by Eric Vall
When the light finally settled, I saw the tarry substance had been evaporated from me and all of my friends.
“Holy shit, bro,” Todd whistled, “we should just go ahead and rename that attack the ‘Deus Ex Machina.’”
“Jacob … ” Inpulsa gasped, “you … you just used your Divine powers here.”
“I know what I did,” I reassured her as I turned around to face the beast, “I just saved all of my friends. Now … we’ve got a creature to kill.”
The beast had been knocked down by my shockwave, and it appeared he was weakening by the second. He wobbled as he stood up, and massive amounts of tarry blood continued to pour from his amputated leg. Then he began to hobble forward, but I was ready for the fucker.
I held the Unhallowed Sword in my hand tightly as I charged forward, ready for the kill. Blasts of electricity, black holes, fireballs, acid, and bullets shot past me as I ran, and each one struck the beast and brought him back down to his knees.
Once I got close enough, I created a series of platforms using my purple Hellfire. One-by-one, I ascended the makeshift stairs until I was about three feet above the fucker’s head. Then I leapt off the final platform, raised the Unhallowed Sword into the air, and brought it down right between the Shadow Monster’s eyes.
It let out a muffled roar of pain as my blade pierced its skull, and then I used my own weight to pull the sword all the way down the front of the creature’s face. There was a sickly crunch as the sword split open its skull, and the tarry black blood splattered all over my body. Finally, I felt my feet hit the ground along with the monster’s head, and all went silent.
Through the disgusting black substance, I could see the Shadow Monster was now laying in front of me, with its head split completely open, and its brain was on full display.
I closed my eyes again and thought of my friends and family. Once more, the tingling sensation spread throughout my body, and my figure began to glow like an angel. Then I unleashed the Divine Light into the Shadow Monster’s face at point-blank range, and he didn’t even make a sound as his brain was fried to a burnt crisp along with the viscous fluid on my body. Finally, when I released my spell, there was nothing left of the bastard but a husk of a body.
The Shadow Monster was dead.
“Holy fuck,” I sighed as I stumbled back over to the rest of the group, “I never realized just how much we rely on our green Hellfire abilities until they decided to not fucking work.”
“Are you alright, Jacob?” Invidia asked as she placed her hand against my face. “You just used two God Bombs back to back.”
“No, no, Elvira,” Todd clarified, “those weren’t God Bombs. Way too small. Not enough charging time. Those were just miniature versions, or what I like to call ‘Prophet Blasts.’”
“We’re not calling them that,” I panted and shook my head.
“Oh, come on, Jakey,” the imp sighed, “it makes perfect sense. They’re not the full-on ‘God,’ but rather tiny representations of it. Aka the Prophets.”
“I just want to know if there are any more of these things,” Inpulsa interjected as she surveyed the landscape. “Was that a Shadow Person?”
“No, no,” I explained, “Shadow People are a lot smaller, and they take the form of a human person.”
“They sound like fun.” Vidia smiled sarcastically.
“Oh, so like that thing over there?” Deja warned.
My heart sank into my stomach at the succubus’ words, and I whipped around to see what she was talking about. Sure enough, off in the distance stood a tall, shadowy figure.
“Only one?” Tris asked as she cocked her gun. “That should be easy.”
“Something’s not right,” I said as I squinted off into the distance, “why is it standing so far away? Most of the time, they aren’t visible until--”
Oh, fuck.
I grabbed my sword, spun around, and gasped.
Behind us, no more than fifty feet away, were dozens and dozens of Shadow People.
“Welcome back, Jacob Ralston,” one of the eerie male voices announced, “we were hoping we’d see you again.”
I went to lash out with my sword, but the fuckers were on us before I could land a blow.
The Shadow People scooped me up in their arms and held me tight. I tried to fire off a few blasts of red Hellfire, but my aim was horrendously off, and my fireballs just launched out into the sky. I wanted to use another blast of Divine Light, but there was no way I could muster up the energy to do three in a span of ten minutes.
