by Debra Kristi
“What is it?”
“Nothing really. Just thinking. I think this saying is rather appropriate.” This one’s going on my corkboard.
“Told you. Magic.” She bumps my hip, and we continue down the hall.
“What are you two up to?”
We pause. Ry is standing at the hallway’s edge.
“Didn’t you hear my magic chocolate? I’m going shopping.” Crystia playfully lights up. “You know you wanna come, Ry.” She winks at me. Ryland stands stoic and silent. “No? All right, I’m gone.”
“Wait!” I grab her wrist, and she stares at me. “Can we talk later?” She nods, slips from my grasp, and disappears into her room.
Alone in the hallway with Ry. Awkward.
He takes slow, deliberate steps toward me, and then stops. “What happened last night, Ana? I called your mom. She told me you made it home safe, that you were sleeping. But this morning...” His brows furrow. “Look at you. All these bruises.” He takes another step closer. “Don’t tell me you’re okay. This can’t be okay.”
I shrug it off, head for my room. “Honestly Ry, I’m fine. There’s nothing for you or my mom to worry about. Probably some weird reaction to a new chemical used in the pool.” I glance over my shoulder. Skepticism colors the lines of his face. Then it hits me. I whirl around and throw my hands on my hips. “You called my mom? I can’t believe you! You were checking up on me? It’s not your job to watch over me.”
He steps across the threshold into my room, locks me in a stare, and jabs his pointer finger at me. “I disagree. It is my job to look after you. To look after all of you.” He whirls his finger in the air, making a circle. “If I can’t look after the people I care about most in this world, what good am I?”
“Dammit, Ry!” I slam my fists into his chest. He catches them. Holds my hands hostage. I have no play, no wiggle room. “Why?”
“Do I need a reason to care? You guys are my family.”
I squint at the pain those words prompt, realizing for the first time my family fills the void his absentee parents left in his life. My head spins. I don’t know what to feel, how to act.
His grip loosens, and I pull away, walk to my closet, sighing.
“What are you doing?”
“Looking for something to wear,” I say, more to the stuff in my closet than to him.
Then I’m no longer studying my wardrobe options. Ry has wrapped his hand around mine, pulled me away, and now leads me to the bed. Butterflies explode into flight inside my gut, and we take a seat, side by side. He starts to pull his hand away, but I tighten my grip, holding him with me. He allows it.
“Ana, I don’t know what happened, and you don’t have to tell me. I just hope you know you can always talk to me. I only want what’s best for you. Today, I think that would be staying home and getting some rest. Under the circumstances, it won’t do you any good to push yourself.”
“Seriously? You think I should rest? I never rest. If I stay home I’ll miss my kenpo lesson.” I stare at him in disbelief. I may push myself, but he has always been right there, making sure I stick to the plan. When and where did he get body-switched?
“Missing one day won’t hurt. Seeing you like this is, well...I don’t want it to happen again.” He snakes his hands free and pats the top of mine.
“Yeah? You care?” I try to sound like one of those women in a late-night movie. Hoping last night was a mistake, and he really is interested.
“Of course I do. I thought you’d know that by now.”
“I mean, really care. About me?” I lean toward him, and my heart thunders so loud I can hardly hear my own words. My hand bravely advances across his cheek and back around his neck, pulling him to me. My eyes wandering to his lips, his beautiful, inviting lips. I don’t know what I’m doing or why I’m doing it, but I don’t stop.
Something fights the flow, forces me back to the bed. “Ana, no.” Ry’s hand clasps my shoulder. “I’m sorry, but no. I love you—but not like that.”
I avert my eyes, unable to look at him. Twice now I’ve humiliated myself.
He jabs my shoulder. “Don’t be like that. You’re everything to me. We’re the best of the best.”
I muster a smile. He’s always saying that. It’s his way of calling us best friends. “Yeah.”
His hand wrestles with mine in a ridiculous handshake he once saw in some silly movie on television. “You should rest. I’ll get you some tea before I go. I promise to check on you later.” He turns and leaves, throwing me a thumbs-up before disappearing out the door.
