Sigrun wiped at her face, smearing away the blood and the tears. “We . . . decided that minimal intervention was best. So we thought that the best option was to . . . give everyone a better source of information. Sophia . . .” She shook her head. “Not even I believed Sophia. It’s difficult to trust the mad.”
So you awakened Prometheus.
“Yes. She went to awaken him, and I . . . came back here. To wait. If everything went well, I might wink out of existence, if I stayed in the mortal realm. Which would create a paradox. That . . . couldn’t be allowed. And literally, the next thing I know, you appear!” Her tone scaled up. “Carrying all these thoughts in your mind, all these memories that aren’t mine. It . . . it wasn’t supposed to happen that way. She was just going to wake him. She wasn’t supposed to be injured by a mad god.” Sigrun rocked a little on her heels, her shoulders shaking for a moment. “And in spite of it . . . everything still happened anyway.” She looked up, and her thoughts lashed out of her with the force of blows. You failed. Even provided with all the information, all the paths, you still failed. And worse yet . . . How could you do it? You can’t possibly be me. Or anything like me. How could you leave him?
Stormborn’s eyes narrowed. Adam, I assume you mean? Don’t presume to judge me.
“Who better to judge you, than me?” Sigrun’s voice was scathing. “You ascended so high, and you left everything you loved in the dirt—”
Stormborn lifted a finger, and the words died on the valkyrie’s lips. If you can judge me, then I can surely judge you. You are contemptible, stubborn, and weak. You refused to learn and grow. You refused to be everything you could become, and the world was lessened for it.
Seiðr was no part of me! I didn’t want it, and I wouldn’t use it.
That’s a child’s plaint. You wouldn’t carry a weapon that you did not know how to use, would you? That is what seiðr was and is, nothing more. A weapon and a tool, to be used in a skilled hand. Or something that makes you a target, if you carry it, and refuse to learn its uses.
I didn’t want it. The tone of the thought was angry. I never wanted any of it.
You had no choice about receiving it. You had only the choice of how to deal with it. I know. I rejected it, until Prometheus forced me to admit the truth. All you had was denial.
You denied it, too. Sigrun writhed a little, her expression contorting with pain. I couldn’t leave him. I couldn’t do that to him. You betrayed him, and left him—
We can sit here and debate the notion of equality in marriage, and if it’s acceptable to limit yourself or not, or we can acknowledge the fact that you stayed by his side until the end, and other than making him happy, in spite of his decaying body, it did no good at all. Ground already covered, valkyrie. Stormborn’s words were brutal, and Sigrun recoiled. He never told you about the scroll, as my Adam told me. Yours turned into a ravening beast, and almost killed you, sensing the power of the gods within you. She paused. You carry his child.
“If everything else Sophia blathered on about endlessly is true, then yes. Probably.” Sigrun rubbed at her face, wiping tears and gore away. “You’re pregnant too, you realize.”
Stormborn’s eyebrows lifted, and she seined a strand of her own awareness through her body and essence. Interesting. Even assuming a demanifested form seems not to have damaged the first few cells. Lassair had quite a bit of trouble figuring this out, as I recall.
“It’s not Adam’s, is it?” The tone remained accusatory.
That would have required something more of a miracle than I am capable of effecting.
“But yours . . . your Adam was healthier. Stronger . . . .”
My marriage died when I became what I am. Yours persisted in marginal intimacy, because you would not let yourself change. Stormborn’s voice faltered. I still love him. But it could no longer be.
She could feel the valkyrie tug at the skein of memories between them. “The father is . . . Nith?” Her tone was dumbfounded, and then she started to laugh, bitterly. “Oh, gods. Sophia would be so pleased. He matches some of her prophecy. Old enough to be your grandfather, and in some ways, since you are the inheritor of Hel’s power, he’s almost your son. He stands between death and life . . . . ” The valkyrie laughed harder as Stormborn’s expression hardened. And then, as the laughter shifted into tears once more, she gestured towards the highway of glass, as it headed towards the violet horizon. “I wonder how many other versions of myself are ahead of me on this damnable road. How many times I . . . we . . . have done this.”
Only once, I suspect. Sophia only saw two versions of events, which drove her even madder than before. Your future events, and mine. Stormborn revolved the problem in her mind. Your idea had its merits. And while I applaud you for restraint, and the concept of limited impact on the timeline, you and Hecate were not ambitious enough, I’m afraid. You tried to use a single thrown rock to knock a freight train off its tracks, and you did not remain involved. You threw the rock and ran, rather than staying in the Veil, where you could evaluate the effect of the rock, and adjust the course of events as needed. Such a task requires . . . an able, active gardener. Willing to prune and weed as needed. She paused. Or perhaps, instead of an absent father . . . an involved parent.
“How can you be so cold?” Sigrun demanded.
I am what you made me, Stormborn answered, her voice chilling. I made all the decisions that you were unwilling or unable to make. And now, I’m going to finish the task that remains undone.
