by Eric Vall
Eclipse, Ira, and Gula took one side of the room as they lopped off heads with their naginata, morning star, and axe, while Cupi, Deja, and Mirage made short work of another large group of Targlins with their piercing weapons. Meanwhile, the succubi with long-range attacks were playing target practice.
Superbia was catching large groups of the little goblin-like creatures with her black Hellfire, raising them up into the air, and then holding them in place. At the same time, Inpulsa, Invidia, Libidine and Tris lit them up with their projectiles and spells.
The Targlins caught in Sia’s trap were ripped to shreds by a mixture of electricity, spikes, and bullets, and within seconds, there was nothing left of the fuckers.
“Jakey!” Todd cackled as he swooped around behind me and placed his tiny mitts on my back. “You wanna go bowling?”
I looked over to see there was only one group of Targlins remaining. Ten of them, to be exact.
“Let’s go for a perfect game.” I grinned as I summoned red Hellfire into my hand and then ran it across the blade of the Unhallowed Sword.
Todd gave my weightless body a hearty shove, and I flew across the room toward the floating Targlins. As I rocketed toward my targets, I pulled out my goat-headed dagger, gripped it firmly, and then pulled both my blades in close to my chest as I prepared to attack.
The goblin-creatures flailed in a panic as they tried to do anything to escape my wrath, but there was nothing they could do.
As soon as I was within striking distance of the Targlins, I swung both my weapons out beside my body, and there were sprays of crimson when I passed through the group and slashed their throats as I went by.
My momentum kept me going until I came to the temple wall, and then I pressed my feet against the rocky side of the building and propelled myself back into the action.
Four of the Targlins had been killed by my first passthrough. Not quite a strike, but maybe I could pick up the spare.
This time, I stabbed my sword through the closest Targlin’s head and then spun my body around like a top as I shot a blast of red Hellfire out of the blade. As I rotated in the air, I became a deadly makeshift flamethrower, and the last remaining Targlins were lit up like a Christmas tree.
They let out the faintest of screams before their bodies were vaporized into ashes, and then all was silent.
It took me a few more rotations before my momentum finally ceased and I came to a stop, and then I tried to survey the battlefield once more.
The temple was now full of lifeless, floating Targlin bodies. We’d done it.
The last of the Targlins were dead.
“Jakey!” Todd called out from across the room through a makeshift hand bullhorn. “I have to say … I think that might have been the most metal thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. And I’ve seen GWAR seven times, bro!”
Ziminiar just rolled his eyes, shook his head, and then released his green spell. As he did so, what was left of the Targlins’ bodies collapsed to the ground, as did all of my friends and me.
I quickly pulled myself back to my feet as my entire team approached my position.
Well, Mephisto, the King of the Fifth Circle, grumbled telepathically as he floated over, so much for a calm, peaceful transfer of power.
“At least Ziminiar here got a ceremony,” Asmodeus noted. “When Mammon and I were promoted to Demon Kings, all Lucifer did was pat us on the head like a lost puppy and say ‘you are now my Kings.’ I’ve gotten more fanfare out of my annual orgy of premature ejaculators.”
“Somehow, I want to know all about this and absolutely nothing about it, all at the same time, bro,” Todd whispered to me.
“I try to find the silver lining in everything,” Ziminiar said, “and I will admit, I was wondering how I was going to deal with the Targlin problem now that I am King. But now, it looks like it’s all been sorted out.”
“If by ‘sorted out’ you mean ‘left in a bloody heap on the floor,’ then yes,” I chuckled and sheathed my weapon.
“More or less the same thing,” the wise old demon agreed. “Now, if we are all done here, I’d like to retire to my castle. I’ve got some big plans for the Sixth Circle … ”
“I can’t wait to see them, King Ziminiar,” I admitted as I extended my hand.
The goat-faced demon’s eyes smiled at me through his oversized glasses, and then he reached out and shook my hand.
The moment was interrupted, however, by the massive, ground-shaking footsteps of Mammon. The King of the Second Circle came hobbling over to us, completely out of breath. Sweat covered his disgusting, obese body, which in turn caused his skin to be covered from head to toe in a layer of wet, glistening fluid.
