by Nora Cobb
Troy glares at me with an ice-cold look that only hints at how he’d like to hurt me. He puts his hands down as the crowd watching inches away from us. My heart starts to beat harder than before, and I wonder if I’m in bigger trouble. It’s a slim to none chance that Jacob will appear, and Anthony is lying prone on the ground, wiping his busted lip.
“I’m warning you,” I snarl at him as if I could beat him down with my scrawny fists. “Never touch me or my friends ever again.”
My words are hateful, and I say them like I mean them. But Troy isn’t fazed by my futile threats. He smirks at my boldness as his eyes glint, and his expression of hate and loathing makes me take an involuntary step back.
“You need to learn your place, trash.” He takes a step forward and whispers against my ear, “Because you don’t want me to teach you a lesson you won’t forget.”
My body shudders from my head to my toes as Troy never takes his eyes off me. Anthony finally manages to get up and he foolishly approaches Troy. He puts a warning hand up as he steps between us. But Troy smacks Anthony’s bloodied hand down before he stalks off.
“This place is fucked up.” I stare after Troy as he disappears down the exit steps, wondering if the amnesty will be called off. “Are you okay?” I turn to Anthony and wince at the blood staining his light gray T-shirt.
He nods, wiping his hands on his jeans. “Thanks …” he mutters, then looks away. “Again.”
Slowly, the students leave. Some take the steps down and others wait for the elevator. They joke and laugh, staring back at us. I want to curse them all out. Not one person cares if Anthony is hurt, or tries to help. It’s over, and they need to get their stupid, smug asses to class.
“Why was he hitting you?” I reach into my bag and hand Anthony a small package of tissues. He takes it with a shy grin, thanking me.
Anthony doesn’t answer right away. He looks uncertain of what to reveal.
“Anthony.” My voice has a tone in it. This is the second time I’ve defended him, and I want the truth.
“Cromwell reprimanded Troy and threatened him with expulsion.”
“But why’s he hitting you?” My voice is barely a whisper as I feel a cold chill down to my bones.
“I don’t know why. I guess he’s blaming me.” Anthony looks sheepishly away.
But I know why and involuntarily, I tremble, realizing too late what I’ve done. I’ve broken the code. Cromwell would never keep that information to himself. It gives him leverage against a wealthy family to know what their son is capable of doing. In a flash, the words I spilled play back in my mind. Each one is damning. It doesn’t matter to Cromwell what Troy tried to do. It only matters what I accused him of doing. Slowly, my thoughts return to the present, but now, I’m dreading the future.
“Nat, I want to apologize.”
I’m too distracted to care about Anthony’s train wreck. Right now, my problems are so much worse, but I can’t tell anyone else.
“Nat, are you okay?” He places a hand on my elbow. I look at his hand, wondering if it has blood on it. My sharp look makes him pull his hand away.
“Sure,” I say flatly. “We have to go to class, or we’ll be late.”
We walk in silence. Since my parents’ death, I have beaten myself up, wondering what if they had done it differently? Mom didn’t want to go to the Bahamas. She wanted to go to Europe, but the flight was too expensive. Dad said he didn’t want to pay that much money so they could pinch pennies through Europe. No, the islands were closer, and they could afford more with a good deal.
Well, luck doesn’t exist. Not good or bad. It’s all about timing. My timing sucks. If I had better timing I’d have arrived at school five minutes later and missed both fights. Or maybe not. Anthony does seem to get beaten up a lot. We’re about to walk up the steps into North Hall when Anthony steps in front of me, and I stop.
“Hey, before you go in there, I want to ask you something.” Shyly, he looks around while he speaks. And he’s lisping over his words because his lip is swollen. He should really go to the nurse. “Do you want to go to homecoming? With me, of course.”
That gets my attention. My eyes widen in alarm, and my lips twitch as I see the blood forming on his mouth again. Looking hurt, Anthony reaches for his lip and looks at his feet. It’s all about timing. And I really do wonder what he’s thinking. Flustered, I don’t know what to say.
“It’s okay.” He turns away, refusing to look at me, making me feel a little shallow. “I must look pretty gross with a busted lip.”
“No, that’s not it.” I try to laugh it off. “Let’s talk at lunch, okay?”
Holding the door open for me, he smiles with a crooked grin. He’s not a bad-looking guy. In my old school, he’d rule over the seniors because he’s cool. There are other fringe kids around but the difference is they’re rich burnouts. No matter how high they fly, they remember the rules. They were born knowing the code. Anthony and I will always be on the outside looking in. I should say yes because no one will care if I date poor Anthony. He doesn’t have a trust fund or scholarship, and I wonder briefly how he pays for school.
***
My phone vibrates in my bag during English, distracting me from class. Mrs. Estes is droning on about some dissed writer who died in obscurity, and all I want to do is pass the class. Watching her like a hawk, I slip my phone out of my bag. It’s a text from Jacob, and I have a missed call from Lucas. He also sent a text, and both are asking me to homecoming. Sighing, I push my phone back in my bag as Mrs. Estes’ beady eyes lock on me.
