by Debra Holt
“Yes, it is.” Dev smiled and took the backpack from her.
“I’ll be back later this afternoon,” she said to Rio.
He nodded. “I know you will, and I won’t waste a breath arguing with you. Thanks again, Doc.”
The stars were disappearing from the sky overhead as the sun was about to wake up another day. They reached her truck and she took her backpack from him. Opening the back door, she set it inside.
There was another awkward moment of silence.
“Thanks for…”
“Coffee…”
They both spoke in nervous unison. Rissa felt like a gauche schoolgirl standing in front of a boy she really, really liked. And then a blinding moment of panic hit. Flight time.
“It’s late… er, early,” she began, grimacing at her own silly response.
“And coffee won’t take a moment. Might help you stay awake on the road home.” He gave a whistle and Gypsy came bounding down the steps from the porch. She knew her charm was needed to seal the deal. And she poured it on, sidling next to the vet and wagging her whole body in welcome persuasion.
“How can I say no?”
“Exactly. I’ll go put it on. Gypsy can escort you.” Dev’s grin matched Gypsy’s in a human sort of way, and Rissa couldn’t help responding. He was already disappearing inside the house as she straightened from rubbing Gypsy’s ears for her and followed in slower steps.
“You and your human make quite a pair now.” She climbed the front steps, but instead of going inside, she took a seat on the porch swing and settled to watch the strands of pink and yellow light beginning to brighten the horizon. She loved the beginning of a new day, almost as much as the blaze of the setting sunset at the end of one. A deep sigh escaped her, and she allowed the peace to settle around her.
A few minutes passed before she realized that not only the smell of freshly brewed coffee was filtering onto the porch, but also the tantalizing smell of bacon which had an immediate effect on her stomach. What was the man up to inside the house? Before she could rise and find out, Dev came out onto the porch, with a mug in his hand.
“Sorry, it took a bit longer. I also changed my dirty clothing.”
“And didn’t just put on a pot of coffee, if my nose tells me the truth.” She accepted the mug with a smile.
He had the good graces to look just a bit sheepish. “I might have figured you would be amenable after your long night of work to the smell of fresh bacon frying and maybe a batch of biscuits about to come out of the oven. Eggs are ready.”
Dev smelled fresh and sexy and her defenses didn’t move fast enough. When he gave her a slow smile, she felt a sudden urge to snuggle against his solid chest one more time and…
“Coffee… bacon… biscuits,” she said with a smile and shake of the head. “It seems the talents I am discovering about you never cease to surprise. And how could I possibly refuse when my stomach is grumbling louder than a bass drum?”
“Black with plenty of sugar.” He handed over the mug to her. When she arched a brow of inquiry, he explained. “I pay attention whenever we’ve eaten together.”
She took a slow sip and savored the taste. “I needed this. Thank you.”
“Let’s eat before the food gets cold or you fall asleep.” His hand placed lightly at the small of her back brought a smile and a zing of warmth filled her body. She felt bereft when it fell away as they entered the house.
“I need to clean up a bit before I enjoy the food.” Rissa excused herself to the ladies’ room tucked under the staircase.
Soap and water made a bit of difference, and she wished she had a comb with her. Her fingers would have to make do as she reworked her hair into a ponytail.
Dev smiled and held a chair out for her as she entered the kitchen. He had set two places for them at the small table in the alcove of the room.
“I am amazed,” she said as he wasted little time in setting the food on the table.
Gypsy came into the kitchen and settled on her cushion in the corner with a contented sigh.
“Gypsy seems to be just fine now after her run in with the cactus? And you’ve taught her some positive behavior things, also. I knew you two would be good for each other.”
“Yes, she’s turned out to be a pretty good housemate.”
“And these biscuits,” she said, spreading more jam on one. “I’m impressed. But you really didn’t need to go to all this trouble.”
“It wasn’t any trouble. As I mentioned before, it’s nice to have company for meals besides just Gypsy. Our conversations tend to be more one-sided.”
They both laughed.
“I have to admit; I agree with you. It can get old living alone and having meals for one.”
She took a bite of the fresh biscuit. They both ate in silence for a few minutes. Then, she ventured to speak.
“You surprise me. More so, each day. I have to admit I was skeptical about your return. But I always try to admit when I’m wrong.”
He considered her words. “I appreciate that. I had no idea what I was doing when I returned. I guess I thought most people wouldn’t want me around… not after my behavior when I lived here. But, I have to say, that I’ve been surprised. There are still some skeptics… but I had to realize that I didn’t come back to please them. I came back to find who I left behind. Myself, first of all. And then my family. For years, I didn’t have a place… or even my own name. So, I had to cross the first hurdle and that was realizing I could only live each day as I believed was right for me. Then hope that I could be the member of this family that fit… that belonged. I know I won’t get it right… not right away. I know some won’t ever accept me in town… not for at least another forty or fifty years.” He grinned and so did she. “But that’s okay.”
“You believe you’ve found your place? You know who the real Dev Braxton is?” Rissa put the question out there. It was important for both of them.
