And right now that was all he cared about.
The screen operator pulled up satellite images of the area surrounding the village. His face screwed up a little. “That looks like the outskirts, leading into the forest.”
A forest. Cover. It could mean only one thing.
Evan felt a pull at his heart. “Violet. That’s got to be Violet.”
There was only one person who would need to head into the forest during conflict. One person who would be easy to spot in the village. He only prayed that Violet had headed into the forest of her own volition and not under duress.
The thought that entered his mind horrified him.
He pressed the phone next to his ear. “Come back here, Jaja. Right now. Don’t stop. I need you to tell me everything you know.” He turned to someone else. “How far away is that village?”
One of the staff members signaled him and said, “Headquarters say you’ve to stay put. You’ve not to go to the village under any circumstances. They will try and find out more intel for us. In the meantime, all staff are to start packing. It’s likely they’ll pull us all out.”
Most of the faces in the room had paled. Imminent danger. That was the message from headquarters. They all knew what that meant.
You cleared out. You didn’t go back for team members. This wasn’t the military.
Evan let out a roar. His hand cleared the nearby desk of everything that was stacked on it. Several staff jumped out of their seats.
“I will not leave without Violet!” His voice filled the room, echoing in every corner.
He stormed out of the office into the corridor, his head pounding. No. No.
He couldn’t lose another team member. He couldn’t live with himself.
Not Violet. Not the one person in this world he couldn’t live without.
It didn’t matter if she hated him. It didn’t matter if she never forgave him. He could live with that. He could survive. As long as he knew that Violet was somewhere else in the world and safe.
That was all he could think about. That was all he could focus on.
Luke, one of the team members, approached him. “I’ve got the other truck ready. We’ll be ready to go in five minutes. We can meet Jaja en route. We can stop and get the intel we need from him before we get to the village.”
“What?” He tried to focus. Tried to see beyond the rage that was currently invading his head. He couldn’t believe his ears. Everyone had just been told to get ready to leave. The instruction had been clear. Everyone was to pack up and wait for the evacuation.
It didn’t matter to the haphazard plan that was currently igniting in his brain. He couldn’t ever ask any member of his team to do what he was about to do.
He could never let anyone risk their life for him, or for Violet. It was too much. Too much to ask of anyone.
He caught the dark arm next to him. “No, Luke. I can’t ask you to do that. I won’t ask you to do that. Pack up. Supervise the rest of the team. Wait for the call from Headquarters about the evacuation.”
Luke shook his head ever so slightly. There was no emotion in his voice. “You didn’t ask, Evan. You wouldn’t ask. But I won’t leave. I was in the military. I’m the right hand that you need. Now, let’s go get Violet.”
Evan couldn’t breathe. There was an iron fist gripped around his heart. He couldn’t let Luke do this with him. There was no way he’d be leaving without Violet, but the thought that another human being would knowingly walk into something they might not get back out of—for him, for Violet—was too much of a struggle.
His team leader instincts were screaming at him to keep everyone safe. He’d spent the past six years whispering that mantra to himself, ever since Helen’s death. Team safety meant everything to him. Sometimes to the detriment of the role of the DPA. Evan would never let team safety be compromised again.
This went against everything he believed in. It went against everything he lived for.
How could he accept help? Pictures of Helen’s weak body being held by her husband haunted his mind. His brain couldn’t even comprehend the risk.
He shouted some instructions to the other members of staff—to communicate with the villagers, to leave supplies of everything, to pack only essentials, to keep in constant contact with headquarters.
People were rushing past him. “Do you have a portable version of that?” He pointed to the GPS mapping system.
The analyst nodded and pulled a laptop out of the wall. “It’s fully charged. Press this and this. Refresh every five minutes.”
They were all the instructions he needed.
He strode back out toward the truck. Luke had positioned himself directly in front of it. Directly in Evan’s path. His large frame was blocking out the sunlight. “Ready?”
Evan hesitated. He was team leader. He should order Luke to pack and leave. But something was stopping him. Something was making him take stock.
And this wasn’t about Violet.
This was about all the things in life that couldn’t be controlled. That he couldn’t control. No matter how hard that was to accept.
Luke was making his own decision. A grown-up, adult decision to accompany a member of staff on a mission they might not return from. A mission to retrieve their colleagues.
He was an adult with his own free mind. Evan knew that if someone had told him he couldn’t try and rescue Violet, he wouldn’t have listened. Not for a heartbeat.
Why should Luke be any different? As a military man he probably understood the risks better than Evan ever could. But he was still here.
And in that instant Evan understood.
Understood that he had to accept the things he couldn’t control. He had to let Luke make his own decision. He wasn’t responsible for everything around him.
He was team leader. Not a ruler. Not a military commander.
He was one man. And there was only so much he could control. So much he could be in charge of. No matter how much he hated it.
And right now all of his thoughts were on Violet.