“Hands off the merchandise, ya nobodied freaks!” Todd warned.
“Put us down!” Eclipse demanded.
Wait … they weren’t tearing us limb from limb. In fact, the Shadow People weren’t even trying to hurt us.
“What the fuck is going on?” I growled. “What do you bastards want with us?”
One of the shadowy shapes appeared above my head and stared into my eyes with its bright red peepers.
“You will see in time,” a disembodied female voice explained. “We have big plans for you and your friends, spawn of Lucifer.”
Chapter 6
The Shadow People may have had my entire team in their grasp, but I wasn’t going to let us go out this way. I’d seen first hand that these bastards could be damaged by someone from Earth Realm, and I planned on putting them all in a world of hurt.
Sure, there were way more of them than there were of us, but I wasn’t gonna go down without a fight.
“Ohhhhhh!” Ira groaned orgasmically. “Pull tighter! You call this a stretcher?”
One of the Shadow People was still staring down at me with her crimson, glowing eyes, but she wasn’t saying a single word.
She’d be the first one to feel my wrath.
I summoned purple Hellfire into my hands and created two large, horizontal platforms just above the Shadow People on each side of my body. Then I commanded them to slam straight down into the ground.
Straight down on top of the Shadow People.
Each one let out a horrible hiss as their bodies were crushed beneath the violet shields. However, much to my surprise, they didn’t crumple up into a bloody heap like all the other opponents I’d faced.
Instead, the Shadow People’s bodies disappeared into a puff of black mist.
I honestly didn’t even know if they were dead or not, but I didn’t have time to care. I was free of their grasp, and I only had seconds before they were on me again.
So, I drew the Unhallowed Sword with one hand and my goat-headed dagger with the other and then lashed out at the female Shadow Person who had been taunting me.
But she zipped backward, out of the path of my blow, and then stared at me silently.
I tried to do a double attack on the creature by swinging my sword at her neck while I stabbed at her with my dagger, but it was no use. My opponent dodged to the side as silent as a ghost and then continued to stare me down.
“We were not prepared for your aggression the first time, spawn of Lucifer,” it whispered, “why do you harm us like so?”
“Why do I ‘harm you?’” I scoffed and readied to attack again. “You guys are literally trying to take us captive!”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the dark mist reconfigure itself until it was once again the group of Shadow People I’d crushed before. My heartbeat was as loud as a bass drum as they began to float in my direction, but then the female Shadow Person stopped them with a raise of her arm.
“We are just preserving our kind,” the specter explained, “in our experience, you tend to kill first and ask questions later. When there are only a few hundred of my kin left, we can’t take any chances.”
“You really think I’m going to believe that?” I growled. “You’re Shadow People, creatures even my father himself didn’t want to put up with.”
“Shadow People?” the shadowy figure hissed. “Such a derogatory term. Maybe I should tell them to kill you, but that would be a poor decision. We need you
, son of Lucifer.”
“Don’t listen to her, Jakey!” Todd’s voice called out from the crowd. “Turn her smoky dark ass into coal! Tell her to take her weird-ass long arms and shove ‘em up her--”
Todd’s voice was suddenly muffled, but he continued to try and speak.
“You have one minute to explain yourself,” I warned the Shadow Person.
As much as I wanted to just jump right over and sever this creature’s head from its spine, I wasn’t exactly in the best position to be making demands. These bastards had the rest of the strike team in their mitts, and even if I were to kill this woman, I’d be overrun in seconds.
The best option was to hear her out.
“It will not even take that,” the Shadow Person explained. “You are not our enemy, Jacob Ralston. In fact, you are the opposite … You are our savior.”
“Savior?” I mused as I quirked my eyebrow in disbelief. “If this is how you treat your savior, I’d hate to see how you treat your enemies.”
“Believe it, or don’t,” the eerie voice continued, “but you fit the description perfectly. The Nephilim of Lucifer and a human, one who would conquer the Circles of Hell, master the sacred powers of our realm, and then lead us to freedom.”
