by Debra Kristi
“I see.” He brushes the edge of my cheek. “Your mother, this is understandable. And this Crystia, she is a friend?”
Dohlan prods, searching for answers. I cannot refuse.
“Sister,” I whisper into his chest.
“I understand.” It’s clear he really does. “Ana, you’re not thinking clearly.” He runs his lips down the side of my face, and I shiver. “You have one sister there, another here. The one here cannot join you there. Who is to say the one there could not come here?”
A memory of Crystia standing beside the wooded lake flashes before me. Then his words, sister here.
“You’re talking about Kaia?” I shove him away, my defenses rising like a prickly wall. I don’t trust him. Don’t want him corrupting my sister.
“Indeed I am. Stay here, and you will be with Kaia.” His hand plays at my waist, attempting to lure me back into his embrace, only I won’t allow it. The spell has been broken.
“What do you know of Kaia?”
Something flickers across his eyes each time I mention her name, but it’s gone too abruptly for me to comprehend.
“I know of her. Join me, Ana.”
“Where is here? What are you?” Fire rushes to my face, and my muscles tense. I ache to lash out. I clench my fists.
In silence he stands, watching me lose my temper. One glance at him makes it more arduous for me to concentrate on why I’m upset. My mental training tells me his effect on me is a sign of evil. There’s something not right about him. I just can’t put my finger on it.
Oh Dohlan, my Dohlan. Not my Dohlan, after all.
Why isn’t he answering me? He studies me pacing like a caged hyena in the zoo. I’m afraid to spare him even one glance, for fear my brain will turn to fuzz. I need Kaia. Need to talk to her. Where is she?
Too much stress, I can’t breathe.
He’s smirking at me. Evil.
“Kaia!” I yell with all my might.
The ruins crumble, fade from sight. The last thing I see is Dohlan raising his brow, a cocky grin decorating his face. And yet, there’s a hint of sadness.
The room is covered in shadow, only the light of pre-dawn sneaking in through the window. I shouldn’t be awake, but I am. I imagine Dohlan in the flickers of light. My feet kick, fight to untangle from the bed sheets, to escape the asphyxiation of his capture. I hear Mom making her morning tea and Ry’s not-so-quiet car in the driveway. What’s he doing here? I’m half-tempted to get up and investigate. Except, fatigue keeps me motionless. I lie still, listening to their muffled voices, unable to distinguish much.
Rolling onto my back, I stare at the ceiling’s clean canvas. It’s not odd Jaden showed up in my dream, is it? The clock on my nightstand tells me I have forty minutes before the alarm goes off. I’m not sleeping anyway, so I roll out of bed and shuffle to the bathroom.
I have zero interest in today’s morning prep. Covering the increasingly dark circles under my eyes and adding the minimal amount of color to brighten my face is all I bother with. Throw my hair is a simple twist and clip, and minutes later I’m headed down the hall toward the kitchen. My stockinged feet pad on the carpet like Oscar’s petite paws.
Their murmurs carry faintly, growing louder as I move closer. With how softly Mom and Ry are talking, it’s surprising I heard anything at all back in my room. My name is mentioned, and my steps falter. It’s not like I was trying to be stealthy, but I wasn’t exactly loud. I listen closer, and it takes me a minute to realize they’re talking about me and not to me. Curiosity piqued, I tiptoe to the side of the kitchen door and flatten myself against the wall.
The room beyond is hushed, and I imagine Ry listening, trying to catch a creak or breath. Anything that will betray my presence. After a couple seconds, their conversation resumes. I sigh. My approach has gone undetected. Even from where I melt into the wall, so close to the kitchen, their words are difficult to discern. Clearly, they’ve no desire to be heard.
“She’s getting worse,” Mom says, words weighed with worry.
“You speak as if it’s a condition. We knew this would come eventually.”
Ry knows Mom’s secret? Am I the only one in the dark? I slide down the wall, press my ear against it, and drive my palm to the shudders developing in my chest.
Muffled sounds in the kitchen stir my interest. I’m tempted to peek. But fear of getting caught prevails.
“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of her. I always do. I’d do anything for her. For you,” Ry says.
What does that mean? I inch closer to the door. Does Ry have feelings for my mom? Seconds of silence, and my imagination kicks into overdrive. I wish I could blend with the wall, see through to the other side. Instead, I stay hidden against the barrier, my pulse participating in an Olympic race.
“Maybe it’s time we leave,” Ry says.
“Is that what you think we should do?” Mom sounds tired, and I almost feel sorry for her.
It’s unclear what they’re talking about, but I don’t like it. Leave, as in run away? Run away together? That can’t be it. I don’t understand.
“I don’t want to take her there. She didn’t ask for this.” Mom’s voice cracks.
