“What is wrong with you?” I whisper.
Her brow furrows. “Dy-Dyletri?”
Can she hear me? “Ismini, talk to me.”
She whimpers, her little face scrunching up in agony. She tries to speak, but her voice comes out raspy and dry.
“What do you need?” I lean closer, wondering if I should call Vedlyl.
Ismini trembles. She curls into herself, and my chest fucking aches. Impotent rage claws at me, and in turn, I’m damn close to clawing at myself. Just as I’m about to call out for the God of Medicine, she speaks.
“C—cold. So cold.”
Cold? And her skin is abnormally hot to the touch. These are all the earmarks of a normal human fever. Yet Vedlyl keeps denying that it is one.
“Ismini, what is it? Want me to get Vedlyl?” I stand, ready to go and find him.
She reaches out, eyes still closed. Her delicate hand catches my attention. I watch as she seems to search for something.
She wraps her hand around my wrist.
I jerk back, about to pull my wrist out of her grasp, but Ismini’s breathing steadies. She sighs, and her hand tightens around me.
My entire body ignites, and for a few seconds, all I hear is the violent pounding of blood rushing through me.
“Please . . .” She pulls on my arm, trying to bring me closer. “More . . . you . . .”
My eyes widen. Ismini groans, pulling my arm harder. What does she want from me? I notice the way her body shakes beneath the covers, and a sense of foreboding goes through me.
Does she need body heat?
My cock pulses at the mere idea of being pressed up against her.
Shit, I want this luscious girl. Right now, she looks like the most delicious thing in the entire Universe to me.
And I’m supposed to lie next to her, let her near me like that?
Fuck, I just want to come all over her.
Ismini whimpers again, and my decision is made.
If body heat is what she needs, then somehow I’ll give it to her. Even if I end up going to hell in the process. Crius would be happy to have me there anyway.
I ease myself onto the bed, careful to remain above the covers, and raise my energy level. My blood and skin heat up. Once I’m sure my body temperature is high enough, I move closer to Ismini. My heart thunders in time with each wretched centimeter.
She responds immediately, all but crawling on top of me. Her head ends up on my chest, her arm around my waist, and the length of her body pressed against mine.
Knew this would happen.
I force my breathing to stop and fix my gaze on the ceiling. Can’t scent that delicious pussy . . .
Sighing, she rubs her face into my chest. My t-shirt does nothing to hold back the heat of her skin.
Just helping her. I’m just helping her. Just . . . ah, fuck. Ismini moves her leg, and the motion brings her closer to my cock.
Way too close.
Don’t move, Dy. Don’t be an asshole.
Not that it fucking matters. She’s moving enough for the both of us. Getting comfortable. Sliding an arm up my chest. Nuzzling her cheek against an already taut nipple.
My heart—ten times more powerful than a human’s—races faster, each beat sending chaos barreling into my brain. I can’t begin to sift through all the different impulses shooting off at light speed.
My hand itches with the need to grab her, lift her higher, move her even closer. Common sense rails at me, demanding that I get the fuck off this bed. But Ismini seems to be getting what she needs. My body heat must be helping somehow, because she gives another sigh, one full of content.
Heartbeat pounding in my ears, I slowly look down at the girl, and try to ignore the curve of her cheek. The length of those eyelashes. The way her little nose turns up at the end.
You have an issue on your hands, Dy.
No shit.
My hips ache to move. My cock is practically begging to be pressed against her. I have no right to want that, I know. Not after all she’s been through because of my failures. All she will still have to endure because of me.
Despite those thoughts, I can’t pull my gaze away. Her body is hotter than it should be, and it both scares and tempts me. Skin that hot would feel amazing wrapped around my dick.
There’s no way I can stay put another second. I have to try to wake her and see what else will help her. Because Illion knows I can’t keep doing this.
“Ismini, can you hear me?”
Like a content little kitten, the girl smiles and rubs her face into my chest. “Mm-hmm . . .”