“Okay, I’ll admit,” I heard a struggling Inpulsa mutter from somewhere in the crowd, “that does sound a lot like you.”
“What do you mean ‘lead you to freedom?’” I questioned. “Look, whoever you are … I’m willing to hear you out, but not while you’re turning my friends into living Stretch Armstrong dolls.”
“Give me your word they won’t attack,” the figure retorted. “Give me your word, and I will release them.”
“Fine,” I said with a nod, and then I slowly sheathed my two weapons and held up my hands to show I was unarmed. “Now please…”
Without a single word, the Shadow Person in front of me raised the silhouette of her arm, formed her fingers into an “L” shape, and then quickly lowered it back to her side. The second she did so, the Shadow People around us dispersed. They released my friends and then moved back to create a massive circle around our entire group.
“Awww,” Ira sighed as she brushed off her shoulders, “they were just getting good at it, too.”
Meanwhile, Todd was making exaggerated sounds with his tongue as he tried to get the taste of Shadow Person out of his mouth.
“Damn, bro,” he said through his spittle, “you remember the taste of Fruit Stripe gum after it lost all its flavor? Because that’s what I’m tasting right now. That, plus salty sweat and some sort of … worcestershire?”
“Eww,” Deja shuddered, “that’s totally foul.”
“I think I’d actually like it if it tasted like fowl, Clockblocker,” Todd giggled, “this is more ‘old leathery glove.’”
“What is going on?” Eclipse demanded, “Why are we still alive?”
“Alright, we’re not fighting anymore,” I reminded the Shadow Person, “now, why do you think I’m your savior? And who the fuck even are you people? Because if you don’t want us to call you ‘Shadow People,’ you should probably give us something else to work with.”
“My name is Zilla,” the shadowy figure explained, “I am--was, the Queen of the Caliginis People.”
“Let me guess,” I chuckled as I felt my fear begin to subside, “the ‘was’ part is why you need to be freed.”
“You’re a fast learner,” Zilla noted, “much quicker than any of the others.”
“Others?” I gasped. “I thought I was the first Nephilim to travel to this place.”
“Not quite,” the Shadow Person continued. “Other Nephilim have come into this place, but none of them quite matched up with what was told in the Book of Bezaleel. Some of them were the Nephilim of other demon lords, while the rare few who claimed to be the sons of Lucifer didn’t have any Circles to their name.”
I was so confused. This was a lot of information coming at me all at once, and it was a lot to process.
I knew there were other sons of Lucifer, but the Divine had told me they were all slain by my father before they could become a threat. Then there was this whole “Book of Bezaleel.” Was there another sacred text I wasn’t aware of? One that could potentially throw a wrench in my plans?
“I’m sorry,” I sighed, “but you’ve still got a lot more explaining to do.”
“Yeah, Godzilla,” Todd added, “we need some exposition, ASAP!”
“Ugh, another long, boring story,” Tris sighed, “wake me up when it’s over.”
Invidia slapped her sister on the shoulder and scoffed.
“Let her talk,” the Sister of Envy grumbled. “I’m sure she’s got lots of excellent stories of this dark, depressing world.”
“And exposition, I shall,” she explained as her vague form flickered in front of us, “but it’s not safe here. Surely the commotion of our battle has attracted the attention of more of those Rapha Beasts. If we remain in the outskirts of the Shadow World for much longer, they will find us. You thought one was difficult to kill? Try a whole herd.”
“Fine,” I conceded cautiously, “we’ll go wherever you need us to go. But you’re gonna have to explain on the way.”
“Yes,” Invidia fan-girled, “please tell us everything about this dark and depressing place.”
“Of course,” Zilla nodded her formless head, “I shall explain everything on the way to Umbra.”
“Umbra is a real place?” Invidia gasped as she bounced up and down. “My sisters always told me it was just a myth!”
I couldn’t help but be amused at Vidia’s sudden bout of enthusiasm, and neither could the rest of the group.
