“Why?” I whisper, pissed off when I feel the tears get worse. “Why’d you let her touch you?”
“Eve . . .”
I don’t hear what else he says. Bringing my knees up to my chest, I try to lose my face between them. Blood is trickling out of the corners of my mouth.
Freaky. Downright wrong. Not for the first time, I really fucking wish that I wasn’t mated. Being in love is hard enough, but adding this fucked-up shit to it?
Again, wrong.
Zeniel inhales sharply. “We are . . . we aren’t wrong, you hear me?”
Did I speak out loud?
“It was an accident. She caught me off guard because—”
I continue rocking back and forth, as if that will help. “Why?” I grit out. “How the hell did she catch you off guard? Why?”
“She . . . I felt guilty. I was going to have to tell her that I was mated to you, and I felt bad because I thought it would break her heart.”
The mother of all pathetic, pleading sounds leaves my lips as my own heart breaks.
“Evesse. Please. At least let me get you cleaned up.”
“Please,” I plead, shaking my head and not looking at him. “Please don’t touch me. It hurts. I need you to not touch me.”
CHAPTER 30
ZENIEL
M y R’ma just begged me not to touch her. She sits curled into herself, having nearly buried herself in the wall just to get away from me, and is covered in blood. Her agony is a dark, ruthless presence in the air around me, suffocating me to the point that I can barely breathe.
The sound of her tears cuts me open.
All I want to do is hold her. Apologize. Strip us both naked and take her, drink her, force her to drink me, and give her my entire body until the images in her head are erased by the basic fact of our reality.
I’m hers. I’m mated to her.
And she’s begging me not to touch her.
Fuck my life. Fuck me. What have I done?
She’s bleeding so badly that I can only scent her blood in the air. Nothing else. My incisors throb. My cock does too, aching in a way it never has.
I thought I knew hunger. Thought I knew need. That she’d already pushed me past the point of starvation.
But I was wrong.
I’m wild, on the verge of losing myself to the instincts racking me.
They’re demanding that I force myself on her. Cover her, take her, come inside her over and over, until she’s marked completely and she understands that she owns me.
If I touch her I’m going to hurt her.
I’ve seen Nylicia suffer through many, many episodes like this over the millennia. Her R’mann was never there to touch her, but there was that one time when his scent alone caused a two-month hemorrhage. Because of that, I know what Eve is going through.
What she’s seeing in her head.
“You’re everything to me.” I move closer, watching her as she curls into herself, shaking her head. Her whimpers are killing me, hitting me with equal parts misery and lust. “I belong to you.”
“Then why did you feel bad telling her about me?” Eve yells, crawling away from me as fast as she can.
“It was a mistake. Evesse, stop. You need to stop.”
She isn’t listening to me. She keeps on going until she’s crawled into the corner next to the bathroom. Once there, she curls into herself again, looking exactly like what she is—an injured animal destroyed by pure instinct.
I didn’t mean to, but I did that to her. Me. She hates the fact that she belongs to me and I have no one to blame but myself.
Do something, you fool. Do something.
What? What can I do? I can’t even care for her. If I touch her, she’ll most likely spiral further into the symptoms attacking her. I can’t risk laying a hand on her until those symptoms begin to ease.
It could take fucking days.
How the hell am I supposed to leave her like that for days? The sight of her and all that blood is destroying me. My heart is breaking.
Then do something, you worthless fuck. Help your female.
How? I don’t have my Tranquility powers anymore, and they never really worked on Evesse. I’ve used them many times over the years to help Nylicia, but without them, I can’t even try.
Yes, you can.
The thought goes through my head, sounding a hell of a lot like my voice when Mavrak takes over. Wait. Is Mavrak telling me to try to use my Tranquility powers?
We don’t have them anymore.
Use them on our female, you fucking moron! She aches.
This isn’t going to work. I have never been more certain of anything in my existence. But the way Eve sits rocking and pulling on her hair, her little face pressed into her knees, has me ready to try anything.
