by Amare, Mercy
“You saw my boobs. And that’s because you didn’t knock. I am seeing a pattern here.”
“So you just let him stand in here and watch you get naked?” Aaron asks. “I guess you are just like Candice.”
And that was a low blow. We both know it. “Get out of my room! I don’t even want to see you right now.”
Aaron’s face drops. “I’m sorry, Charlotte. You know I didn’t mean that. I am just being an idiot.”
“GO! I can’t talk to you right now.”
He opens his mouth to say something else, but once he sees the serious look on my face he turns and leaves the room. The second the door shuts, I walk into my bathroom, shut the door, and cry. I definitely don’t want to cry in front of Tristan.
I don’t know what’s gotten into Aaron. Have I really changed that much since moving to New York? I really don’t think I have, but maybe he’s right about that. I always thought my life in California was laid back, but the truth is I have always been uptight there. I’ve always had so much pressure from my mom and even my older sisters… Them with their perfect lives and their celeb statuses… I had to work twice as hard at everything, and I was pretending to be mellow. But it’s different here. Dad doesn’t pressure me. Sure, he has expectations, but his expectations are about my grades and my future college… Not about my weight, exercise routine, or how good I look in front of the camera. So yeah, I guess I have changed. But it’s definitely for the better.
I cry for a few minutes over what Aaron said. I think the reason that it hurt so bad was because he reminded me of my mom. He pressured me to be somebody that I’m just not anymore. And Aaron has ALWAYS been my laid back friend. He’s who I go to when my home life gets overwhelming. But he’s changed, and I don’t like this side of him. The side that only likes me when I’m a certain way, or at a certain location. Friends don’t do that to friends.
I have always heard that after graduation friends grow apart, and I thought that will never happen to Aaron and I. Though I haven’t graduated, I have moved away. And I finally get it. You do grow apart. It’s different because I’m not seeing him everyday. It totally sucks that we’re like this.
There is a knock on the door right before it opens. Tristan sticks his head in. “You should go talk to him.”
I wipe the tears from under my eyes. “You’re right.”
“I’m going to go to my house, and you should hang out with him. Talk to him. I’ll just come over tomorrow.”
I really don’t want Tristan to go home, but Aaron did just fly to see me. I do need to give him some best friend time. “Okay, I’ll see you in the morning. We will probably get up at like five in the morning to surf if you want to come?”
“I’ve never woken up that early, but I will be here. And you can teach me how to surf.”
“Sounds good. I will see you then.” He backs out of the bathroom, and I take a minute to wash my face. You can hardly tell that I’ve been crying, but Aaron will know.
I make my way out of the bathroom, and downstairs. Aaron is sitting on the couch with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He looks up as I sit down on the couch beside him.
“I’m sorry,” he says. I can tell that he means it.
“I know.”
“There is absolutely no excuse for my behavior. But I get here, and you’re with this guy that I don’t know… And I see the way you look at him. It isn’t the same as it was with Landon or any of the other guys. And the way he looks at you is… intense. I guess I just always hoped one day that it would be you and me,” he says.
“You’re my best friend. I would never want to ruin that.”
“But I always thought that would change, and that maybe one day you would see me as more than your best friend.”
Oh, God, no. Not this conversation. “Do you have feelings for me? As more than a friend, I mean.”
Please say no.
“I’ve always thought you were beautiful,” he answers. “Even when we were five. And I will admit, all those nights you spent with me I wanted to do a lot more than sleep.”
“That’s just hormones, Aaron. I’m asking if you’re in love with me.”
“I love you.”
“I know that,” I say. “And I love you too. I’ve always loved you. Like a brother.”
He sighs. “I don’t know. I guess I wanted to explore my feelings.”
“You and I have been inseparable for fourteen years. Changing our status from friends to in a relationship wouldn’t change your feelings. It would just mean we were best friends who were sleeping together. Then we would’ve eventually broken up, because were not in love, and our friendship would have been ruined.”
“OR we’d start having sex and you would fall deeply and madly in love with me. Then we’d live happily ever after. Think about it. You and I would have beautiful children.”
This makes me laugh. “I don’t think so.”
“I do. In fact, I could prove it.”
“I’m so NOT sleeping with you.”
“But you do sleep with Tristan?”
I roll my eyes. “It’s really not any of your business, but no. I have not slept with Tristan. He’s waiting because he knows that you have feelings for me. He wanted me to see you this weekend before we did anything. He is convinced you’re going to kiss me. Which is stupid, because I definitely don’t want to ki—”
My words are cut off when Aaron’s lips slam into mine. He isn’t at all gentle, but it’s nice. It’s comfortable. But Aaron isn’t Tristan. I don’t feel fire all over my body like I do with Tristan. In fact, I feel guilty. So I pull back.
Aaron looks me in the eyes for a second, and I swear his face drops a little. “You’re really in love with him, aren’t you?”
“Love? After a month? No.”
“Yes you are,” he says. “You just don’t know it yet.”
“I’m not, but either way this is an awkward conversation.”
“Yes it is.” He agrees.