Walking down the hall with my shoulders slumped, I arrive at my locker. There are no condoms taped to the door or graffiti detailing my supposed sexual expertise. I breathe a sigh of relief that unwinds my tense body.
Troy must have done something else, and no one knows that I said anything. Troy’s a sneaky, blue-blooded bastard. He must have a long list of crap he’s done this week and I can’t be the only one he’s messed with. He tries to play it cool, but all the captains have secrets and someone’s bound to notice.
I open my locker and nothing’s been touched. It’s unfair. Why should I be the one punished for what Troy tried to do? I’m glad I attacked him. I face the inside of my locker, and I can’t hold back the tears.
They wanted me to cry, and now, I am.
CHAPTER 18
The thought of going to another party makes my stomach roll into the pit of my gut. They must think I’m insane or an amnesiac. I thought I made it clear how I felt about the last party. Why go to the homecoming dance? So I can be targeted and humiliated again?
I have a solid excuse not to go, so I don’t have to decide who to go with. It’s as easy as that.
At lunchtime, I’m on a mission of self-preservation. I lift my chin and walk straight to the art building and find Anthony sitting alone on the wall, staring at his phone. His lip isn’t as bad as before. It’s swollen, but at least the bleeding has stopped.
“Where’s Beth?” I look toward the door. We don’t need an audience, but I’m unsure if I want to be alone with him after I tell him.
Anthony combs his spiky hair back with his fingers. “She went to the mall,” he answers with a steady gaze on his phone.
I’m a little hurt that Beth didn’t ask me. Funny. She’s the one person I’d want to hang out with but she ditched me. I sling my bag down on the low wall and sit beside Anthony, carefully checking that my skirt is underneath my legs. I was feeling brave before I got here. Now, I’m not so bold.
“You don’t look too happy,” Anthony frowns as he studies my startled expression. “They’re not picking on you again?”
I shake my head and straighten my back. I tell him what I have to say quickly. “I’m not going to homecoming.”
Anthony puts down his phone and spins around to face me.
“Why not?” He scowls as if I’ve lost my mind. He looks offended, as if I’m worse than Troy or any other rich kid.
“Seriously? Do
we not go to the same school?” I glare at him, daring him to question me. Then I hammer him with all my reasons. He knows how I’ve been bullied at Montlake. How we’ve both been treated here. Just like me, he’s picked on because he’s not one of them. Sensing my irritation, Anthony sits back and gives me space.
“Yes, we go to the same school. But I thought it might be fun this year to go. It would be fun if we went together.”
I remember that we were supposed to hang out for my birthday, and didn’t. We never did make plans again and this must be Anthony’s way of trying to date me. I’m being stubborn on purpose. Refusing to acknowledge that he likes me. But I’m not sure if this is the right thing. I mean I’ve had to intervene twice while he was getting his ass kicked. I’m on cheer squad and I have a place at the head table. I hate myself for pretending. My mom would be ashamed of me if I turn into a snob.
But the very real fact is that the last party I went to was a disaster. Maybe I should do the smart thing and just stay home.
“It’s not you. I just don’t want to go. Not after that last party.” My voice shakes a little. “You know how nasty they are.”
Anthony averts his eyes and stares at a patch of weeds growing between the cracked walkway. “Don’t worry,” he says quietly. “It’s on school property with chaperones.”
“I’m on school property every day with chaperones!” I almost shout. Instead I swing my arms out wide for emphasis and knock his bag onto the ground.
His bag isn’t zipped closed and as it falls open, a few items roll into plain view. There’s a small glass bottle, the type you’d pick up at a dollar store for DIY, and inside it are roofies. I recognize them from an online search I did after the party. Anthony grabs for them but I’m faster. Blocking his hand away with my shoulder, I pick them up before Anthony can hide them.
The blood drains out of my face as my voice shakes. “Why are you carrying this around?”
“I can explain.” He yanks the bottle out of my grasp and puts it back in his bag. He’s careful to zip his bag closed this time.
“What are you doing with that stuff, Anthony?”
With a deep sigh, Anthony looks down and shields a pained expression on his face. “I can’t afford Montlake,” he admits. “And neither can my parents, so I have to sell.”
He turns on me with a pained expression. “You’ve only just figured it out.”
My eyes widen as I realize how dumb I’ve been. “I thought it was just weed, not roofies. And I didn’t think you sold it. I thought you just smoked.”
His face heats up and he can barely look me in the eye. We’ve never talked about anything personal before. I never questioned the reason why Jacob attacked him. I heard the rumors that Jacob wasn’t all muscle by nature, but I couldn’t imagine Anthony getting his hands on steroids. Except if he could make money. I wrap my arms around my sides as I think about Troy.
“I don’t sell hard drugs anymore.” He pleads his case, hoping that it will still be okay between us. “Just weed. And now, you can almost get a script for it.”
“But you sold the hard stuff once.” I swallow softly as tears sting the back of my throat. “Troy gave me a roofie, Anthony. He tried to rape me.”