I slide closer, moving slower than a fucking snail, watching for any reaction. She doesn’t look at me. Her whimpers have died out some, but she’s still sniffling, and I smell the salty tang of her tears mixed with her blood.
Focus. You need to be able to do this. You can’t leave her in pain like this.
I shift until I’m six inches away from her, careful to remain quiet. On my knees, I straighten my upper body, close my eyes, and beg myself to find my center of calm. Without it, I’m not going to be able to call forth what I need.
Despite my doubts, I quiet my mind, taking deep breaths and forcing myself to ignore how Eve’s blood smells.
How long I’m at it, I have no clue. I don’t care. The first few minutes are unbearable. Eve’s sniffles are almost impossible to ignore. Reckless impulses gnaw at me, demanding that I hurl myself at her.
The fact that I love her and am unable to watch her suffer is the only thing that keeps me in place, even during those few minutes where I’m sure it isn’t going to work.
The first spark inside me feels familiar, soothing. I almost doubt that it’s happening. Then, the darkness blankets my thoughts, sliding down my spine and encompassing the rest of my body.
Yes. I remember this. Haven’t felt it in over a month now, but the feeling is so familiar.
I focus on it, ignoring the rush of elation that threatens. It’ll distract me, and I need to keep myself centered. Connected to the darkness. As soon as I’m sure I have a good hold on it, I begin willing it out of myself, and aim it towards Evesse.
Lost to the darkness, without any other choice, I keep at it, not knowing if it’s working or not. The farther I allow myself to sink into trance, the less I hear and sense of the outside world. It’s just me, the darkness, and the whispers of an ache that won’t go away.
When I open my eyes, relief almost makes me fall flat on my face.
Evesse is unconscious, lying on the floor, her chest rising with each steady breath. There’s a small furrow between her eyebrows.
I know that she’s still feeling some of the pain—gods help me, she’s probably still seeing shit she shouldn’t be seeing—but it’s a start. I can work with this. If she’s sufficiently out, I can at least try to tend to her.
I need to tend to her. Not doing so is the biggest injustice I’ve ever experienced.
On that note, I flash to her, too impatient to crawl the last six inches. Crouching, I extend a shaking hand and run my fingertips down her cheek. Her eyelids flutter, but aside from that, there’s no response.
This is good. Even though my body is jacked up and threatening to orgasm from that simple contact alone.
Panting, I ease my arms under her and lift her gently off the floor. Eve whimpers. I freeze, waiting. When she doesn’t wake, I exhale with relief, and make my way into the bathroom, where I carefully lay her on the floor next to the tub.
Willing the blood-soaked shirt off her is its own special type of torture. Fury, need, and guilt pummel at me with unadulterated glee. I knew a mating can be some serious shit. Have known for a long, long time.
Again, an image of Nylicia, bloody and weak, on the verge of dying, flashes through my mind.
Eve’s br
easts come into view, and, as if I haven’t seen them before, I’m debased into a slobbering, clumsy beast. I slam a fist deep into the ground next to her, my body curling over hers.
The entire floor shakes.
My cock punches at my jeans, pumping as hard as my chest is, and I swear I hear the zipper holding it back start to slide down on its own. Every rise and fall of her chest pushes those tight, pink nipples of hers up towards me. Tempting me.
Torturing me.
I can’t take her while she’s out. I won’t. Want her awake for what I’m going to do to her. Want her to remember every moment, so that she and the fucking R’mannev get the damn point.
It’s impossible to hate what binds us together, but if the mating were a solid entity outside her body, I would kick its ass for doing this to her.
I will the rest of Evesse’s clothes off. There’s blood on her skin, too. Of course, there is, her clothes are saturated in it. Her red-and-black mating mark is red around the edges, swollen and raised. New lines extend from the bottom, curling around her collarbone.