How?
Loki called me Naglfar. The ship fated to carry humanity and the gods through the seas of Ragnarok. He was alive at the end of your timeline, and in the Veil. That is why he could pre-remember so much. He may or may not have lived to the end of mine . . . but we already know, from your memories, and mine, that gods like Jupiter, who died mere weeks before the end of your time, were alive once more, in mine. The alteration of the timeline is absolute for those who are in the timeline. And that is also why you still exist. Because you stand entirely outside of that timeline.
You will go mad. You will always find yourself here, at the end of time, and always turn back to try once more, for a perfect world. The valkyrie’s tone was defeated.
No. Because there is no such thing as a perfect world. I will not unmake my entire lifetime. I will not unravel the whole of human history. Those are false choices. Stormborn lifted her head, and stared at the universes, the timelines, unfolding off the slice of black road on which she stood. The desert, for her, was gone. All that remained was the coursing multiverse around her. I can see the parallel realities so clearly. Look with me. There is one, right there, where Trennus asked me out for coffee in Nahautl. The relationship began in Rome, deepening in intimacy. He was the one shot in the convention center, not Adam. And we married that same year. Stormborn’s lips quirked. He bound himself in Tawantinsuyu not to Lassair, but to Saraid. And while I could not have children, she could. The three of us were happy enough, and Lassair never became more than a house-spirit. None of Tren’s fire-born children exist. Adam married a nice Judean girl and became almost as conservative as his brother . . . but Kanmi and Min never met. Trennus and I retired from the Praetorians, and I never lived in Judea. Adam and Kanmi got on each other’s nerves fiercely without the rest of us to buffer them, and Kanmi never had Min in his life. Never found peace. He remained angry, and embittered, and he actually did become a member of the Carthaginian Liberation Party. He led them. And that world . . . well, it looks as if they overcame the mad godlings. Adam’s godslayer self killed Trennus, and he awakened from the madness after killing many of the godlings, only to realize he’d murdered his best friend . . . and right there, yes, he shoots himself with Caliburn.
Sigrun had turned away, covering her face and weeping. Stormborn regarded the images flowing past with distant interest. Real, yet not real. It wasn’t her reality. Her reality was the only one that mattered to her. So, humanity survives, but there’s only a few million humans left ther
e, and they’re all starting over again with more or less the steam engine. So no. I cannot go back endlessly, redoing things. And with these other universes as a guide, I can judge better what to do, and what not to do. She turned and glanced at the valkyrie. I will make no choices that would lead to me betraying Nith’s trust in me, his faith in me. And I will start with small things. Preventing Livorus’ death, to allow the former lictors a little more power. Changing the events around Baal-Hamon’s death, so that the mad godlings are not created . . . or at least, are significantly weakened. Stormborn put her arms around her otherself. She could see it so clearly, rolling out before her. I will bring Aeva to Juno and Pluto, so that they might see their daughter, and the richness of the lives they might have. And I doubt Jupiter will bind them any longer after they see her face. I will bring Ciele to Skadi and Njord, so that the gods of Valhalla have proof of my words. I will ensure that all those whom I love, that I can bring to the Veil . . . will be in the Veil, before I change time. And I will wed them to their otherselves, when the time is right. So that nothing is lost. Nothing is forgotten. She paused, and added, I will even see to it that the Sigrun who walks the mortal realm saves Sophia from the centaurs. I will knit Sophia’s mind whole, and I will tear Apollo of Delphi’s grip from her. If he attacks me for it, I will execute him, and give his power to Sophia as a gift. Possibly with a bow to adorn it.
You are arrogant and cold. Sigrun pulled away from her, standing to turn and face the violet horizon to the east.
I have power. I know how to wield it, and when not to wield it. And I am the only person left who can. The choice of the valkyrie is not made, and then forgotten. Choices must be made continuously.
The gods will protest. They will band together against you, eventually, if they believe you have too much power.
Stormborn considered it. Possibly. But they will probably accept my vow of non-intervention, once we have reached an acceptable future. She sighed. I have already accepted that my fate must take me away from many of those whom I love. If I must be exiled from the world, in order to save it? If I may never feel its breeze on my cheeks again, feel the passage of time, interact with anyone besides those who seek me in the Veil? Or, if I enter the universe, that I must do so on other worlds, explore beyond the stars, and blaze a path for humans and spirits yet to follow? Stormborn’s eyes filled with tears. If, in return, Maccis’ eyes will never know the bleakness of a world without hope, without future? If he has the chance to run on a Mars terraformed by science and magic, and Zaya is alive to run with him? If, in return, all the children of my friends have the chance to live their lives in a world that is not tearing itself to pieces around them? I choose exile, and do so with a heart so light, it might dance on a sunbeam. She paused, and added, quietly, And I know I will not be alone. The soul-bond buried under her breastbone still pulsed, gently. She knew that, somewhere distant, Nith still lived. She consciously gentled her tone. You can still help, Sigrun. You can still make it right, for everyone.