By the gods, I can almost imagine her purring for me. An image flashes through my mind. Those plump lips of hers pressed to my ear, her purr vibrating against my skin as she straddles my hips.
A forceful swallow stretches my throat muscles. “Are you still cold?”
Ismini squeezes her arm and leg around me, her thigh inching even closer to my dick. My aching, raging, desperate dick.
This has to be some form of sick punishment.
“Ismi—”
“You make it better.” Her hand fists around the material of my shirt, making me feel like a caged beast.
She’s intertwined herself so thoroughly around me that if I make any sudden moves, I risk jostling her. Or worse, hurting her by flinging her off the bed.
You make it better.
Great. Well, at least she feels better.
My cock pounds to the rhythm of my heart. I’m barely comfortable in jeans when I’m not hard. Now the blood-filled fucker between my thighs is enlarged to its full length. The sensitive flesh presses into the zipper, making me groan under my breath.
She’s right there. Just slide into her. Ease the ache.
My mouth waters. Tingles shoot through my jaw again, sliding into my teeth. I’m reminded of what happened earlier in the alley. The light coming from my veins.
Illion, help me.
The Source isn’t listening to me. I know it’s not.
I let my head fall back as Ismini’s whole body slides against my side, her hips moving, gliding. My hand shoots up to wrap around the headboard.
I have to move. Have to get away. What the flying fuck? Dy, you dickwad, you just had to climb on the bed with her, didn’t you?
Ismini exhales roughly, eyelids fluttering. I wait to see a glimpse of those beautiful eyes so I can—do what? Slide your hand behind her neck. Tilt her face back. Slip your tongue in between those full lips of hers—
Holy. Fuck.
I lose control of my breathing. My chest heaves, dragging her scent in with each ragged inhalation.
One hit and I know I’m not going to be able to stop. In all my existence, I’ve never smelled anything that’s affected me like this. I feel crazed. The urge to bite into something is riding me hard.
“Ismini . . .” My voice is gruff. I shift my arm and grab her shoulder. The moment my hand touches her, she moves again, and her lips brush the skin above my collar.
I moan, eyes squeezing shut as a shudder rips through me.
A moment later, I hear a crack as my fist turns the intricate stone headboard to dust.
It scares the hell out of me.
I’m going to climb on this girl and fuck her if I don’t get away.
I can’t do that to her; can’t break my promise to Dimithinia.
Fear is enough to break the hold my desire has on me. I let go of the headboard. It reforms on its own, as everything does on Enzyria, and I move as carefully as I can while hurrying to extricate myself from her grasp.
She almost follows me. Her eyes dart behind her closed lids and a pained cry leaves her.
Her skin reddens once again.
I shouldn’t find it attractive, but gods damn it, I do. I run my tongue across my teeth, wondering how her flesh would feel between them. My body demands that I get back on that damn bed with her and finish what she unwittingly started.
No. Vedlyl. Get Ved.
Ismini whimpers again, cur
ling into a fetal position. Shaken and confused, I step away from the bed. Putting that distance between us hurts like a motherfucker, but I force myself to take another step. And another.
“Vedlyl, get your ass over here! She needs you!”
CHAPTER 6
ISMINI
T he next few days pass in a fog of darkness punctuated by brief moments of wakefulness. When I finally wake up, I find myself in the most comfortable bed I’ve ever been in. The sheets feel like clouds against my skin.
Not that it’s enough to push back the intense nausea churning in my stomach or my pounding headache.
Blinking, I glance around and try to process what’s around me. The bed is huge and has an ornate, stone canopy with curtains that hang down and move like beautiful smoke. They remind me of the cream-colored dress Nylicia always wears.
I shift and my hand bumps into something next to me. One turn of my head brings me face to face with my sock monkey.
No, this isn’t my sock monkey. Not my old one anyway.
This is a brand new one, sitting next to my pillow and smiling down at me with his big, red mouth. On the nightstand, I spot my favorite sweater, a picture frame holding a snapshot of Evesse, Soleria and myself, and my favorite books, among a few other things.