“Easy there, Elvira,” Todd chuckled, “I know getting excited doesn’t happen too often for you, so don’t overdo it. You don’t wanna blow out a tit or something.”
“That’s not a real thing.” Inpulsa rolled her eyes.
“It’s totally a real thing, Pikachu!” the imp warned. “Where do you think the expression ‘Calm Your Tits’ comes from? When babes with super big boobs get excited, they can have a blowout.”
“That’s … that’s wrong on like, so many levels.” Deja facepalmed.
“Does it hurt?” Ira asked hopefully. “And if it does, is it more of a ‘melted wax’ sort of sting, or is it a full-on ‘cut to the bone’ sort of throbbing? Either way, I want to learn how to do it.”
“It’s not a real thing!” Deja groaned as she rubbed her temples. “Sister Vidia is just really excited about going to this place, probably because it’s like, all dark and gloomy or something.”
“Dark and gloomy doesn’t even come close to describing the incredibleness that is Umbra,” Invidia sighed as she placed her hands together in front of her chest and looked off into the distance longingly. “The City of Shadows is the darkest, most depressing, most isolated place in the universe. I’ve heard you can’t even get into it unless you have an escort.”
“Sounds like a lovely place,” Eclipse rolled her eyes.
“What your teammate says is true,” Zilla noted. “Only us Caliginis can enter, using the powers we are given from this Realm. But, Jacob Ralston, you appear to possess the same power … ”
Before I could say anything else, Zilla turned away and began to drift across the ground toward the rest of her brethren. Then the circle of Shadow People around us turned into a single-file line, and they began to march off after their leader.
“What the fuck is happening?” I pondered aloud as we all began to follow after the Shadow People. “Whatever I thought was gonna go down in the Shadow World, it definitely wasn’t this.”
“Yeah, bro,” Todd admitted, “I totally thought the Shadow Queen was gonna be some sexy goth girl with big boobs and leather and shit like that.”
“I wish,” I chuckled.
“Excuse me?” Invidia mused, “Isn’t that supposed to be my role?”
“I thought it was mine,” Eclipse admitted.
“You all fill a diff
erent role,” Todd giggled, “one’s emo and one’s punk. Jakey doesn’t mind, I’m sure.”
“Oh, well,” Ira purred, “I guess that just means one less woman to share Jacob with.”
“Hallelujah,” Tris added, “do you know how hard it is to please multiple people at the same time? Like, really hard. Reaaaaalllly hard. I mean, don’t get me wrong … it’s totally worth it. But it takes a lot outta you, ya know?”
“I don’t think you’re outta the woods yet.” Todd shrugged. “I know how our adventures go. When it comes to Jakey, if its got a vag, it’s in the bag.”
“That’s not true,” I protested.
“Bro.” Todd shot me a look of bemusement. “Name one new babe you’ve met in the last three years whose clam you didn’t jam.”
I thought it over for a second but then quickly realized the imp had a point. However, the thought of sleeping with a nebulous shadow creature was laughable.
“Bro, I don’t think she even has a clam,” I laughed, “her entire body is made up of the lack of light. However the fuck that’s possible.”
“I dunno … ” Todd didn’t seem convinced. “I’d be willing to wager you’ll be balls-deep inside of that cloud of darkness at some point.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” I shot back, “once we’ve used the Shadow World to get our army to the Eighth Circle, I don’t think I ever want to come back. This whole world is just kinda … depressing.”
“I know,” Invidia cooed, “isn’t it marvelous?”
“I dunno if I like this version of Elvira, bro,” Todd whispered. “She’s freaking me out with her peppy attitude.”
“Come now, Jacob,” Zilla called out from the front of the line, “we have much to talk about.”
That much was for sure.
I jogged up to the Shadow Person’s position and then began to question her intensely.
“You said there were other Nephilims who had tried to be your savior before,” I began, “who were they, and what happened to them?”
Zilla continued to float forward, but her head swiveled around ninety degrees to look me straight in the eyes.
“I’m sure you can guess,” she joked coldly. “It’s the same thing that happens to all false prophets.”