The valkyrie buried her face in her hands. I can’t face it. I can’t face him. I can’t do it all over again. I don’t have the strength.
Stormborn reached down, and took her by the hands, lifting the valkyrie to her feet. She brushed the tangled, matted hair out of the face of her double, and said, gently, It’s all right. I do.
She put her arms around her former self, and Muginn cawed and leaped off the valkyrie’s shoulder, landing on Stormborn’s right shoulder, balancing opposite Huginn, who already perched on the left, and then both launched themselves to circle overhead.
Sigrun put her head on Stormborn’s shoulder, and wept. Let go. Surrendered. Her outline wavered and dissolved. Faded into a sphere of energy, nestled in the palm of the goddess, with a tiny point of light inside of it. She studied it tenderly for a moment, before dissolving her armor, and tucking the spark into her bodice, just at her heart. I will give you and your memories to the next Sigrun. And like the one whose name we bear, perhaps her third chance at life will be the best. I will remain the goddess. She may choose her own way. Mortality. Divinity. Something in between. Nothing will be lost. Nothing will be forgotten. Not this time. She looked at the two ravens, as they circled over her head. Follow me. She paused. We’re going back.
FINUS
Appendix I: Geographical Information
Asia
Korea
Seorabeol — Seoul
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Nippon
*Edo — Tokyo
*Hokkaido Island
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Qin
Beijing —Capital of Qin
*Llasa — Capital of the Tibetan Protectorate of Qin
Europa
Geographical features
*Áhkká — Mountain in far northern Sweden; site of an entrance to Valhalla
Haemodae — Shetland
*Mount Parnassus — Mountain in Hellas. Location of the Corycian Cave.
Orcades — Orkney islands
*Pielinen — Lake in Fennmark
Sequana river — Seine
*Taunus mountains, Greater Feldberg and Smaller Feldberg — Located in Hessen, Germany
Tamesis river — Thames
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Britannia
Subprovinces
Cantium, petty kingdom — Kent
Caledonia, petty kingdom — Scotland
Cymru, petty kingdom — Wales
Eboracum, petty kingdom — York
Kernow, petty kingdom — Cornwall
Umbria, petty kingdom — Northumbria
Cities
Dhu Rinn —Durness
Dubrās — Dover
Inbhir Nis — Inverness
Londonium — London
Tarvodubron* (“Bullwater”) — Current capital of Caledonia. (Thurso)
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Continental Gaul
Named Subprovinces:
Aquitania (Southern France)
Belgae (Belgium)
Tarraconnensis, Lusitania, and Baetica (Iberian Gaul)
Isle of the Blessed — Madeira
Cities:
Carthaginensis — Cartagena, Spain
Lucentum — Alicante, Spain— Seville, Spain
*Lutetia Parisiorum — Paris
*Toxandria — Campine, Belgium
Valentia — Valencia
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Germania
Agrippinensium — Cologne/Köln
*Frankonovurd am Main —Frankfurt
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Raccia
Kiev — Kiev
Novgorod — Novgorod
Moskva — Moscow
Varangkov — St. Petersburg
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Rome
Lilybaeum — Marsala, Sicily
*Rome
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Other locations in Europa
Athens — City in Hellas
Argos — City in Hellas, noted for claiming to have the tomb of Prometheus
Cimbri — Denmark
Delphi — City in Hellas, home of the Oracle
*Gotaland — Southern Sweden
Jönköping, capital city (Jönköping, Sweden)
Mjölby, city on northern border. (Mjölby, Sweden)
Ostrogotia (eastern province of Gotaland)
Fennmark — Finland
Lieksa— City in Fennmark (Lieksa, Finland)
Turku — Capital of Fennmark (Turku, Finland)
Polania — Poland
Caesaria Aquilonis (North America)
Geographical features
Aeturnus Flumenis — Mississippi river
Apalachen mountains — Appalachian mountains
Bláthach Peninsula — Florida
Lake Caestus — Lake Michigan
Lake Erielhonan — Lake Erie
Lake Monache — Mammoth Lakes
Mannahata — Manhattan Island
*Mitsi'adazi (or Goldeseasteð) — Yellowstone, river and region
Muhheakantuck — Hudson River
Nivalis mountains — Sierra Nevada mountains
Ohio Flumenis — Ohio river
Saxetae mountains — Rockies
Tó Baʼáadi river — Rio Grande
Yohhe'met — Yosemite
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Novo Germania, cities and notable landmarks
*Burgundoi — San Francisco
Odinhall
Ceasterhild Brycgian (Citygate Bridge – Golden Gate Bridge)
Pellicane Island — Alcatraz island
Cimbri-on-the-Caestus — Chicago (Sigrun’s birthplace)
Duwamish — Seattle
Frisii – Montreal
Marcomanni – Cincinnati
*Nova Trier — New York
Statue of Odin and his ravens in Muhheakantuck Harbor
The Goddess Embraced Page 178