I don’t remember much of the previous few days, but I do remember one thing—Dyletri brought all of that for me.
He picked up my most treasured things and brought them back from my apartment. Except for the sock monkey. Apparently, he decided to get me a new one and then left it on the bed for me to find.
But why? Why did he do it?
I move to sit up and fail. The effort alone almost makes me lose consciousness again. Fuck, I can barely breathe. The need to throw up is overwhelming.
The room keeps spinning as I continue taking slow, deep breaths. I’m beginning to feel somewhat centered again, relief almost in sight, until I hear hushed voices speaking somewhere off to my left.
“Tell me the truth. What’s wrong with her, Vedlyl?”
“I can’t tell you that, Dyletri. Nylicia—”
“I am sick of Nylicia’s interfering!”
“She does what she must. You know that.”
“So you’re saying that whatever is happening to the girl intertwines with my destiny so much that you can’t fucking tell me what’s wrong with her?”
Dyletri sounds completely pissed off, and I hear the one that must be Vedlyl shushing him. “Don’t wake her. She is in enough agony as it is. And yes. That is exactly why I cannot tell you.”
“Nylicia promised the girl would live long enough for us to bring Dimithinia back. So why do I doubt all of this right now?”
“If it is your destiny to bring back Dimithinia, then it shall be so.”
“I have to bring her back. You know this.”
Something breaks inside me. Something that goes beyond the emotional. I can’t hold back my anguished whimper as I hear someone stomping away. I struggle to fight back another sob just as a tall, hulk of a man comes into view. He’s so blond that his short, wavy hair is almost white like Dyletri’s.
His aquamarine and hazel eyes are so bright they border on neon. His pupils are a deep blue that flashes to yellow and back again as he stares at me. He pushes back the curtains and sits gently on the bed.
“Relax. We’re trying to help you.” His voice is soothing and hypnotic. “I am the God of Medicine. I swear to you, I will do everything in my power to ease your discomfort. You’re not the first patient I’ve had with this condition. Nor the worst.”
I swallow, trying to speak, right before a very familiar voice startles me.
“Is he gone?”
Vedlyl turns to look over his shoulder. “Yes.”
I squint at the shimmery, transparent figure behind Vedlyl in disbelief. “Ny-Nylicia? How are you here?”
True, Nylicia is more like a hologram than anything else, but the fact that I’m seeing her outside of my dreams shocks me. She appears tinier than ever as she approaches Vedlyl’s huge form. “It takes a lot more energy for me to manifest in this world, but I’m here. We’re going to help you.”
She stops next to me and leans down to place a hand on my forehead, then apparently thinks better of it. Her rainbow eyes flash red. I flinch when a low, inhuman growl rumbles from Nylicia’s throat and her irises darken to pure black.
“Seeing you like this kills me, Ismini. I never wanted to see another woman, especially one I care about, in the same situation as me.” She sighs. “But even I can’t change this.”
Vedlyl focuses on Nylicia, his pupils flashing yellow again. “You said it yourself, the wheels of Destiny are shifting.”
“What . . . what’s happening to me?” I ask.
Nylicia and Vedlyl exchange a look.
“I . . . I am not the controller of Destiny. I’m just the one who watches and guides.”
Vedlyl smirks, his boyish face rueful. “And the one who interferes whenever she sees an opening.”
Nylicia glares at him before turning back to me. “Although I know what Destiny is trying to achieve, I cannot fully confirm it yet.” She pauses and crosses her arms, her expression slightly fearful.
I somehow manage to speak past the lump in my throat. “I won’t tell him, if that’s what you’re afraid of.”
Another look is exchanged between the two beings before me.
Vedlyl shrugs. “If I’m going to lock it inside her and give her the strength to rise from this bed, you’re going to have to tell her, Nylicia. She needs to know.”
Nylicia faces me, her expression reflecting eons of bitterness. “It’s an R’mannev. It’s unbelievably rare when it comes to the gods, so much so that most don’t even know much about it. It has only happened a handful of times between a human and a higher being. And to date, it’s never happened between two humans.