Gathering the covers in my arms, I want to throw them over my head, disappear. I can’t believe I made such a fool of myself. Again. I never should have listened to Crystia. It’s not like I’m even into Ry like that.
My head throbs and my muscles rebel, hating every minute shift. I fall back on the bed and hide beneath the covers. When Ry returns with my tea, I pretend he can’t see me. The mug drops onto my nightstand with a muffled thump, signaling how near he is. He mentions the drink and says his goodbye, then quietly slips out the door. Now I’m alone with the things haunting my dreams. I squeeze my eyes tight and thrust away the terrors—things Dreya is responsible for.
Only after I hear the outer door slam and Ry’s car drive away do I throw back the covers and sit up. I swoop up the hot mug, let it warm my hands, and contemplate the mess I’ve made, while sipping absentmindedly on the passion fruit tea.
Hefty yawns assault me, and I eye the tea suspiciously. My head weighs a ton. So does the cup in my hand. The room is starting to spin. Carefully, I navigate the mug toward the nightstand with a clumsy arm. The cup knocks against the sideboard with a clang, sloshing tea across my hand, the lamp, the table. I don’t care. I crave only sleep. Collapsing backward onto the bed, I stare at the spiraling walls of my room, and for a split second, I think I spy Ry in the doorway before I lose the battle with my laden eyelids.
Institutionalized education. Does anyone actually look forward to school? I don’t. Especially not after Skylar’s antics on Friday. She’s been finding ways to make my life miserable since kindergarten, and it’s only gotten worse since the Carrie prank. I bet it’s one of her favorite pastimes. Part of me wants to stay home and hide forever, but I won’t. I need to stand up to her eventually. This year is as good as any. Just not today. Today will be about facing my fellow classmates after Skylar flashes her pictures.
I have no doubt that’s what Skylar’s attack will be this time: pictures. All those lights reflecting in my face and the cherry ice splattering all over me. Yeah, that’s her angle. I sigh. It seems the gods never tire of torturing me. Thanks for nothing, Gaea! I clench my fist.
Crystia and I are in the kitchen downing a hurried breakfast when the sound of a familiar engine rumbles out front. We gather our gear. I swallow one last swig of juice, and with it, any cowardice about facing Skylar and the rest of the student body.
Crystia tosses out her bagel, and we shuffle toward the door. The only redeeming quality I see to this day is showing up to school in Ry’s classic, cherried-out 1971 Plymouth Barracuda with its high-gloss black paint, red racing stripe, cool hood scoop, darkened windows (totally not to code, but we won’t tell), and badass tires. The car is always spotless.
“I call shotgun!” Crystia proclaims, running across the driveway.
I let out a heavy sigh and follow, shuffling my feet to delay facing Ry. If I find out he messed with my tea, I’ll punch him. Even if it was the best night’s sleep I’ve ever had…and I feel pretty good. Even look better. Damn bruises are fading faster than I thought they could. I mentally frown, then actually frown at the back of Ry’s head when I slip into the car. But no amount of tea could have anything to do with my physical state, right?
Soon, we’re on our way. Houses are blurring past, school and the inevitable confrontation growing uncomfortably close. I lean forward and engage Crystia. “How was Caesar?”
“He’s fab. Wish you had come by.”
/>
“Who’s Caesar?” Ry glances at us, trying to follow the conversation. “You get a new boyfriend I don’t know about?”
“No, silly.” Crystia laughs. “He’s one of the cats from the Feline Preservation Center.”
Ry stares out the front window. “Oh.”
I suppress a smile, able to feel his immediate disinterest all the way in the backseat.
Crystia flips around to face me and fires a question back. “What’s today’s horoscope?”
I hide my face in my lap, avoid her probing. “Nothing of interest.”
“That’s not going to work with me. Give it up.”
“I forgot to check.”
She giggles. “Which is it? You forgot to check or it isn’t interesting? Those are conflicting answers.”
