jacob nods. “He’s rich, good-looking, and spoiled, Nat. He thinks he can get away with this shit.”
“Are you here to find out if I’m going to cause trouble?”
“No. I told you. I’ll handle it.”
I scoff. “Are you going to beat him up? Is that part of the code?”
The look on his face confirms my guess. They have their own justice.
“He’s an asshole.” My voice is loud. “And I’m sick of all you rich assholes.”
“What does that make me?” Jacob challenges me with a cocky look. “An asshole with a heart of gold?”
Lowering my head, I press my lips together and laugh. I smack his hard thigh with my hand, and he laughs.
“You have dimples when you smile,” I say softly.
My eyes widen as Jacob’s face heats up. It occurs to me that I haven’t seen Jacob with a girl.
“Are you blushing?” I look hard.
“Stop that,” he snaps.
I jump out of my chair. “You are blushing.”
“Pipe down, Trashalicious.”
Rolling my eyes, I sigh. “And I was just about to thank you for calling me Natalie instead. Thanks,” I mutter, and then I speak up. “Thanks for looking out for me. It was good of you.”
Jacob seems surprised, and I wonder what his home life is like. He looks startled every time he’s told that he’s done something good. I can’t end it there.
“Considering,” I added.
“Considering what?” He screws up his face, and it makes me smile.
“That you didn’t like me at first, and now you’re protecting me.”
His expression expresses frustration. “Natalie, I’ll take care of it. Trust me. You understand? We’re not going to talk about this anymore. Okay?”
Jacob has a pleading look in his eyes that I have never seen from a Montlake kid. And suddenly, I realize that he’s waiting for my answer. Rich kids at Montlake demand, but here is one asking.
“Okay, Jock-boy.”
Smiling, Jacob holds out a hand, lifting me from my chair, and we walk to the front door.
“You’ll be okay. You’re looking better already.” His voice is soft and I stare up into his eyes, knowing he’s telling me the truth. But can I trust everything he says?
“Thanks, but I look like shit today.”
He shakes his head. “No, you don’t.”
Jacob gives me the same look as the day we almost kissed in the library, but this time he takes a step forward and he does it.
It’s not a smooth kiss. Lucas’ kisses are practiced, but Jacob’s kiss is genuine. At first, it’s a little awkward as we bang noses until we turn our heads just right. His lips press too hard against mine and I ease back. Jacob misreads my signal and starts to pull away. But I reach my arms up and wrap them around his neck, pulling my lips gently against him. I can feel my breasts flatten against his hard chest. And I sigh as his arms pull me close to him.
It isn’t what I was expecting. It’s better. I felt sweetness when Anthony kissed me. I felt waves when Lucas kissed me. But when Jacob kisses me, I feel electricity. My brain zooms out of focus and I float in the clouds. It’s so corny, but when you feel those sparks you lose your cool. It’s like the first time I kissed a boy in junior high and in an odd way, it’s just as special.
When it ends, Jacob doesn’t say anything for a while as he stares down at me in his arms. He runs his finger along my chin, pushing a strand of hair off my cheek. He lets me go and opens the door.
Jacob looks back before getting into his Rover. Leaning in the open doorway, I watch him and maybe there’s something more than curiosity between us. Jacob jumps into his car and drives off down the driveway. I watch his car until he turns off onto the road. My hand goes to my lips and I want to believe him. But I know what I heard when they were arguing. Maybe he felt remorse? It’s a foolish thought. He’s not the type to regret. I can’t think about it and I won’t anymore.
That night, Lucas doesn’t text. Beth tries to call, but I don’t feel like talking. Uncle Phil is a little pissed that I finished off the pasta. I point out that I left the wine. He doesn’t look too pleased with my joke.
Returning to my room after dinner, I feel restless as I think about school tomorrow. Holding my teddy bear, I toss and turn thinking about Jacob’s kiss as I drift off to sleep.
CHAPTER 14
“I tried to scrub it off, but they must have used permanent marker.”
Beth stands beside me as we stare at my locker door covered with rude graffiti in black handwriting. The words “slut, whore, hooker, herpes ho,” and every other insult that might fit are written like a jigsaw puzzle, with each word fitting into the next without leaving any blank spaces. I wonder if it’s been there since Monday. It makes the daily strip of condoms look tame. The hall is quiet as seniors busy themselves at their spotless lockers and wait to witness my meltdown, but all I can do is stare.
“Come on,” Beth tugs at my arm and leads me away. “We’ll go tell maintenance to paint over it.”
