“What about the other forty-six?”
“Forty-seven. Fifty counts of Badness on my record. Easy number to remember.” Marrok untwisted the top of the bottle and inserted a tightly wound rope of paper towels.
“Don’t worry. After I take the crown from Cindy’s head, I’ll make sure you get a pardon.” She promised.
“Last time I checked, a crown was also attached to a certain dickhead in tights. You planning to take him for yourself, too?” Hopefully not, since Marrok would be dead in the ground before he let that royal ass-wipe touch his True Love.
“I can handle Charming.” She assured him.
“The guy has the IQ of a banana, so I’m sure you can handle him, but…”
“He does not!” She interrupted hotly. “Charming is a sensitive and intelligent man. He’s very interested in villains’ rights and other social justice issues.”
Marrok edged into the hallway. “He told you that?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact he did. Many times.”
“Then, he was trying to get laid.”
“Oh, he was not. He’s very sincere about…”
Marrok cut her off. “…about getting laid. While you were explaining your crackpot theories, I’ll bet sincerity was coming out of his ass. Trust me, he was mindlessly nodding and picturing you naked.” At the other end of the corridor, he could see Avenant waiting with Benji. Marrok gave a signal and he swore he could hear the Prince of the Northlands sighing from twenty feet away.
Showtime.
“Oh no.” Avenant called in the worst acting performance since what’s-his-face the giant had starred in the WUB Club’s production of Cats last fall. “Someone come quickly. This poor blue ogre is dying.”
Benji obediently toppled to the floor, clutching his stomach and groaning. “Ow. The pain. I’m dying.”
“Oh for God’s sake.” Scarlett muttered. “We should have practiced this part more.”
Marrok had to agree. He rolled his eyes as Esmeralda entered stage left, still disguised as Ramona.
“Stay calm!” She bellowed to no one in particular and posed for maximum dramatic effect. “I’m a doctor!”
“You’re a psychiatrist.” Avenant corrected sourly.
“That’s a doctor!”
“Not a real doctor.”
“Then why am I called Doctor Ramona, wiseass?”
“Still dying.” Benji prompted.
“Shit. Sorry. Right.” Esmeralda got back on script and crouched down beside him. “Oh no! He’s dying!” She laid one palm on Benji’s torso and the other against her forehead in tragic repose. “I cannot bear to see my patient suffer like this. We must rush him to the infirmary. Guards!” She looked up at the camera over the security office door. “Come quickly and help me carry him. We haven’t a moment to lose!”
“He’s dying.” Avenant reiterated in case they’d missed the point.
“Dyyyyying.” Benji wailed, getting into the spirit of the show. “Help me! Help!”
Thankfully, the WUB Club didn’t employ rocket scientists. The door to the security office opened and one of Dr. White’s dwarf henchmen came out. “Are you sure he’s not faking it, Dr. Ramona? A lot of times these fellas play sick in order to get a few days rest in bed.”
“I think I know when someone faking an illness.” Esmeralda scoffed. “I’m a doctor.”
“Psychiatrist.” Avenant corrected, even as he covertly used his foot to block the office door from closing. “Are there any other guards in the office that can help carry the ogre?”
Letty had insisted that they ask that. The woman was adorable.
“No. Just me.” The dwarf looked a tiny bit intimidated by that fact.
Avenant gave Marrok a thumbs-up sign.
“Finally.” Marrok flicked Ramona’s stolen lighter, creating a small flame. “Next time we escape a loony bin, Red, we do without the amateurs.” He lit the paper towel wick and moved purposefully down the hallway.
The guard was now gamely trying to heft up a portion of Benji’s massive body weight, while Avenant criticized his lifting methods and Esmeralda listed reasons why psychiatrists actually saved more lives than useless medical doctors. Benji himself had gone limp, his giant body all akimbo as he continued to wail.
The dwarf never saw Marrok grab the handle of the open office door and lob the makeshift Molotov cocktail inside. It took less than a second. Marrok kept walking as the door swung shut, his pace never faltering as he executed a neat U-turn and rejoined Scarlett.