He extended his hand toward Luke. “Thank you. Thank you for your help.”
Luke shook his hand swiftly. “Let’s go.”
* * *
They’d been in the forest for just over an hour now. Violet tucked her watch back into her pocket.
She had no idea what was going on in the village right now. Was everyone safe? She couldn’t bear the thought that anyone from the village had been injured trying to protect and hide her and her team.
Urbi. What would have they done with her? Someone must have told them the midwife had been working with the American doctor. Would she be safe?
What about the men who had come into the village? Were they still there, waiting for her to reappear? Had they been able to identify her team among the villagers?
She didn’t even know what the men looked like. How many had there been? She’d only heard one voice. She’d heard the gunfire and the shrieks. Then the whispers that they were looking for her and wanted to kidnap her.
It was terrifying.
It didn’t matter that she’d had safety briefings. She hadn’t really believed they would be at risk. There had been no trouble in that area before and the truth was she’d always felt safe with the people in Natumba.
She hated that this had happened. She hated that this could put the polio program in jeopardy.
And she hated what this might be doing to Evan.
If it was possible, her blood would be running cold right now. He would be frantic—and in that state of mind there was possibility that he wouldn’t act rationally.
Evan could put himself in danger—for her, and for the rest of the team, and she couldn’t stand the thought of that.
She already knew that losing another
team member was his greatest fear. She couldn’t imagine the agony he was going through right now.
And he was the one person she wanted to talk to. It seemed almost ridiculous that she’d spent the past two weeks avoiding him. At any point she could have sat down with him and talked things out.
But no. She’d been too stubborn.
Her brain had still been mulling over what he’d told her. It had stung initially. That tiny second of deliberating whether he’d actually been to blame for Helen’s death.
Of course he hadn’t been. It was ridiculous.
But what was really obvious was that Evan had a way to go before he was ready to move on. She’d been deadly serious when she’d told him the first person he needed to forgive was himself.
She knew a lot about that.
She’d had a mountain to climb in order to forgive herself over her daughter’s death. There was no blame to apportion and sometimes that made it all the harder to move on. To take the step forward to a new life.
She really didn’t think she could handle someone else’s unjustified guilt when she’d just managed to walk away from her own.
There was a rustle of leaves right next to them. She jumped and Hasana’s eyes widened. She was in the grips of another labour pain—they were coming much quicker now—and she looked as if she wanted to cry out.
Hasana grabbed a piece of dry bark and pushed it between her teeth.
Violet felt as if she couldn’t breathe because even taking a breath made a little noise that someone might hear. That could reveal their position.
She put her fingers silently to her lips, praying that Hasana wouldn’t let a noise escape.
The leaves rustled again and Violet strained her ears. She couldn’t hear footsteps. She couldn’t hear voices. And somehow she didn’t think these men would come through the forest quietly if they were looking for her.
The rustle continued. Then a small reptilian head appeared, followed by a body slithering along the ground.
A snake. The rustle had been a snake.
Violet didn’t know whether to let out a sigh of relief or not. Was that type of snake poisonous?
She pointed with her finger and Hasana shook her head, gripping the tree bark with her teeth. A snake was the last thing on her mind right now.
Violet watched as the snake seemed to look in their direction once then slithered off without another glance.
Maybe bringing Hasana into the forest hadn’t been such a good idea.
She waited for a few more seconds, listening for any other noises. But there were none.
She placed her hands on Hasana’s belly. The baby was in the correct position. Its head had engaged and the labor seemed to be proceeding well. The baby was a good size. Maybe too big for a first-time mother?
Violet hoped not. She didn’t have access to a theatre if an emergency Caesarean section was needed. She didn’t even have access to a set of forceps if the baby’s head became stuck on the way down.
Hasana was going to have to do all this on her own.
She checked the position of the baby again. The head was crowning. It was time for Hasana to push.
Something washed over her. She was about to face her greatest fear all over again. Only this time the pain wouldn’t be hers, it would be someone else’s. She had to be strong. She had to be strong for Hasana.
She had to push all her thoughts and fears aside. She had to get through this.
Stillbirths weren’t unusual in Nigeria. But more than half of them occurred while the woman was in labor. Most happened in rural areas where skilled birth attendants or midwives weren’t available.
That hadn’t been the case for Hasana. But there were five major reasons for stillbirth. Childbirth complications, maternal infections, congenital abnormalities, fetal growth restriction and maternal disorders such as diabetes or pre-eclampsia.
Violet was running through all these in her head. The baby felt a reasonable size so there couldn’t be a fetal growth problem. Urbi had told her there had been no complications during the pregnancy, so she was assuming pre-eclampsia, diabetes and maternal infections were not a possibility. There was no way to know if there were any congenital abnormalities—not until the baby was born.