“Can we just pretend this never happened and go back to being best friends?” I ask.
“Definitely,” he says. “And again, I am sorry about… everything. I was a major jerk. I’m glad that I didn’t ruin our friendship by how I acted. Or by kissing you. Very much a jerk move.”
“Yep.”
“So how are you with the whole Candice sex tape thing? I can’t believe I haven’t asked you before now. I heard you call her a whore on TV.”
From one awkward conversation to the next. “Ugh… yeah. I did that. And I managed to piss of Candice, Mom, and Chloe in the process,” I say. “Chloe and I have called Candi a whore so many times. I don’t know why she’s making such a big deal out of it.”
“I don’t know… Maybe because you said it on TV for everybody to hear. And trust me, EVERYBODY has seen it. They keep playing that clip over and over again,” he says. “And Candice is your sister — whore or not. You owe her an apology. And even then, I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t forgive you.”
I hadn’t really thought about Candice never forgiving me. I figured she would ignore me for a few weeks, as always, and then things would go back to normal. But maybe Aaron is right. I called her a WHORE on TV. And they’ve had the clip on repeat for a freaking week. I bet it hurts every time they play it.
Suddenly, I feel like the biggest bitch on the planet.
“Oh, God. I really was a bitch wasn’t I?”
Aaron nods. “You were.”
And that’s why I missed Aaron. He’s brutally honest. “I think you should move to New York. You take online classes anyway. You can move here and make sure I don’t do stupid stuff… Like call Candice a whore to the paparazzi.”
“I’ve never been able to control you. What makes you think it would be any different if I lived in New York? Besides, I have a feeling I would hardly see you. I bet you spend all your time with Tristan.”
“Not EVERYDAY,” I tell him. “Just Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights. And of cour
se all day Saturday and Sunday. So we could hang out on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Plus you could hang out with Tristan and I some.”
“My Char is in love with somebody else. I’m sad."
“I’ve had boyfriends before,” I tell him. “It isn’t the first time you’ve had to share me with another guy.
“Like I said before, you’re different with him. Even when you were dating Landon, you surfed with me every morning. And you stayed the night with me at least three times a week.”
“Yeah, Landon hated that.” Not that I can blame him. I would hate it if he stayed with some other girl. But Aaron and I have never been more than friendly, so it wasn’t like I was cheating. “But just so you know, you’re sleeping in a different bed than me tonight.”
“Lame. But I understand.”
“Good. Now let’s surf. I’m sick of his heavy talk.”
3pm
Materialistic.
After surfing, Aaron and I decided to chill by the pool. Tristan is coming back over soon, and until then I’m working on my tan. I’ve been getting far too pale living in New York City.
“How am I going to survive a winter in New York City?” I ask Aaron as he lights up a joint.
He takes a hit. “I think you’ll be fine. Before you came here I would have said that you were way too California, but now I think you’re going to be alright.” He starts to pass the joint over but I shake my head.
“I’m good,” I tell him.
“You don’t smoke anymore?” he asks.
“Not really. I haven’t since I moved to New York. It’s not that I think it’s bad or anything… I just don’t want to right now.”
He takes another hit. “Wow. You really have changed. Next you’ll tell me you’ve been sipping champagne, and making friends at that snooty private school you’re going to.”
“I went to a private school in California,” I remind him. So did he.
“It was different there.”
I roll my eyes. “It’s not different, and you know it. But no, I haven’t been sipping champagne. You know I don’t like to do that. A drink every now and then is fine, but I’m not going to drink every time there is a party or event. And I have made a friend. Layla Black. She is really sweet, and not at all snooty.”
“Sorry. I shouldn’t judge.”
“You don’t have the right to judge, Aaron. You live in Malibu. IN A MANSION. You’re one of the most spoiled eighteen year old’s I’ve ever met.”
Aaron laughs. “That’s just until you turn eighteen next month.”
I try not to laugh, but I can’t help it. “You suck.”
My phone starts ringing, and I look down to see my mom is calling.
“Ugh. It’s my mom. Probably going to yell at me.” I slide my screen. “Hello.”
“Charlotte,” she says in her fake-sweet voice. “It’s so good to hear your voice. I feel like we haven’t talked in forever.”
Maybe because we haven’t.
“What do you want?” I ask.
“You’re my daughter. Am I not allowed to call you and check up on you?”
“I’ve been here one month. The only time you’ve called it to tell me about Candice’s sex-tap, and to yell at me. I’m just wondering what’s up this time. You’ve never been the motherly type. Why pretend to be now?”
“Fine,” she says. “I was calling you for a reason.”
Duh. “And?”
“And I was talking to Chloe’s director. They got signed for another season. And next season they are going to introduce a new character — Spencer’s long lost half-sister. They think you’re the perfect person to play her,” she says. “And they want to do an audition in October.”
“I can’t come, Mom. I have school. Besides, you know I don’t want to be an actress.”
“October is after your birthday. You can come home, and you can go back to your old school. And it wouldn’t start until next fall, so you’ll be graduated,” she says. “Plus, wouldn’t you like to work with you big sister? You and Chloe have always gotten along so well.”