“Wha--What did I-I--” he choked out through a few heaves, “what did I miss?”
“They just unfroze Han from the Carbonite,” Todd snickered, and Libidine gave him a playful slap on the shoulder.
“Uhhhh, all the Targlin are dead,” I explained.
Mammon crossed his flabby arms across his manboobs and raised his eyebrows in surprise.
“There were Targlin here?” he gasped through deep breaths of air.
“You just got here?” I sighed.
“I came as fast as I could!” the King of the Second Circle protested. “At least I came. I don’t see Lilith or her servant here at all.”
“Lilith and Eligor had important business to attend to,” I explained with an extended finger, “they get a pass on this one. But you’re right, at least you showed up. We Demon Kings need all the support we can get, especially when we’re adding a new member to the team.”
“That’s why I walked all this way,” Mammon panted, “now, shall we get started?”
“Uhhhhh,” I groaned, “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we’ve been done for like, twenty minutes. Ziminiar is King of the Sixth Circle.”
Mammon frowned as he realized he’d missed the entire ceremony, but he simply shrugged. Then the fat demon waddled over to Ziminiar, stuck out his hand, and shook with his new ally.
I could only imagine how warm and clammy his hand must have been, and the muted expression of horror on Ziminiar’s face confirmed my suspicion.
“I just can’t believe it,” Mammon chuckled, “the last time I saw you, Ziminiar, you were following behind Lucifer like a wide-eyed kid, jotting down everything he said onto those scrolls of yours. Now just look at ya … part of Jacob’s Alliance and a Demon King!”
“I appreciate the kind words, Mammon,” Ziminiar reaffirmed, “and I appreciate you coming out all this way to see me. But for now, I must return to my dwelling. I have so much work I need to get done … How did Gressil ever live in this place? It’s absolutely dreadful.”
“He didn’t,” Asmodeus scoffed, “he was always hanging out in the Eighth Circle with Beelzebub. He was a complete kiss-ass, and not in the pleasant ‘let’s experiment with something new’ kind of way.”
“Again,” Todd stated, “I want to know, but I really don’t want to know.”
“No matter,” Ziminiar said with a wave of his hand, “once I’m done with this place, it will be the single greatest scholarly paradise the universe has ever seen. There’s so much to do, and so little time … Thank you all for coming out today, and I’m sure our paths will cross again shortly.”
With that, the new King of the Sixth Circle bid us farewell, and then headed out of the temple toward his castle.
“Welp,” Mammon sighed and wiped the beads of sweat off his forehead, “I suppose I ought to head back to my domain. It’s a loooong fucking walk.”
“You walked all the way here?” Asmodeus chuckled. “I took my yacht.”
“Your yacht fit in the River of Souls?” I gasped as I tried to picture the image in my head.
“It’s a moderately sized yacht.” The King of the First Circle shrugged. “Perfect for short getaways, and the perfect size for … intimate gatherings, if you catch my drift. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to head back to the S.S. Pe
ntagram and turn it into the S.S. Penetration. Toodleloo, my friends!”
Asmodeus turned to walk out of the room, and his billowing white and black spotted cape flowed gracefully behind him. Soon, both he and Mammon were out the door, and my team was alone.
“We really gotta get ourselves one of those yachts he’s talking about,” Ira cooed.
“I agree,” Gula nodded, “though not for the same reasons as Sister Ira here. It’s getting harder and harder for all of us to travel together now that our team has grown so large.”
I have several boats in my domain, Mephisto offered, as you know, that’s the primary mode of transportation in the Fifth Circle.
“I’ll have to look into it,” I admitted, “but, for now, it looks like we’re all gonna have to either fly or crowd into the dinghy. We’ve got a long journey to get back home, and even more important things to do once we get back.”
“Oh, yeah,” Todd giggled, “I totally forgot. Sideshow Babe and Goldilocks are supposed to be teaching you about your Deus Ex Machina, aren’t they?”
