“I cannot believe that everything that was so wonderful and loving between us has come to this. Hunter, all I ask is that you think back on the days before all of this happened. Think back to the times when you and I were happy, safe in the knowledge that we would one day be man and wife.”
“Until you chose to change it.”
“I made a mistake, Hunter. I cannot deny that, nor would I seek to. I made a foolish, dreadful mistake, and for that, I apologize. But please do not let that ruin the rest of our lives. We have been given an opportunity to put things right again.”
“An opportunity? You see your husband’s death as an opportunity?” Hunter shook his head bitterly. “But perhaps that is in keeping with the marriage you chose to make. After all, was that not merely an opportunity to an ambitious young woman like you?”
“That you would insult me, Hunter, hurts me more than I can say.”
“Forgive me; I should not have spoken so. But Felicity, you must understand that the words I speak come straight from my heart.”
“Hearts can heal, Hunter. Hearts can heal, and they can forgive, especially a heart like yours,” she said, her voice gently pleading. “I beg you, please at least consider it.”
“Consider what, precisely?”
“Consider waiting for me, Hunter. Consider the love we once had and consent to wait these twelve months until my period of mourning is over, and I am free to marry again.”
“You really mean it; you really expect that I will marry you twelve months from now,” Hunter said in disbelief.
“I shall not give up on you, Hunter. I made a mistake, but all is not lost. I did not, for a moment, ever stop loving you. If anything, my stupidity has shown me that I love you even more than I had ever imagined. In truth, I think I cannot live without you. We are meant to be together, Hunter, we always were. Do not answer me yet, for the thing must be thought through. But promise me you will think back to the love we once shared and the dreams we once held onto, and think only of those. Do not think of what happened in between. Just think of what was and what might be again and then come to me; come to me and tell me that you love me still, that you and I will be together as we always should have been.”
“I shall leave you now, Felicity,” Hunter said with a bow.
“But please do not go without at least telling me that you will think on it,” she said, her voice thick with emotion.
“I shall think on it,” Hunter said and turned to solemnly make his way back to the carriage.
In the event, he had given Algernon every syllable of the exchange which had taken place between him and Felicity that day. Algernon had sat in stunned silence throughout the entire thing, and Hunter lightly amused himself, albeit inappropriately, that it was the longest he had known his cousin to go without speaking.
“Good Lord,” Algernon said finally after downing his sherry in one tremendous gulp. “Good Lord,” he repeated and rose to pour himself another.
“Yes, most unexpected.”
“As stunned as I am, at her words, at any rate, I am not at all surprised by the sentiment. I must tell you, Cousin that the moment I heard of the sad demise of the Duke of Galcross, I knew what was coming. I knew that she would look to you once again.”
“But she does not need my protection, even when the Duchy goes to the nearest male heir. She will still be the Dowager, she will still be provided for. She does not need me.”
“So, you have it in your head that she wants you but does not need you. But I would tell it differently, Cousin. That woman needs you because she could not possibly be alone. She could not be a widow so young and forego so much in life. Please do not be led to believe that she really does love you as she claims to, for I would not believe it.”
“I know you do not like her, Algernon, and I do not blame you for that.”
“Please tell me you are not considering it.” Algernon looked dumbfounded.
“And what do you think I should do?”
“I think you should marry Emmeline Fitzgerald. I think you should continue with your original plan, albeit I think you should make a few alterations to the original sketches, as it were.”
“What alterations?”
“I think it would be prudent, even fortuitous if you dispense with the idea of a marriage of convenience. It is slowly becoming clear to me, Cousin that your feeling for Miss Fitzgerald would lend itself to anything but such a convenient marriage.”
“Then you have perceived my regard for her?”
“Oh yes, I have indeed perceived it. I perceived it many weeks ago and have been waiting for you to catch up with me.” Algernon laughed, and Hunter was grateful for it. It seemed to break the tension of the moment between them. “I really do think you must forget any ideas of Felicity. That young woman’s vanity rides as high as ever it did, and it galls me to think that even now, even at this moment, she is somewhere quite content in the knowledge that she has you on a piece of string, Hunter.”
“She does not have me on a piece of string, not for a moment. I realize that my regard for her was nothing as it once was. In truth, I realize how little that lady and I have in common.”
“And why do you suppose that is?”
“As you very well know, Algernon, it is because I have realized how much I do have in common with Emmeline Fitzgerald.”
“Then why do you look so very forlorn? Why do you look as if you are being led to the gallows, my dear fellow if you already know the direction in which your heart would wish to take you?”
“Because I am afraid that Emmeline Fitzgerald does not hold me in the same regard. And not only that, but she has already received an offer of marriage from somebody else. She has not mentioned it, not to me at any rate. And she has yet to give the man her answer. So, you see, I cannot necessarily dismiss the idea of Felicity altogether, can I?”
Chapter 20
Emmeline had heard nothing from Hunter since the day of the funeral. When he had returned to the carriage, his face somber, and his eyebrows dipped low in thought, Emmeline had known better than to attempt any sort of conversation. Even if she had tried it, she would not have known what to say.