“No, Mom. I’m not doing it. I don’t want to.”
“Well if you want to live with me, you’re going to have to. I’m not going to let you be lazy and surf all the time.”
“I’m going to college.”
I hear my mom snort through the phone. “And how do you plan on paying for college?”
“Dad already told me he was going to pay for my college.”
“Of course he did.” I can literally feel her disapproval through the phone.
“You know, most parents would be happy if their kids went to college.”
“And most parents want their kids to go to college because there isn’t any other opportunity for them. You’re young and beautiful. Thanks to Chloe and Candice, you could do almost anything you want. You’re already photoed all the time. You’re practically a celebrity.”
“Well that might be okay for Candice and Chloe. But it’s not okay with me. It’s not what I want. I want more. I need more,” I tell her. Not that she will understand.
I hear my mother sob through the phone. “I just want what’s best for you. I want you to have the best. Candice has a lot of money. She’s about to buy her first house in Beverly Hills. And Chloe isn’t doing so bad either. She’s getting a big raise next season, and she’s filming a movie this summer.”
“That zombie movie?” I ask, excitingly.
“No. She turned that part down. She’s playing in an comedy-romance because it pays more.”
Because it pays more? That sounds like my mom, and not like Chloe. “But she’s been excited about that zombie movie for months now. I have a hard time believing she turned it down herself. Which means you pressured her into it. She’s never been able to tell you no.”
“Actually, this was all Chloe. The zombie movie was being filmed in Arizona, and I don’t think she wanted to be away from Phillip.”
Oh my gosh. Really? Chloe turned down her dream movie for a BOY? “Why didn’t you try and talk her into the zombie movie? That was the movie she really wanted and you know it.”
“Why would I encourage her to be away from her boyfriend for three months? Guys can’t be apart from a girl that long. He’d definitely cheat while she was gone.”
“Mom, are you serious?” I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. “So you did talk Chloe into the other movie, and I know it wasn’t because of Phillip. You’ve always taught us to be strong and independent without a man.”
“So you think I should encourage Chloe to do a movie that pays less? No way. I want what’s best for her. In the long run, this movie is what’s best,” she says. “Besides, I want grandchildren. That’s never going to happen if she never gets married.”
“Is it best for her, or is it best for you?” I ask. “You know what, don’t even answer that. I already know the answer. It’s best for you. You are the only person you care about. You’re so selfish. You want me to be a model or an actress so you get ten percent. But if I go to college you don’t get anything. As for your grandchildren, well you will be lucky if I even let you see my kids.”
“Stop being dramatic. That is not true. I just want what is best for my daughters.”
“It so is true.” I look up and see Tristan walking towards me. “Look Mom, I got to go. Call me when you figure out your priorities.” I end the call.
“Hey, Char,” Tristan greets me, smiling. “Was I right?”
I glare at him. “Maybe.”
“I so called it.”
“But you were wrong about one thing. I definitely don’t return the feelings. And I never will. Aaron and I are just friends. Forever,” I tell him.
Tristan smiles. “I’m glad I was wrong about that.”
Aaron gets out of his chair and walks over to us. “Was that your mom?”
“Who else?” I ask. “Just her trying to control my life. Even from over a thousand miles away. She will never be satisfied unless I’m a Candice c
lone.”
“She just loves you,” Aaron says.
I laugh. “I think you’ve smoked too much.”
“Nah man, I’m cool. You just don’t see it from her perspective. She doesn’t want you to fail, and if she’s controlling your future, you won’t fail.”
“Failure it a part of life,” I say. “She needs to let me grow up, and she really needs to let my twenty-four year old sister grow up.”
“Oh no. What happened?”
“She talked Chloe into turning down the zombie movie for a part in some comedy-romance movie because it pays more.”
“Your mom has always been materialistic. But really, can you blame her? She has lived a very materialistic life.”
“I’m going to agree with Charlotte on this one,” Tristan says. “I’ve been raised around all this, but my dad still wants what I want. If I told him I didn’t want to be apart of the business, he definitely wouldn’t make me. But honestly, if he made me, I wouldn’t want to. Since it’s my choice, I actually want it. I will enjoy working with my dad.”
“It would drive me crazy if I had to work with my dads.”
“Aaron wants to be a professional moocher,” I tell Tristan.
“This is true,” Aaron says. “I think I’ll be a college student forever.”
“You should actually go instead of doing online classes. Get the full college experience.”
“I might next year. I only did it so I could hang out with you more.”
“Whatever! You did it so you could sleep in.”
“That too.”
“Why didn’t I think of that?” Tristan asks jokingly.
“Best decision ever,” Aaron tells him. “I’m starved. We should eat something.”
“I know a really great pizza place,” Tristan says.
8pm
Apology.
We eat pizza, and then go to Tristan’s house. The basement of his house is basically a huge theater, and they hooked up a gaming system, so I’m pretty bored. I decided to use the time to call Candice. Aaron and Chloe are right. I do owe her an apology. When I call though, I don’t expect her to actually answer. She never answers a phone. But she does today. On the second ring.