“Jacob’s black Hellfire, you mean,” Sia corrected the imp.
Todd shrugged. “Eh, I’m just calling it what it is. I’m just excited to see what it’s all about!”
“I wouldn’t be,” Cupiditas warned, and her voice was droning and distant as she stared off into space, “I’ve had enough bad experiences with the stuff that I never, ever want to use it again. But if Lilith thinks it’s the only way to defeat Beelzebub, then who am I to question her?”
“It’ll be alright,” I reassured the fit blonde as I placed my hand lovingly on her cheek, “I trust Lilith, and she’s been doing research on this for the last few days. If anyone can get my powers under control, it’s the Demon Queen. Now, let’s go home. All of us.”
I gave Cupi a small peck on the lips to hammer my point home even more, and then I turned to lead my team out to our boat.
Even though everything I just said was true … I really did trust Lilith’s judgement and her ability to train me in the use of my powers. However, I couldn’t help but remember the last time I’d tried to use black Hellfire.
I remembered the darkness and the distorted world around me, almost like I was inside a broken radio.
Worst of all, I remembered the Shadow People.
Chapter 2
The journey back to the Fourth Circle was somewhat lengthy, and the boat was crowded so full I wondered if it would stay afloat the entire trip. However, now that the Fifth and Sixth Circles had been liberated and were no longer hostile territory, it was a fairly uneventful sail.
Todd told a series of jokes that kept flitting back and forth between “so dirty a sailor would blush” and eye-rollingly terrible, while the rest of us either slept or cleaned our weapons.
Finally, after nearly two hours of sailing, we arrived at the port of my castle.
“Alright,” I announced to the packed boat, “I’ll give you guys a few minutes to go freshen up and rest, but then I want you to meet me out at the coliseum. Lilith and Eligor should be back by now, and they want us all to work on using our black Hellfire magic.”
Eclipse sheepishly raised her hand from the back of the dinghy.
“Do I have to go?” the tattooed beauty asked. “I’ve already got my black fire down to a science.”
“Yeahhhhh,” Todd added, “mine makes me go all Great American Hero and shit, so I dunno if I need any more training. That’s time I could be spending working on Tuesdays with the Toddster or trying to recruit more people into my multi-level marketing company … ”
“Wait,” Tris protested, “if they aren’t going, then why do I have to go? That totally doesn’t seem fair.”
“We will all be going,” Sia confirmed as she casually stepped off the boat and onto the pier. “Even if your fear powers have manifested themselves already, they are nowhere near their highest potential. That’s why Lilith and Eligor have so graciously offered to teach us how to harness them.”
“Harness?” Ira perked up from her light slumber and looked around with excitement in her eyes. “Did someone say something about a harness? Yes, please.”
“All in due time,” Superbia explained coyly, “but for now, let us go rest. We will all meet you at the coliseum in, say … half an hour?”
“Half an hour works for me,” I confirmed, and then I watched as the beautiful women stood up, stretched out, and then exited the boat.
My eyes were glued to their gorgeous bodies as they walked away, and their hips sashayed from side to side and made their asses jiggle. My heart raced in my chest as I thought about all the things I wanted to do to these women in bed. Or on the couch. Or in the workshop. Or wherever they wanted it to be.
“Whoooooa,” Todd interrupted my impure thoughts as he appeared in front of my face, “eyes up here, bro. We want you to be fearful, remember? I dunno what Hellfire power is linked to horniness, but I really don’t wanna find out.”
“Please,” I scoffed, “if there was a Hellfire power for horniness, you would have unlocked it a loooong time ago.”
“Fair enough,” the tiny imp shrugged, “the Toddster has three moods, and three moods only: hungry, horny, and stoned.”
“You’re forgetting paranoid,” I half-joked as I looked past the imp and saw Deja was still sitting in the boat, and she was looking somewhat anxious.
“Me?” Todd chuckled. “Paranoid? I think you’re losin’ it, bro.”
“Mhmm.” I shook my head as I began to scoot over toward the brunette succubus. “If I recall correctly, you went on a six-hour tangent about how the Boston Tea Party was connected to the Kennedy Assassination.”