There’s a snort and a laugh, and then a voice asks, “How much?”
Lawson, a quiet senior with flat brown hair, is smirking in my direction. In the past, he’s always ignored me, but now he has the balls to be cruel. He looks ignorant, standing there with a big grin on his face as his dork friend snorts back laughter. “Well,” he repeats, “how much?”
“Look, mini dick,” Beth threatens him with her fist. “Shut your hole if you know what’s good for you, Lawson.”
I do my best not to burst into a fury on top of his head. I did nothing wrong, and I refuse to get in trouble for other people’s shitty behavior. Lawson laughs at us as his stupid friend starts catcalling. Seniors that are usually indifferent are tormenting and testing me to see how far they can go.
“Why don’t you both pay each other for a hand job,” Beth shouts at my tormentors, “instead of doing it for free in the locker room, you rats’ asses?”
I yank Beth away from them, and we hurry past the elevator. Running down the stairs, we head outside toward East Hall. Passing kids make rude comments loud enough to be overheard. That boy’s disrespect was just the start of my shitty day.
“You should have let me punch him in his bobbing Adam’s apple,” Beth mutters.
“I let you do that,” I reply, “ and we’ll end up spending the entire day swinging at people.”
We enter through the back door of East Hall, and the freshmen star
e back like a parliament of owls. All wide-eyed but stupid, they act as if they’ve never seen women who know ‘the birds and the bees’ have nothing to do with animals.
At lunchtime, I keep my eyes focused straight ahead as I enter the student center. Loud conversations change into whispers, and people watch intently as I cross the cafeteria floor. With a sneer on his rude face, Troy is seated alone at the jocks’ table. I’m not sitting beside that sick bully. I strut right past him, back to my old lunch table. Today, the pecking order can go straight to hell. Troy doesn’t stop eyeing me as if he’s still on the hunt. Creepy bastard. I can’t figure out his need to make trouble. Sitting down, I’m relieved to see Anthony, but he barely looks up at me. His face is dark as his spiky black hair falls into his downcast green eyes.
Food can wait because we have to talk here and now.
“Did you know?” I whisper as I lean toward him. Sharply, Anthony glances away, and I know that he does know. “Why didn’t you tell me yesterday?”
“Why would I tell you what?” His eyes are full of hurt as he turns on me. “You know what you did.”
“And what is that?” I challenge him to say it out loud to my face.
And Anthony doesn’t miss a beat. “Word is you slept with the captains of all the teams. They’re calling it a fuck-fest.”
Gasping, I didn’t expect him to say that, but I also didn’t expect him to believe the crap being said about me. I’m hurt through and through.
“You know I didn’t do anything,” I reply coldly.
“That’s not what word on the street is,” he huffs, shoving his hands into his pockets.
I glance over at a smug Troy, and I wonder if Jacob’s done anything about him. He said he would handle it, but obviously nothing has changed. In fact, it’s gotten unbearable around here. Kids that were kept in check because I was on the cheer squad are now openly calling me names and asking me rude questions. One boy tried to touch my chest because he thought he could until I clobbered him. This is not cool, and I’m not suffering these immature boys with rampant hormones and roadhouse manners.
I’m going to put them in their place like I should have on day one. I march over to the jocks’ table, while an alert Cora watches me. Her eyebrows arch while she whispers in Troy’s ear. I shove her out of the way and send her teetering across the floor in her four-inch high heels.
“We’re going to have a talk.” I stand as close as I can without touching Troy.
Turning his head, Troy tries to ignore me, but I shove him in the back. His body barely moves as the muscles in his jaw tense. A flash of anger passes over his face but it’s quickly replaced with a stony mask. Without lifting his eyes, he brushes his shoulder off like he’s swatting at a fly.
“Something smells like trash. Do you smell that, Cora?”
Sitting down in her seat, Cora laughs at full volume and acts as if it’s the funniest joke of the day. I have no patience with her. She’s the one who handed me the drink. He’s a deviant, and she’s clueless for hanging with him.
“You know what you did!” I yell. “It’s the only way you’ll get a girl.”
That truth strikes through his hard shell. Troy spins around in his chair to face me, and his placid expression is contorted into an ugly grimace.
“Why don’t you spread your legs somewhere else?” he hisses into my face.
“You are twisted!” I screech, poking my nail into his chest as Cora’s mouth drops open. “I know what you did. I heard what you said. And she fucking helped you!”
“Shut up, slut. You know you’re a whore!” Shouting, Troy sprays me with a spray of spit as his perfect complexion morphs into a blotchy shade of red. He leaps out of his chair, sending it to the floor. I’m glad I’m getting to him. I’m so happy he’s pissed.