His gaze was straightforward and did not waver as he met hers. “I believe I know where I belong now… where my home lies. I believe I know what is important to my existence and that there are people in this life that I value more than I do myself. Chance was blessed in that he knew his heart from the beginning… it was this land, this town, and the people he loved. I had to leave in order to find my way back to that fact.”
I had to leave to find my way back. Those words struck a chord inside her. She had to lose almost all in order to find everything. The thought sobered her beyond measure. It also laid the simple truth in front of her. This man seated across from her, this was Dev Braxton, the real deal. He was the man her heart had always searched for but never believed she would find. There was still a scar she needed to rip from inside her.
“Thank you for giving me that file. As much as it hurt to open up things I had buried, it also gave me a sense of relief and closure.”
Dev poured them both more coffee. “Tell me about the Tony you knew.”
His request was unexpected. Rissa was caught off guard by it. But somehow, it was as if he read her mind and gave her permission to use him to make any of the remaining demons go away. “If you’ll tell me about the Tony you knew.”
He sat back in his chair and waited until she was ready.
She took a sip of her coffee and gathered her thoughts. “I guess I didn’t really know Tony since you tell me he had a different name. And a whole different life than I knew about. But the man I met at a chamber of commerce barbecue was very mannerly, considerate, amusing, good dresser, and he knew just what to say and do. I felt special because of his attention. I mistook a lot of feelings about him.
“But when I look back, I can remember times that some word or phrase, a look, just little things here and there… it was like a mask slipped and I saw something else for a split second. But then I explained it away to myself that it was just silly. It was my imagination because I had no experience with darkness in my life… the sort of darkness that he was capable of. I only wish I had been
wise enough to listen to my instinct and not a foolish woman’s romantic fantasies.”
“Everyone would be wiser to do just that, listen to the little voice inside our heads instead of a muscle in our chests,” he said, his gaze holding only empathy. “I wish I could say that there was a good and decent man underneath that polished exterior that he represented to the world. That you were correct to care about him. But he was just another criminal who made money hooking school kids and others on drugs that ruined their lives and even took the life away from some of them. And it was all done out of greed. He was a true sociopath. I just wish I had known about you at that time. I would have tried to save you from the broken heart part of it all. You didn’t deserve that. But none of what he was about, or whatever he did, was anything to do with you. I hope you can believe that above all else.”
“I’m trying. I thought all of the things associated with Tony were in the past. Until you showed up with the news of who and what you really did. All the while, the town just wrote you off as the black sheep Braxton, who gave little care to what others thought or needed. I know I was guilty of that. And I want to apologize for all the bad thoughts I had about you.”
“Bad thoughts?” He gave a small smile at those words. “I don’t think I’ll ask for details on that one. I’m sorry, too… for you getting mixed up in the fallout that hurt your scholarship chances. And then later, for ruining your wedding plans. Although, I can’t say I truly do have regrets about that one. You deserve a groom and a wedding that will be all you could ever want. You deserve a good man with a good heart to make you happy.”
His words touched her heart and as simple as the words he had spoken, there was a simple truth left in their wake. The man sitting across from her had somehow become so much more. Her heart had claimed him. Only she was afraid it was headed for heartbreak once again. She might have waited too long. Another woman might have been smarter in seeing the man for who he really was. So, what did she do in situations like this? She stood. Walls clanging into place around her emotions. She caught him by surprise with her need for air.
“It’s late… or early,” she stammered like an idiot. “Whatever it is, I’m getting ready to crash so I need to get home and take a nap so I can get something done this afternoon. Thanks for this breakfast… it really was a very nice surprise, and much appreciated. And your help in delivering a beautiful baby into this world… makes you pretty special in my book.” She bent down to share some love with Gypsy, and that took her gaze away from his searching one. The last thing she needed was for him to figure out the truth that had to be written all over her face.
“Bye, sweet one. Take care of everything around here.”
Okay. Graceful exit… not so much. Rissa berated herself all the way home. How could she have been so blind, so stupid? A perfectly good man had come into her life and she had managed to push him away and into the path of someone else who certainly wasn’t as blind as she had been. Miss Rodeo was a whole lot smarter… and pretty and petite and just awesome probably at everything. And she was back to having a pity party of one! Get over it!
What was wrong with her? She found she actually could hope Dev had found happiness… even if not in her direction. He deserved it. And maybe this was her learning another hard lesson?
The night they had spent together came back in vivid detail. So they hadn’t actually spent the night together, not in true couple sense. And why was she talking to herself like that? They hadn’t made love. And she didn’t want to think about that scenario being played out with the blonde. It would have probably been a different outcome.
But still… there were moments between herself and Dev, including last night and during the impromptu breakfast that she felt an undeniable connection. And she believed he felt it, too. So why was she so determined to give up? Why wouldn’t she want to fight for the man she loved? Loved. There it was. The crux of the matter.
*
The day had been a long one. The heat was a hot blanket over everything, and the breeze was almost nonexistent. Chance and Rio drove up to the holding pens just as Dev had dismounted and reached to uncinch his saddle. He grabbed the blanket and saddle off his mount and carried them over to the long trailer where others were stowing equipment. Once he had that completed, he pushed the hat back, wiping his forehead on the sleeve of his work shirt.