“That’s not paranoia, bro,” Todd crossed his tiny arms over his chest, “that’s just straight-up facts. I didn’t even get to the part where the aliens come in … ”
“Maybe another time,” I laughed, and then I turned my attention to the lone succubus in the dinghy. “What’s up, Deja? Aren’t you going to go join the others?”
“I just wanted to talk to you about what happened back there,” Deja sighed, “or, actually, more like what’s been happening to me all the time recently.”
I slid closer to the brunette woman and put my arm around her tightly.
“What’s up?” I asked. “Are you struggling with your new Demon Lord powers? I’ve never seen you predict the future like that before.”
“That’s the thing,” Deja continued, “my power set has always allowed me to mess with how I experience time, and every now and again I’d get these weird ‘flash forwards’ into the future. It was always random, but now that I’m a full-fledged Demon Lord, it looks like I can actually control it. At least, in theory.”
“Holy shit, Clockblocker,” Todd whistled, “you totally got the Sherlock Holmes syndrome going on.”
“Sherlock Holmes?” Deja questioned with a frown.
“Totally,” the imp continued, “haven’t you ever seen the Guy Richie version? The one with Iron Man in it? He can totally flash forward into the future at will, just like you. Then he plans out all the kung fu shit he’s gonna do, and then he does all the kung fu shit he planned.”
“I definitely can’t do it at will,” the succubus shook her head somberly, “it’s just becoming more prominent, that’s all. That’s how I was able to tell you when the Targlin were trying to ambush us. But I can’t control it very well … ”
“What’s so bad about that?” I pondered aloud. “So, you get a glimpse into the future every now and again. That could actually be really helpful in our final battle!”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” Deja said in a much more somber tone. “Even though it’s happening more and more, it still isn’t something I can control. I’m worried there will come a time where you need me to use my powers, and I won’t be able to produce. I-I just don’t want to disappoint you, Jacob. That’s all.”
“Nonsense, Deja,” I reassured the succubus tenderly, “you could never, ever, in a million
years, disappoint me. Besides, with a little bit of guidance from Lilith or Eligor or Cupi, I’m sure you’ll learn how to master these powers in no time!”
“Yeah, Clockblocker,” Todd snickered as he poked his head up between my and Deja’s heads, “with a little bit of help from the war master, you’ll be Robert Downey Junior-ing motherfuckers left and right. Just, uh … avoid the hard stuff at all costs. We really don’t need to find you passed out in some eleven year old’s bed someday.”
“Why would I be in a--” Deja began, but I cut her off.
“He’s trying to make a joke about the guy’s drug addiction,” I sighed, “which is totally not cool.”
“Hey, bro, you know me,” Todd just shrugged, “I like to keep things topical. Speaking of topical … if I leave right now, I think I’ve got time to have a quickie with Palmala Handerson before we gotta be at the coliseum.”
Then, in a single motion, the imp backflipped off the side of the dinghy, caught himself with his black Hellfire, and then floated up into the sky and out of sight.
“Who’s Palmala?” Deja pondered aloud.
“You don’t want to know,” I promised her as I stood up and motioned for her to get out of the boat, “but I’ll talk to Lilith and Cupi and see if they can help you get a handle on your powers.”
“You mean that?” The brunette perked up.
“Of course I do. Now, go get some rest, and I’ll see you at the coliseum.”
Deja nodded gratefully before she hopped up and steadily made her way out of the dinghy and onto the pier. I was right behind her, and the two of us walked all the way down to the end of the walkway before we parted ways.
The Cali-girl succubus was headed off to change clothes or take a nap or maybe even grab a bite to eat, but I couldn’t afford such a luxury.
I needed to get to the coliseum before everyone else. I had lots of training ahead of me, involving a power I both didn’t understand and kinda feared. So, the sooner I could get started, the better.
I strolled over past the castle walls and then across the rocky landscape of my domain. As I walked in the direction of the training grounds, I couldn’t help but look out and marvel at my creation.