Crossing my arms, I say loudly, “How would you know, virgin?”
Troy grabs for my sweater as his nostrils flare. I’ve never seen such a look of pure evil directed at me as he lifts his hand. Let him hit me. Let him show his true colors to the entire school. Turning my head and closing my eyes, I brace for the worst, but it doesn’t come. Jacob has grabbed Troy from behind, and has him pinned in his grip.
“What is wrong with you, Troy?” huffs Jacob. “Seriously? Not in here.”
What does that fucking mean? Would it have been okay somewhere else in private? Swallowing, I take a step backward. The rest of the court is here—Arielle, Lexi, and Lucas. With shocked expressions, they stand motionless, as if they’re witnessing something playing out on a news feed.
“I told you I’d take care of it.” Jacob glares at me as he pushes Troy back down into his seat. They’re both red and sweaty from the effort. Troy is probably one of the few boys in Montlake who can physically match up with Jacob.
“Take care of what?” I pause and bite my lower lip. I will my tears not to fall before I continue. “Have you seen my locker? People are throwing condoms at me as I walk down the hall.”
“Who are they?”
“Everyone.” I wave my hands around in circles, gesturing toward the entire student body. The cafeteria goes quiet enough to hear the landscapers mowing the grass outside. I’ve never been in a room this large with so many people that are perfectly motionless at the same time. Rude boys are holding their breaths and hoping that I won’t point in their direction.
With his eyes narrowed to slits, Jacob scans the room, giving every student a look that would scare a career criminal straight. Jacob’s cheeks are flushed, his forehead is sweaty, and he’s about to go off. He looks as if he’s about to destroy every person in the room, but instead, he grabs a struggling Troy by the collar and drags him out of the cafeteria. The rest of the court hurries behind a manic Troy, who calls Jacob every vulgar insult he can think of between the cafeteria and the main door.
Once outside, Jacob tosses Troy onto the ground like a cigarette butt. “If you lay a finger on her again,” he growls, “I’ll fuck you up.”
“Let’s calm down.” Lucas puts a warning hand on Jacob’s shoulder, but Jacob pushes him away. He stumbles into Arielle and she holds him steady.
“What’s wrong with you, Jacob?” asks a horrified Arielle.
He pulls his hand through his sweaty hair. “It’s gone too far,” he hisses. “Call them off. You too, Arielle. It’s a nasty rumor, and it’s not anyone else’s business.”
Jacob looks toward the student center doors where Anthony is standing in the doorway, listening. He’s not daring to come any closer but it’s not fear. I watch him along with the others. I was distressed that Anthony believed the gossip, but then again the whole school believes I’m a slut. Anthony looks a little pale as he slips back inside the building, and I can’t help but feel vindicated.
Jacob puts his hand on my shoulder, to calm me or comfort me. I don’t care. This really isn’t about me personally. It involves me, but I don’t dare cry. Jacob looks too pissed for any more shit from any of us today. I hold back my tears and pull it together fast. I have no intention of breaking down in front of anyone at Montlake. It would only make them laugh, the cold-hearted bastards. I take a step away from Jacob and try to look like I can stand alone on my own two feet.
But it’s too late. They know they’ve gotten to me.
CHAPTER 15
Jacob’s threats work on the boys, but he’d never punch a girl, and they all know that. Arielle’s gossip machine is burning over time, smearing my name all over the school and beyond. I can’t check my social media accounts without being tormented by someone hiding behind a throwaway account. The bitches even create a phony e-vite to the next fuck-fest hosted by me.
During cheer practice, Cora whispers to Lexi the reason why I can do a split so well. I want to ask her how she would know about that, but I look straight ahead and ignore the whispers and giggles. After practice, Lexi sweetly suggests that I not shame the squad by wearing my uniform to school.
But Arielle’s torment is the worst because it’s physical. She proves
her hatred by tripping me during our practice routines and grinning while I fall to the ground hard. Smiling, she helps me up with a faint apology as her nails dig into my arm.
“I wouldn’t want you to break something,” she hisses in my ear, “Or you won’t be able to stay on the squad.”
Eventually, a startled Ms. Petrenko catches Arielle in the act and pulls her aside. Ms. Petrenko questions her, but Arielle is almost a foot taller than Ms. Petrenko. The whole time, she looks down her nose while our red-faced teacher scolds her. Of course, it doesn’t help, because it only makes Arielle sneakier.