At the top of the mark, close to her chin, an angry gash is just beginning to heal. Her skin opened on its own, blood rushing out of there, as well.
Damn it, I never understood how vampires think, or how they can sink into a bloodlust so extreme that drinking another being’s blood is the only way back out of the insanity.
I get it now. Understand it so well that I’m bending over my female before I can stop myself, tongue snaking out and licking a path up from her collarbone to the still open gash on her neck. “Oh, fuck.”
It’s not like I forgot how delicious she is. That one taste of her blood, however, abolishes my common sense.
I need more.
I latch onto the gash with my lips, taking a gentle pull and moaning when her blood hits my tongue again. I want to shove my cock between her folds, come all over her as I did last time, right before I slide into her.
She’s not awake. You sick fuck, she’s not aware.
Cursing, I pull away, cracking open my jaw as white-hot agony shoots through my incisors, up into my gums, and keeps on going until it feels like my head is going to split right down the middle.
I will the shower on, near incoherent. Lifting Eve into my arms leaves me with a good, hot feel of all that naked skin.
Once I have her under the water, a part of me eases. Carefully, I pour some liquid soap into my hand and begin washing the blood off her. There is no denying that washing and caring for her goes a long way towards soothing the mess battling within me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper to her, materializing a bottle of shampoo and going to work on her hair. Eve’s lids flutter. I hope that a part of her is hearing what I’m saying. “I didn’t mean for this to happen, and it never will again. I will never let anyone hurt you again. Especially not me.”
Especially not Rhalira, either, but I don’t say that out loud. She doesn’t need to hear that.
I rinse out her hair, chest tight. When I ease her against the back of the tub and move her black, wet hair away from her face, the urge to kiss her becomes too much. Gently, I lean down and press my lips over hers, not caring that the water is hitting my head and soaking me.
“I’m never going to let this happen to you again. I’ll make this better for you. I swear it to you.”
The glow of my aura flaring around me lights up the bathroom. I have no idea how I’m going to make her forget what she saw, but I’ll have to find a way now, won’t I?
I lick my lips, before leaning in and pressing them against hers one more time. They’re plump, soft. I can’t stop myself from sucking on her bottom one and running my tongue across it.
Tasting her isn’t helping. Taking her now isn’t an option.
I materialize some conditioner and go back to work on her hair. Fuck, but it’s beautiful. Long, thick and silky, and the conditioner I smooth through it only makes it softer.
I’ve never done this to a female before.
Taking care of her this way brings a smile to my face—one of those big ass smiles that makes my cheeks hurt.
Until I take a good look at her face and remember she’s still out cold, that I had no choice but to do this to her.
I finish washing her, then will off the water. A simple thought would have her dry, but I go for a towel instead. Wrapping her in it, I lift her out of the tub.
Making my way back into the room, I make sure to will a fire on in the fireplace. Once I have her on the bed, I materialize another towel, sit next to her, and start drying her off.
I take my sweet time, caressing down one leg then the other. By the time I make it up to her arms, my cock’s hurting like a motherfucker, but I’m once again smiling.
CHAPTER 31
ZENIEL
T remors shoot down my legs in waves, and standing upright is getting more difficult by the second. I place a hand on the headboard, bracing myself so I can lean over Evesse and take her in. Every freshly showered, smooth, deliciously naked inch of her.
Damn it, my mate had a sexy little body before becoming immortal. She worked out and took self-defense classes with Ismini. Both girls were sculpted as a result. After becoming immortal, Eve’s body further tightened. The lean, feminine muscles in her stomach, thighs, and arms became a little more pronounced.
And the curve of her breasts and hips . . .
You’re not a fucking teenager. Control yourself.
Hunger and desire are at war inside me. I’m exhausted. My own symptoms, while not as furious as Eve’s, left me drained. There’s just no fighting the need to rest any longer.
Willing my clothes off is a bad idea. I know it before I do it, and I definitely know it before I get into the bed with an equally naked Eve.