Back home in the U.S. women were screened for congenital abnormalities and things were often picked by obstetricians doing detailed scans. But Hasana had had none of these tests available to her. They wouldn’t be able to tell if something was wrong with the baby until he or she was born.
Hasana’s muscles contracted tightly again—another contraction. And Violet held up her fists and scrunched up her face, miming pushing.
Hasana let out a cry, pushing with all her might. The time for being silent had obviously passed. The baby’s head appeared between her thighs.
Violet’s actions were second nature. It didn’t matter that this baby was already dead. She’d gone back into junior doctor phase and was checking around the baby’s neck for a cord. There was nothing there. Nothing restricting the baby’s breathing. Nothing that could have led to its death.
Another push and the shoulders appeared, quickly followed by the rest of the slippery body. Violet caught the little baby in her hands, grabbing one of the blankets to wrap it in.
A baby boy. Hasana had a baby boy.
She wiped his little face. Praying against everything that he would breathe. But his pale lips against his dark skin showed that would never happen.
He was perfect. In every single way.
Her heart felt as if it could break all over again.
Hasana lay panting, exhausted after the delivery of her sleeping child.
There was no obvious congenital abnormality. No obvious reason for this baby to have been born asleep.
Just like hers. Just like her own daughter.
It didn’t matter that nothing here reminded her of home and her own experience. It didn’t matter that this forest floor was about as far removed from an Atlanta hospital as it was possible to be.
All that mattered was the perfect little boy in her hands. The little boy who should have been breathing.
She lifted him to her shoulder and held him for a few seconds. The umbilical cord was still attached, still making him part of his mother. She would deal with that in a few seconds.
She took a deep breath. Baby. New baby smell. It surrounded her in all its wonder. If only this moment could be different. If only she could be handing over a screaming baby to his mother.
She didn’t care about the potential kidnappers in the forest. She didn’t care about being silent anymore. She only wanted to will this little baby to life.
A single tear dripped down her face.
Life was so unfair. This little boy should be taking his first breaths. This little boy should be allowed to grow. He should have a life ahead of him.
He should be able to learn to crawl and to walk and talk. He should be part of a loving family. He should grow from childhood to teenage years, to adulthood. A life probably with intermittent hardships but a life worth living.
Instead, in her arms she had a silent, beautiful baby boy.
She helped Hasana sit up. She didn’t have syntometrine to inject and help with the third stage of delivery. She was lucky to have something to clamp and cut the cord.
There was no one to translate for her now. Hasana spoke mainly Hausa, and she herself only English. But, here in the middle of the forest, they would have to muddle through.
She handed over the baby to Hasana. “You have a beautiful son, Hasana.” She couldn’t help the tears that fell down her cheeks. Hasana would think she was crying for her son—and in a way she was. She was crying for every sleeping baby that had ever been born. As only a mother could.
She wrapped her arm tightly around Hasana’s sh
oulders, watching her embrace her little boy. She watched as Hasana dropped kisses on each of his eyelids and lifted his hands from the blanket and counted his tiny fingers.
It was almost as if she was embracing his perfection. The fact that in every way he looked like a healthy baby.
Her shoulders were racked with sobs and her tears soaked Violet’s buba shirt. The light was beginning to dim among the trees. But Violet didn’t want to pull her watch out and check the time.
Time here was more precious than anything. Hasana needed this time to spend with her son. To mourn his loss. To start the long grieving process that Violet knew inside out.
The hopelessness.
The despair.
The endless questions.
Everything would change once they returned to the village. Her family and friends would take over. Probably arranging a burial and blessing for the baby. Doing what they thought was best for Hasana.
But right now, right here, there was no need for any of that.
This was a time for mother and son to be together.
And although the rest of the world might not understand, this was the most precious time of all.
The one thing you could never get back.
And Violet had all the time in the world.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
LUKE PULLED THE truck over to the side of the road. “Now we go on foot.”
Evan’s eyes scoured the surrounding area. They hadn’t reached the village yet but the last thing he wanted to do was announce their arrival.
They’d met Jaja on the road. He’d been hysterical and had wanted to come back with them. But it was obvious he wouldn’t be of any use. He was jabbering incessantly and still shaking with fear. It had taken all Evan’s self-control not to shake him by the shoulders to get some sense out of him.
Finally, they’d managed to find out a little more. The men had arrived in the village around 3:00 p.m. There had been four of them, all in one truck. They’d fired shots into the air and had demanded to know where the American doctor was.
Jaja had been on the other side of the compound, next to the truck in which Violet and the rest of the community workers had arrived. He hadn’t had time to look for the others. He knew that Violet had been with the local midwife, Urbi, and the others working between houses in the villages. The armed men had been between Jaja and his colleagues. And as he’d jumped into the truck and sped away to raise the alarm, they’d fired at him. The evidence was all around the body of the truck.
THE MAVERICK DOCTOR AND MISS PRIM/ABOUT THAT NIGHT... Page 29