Avenant moved closer to Esmeralda and away from the door.
Benji squeezed his eyes shut.
Wham!
The explosion blew the door right off its hinges. Trapped inside the security office, the blast was contained, but it effectively destroyed all the computer backups and surveillance equipment in the WUB Club.
Scarlett used Marrok’s arm for support and gave a bounce of delight as all the evidence of Ramona’s attack burned. “We did it!” She whispered loudly.
Marrok glanced down at her and realized having a Good girl for his True Love wasn’t completely bad news. No Baddie could ever smile with that much joy. “Go team.” He drawled.
The guard was hopping around ineffectually trying to put out the fire with his stupid hat.
“I’m feeling better.” Benji declared and sat up. “It must have been something I ate.”
“Thank God I was here to save you.” Esmeralda helped him to his feet. “Now, tell me about your mother.”
The guard took off, yelling for someone to bring a fire extinguisher.
“There’s no way we’re going to get away with this.” Avenant reported, looking Marrok’s way as he and Scarlett moved out into the open. “When questioned, I’ll be explaining that you forced me into this idiocy at gunpoint.”
“If I had a gun, you wouldn’t be alive to explain anything.” Marrok assured him. “Now stop being a pussy and accept the fact that my plan worked.” He gestured towards the smoldering office. “Maybe they are gonna figure out who torched the joint, but by that time we’ll be long gone.”
Or at least Marrok and Scarlett would be. He didn’t care what happened to the rest of the Tuesday share circle, regardless of what his den mother of a True Love had in mind.
“Besides, it wasn’t like we had a lot of time to come up with a better idea, Avenant.” Scarlett pointed out, in what Marrok thought was promising show of solidarity. “That tape would incriminate us all. We had to get rid of it fast.”
“Exactly.” Marrok nodded. “Now, the video surveillance is taken care of and we’re in the clear. That’s the only…”
A voice came over the intercom, cutting him off: “Marrok Wolf report to Dr. White’s office immediately. Marrok Wolf report immediately to Dr. White.”
Marrok sighed. “Aw… fuck.”
Scarlett looked up at him in horror.
Avenant instantly headed for the arts and crafts room. “I was never here.”
“Marrok, what are we going to do?” Scarlett demanded, wide eyed.
“I’m gonna report to Dr. White and you’re not going to do anything until I get back.” The last thing he needed was Scarlett coming up with the next step of her escape without the proper evil guidance.
“What if she somehow knows you just set that fire?” She pointed to the burning office in horror. “What else could she want from you?”
He didn’t even want to think about it…
Chapter Four
Marrok, like most wolves, scores extremely high on the “loyalty potential” portions of his mental testing. With training, he could be taught to heed commands and follow orders. Unfortunately, he resists all efforts to properly channel his impulses. At this point, he gives his allegiance to no one.
Psychiatric case notes of Dr. Ramona Fae
“How would you like to get out of here?” Dr. Snow White leaned across her desk and smiled like she was prepared to sell him some magic beans.
Marrok settled into
an uncomfortable office chair and tried not to scoff at the out-of-the-blue offer. “Wow, you really think I’m rehabilitated? I have been feeling a lot more in touch with my inner child, but I thought release was still a ways off.”
“Don’t try to bullshit me, Wolf.”
Snow White looked like a china doll, but she hadn’t enslaved the dwarves through her charms. She was tough as nails and always seeking ways to acquire more power. The walls of her dimly lit office were lined with the heads of various creatures she’d hunted and ripped the hearts out of. Also, there were mirrors. Many, many mirrors.
To Marrok’s way of thinking, the chick was just as crazy as everyone else in the WUB Club, she just hid it behind diplomas and too much lipstick.
“We test the blood of everyone who comes through the door.” She continued, her ruby red lips pursed smugly. “Budgets cuts mean it sometimes takes weeks for us to get the results, but today Scarlett Riding’s came through. Guess the first thing our medical staff saw when they plugged her data into the computer?”
“Knowing that girl, whatever it is I’m betting it wasn’t sexually transmitted.”