Fuck it. I’ll fight my urges like Hercules, but I deserve to feel her.
At least, that’s what my dick convinces me of.
I’m gentle as I place her under the black, silk covers. I’m not nearly so careful when I practically fling myself under those covers with her. Skin. Hot, firm, soft skin. Her back is pressed against my side, and when I move, my dick springs up and smacks her ass cheek.
Impatient fucker.
The wet tip slides across her skin, marking her. I tense, almost giving in to the urge to flip her over and slide into her right here and now.
Groaning, I reach down and move the most sensitive part of myself away from temptation. I get no more than a centimeter away from her though.
“Zen . . .”
It’s a low, mumbled plea, but I burst with hope nonetheless. “Oh gods, baby. Are you awake?”
I don’t get a response.
Letting my head fall back, I groan, shifting to get off the bed.
Eve wriggles against my side, her ass pushing back against my groin. The small whimpers leaving her mouth are a plea.
Shit. She isn’t awake but her body’s still begging for mine.
I squeeze my eyes shut, begging for strength. “Don’t fuck her, you asshole. She’s not awake,” I growl under my breath. My hand squeezes down around her hip.
She whimpers again.
I can’t leave her.
Her body’s also asking me to fuck her and that can’t happen.
This is so wrong.
I reach between our bodies. The moment my hand wraps around my shaft, all control shoots out of the room.
I slide my nose against the shell of her ear, taking in her scent. I can’t decide what aches worst: my teeth, my heart, or my balls. Fuck, my cock’s throbbing so hard.
Pain. I need some. Maybe if I hurt myself I’ll regain some damn control. With that goal in mind, I tighten my hand as viciously as I can. My hips shoot off the bed, pushing my dick deeper into my hold.
Guess not.
Miserable, I grind my teeth. This is beyond what any male can endure. Every instinct that makes me a mated male is demanding my female, and it isn’t going to get easier until I fucking do something about it.
So, I d
o. I turn just enough to press my cockhead against Eve’s ass cheek. Pulling her closer, I move her hair out of the way so I can latch onto the still open gash on her mating mark.
I don’t even pump my fist, merely hold fast and suck her blood into me, which is almost enough to set me off.
Longing and pleasure slice through every cell, merging with her hot, powerful taste.
“I need you, baby. I’d give anything for you to be awake. For you to feel how hard my cock is for you. I’m leaking already, and you’re not even touching me.” I lean down and take another few pulls on her neck. “God, female. I want you to use me. Drain me dry. All I can think about is how your lips would feel.”
My hips surge, pushing my cock up before dragging it back through my fist. The moan that leaves me is deep, rough, and seems to echo throughout the entire house.
Eve doesn’t move, but a small mewl emerges from her parted lips.
“Fuck, baby. I love you. I love you so fucking much.” I don’t care whether those words make it past her subconscious or not. What I feel for her is eating me alive from the inside, frying all my nerve-endings with every thrust of my hips.
Panting, I caress my cockhead softly, eyes closing as I lean towards Eve’s mouth and lick the corner of her lips. “I want you to suck me. No one ever has. Fuck, baby, you’d make me come so hard. So fucking . . . shit.”
My back arches, pressing my dick into her warm body and riding out my orgasm as love and lust seem to explode inside me. Moaning raggedly, I pump my fist faster, jerking my cum out onto her ass and thigh.
“Eve,” I cry, trapped by the hellish need to feel the inside of her, to have those hot walls wrapped around me.
Coming on her is satisfying, but it isn’t enough. It’s all I can do to stop myself from falling upon her.
Fuck, the spasms are still gripping my muscles minutes after I’ve stopped coming. I can’t seem to get enough air to feed my rioting heart.
I should be sated. Keyword being should. If anything, I’m hornier than ever. The only good thing is that I’m finally too exhausted to move, let alone take my R’ma in her sleep.
Ryze Series: Books 1 & 2 Page 49