A smile tugs at my lips, and I glance at the back of Ry’s head. She catches my meaning and darts her eyes in his direction. But like Oscar when he’s hungry, she’s not giving up so easily. She signals me to whisper. Ry’s attention is on the road and not us. I prefer he stay that way and out of the conversation, so I lean closer to Crystia, pinching the space between us.
“It said, ‘Look for love in unexpected places,’” I whisper, barely loud enough for her to hear.
She mulls over my words for half a second before her mouth warps into a large oh. Her head tilts toward Ry, and I respond with a big no to that. Thoughtful, she plops back in her seat, facing front again. The idea of me finding love in this small town is absurd. With my hideous birthmark, what boy would look twice? If the chocolate message is truly magic, it can only refer to Dohlan.
Family outside of the institution, it’s separate ways once on school grounds—mostly. That’s because Crystia’s a junior, and Ry and I are seniors. My locker is across the quad from Ry’s and in a completely different area from Crystia’s altogether. Different classes mean little interaction throughout the day.
Today I’m physically present but mentally absent, sitting through classes in a trance. There’s a lot on my mind. I’ve managed to make a mess of my relationship with Ry, for one. Then there’s my death dream experience and insane idea I have a grand destiny. Even though the crazy mystic hasn’t bothered to tell me what that destiny is yet. Pile that on top of my general sleep deprivation, and my thoughts are all a-wander. Yesterday’s extra rest did little to help, and trouble finds me in math class when the teacher calls on me. I don’t hear him. I’m trapped in a bog. Too busy thinking about Kaia and Dreya fighting. Oh, and let’s not forget my fabulous new bruises that have somehow miraculously faded overnight. They’re practically unnoticeable, thank Gaea. They would look hideous in my swimsuit later, for swim class. Far too many questions would be asked.
The bell rings, class disperses, and everyone heads off in different directions. I turn into the open-air quad, straight into another appalling picture of me. Twisted face, cherry-splattered shirt. Great. I rip it off the wall and crumble it, then the ground yanks out from under me. I teeter, drop the wad of paper, and grasp the wall for support. The school, other students, it all fades into a mesh of nothing. All that’s left is him. The guy from the Farmers’ Market.
He looks right at me. His piercing stare squeezes my breath away. I clutch my books, hold on to them as if my life depends on it, and suck back until I find air. His eyes—they really are a deep jade. He has to be my green-eyed-boy from Hiddenkel, but how can that be so?
My thoughts turn muddled, incomprehensible. And I can’t make my body act, just like being trapped in Kaia’s body. I want to, don’t want to stand still staring like a love-struck puppy, but I’m disoriented, dizzy, and the air around me is humming. And then my knees give out. I’m falling. In a flash, he’s beside me, hands upon me, steadying me. The warm scent of cedar wafts around him and embraces me. It’s electric, and it renders me speechless.
“Are you all right?” His velvet words warm my soul. Not a hallucination. He’s real. He’s really here.
It’s all I can do to stare and nod. An unusual sensation tingles around me, tugs at me, tugs me to him. Can he feel it too?
“Ana! What happened?” Leave it to Ryland to interrupt my magical moment. “I got this,” Ry says to the guy—Ry sees him! Holy shitting Gaea! He’s real!—and takes my hand. To my dismay, the guy releases me without hesitation. My heart skips a beat.
Skylar saunters up, her hateful eyes narrowing in on me. Her arms wrap around the guy from the Market. My stomach churns, and lava races up my throat. I didn’t think it possible, but I dislike her even more now.
“There you are, handsome,” she coos, throwing me a nasty glare. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” She plays with his shirt collar. “I missed you, Jaden-baby.”
The edge of his lip twitches, curving upward, before he whispers in her ear. I’m going to be sick. Covering my mouth and clutching my stomach, I toss myself in the direction of the bathroom.
“Ana?” Ry calls after me.
I don’t answer. Can’t answer. For fear of vomiting in front of the entire school.
Five deep breaths, I take them slow and steady and lean against the sink, pressing my cold, white fingers into the porcelain. It doesn’t help. What just happened is all I can think about.
About his strong arms catching me. About how he’s Skylar’s. I shouldn’t be surprised.