“We thought you might be ready for a cold one on a day like today,” Chance said, opening the cooler he and Rio had unloaded from the back of his truck.
The pens were empty, the horses being moved to fresh pastures in another area of the ranch. The hands would be taking their mounts back to the stables in the long trailers waiting for them. They all deserved a break.
Dev grabbed a drink and joined Rio and Chance situated on some boulders in the shade of a couple of oak trees. “Thanks, guys. Your timing is perfect. You managed to miss the actual work, but you did bring cold cervezas.”
Rio nodded. “My momma always said to work smart. I figure this counts.” He grinned and took a sip of the drink.
“Your mother sounds like quite a lady,” Chance said, taking another long swig of cold drink. “I’ve noticed how you speak of her. It would have been an honor to meet her.”
Rio nodded. Dev could tell the words meant a good deal more than Rio would comment upon.
He turned his gaze to the far stretch of hills. “I think we three have more in common than the same father and blood running through our veins. We were lucky enough to have been brought up by mothers who gave us all the love and lessons in life that we needed to get us to this point. And I think we’re doubly lucky to have found life partners that are of the same cloth as they were.” Rio’s gaze met Dev’s when he turned his attention back to where they sat.
Dev nodded, but remained silent… sliding into inner thoughts.
“We would have been here sooner,” Chance said, speaking up to change the timbre of the conversation. “But the controlled burn over in the east fields wasn’t so controlled at one point. We did get a couple hundred extra acres cleared due to it. All in all, it’s been a productive day.”
“I’ll agree with that.” Rio looked over at Dev. Then back to Chance, with a shrug.
“We’re changing our minds. I need you to move those horses back to the south pasture in the morning. And we’re going to start goat herding in the north pastures. Goat milk should make a killing on the local market.”
Dev took another sip of his drink, his gaze on the toe of his boot.
“Yep, he’s got time to learn all about goat ranching.” Rio nodded.
A frown creased Dev’s forehead. He looked over at the two men who were watching him back. “North pasture? Goats? Are you crazy? We just—” He stopped. “Glad I can amuse you.”
“You made it easy,” Chance said. “Even a blind man could figure out your brain has not been in the saddle the last couple of days. At least not all of it.”
“You seem to be working on some problem. Anything a couple more brains might help with?” Rio asked. “You thinking on making any changes? Like moving down the road?”
Dev came back to the present and looked at both his brothers. “I’m not planning on it. I guess there’s something of a rancher in my DNA, after all. So, I guess I’ll just have to get used to being the brunt of your jokes.”
Chance threw back his head and laughed outright.
Rio’s face creased into a grin and shook his head. “Glad to hear it,” he said. “It’d be plumb boring around here if we didn’t have you to kid with now and then.”
“I don’t think it’s going to be boring around here anytime soon,” Chance said.
Pushing up from his seat on the boulder, he met Dev’s gaze and he put out his hand. Dev hesitated at first, but then placed his out. They shook.
“In case I haven’t said it before… glad you found your way home, little brother. We’ve missed you.” Then Chance pulled Dev up to stand on his feet. Rio joined them and he offered his hand ne
xt. Dev took it.
“I’ve never regretted finding my way here. Especially since I’ve ended up with two good men I’m proud to call family. Now, let’s get moving home.”
Twenty minutes later, with Dev behind the wheel of the truck, the three of them headed into the barns as the sun began setting. Chance and Rio had been trading some advice from one seasoned father to someone about to be one in a few months. Dev listened for a while and then his mind wandered, and their voices became background noise.
He wondered what Rissa was doing at that moment. What would it be like to pull up at the ranch house and have her waiting on the porch for him? Maybe they’d sit in the swing and watch the sunset… and he’d get in a few sweet kisses… and…
“Hmmm, it must be a woman.” Rio’s raised voice broke into his daydream. “Or maybe two of them? I’ve experienced those same symptoms before when I met a lady named Dee.”
“Two?” Dev looked at him as if he had been out in the sun too long. “Where’d you get that idea?”
“One blonde and one brunette. One too many.” Chance nodded.
“There’s no blonde.” Dev shook his head. “Where’d you get that idea?”
“Noel Peters and you seem pretty friendly. You two knew each other in your other life. Folks might put those things together and come out with such an idea.”
Chance agreed. “And you and Doc seemed to be pretty close. But maybe she saw that you and Noel have something going and decided she didn’t want to get in the middle of that. You never know what a woman might be thinking. They figure things a bit different from us.”
Dev looked at his oldest brother. “You think Rissa has this ridiculous idea in her head, too? About me and Noel?”
“It’s always possible.”
“Well, I hadn’t considered that before. But there isn’t anything between Noel and me but friendship.”
“But you want something between you and Doc.” Rio made more of a statement than question. “Then you better make things clear to her. Chance is right. Female minds once they get something stuck in them… awfully hard to change them.”