“She’s your True Love.” Dr. White smiled as she delivered that news, but there was no humor in it. Just greed. “It popped up on the mystio-physiological screening. We always run those, to make sure True Loves aren’t lodged together. But, I have to say I was surprised to see your name attached to the most notorious ugly stepsister in the Four Kingdoms.”
“She’s not ugly.” Marrok delivered that massive understatement with an admirable amount of equanimity considering his mind was racing. What was this really about?
“But she is notorious.” Dr. White arched a black brow. “If some of the rumors about her family are true, it’s no surprise she’s unrepentantly evil. Blood will tell, after all.”
He had no clue what she was talking about, but it didn’t matter. “Wolves can’t choose their True Loves. Notorious or not, Scarlett is mine.”
A wiser person would’ve heard the warning in that statement, but Good folk always thought they were the smartest people in the room. Dr. White kept talking.
“I know you’re probably feeling… something for the girl.” She waved a hand, dismissing the cornerstone of any wolf’s life like it was a high school crush. “But, Scarlett’s got enemies that go straight up to top. Nothing can save her and you don’t want to get mixed up in her mess. You’re a smart guy, for your kind.”
“Not smart enough, apparently.”
She disregarded that. “And, really… there are True Loves and then there are True Loves.” She flashed him a knowing look. “You’re the most famous wolf alive. You’ve reportedly had princesses in your bed. Women who would ordinarily never let a Baddie touch them, offer huge sums to have you. Surely you had someone… more in mind for your wife.”
Actually, he’d had someone less in mind.
Less wholesome. Less aggravating. Less… Good.
But, there weren’t True Loves and True Loves. To wolves, there was just MINE.
Good folk would never understand that or comprehend the lengths any self-respecting Baddie would go to keep what was theirs. Until Marrok knew where this meeting was headed, though, he was willing to play along with this insanity. His annoying little True Love was being insulted and threatened, two things wolves didn’t take kindly to. Still, he needed to know why Scarlett was so important that the Powers That Be were apparently even willing to let him go free if it meant getting what they wanted from her.
What the hell was Letty mixed up in?
“If I were you,” Dr. White continued, “I’d make the best of this situation and use that girl to get out of here.”
“How could I do that?” Marrok spread his hands as if he was stymied.
“Well, I can help you. I happen to know that her stepsister is very eager to find something Scarlett has. If you were to help us get it back from her…” Dr. White let her voice trail off enticingly.
“Right.” Marrok pretended to ponder the weird offer. “I could do that, I guess. Would it be hidden in her bedroom or…?”
“No, I’ve searched everyplace in the hospital. She has to have it stashed outside somewhere. You need to get her to tell you where it is.”
“Alright. First I need to know what it is, though.”
“A glass slipper.”
Marrok squinted. “Like the glass slipper?”
“Exactly.”
“How did Scarlett get Cinderella’s shoe?”
Better question: Why would she steal used footwear? Why not a golden scepter or something that was worth real cash on the secondary market? Letty wasn’t an idiot, so she had to have a reason, but damn if he knew what it was.
“Who knows how she got her hands on it.” Dr. White shrugged. “Cinderella had the shoe locked up, in preparation for the royal wedding, and somehow Scarlett got through the security. I don’t know how any of you Baddies commit your crimes. Like the rest of your kind, she’s just evil and fiendishly cunning, I suppose.”
Scarlett was the least evil person in the Four Kingdoms. Now that Marrok saw the truth, it shocked him how easily everyone else wrote her off as wicked, ugly and Bad, without noticing she was really idealistic, beautiful and irritatingly virtuous. Even for Good folk that was pretty fucking blind.
And no way had she stolen that shoe. It was way above her criminal skillset. Granted, Letty was clever and scheming, but a successful B&E of the palace…? He could more easily imagine her leading the town’s people on a strike for unionization than ninja-stealthing into a castle to crack a safe.
Something was very wrong here.
The door to Dr. White’s office burst open and Ramona stumbled in. It only took Marrok half a second to know that Esmeralda was no longer driving the good doctor’s face and body.