I stare in the mirror, rolling his name around in my head. Jaden. Since when did he start coming to my school?
It was Jaden in my vision the other night at the school pool, not Ry. He was the one I held in my arms. The one dying. My heart beats like a wild attack on the drum. Problem is, he’s with Skylar. I can’t think of a worse scenario. Every muscle in my body is strapped with weights. I can’t stay, see out the day, and subject myself to more Skylar-Jaden spectacles. I need to leave, clear my head. A plan formulates. One involving hiding in the bathroom and ditching class.
A toilet flushes, and one of the stall doors swings open. I recognize the girl immediately. Her black makeup and hair, very emo, very freeing. Her pale skin makes her look like a porcelain doll. She walks to the sink, her gaze flicking over me, scrutinizing me.
“You okay?” she asks, washing her hands and sounding disinterested in my answer.
“I’ll be fine.” I lean against the sink. “Breanna, isn’t it?”
“You can call me Bree.” She wrinkles her nose and pivots to face me. “You’re Ana. Are you sure you’re all right? I’m getting a funny vibe off you.” Her hand flies in the air around me, emphasizing her words.
“Vibe? Is that some sort of thing you do?” My gaze drops to the pendant around her neck.
It’s one I made a long time ago, before I understood the real power of each crystal. I probably shouldn’t have sold the one she now wears. It’s potentially dangerous in the wrong hands, magnifies the wearer’s influence and power threefold.
She catches me staring, and her hand flutters to the pendent. “This is your work.” It’s not a question. “You’re very talented. Since I started wearing it, my energy has been absolutely astounding.”
My face flushes. “Thanks.” An awkward lull drops into the conversation.
She heads for the exit. “It’s safe now. Come on.”
“What do you mean?” I follow her.
“I’m blowing this institution. Thought you wanted to do the same. Right now we have a clear shot to the parking lot.” She walks off school grounds with a heavy foot.
At the front of the school, we part ways. I wander to the outskirts and find a comfortable spot under a shady tree to wait out the final bell. I’m anxious to leave and keep my mind focused by throwing myself into my usual afternoon training routine. I need my ride, though, so I stay. Butt on the grass and back against the tree, the sun’s warmth is soon lulling my body to sleep. The school vanishes—
—and I sit on a wooden bench carved from a fallen tree.
Kaia runs toward me, her eyes bright. “Ana!”
Last time I was with her, I was her, and we died
. She died. I run to meet her, crash into her as if we’ve been separated for months, our warm embrace delightfully wrapped in the sweet scent of fresh sterling roses.
I step back to admire her. “I missed you.”
Her face glows with her radiant smile. I crave the fantasy. Not her death, but to have her as a sister.
“It’s a beautiful day. Walk with me.” She takes my hand, and we walk, the world around us shifting and shimming, changing gradually as we go.
For a few minutes, we meander in silence, listen to the birds sing, and enjoy each other’s company. The woodlands of Hiddenkel are always magical. This time, the altering images keep me grounded in the fact I’m dreaming.
I break the silence with what I think will be light conversation. “So, a boyfriend, huh?”
Kaia faces me, sorrow carved deep into her features. “The other night is unforgivable. I had no idea, and I would never...” She grabs my hands. “You should never have to...” She keeps halting, tripping over the words. “I am so sorry, Ana. There is nothing else I can say.”
I free my right hand and wipe the tear from her cheek. “I know you’d never purposely put me through that. The past is the past. Let’s leave it there.” A gentle tug gets her walking again. The guilt is not hers, and she should be free from it. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. How come you never told me?”
“It was not your burden to bear.”
I sigh at her selflessness. “And the boy?” I hope she won’t avoid the question again.
“I loved him very much. It ended too soon.”
We meander into the woods, toward the sound of a running stream.
“The meadow.” The words practically burst off my lips, jumping from my thoughts.
“What about it?” she says.
“It was full of Nerine lilies. I’ve never seen anything like it. So beautiful.” It can’t be coincidence the same flower Mom is named after grows like a weed where Kaia, her supposed eldest daughter, meets her lover.