“You’re mated, Ismini. In the most violent sense of the word. But . . . it’s unrequited, as of right now, so it’s becoming a Fieren. A fury. Your soul is turning against you. It’s punishing your body for not being able to ‘attract’ the one you belong to. Eventually it will kill you.”
Her voice is no more than a pain-filled whisper, but her words shoot through me with the swiftness of an arrow.
For a few seconds, all I can do is stare at the canopy overhead. “So . . . even if Dyletri didn’t have to sacrifice me, I’d still be doomed to die anyway.” I can’t bring myself to look at them. Their silence is answer enough. Suddenly, even though it’s painful, I can’t help but laugh at the irony of it all.
Vedlyl shifts, and when I raise my eyes, I find him staring at me sympathetically. “You’re human and therefore weaker, so we’re not certain, but we can try to help you survive. Long enough, at least, for—”
I interrupt him, the bitterness I feel leaking into my tone. “At least until Dyletri gets his sacrifice.”
“Ismini, it is not for certain.”
I shake my head. This changes nothing. I’ve always known that I’m not good enough. The Fieren inside me is merely more proof of that.
Regardless, my purpose remains the same. I’m to help the god I now belong to get back his one true love and keep the Universe safe.
As far as shitty fates go, this one ranks right up there. But it’s a fate I’m determined to face with my head held high.
I lock eyes with Vedlyl. “What do you have to do to ‘push it back,’ as you put it?”
“It’s going to hurt,” he warns me.
I laugh again, unable to stop myself. As if more pain freaking matters at this point. “Just do it. Hurry. I don’t want to spend my last days in this fucking bed. And I sure as hell don’t want Dyletri to know what’s happening to me. His pity is the last thing I need.”
He stands. “Brace yourself.”
Nylicia moves back to make room for him, her face set in furious lines, her small jaw twitching. Up until now, I thought her more than happy to do her part for whatever side of Destiny she’s
playing on. This is clearly not one of those times.
I remember Nylicia saying that she never wanted to see another woman in her situation.
Is she saying that she’s dealing with a Fieren as well? There’s seriously a man out there stupid enough to reject her?
Vedlyl lays his hand on my forehead. Searing sensation surges within me and blocks out all thought. My breath catches on a scream and my entire body arches off the bed.
Through the pain, I hear Vedlyl speaking to Nylicia. “Put up an energy shield. Cover her screams.”
Another wave of fire goes through me. Fear of Dyletri hearing me gives me the strength to stay quiet—to hold it in even though my vision is running red and raw agony, unlike any I’ve ever felt, flows through me over and over again.
Each wave is more brutal than the last. Each hit angrier. I feel whatever is inside me fighting back. Clawing at the bed covers, I bite down on my tongue so hard that I taste blood.
“You must use your own will, Ismini. Command it back. Force it to bow to your will,” Vedlyl says.
“You can do this, Ismini. Trust me, you can.” Nylicia sounds farther away than before.
I focus on all the anger, rage, and bitterness I buried for years and use it to push against the Fieren wailing inside me. It throbs and scorches a path through every vein, cell and molecule in my body.
Suddenly, just as fast as it started, the pain retreats, rushing deep into my heart and settling there. I still ache, but it no longer consumes every inch of me. I breathe in shakily and open my eyes. Hadn’t even realized I closed them.
“Ismini?”
“I’m . . . fine.” I move, realizing that I now have the strength to sit up.
The fire trapped in my heart screams for attention, the pain so acute I almost double over again. At the same time, the ache actually fuels me and makes me that much more determined to best it. Looking up at Nylicia, I realize that she must have gone through this before.
She’s still alive. I think. For some reason, I doubt she’s a ghost, although she resembles one. Which means she’s been going through it for God knows how long.
“How long? How long have you existed like this?” My voice trembles with fury. The goddess before me has been kind to me. I’ve known her through my dreams since I was a child. Not many people ever bothered to be nice to me.
Ryze Series: Books 1 & 2 Page 5