When his carriage had drawn up outside Tarlton Manor, he politely declined her mother’s offer of tea. Without even making any excuse of any kind, he disappeared off into the gloom of an early autumn day.
“I know I have said it already, but you must not worry. All will be well, Emmeline, I know it will.” Her mother had taken her hand and led her back into the house that was, for the time being at least, still their home.
It was a mercy to her that Kent Fitzgerald had been absent for some days, and it seemed likely that he would be for several more to come. The idea of suffering his dreadful company, not to mention his advances, when she felt so very low about Hunter, was appalling to her.
Of course, she knew she ought really to explain things to her mother, to tell her of his strange suggestion and the actions which always made her feel so uncomfortable. If she did, her mother would no doubt lend her support in demanding that, whilst they were still in their period of grace, her cousin should stay at the inn when he was in the county.
However, everything seemed to be so uncertain of late that she did not wish to add to it by upsetting her mother. She also did not want to present her mother with another saviour, should Hunter Bentley abandon her altogether. Faced with a plan which might see Emmeline, Rose, and their mother remain at Tarlton Manor, she knew it would feel dreadful to tell them that she could not do it. She could not marry Kent Fitzgerald even to save them, any of them. In the end, she decided it best not to mention it at all. She would suffer Kent Fitzgerald for as long as she had to and then suffer him no more when they were, finally, in whatever poor lodgings they eventually found.
Of course, it was not utterly decided that she and her family would end in such a way. After all, Hunter had not told her that he had changed his plans in any way. But Hunter had not told her anything at all, had not
made any contact in the four days since the funeral of the Duke of Galcross.
As much as it hurt, she almost craved the details of that dreadful meeting between Hunter and Felicity. If he had made her some promise, she wanted to know now. She did not want to dwell in hope, and she did not want to hide from her feelings of unrest as she had done towards the end of her time with Christopher Lennox.
Instead, Emmeline wanted to face it, to deal with whatever was coming. Time was short for her and her family, and she had to be practical; she had to squash down her feelings of fear. She knew it was going to hurt; it could do no other given the state of her heart and the depth of her feeling for Hunter Bentley. But, at the same time, she could not float this way and that, perhaps a victim, perhaps not. She needed to know.
And so it was that Emmeline, claiming to be simply going out for a ride, made her way alone across this short stretch of countryside between Tarlton Manor and Addison Hall. She had decided to do the very thing that both she and Hunter had done all along. She would speak her mind openly and ask that he do the same. There would be no lies between them, no hiding. Whatever was to come was to come, and she would ask him to be forthright and give her his intentions on the spot.
However, whatever confidence and determination had driven her to ride out that far, it seemed to desert her entirely when she drew her horse up outside Addison Hall. She sat unmoving for some minutes staring up at so many windows, at so vast a building. In the end, it had been the approach of one of the stable hands which had forced her to make her move.
He helped her down from her horse and led the placid creature away to the stables. She began to approach the front entrance of the hall with the greatest of trepidation and would have turned back had the Butler, his customary smile in place, not appeared suddenly to greet her.
“Miss Fitzgerald, do come in,” he said with a smile and ushered her into the entrance hall. “If you would wait for a moment, I shall seek out His Lordship and let him know that you are here.”
“Thank you kindly,” Emmeline said with a smile, all the while her heart racing.
The butler returned in no time at all and led her through the great corridor, across the glorious, gleaming chequerboard marble floor, to the drawing room.
“Emmeline, how nice to see you,” Hunter said.
He was already on his feet when she arrived in the drawing room, clearly waiting for her. She studied him for some moments, trying to gauge if he really was as pleased to see her as his words might suggest.
“Your mother is not here with you? Your sister?” He went on when she did not speak.
“Forgive me, Sir, but I have come alone. I had not told anybody I was coming, and I am sorry that we had no prior arrangement. I do hope that I am not intruding on you in any way.” Emmeline realized that her voice held a certain formality, a formality that had not existed between them previously, not even in the earliest stages of their acquaintance.
“You do not need a reason to come to me,” he said in a low voice. “We have always had honesty between us, have we not?”
“Yes, I believe so,” Emmeline spoke in a non-committal fashion.
“Please, do take a seat. I shall ring the bell for tea.”
“Please, do not go to any lengths; I would not wish it. In truth, I appreciate that you might well not be inclined to talk for long, and I do not expect it. All that I ask is for honesty, absolute honesty if you would grant it.”
“Of course I shall; I would not lie to you.”
“And I shall not skirt about the issue which has brought me here, Hunter. I shall not make you guess what it is I have come to ask, nor seek to manipulate you in any way.”
“I know you well enough to know that you would not do such a thing, Emmeline. Please, do tell me what it is that troubles you.” He smiled at her, a look of concern on his face.
Hunter looked as immaculate as always, wearing black breeches and tailcoat with a fawn waistcoat and white shirt. His hair seemed blacker than ever and his eyes as appealing as ever they had been, if not more so. In truth, she thought she had never seen him look so handsome and wondered if it were not simply the idea that she was, at any moment, to lose him forever that had forced her to look at him in such a manner.