Anthony’s body shakes as if I kicked him hard in the stomach. I should, but my bluntness is enough to shock him. He has to realize what he’s done.
“I’m so sorry, Natalie.” His voice is soft and he reaches out. Quickly, I stand up, backing away from him.
“Sorry? That won’t fix the mess I’m in. It’s your fault. Why would you sell something like that?”
“Nat, he forced me.”
“Forced you?” Hot tears stream down my cheeks as I lose it. The person I trusted from the start has made me vulnerable. The thought of what might have happened flashes into my brain, and I can’t look at Anthony anymore and I cover my face with my hands. He tugs at my arm, but I pull away.
“Please don’t cry, Natalie. I’ll make it up to you.”
“Make it up to me?” I shake my head. “You can’t. I don’t want to see you again. Don’t talk to me. As far as I’m concerned, you don’t fucking exist anymore!”
My words hurt Anthony as his face crumples, but I’m taking it easy on him. Still, I can’t be as vicious as Arielle or Troy. No matter how angry I am, I can’t rip someone to shreds. He shuffles his feet timidly, and steps closer as if he wants to take me in his arms.
I don’t want him touching me. I can’t forgive Anthony for what he’s done. He had to know that Trot would use those roofies on someone. Why would it have been okay if it wasn’t me? And at first when he heard the rumors about me fucking my way through all the captains, Anthony actually believed them and blamed me.
Blindly, I grab my bag off the wall and run to the door as he shouts my name.
CHAPTER 19
I want to skip cheer practice, but I can’t. Missing one more class, including practice, will land me back in Cromwell’s office. I ignore the other girls, especially the queens, and keep my eyes on the thick grass beneath my feet as I practice my moves on the field. Arielle, Cora, and Lexi simply ignore me but there are no dirty looks or snippy remarks made under their breath. It’s as if I am transparent, and they only interact with me when our acrobatics require touching.
The squad shouts and flows through the routine as students stop to watch including the jocks on the adjacent field. I feel a light breeze on my back as I strike a pose after a challenging somersault and we form a pyramid with grace, making it look easy. If this was a competition, we would’ve nailed it. I actually feel something that I haven’t felt before at Montlake as we clap our hands in unison. It has to be school pride.
We keep running through the cheers like professionals as Ms. Petrenko beams at us while clapping her hands to the beat. An idle thought barges into my tranquil mind, and I wonder if Ms. Petrenko said something to the girls after I begged her not to tell. I ignore my paranoia, because Ms. Petrenko would need a solid pedigree to keep these bitches in line.
Jacob is on the far field, and I can’t help glancing at him while he runs back and forth practicing his drills. The weather is unseasonably warm and most of the guys have taken off their shirts including him. I bite my lip, looking at his body, and my body gives me a nudge. I’m not the only girl sneaking peeks, but my eyes always seem to go toward Jacob. He stops to stretch his neck, and lifts his face to the sun. He relaxes for a moment and a wide smile lights up his handsome face. And I reconsider going to homecoming.
From the corner of my eye, I catch Jacob looking in my direction, and when I glance at him, he continues to stare at me openly. He doesn’t care if anyone knows he’s watching me and I blush, knowing that my breasts are bouncing as I hop-skip to the right and then to the left. I twirl around, my skirt lifting up, showing off my ass. Turning to the side, I place my hands on my hips, and tilt my head so my hair hangs over my eyes. I smile at him again and he smiles back, walking away.
When I turn around, Arielle is glaring at me like I should know better by now. She sidles up next to me as Ms. Petrenko shows another girl a complicated step.
“You’re really dumb. Aren’t you?”
“Why should you complain? Lucas barely talks to me anymore.”
“Not that you had anything to do with that. But I guess he’d rather not be seen with someone so easy.”
“What is your problem?” I hiss.
“You are my problem.” Arielle smiles as Ms. Petrenko looks over, then turns away. “We warned you, trash. You’re just the village bicycle, and everybody gets a ride.”
Ms. Petrenko looks over again and calls us back in line to start the routine again.
“It’s so great to see you all working together as a team,” she smiles at us.
Arielle laughs, tossing her hair. “We’re the best squad around.”
“That you are.” Ms. Petrenko is oblivious to the tension. She smiles as she wishes us all a good day. “And girls, let’s keep the positive attitude g
oing.”
Lexi lets out a whoop and Cora joins in. Arielle gives me side-eye, knowing that I won’t say a thing. Maybe they don’t know about my meeting with Principal Cromwell. Maybe Lucas’ lack of interest is all I needed for Arielle to back off. There is no way I’m going to homecoming with him anyway. He likes to sneak, but he won’t put his neck out for me. It’s so lame. I don’t stick around after practice. When it ends, I don’t change. I run to my car and drive home like the devil is snapping at my heels.
***
Phil’s working late tonight, and I tell Mrs. Merrett that I’ll get something to eat by myself. She looks alarmed, like I just cussed at her. Phil hired Mrs. Merrett after my run-in with Cromwell. Cromwell implied that there was trouble at an off-campus party, but he covered Troy’s involvement. Not sure if that was legal, but he did it anyway.