Now, Scarlett was.
He would know that spiced apple scent anywhere.
Marrok’s eyebrows climbed, trying to figure out how they’d pulled off this new trick. Like some kind of bizarre three card monte game, he supposed it meant that Esmeralda was now disguised as Scarlett and the real Ramona was still in the dungeon disguised as Esmeralda. Letty couldn’t do magic, so there was no spell inhibitor on her ankle to prevent the witch from using a glamor on her, but why had they bothered?
Or rather why had Scarlett bothered, since there was no doubt in his mind whose plan this was. His True Love was the only one in the share circle with the balls to try a stunt like this. Was she worried that he was going to rat out the escape plot? If so, why in the hell would she dig herself in even deeper with this Ramona disguise? What was she up to?
The woman was a fount of new and interesting ideas.
“Dr. White. Hi.” Scarlett/Ramona straightened her lab coat. “Right. Ummm… is everything, okay?” She teetered over to flop down in the chair next to Marrok, as if the length of Ramona’s legs made it difficult for her to balance. The fairy topped Scarlett by at least eight inches, so the new taller body must have been confounding her.
Marrok found himself smiling. “You doing something new with your hair, Ramona? You’re looking a little… different today.”
Scarlett ignored him. “What kind of trouble is he in?” She demanded, still focused Dr. White. “Because, I know that he’s a complete and utter jackass, but… I think he deserves another chance.”
Ohhhh… she was here to protect him.
Despite himself, Marrok’s heart turned over. It was stupid as hell to risk herself to try and help someone like him, but it was just about the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him. She’d apparently been serious about her All For One speech. That was… adorable. Even in her ridiculous Ramona costume, he could think of six hundred different things he wanted to do to her body to say thanks.
Scarlett adjusted her lab coat again and kept up her persuasive speech to Dr. White. “Tossing Marrok in the dungeon at this point in his treatment will just undo all the hard work I’ve put into making him less horrible.”
> “Oh, I don’t mind doing hard, hard work with you, Doc.” Marrok assured her.
The glare was the same, but Ramona’s flat gray eyes lacked the punch-to-the-stomach purity of Scarlett’s crystalline blue gaze. As much fun as it was to torment her about the disguise, he really didn’t like looking at his True Love and not seeing his True Love. He missed the cherubic redheaded scowling at him. Letty’s curvy little body was much more enjoyable to mentally undress.
“Don’t worry, Ramona.” Dr. White said coldly. “Mr. Wolf isn’t in trouble. I was just enlisting his help in finding that damn glass slipper.”
Marrok felt Letty still.
He shot her a lazy smile. “Yeah… It seems that Scarlett’s been holding out on us, Doc. You got any idea where she might have stashed Cindy’s shoe?”
Gray eyes flashed to his again, this time wide and a little scared. “No! No, I have no idea where Scarlett put that slipper. In fact, I’m not convinced she has it, at all.”
“Oh, she has it. The question is how do we get her to talk?” Dr. White drummed her fingernails on the desktop. Each one was painted in silver polish, so they shone like small mirrors. Marrok could see his own image reflected in them like a funhouse. God, that was creepy.
“I can get Scarlett to tell me about the shoe.” He said with just the right amount of arrogance to really piss her off.
Sure enough, Letty’s fear faded into irritation. “I highly doubt that.”
“Oh please.” He rolled his eyes. “You’ve seen how she lusts after me, right? It’ll be simple.”
“I’ve seen nothing of the kind!”
“Mr. Wolf is known for his prowess with women.” Dr. White said with something less than clinical detachment. “That’s why we’re having this little meeting. He’s going to use his legendary abilities for the side of Good. The best looking man in the Four Kingdom’s can certainly fuck on command. It’s the only thing wolves are good for.”
Marrok stared back at her expressionlessly.
Even creepier than Dr. White’s nails and the heartless carcasses on the walls was the way she would leer at him. She entertained herself with the male patients. Marrok knew that and unfortunately her come-ons towards him were getting more and more blatant.
Wicked Ugly Bad (A Kinda Fairytale) Page 5