As she regarded him, she regarded him closely as if she might never see him again. She wanted to commit him to memory, his handsome face, his neatly clipped dark beard with flecks of gray, and his mesmerizing eyes. She wanted to remember every detail of the man she had come to love more than any other; she did not want to forget a single thing. However heartbreaking it would be, whatever pain was due her at any moment, still she wanted to remember him exactly as he was in that moment.
“I must admit to you that these last days have seemed interminably long for me. Ever since the unfortunate passing of the Duke of Galcross and his subsequent funeral, I have felt myself suffering the greatest uncertainty.”
“Uncertainty?” he said and, despite his look of confusion, Emmeline knew that he perceived her meaning entirely.
“Forgive me, Sir, but I would appreciate honesty.” She could not help the agitation in her voice.
“Perhaps it is I who should beg forgiveness, Emmeline. I had promised you honesty, and I know the source of your uncertainty. It would be foolish of me to continue in such a facade and ask you to spell it out. You are concerned, now that Felicity’s husband has died, that I would be tempted to marry her instead of you, despite the agreement that you and I made between us.”
“Yes, that is my concern, Hunter,” Emmeline said with a throat that was so dry she wished she had not turned down the offer of tea. “And whilst I would not wish to intrude upon your feelings, which must be immense at this time, I cannot simply blow along like a leaf on a breeze. You must understand that there is a good deal of uncertainty in my life, uncertainty in almost every regard. And you must forgive me for my bluntness, for this is not the behaviour that I would wish for myself, you must believe me.”
“There is nothing in your behaviour that you should reproach yourself for, Emmeline. There was an agreement between us, and you have every right to question it openly. You have every right to question it with the forthrightness of the spirit in which the agreement was made.” He spoke sadly as if the idea of a loveless marriage no longer appealed to him.
Emmeline feared the worst, certain that he was about to tell her that he could not marry her after all. If only she could tell him of her feelings, of how deeply she loved him, but she knew she could not. If she did that, she would surely drive him straight into the arms of Felicity. After all, if he was to suffer love in any form, it might just as well be with his old love as with her.
“Then I have a question that I must ask you, Hunter.”
“Please do.”
“Is it your intention to marry the Duchess of Galcross when her period of mourning is over?” Emmeline looked down, unable to meet his gaze not only for shame but for the extraordinary jolt of pain her own words had given her.
To hear it out loud was almost insufferable, to hear the words spoken, to almost bring to life the idea that he truly would marry Felicity, was all too much.
“It is true that Felicity Burton held me back from my carriage on the day of the funeral for the reason you suggest. I shall not lie to you but tell you that she told me she had made a grave mistake in turning away from me and marrying the Duke in the first place. And I shall tell you also that she has asked me to consider taking her hand in marriage the moment that her period of mourning is over. She has asked me to think of the thing thoroughly, to examine it from every viewpoint, and to return to her with my answer as soon as I have it.”
“And do you have your answer, Sir?” Emmeline said and looked down at the floor.
If her life depended on it, she could not have looked into his eyes at that moment. She did not want to hear or see his answer, and she did not want him to see how hard she blinked at the tears which were forming and refusing to dissipate.
“Indeed, I do have my answer, although I have not yet given it to her. But I shall tell it to you now, Emmeline because I would wish you to be the first to know it.” He paused for a moment, and Emmeline felt her heart jolt almost painfully. “It is not my intention to marry the Duchess of Galcross; not when her period of mourning is over, not ever.”
Chapter 21
Emmeline had dressed with care that evening, feeling nervous, despite the fact that she had already seen the enormous ballroom at Addison Hall. And yet, regardless of her familiarity with the building, still she felt just a little on the outside of things. Even on that day of all days, the day on which her engagement to the Earl of Addison was to be announced.
Emmeline had, of course, attended many balls in the county since she had come out into society some years before. She had never worried before to such a degree about her appearance, knowing always that her own style was one which was easy to feel comfortable with. Emmeline had always dressed well but without ostentation. It was a style which had served her well and had never once made her feel self-conscious at a society gathering of any kind.
However, now that Emmeline knew from bitter experience what it was like to have all eyes upon her, she was not keen to repeat it. Even though that evening was to be something of a crowning achievement for her, still she knew that there would be those in attendance who had also borne witness to the events of that awful evening of the summer ball at Ashton house. The evening when she had been so thoroughly and publicly humiliated.
No doubt many would wonder at the speed of her engagement, very likely having discussed amongst themselves the idea that the Earl and Emmeline, both jilted by the people they loved, were simply making do with one another. Especially Emmeline, whose fortunes it would be widely known depended upon such a match.
Rose and her mother had helped her greatly with the ideas for her gown for the evening. When they had picked the fabrics, Emmeline had even felt a little excited, thinking that it might be quite nice to be so expensively dressed for the occasion.
A Bride for the Betrayed Earl Page 15