Take me where? Oh my Gaea! My head thumps against the wall. An institution, that’s what they’re talking about. It must be. I really am crazy. It’s the dreams. I can’t take another minute of this.
Playing it cool, I stand and casually swing through the doorway. “Morning. Is there coffee?” I mumble, attempting to appear tired. Like I just got up. Like I haven’t been eavesdropping on their every word.
Mom and Ry are standing too close for comfort. In an instant, they spring apart. Were they holding hands? I pretend not to notice.
I shuffle to the pot and fill the largest cup I can find.
“What are you doing up so early, sweetheart?” A tremor of concern laces Mom’s voice. It’s not like she just got caught doing something she shouldn’t.
I fish the creamer out of the refrigerator. “Couldn’t sleep.”
She comes and stands beside me. “More bad dreams?”
“Something like that. I’d prefer to get on with my day at this point.” I glance between my mom and Ry. He’s got a goofy look on his face, but I know he’s studying me, watching me intently. I’m like the prey caught in the sights of a hawk. I raise my chin to him. “What you lookin’ at?”
“You,” he replies. “You’re a mess.” His lips curve into a smirk. “I just want to…” He wiggles his hands like he’s messing my hair from afar.
Something ignites inside me. “You’re a jerk, you know that?” I snatch the kitchen towel and throw it at him.
Laughing, he throws his hands up in defense. The release makes me feel slightly better, but I have to get in one last jab. “Jerk.” I follow my insult with a forced laugh, then drop my face and stare at my cup.
He returns the towel to the counter, neatly folded. His hand wavers in the air with uncertainty, as if he doesn’t know what to do and wants to comfort me. He opts to brush it through his hair, instead. “All right. Message received.”
I lean against the counter’s edge, sipping my coffee. He looks completely uncomfortable—good. I suck back my emotions, pretend I’ve got something stuck in my eye.
“Glad you’re up,” Ry says. “So I can tell you myself. I won’t be able to take you to school today.”
“What?” I play-whine. “You suck. Whatcha up to?”
“Just taking care of a few things. I’ll miss the first few classes but be there in time to see you hit the water.”
I stick my tongue out, and then hide in my coffee.
“Well, better get going. Catch ya later.” Shaking his head, silently laughing, he makes way for the side door. “Ms. Janssen.” He two-finger salutes my mom.
“Good day, Ryland, and good luck.” What’s that supposed to mean? Good luck with what? What are they up to? Ry’s no sooner out the door than Mom turns to me. “I wanted you to get a good night’s rest. T
his isn’t healthy. Why are you up so early?”
“I’m fine, Mom. What I want to know is what’s going on between you and Ry.”
She wavers. “There’s nothing going on. Whatever do you mean?”
“I heard you, Mom. You’re going to take me somewhere. There’s something wrong with me, isn’t there? You’re going to send me away. Have me examined. Aren’t you?”
She hugs me tight to her chest. “Why on earth would you ever think that? There is nothing wrong with you, and I would never, ever send you away.” She steps back and locks me in her gaze. “You understand me, Anala?”
“Sure.” My voice is small and my heart, restless. “But I heard you.”
“You heard wrong.” Her sharp look cuts off all further words.
“Good luck avoiding Jaden.” Crystia waves bye and heads toward her locker.
I roll my eyes, understanding her true meaning. She thinks Jaden and I should hook up. Crystia, forever playing the matchmaker. School’s difficult enough without outside interference and ever-growing distractions.
Despite my sister, or maybe because of her, my eyes wander everywhere throughout the day, searching for Jaden. By last period, when time finally comes for swim class, my palms are sweating. Ry will be there, and I so want to feel comfortable around him again. Getting there. At a slug’s pace.
In the locker room, I stall, taking care to place my crystal wristband at the back of my locker, wrapping it securely in my shirt so nothing scratches or cracks the stone. Coach and Ry are deep in conversation when I enter the pool area. I make a beeline for the water, muster my courage, and drop into the pool.
Like a stone, I plummet to the bottom and sit. Consider it water meditation. Having trained to hold my breath for extended periods, I let everything drift away and find a place of serenity. All that is left is the usual muffled sounds of the water.
Puteri.
My eyes bolt open. With the pulse of a jackrabbit, I search for the source of the sound. I’m alone, of course. It’s silly to think someone would be down here talking to me. I glance up, see Ry at the pool’s edge, watching and waiting. He waves, but it doesn’t hide the frown he’s wearing.
Shoving off the pool floor, I thrust to the surface and hang on the poolside next to him. “Did you hear that?”
He tilts his head. “Hear what?”
“Um, nothing I guess. Never mind.” I feel foolish asking about underwater voices.
Ry taps his fingers on the concrete. “You shouldn’t do that, you know.”
I brush the wet hair out of my face. “Do what?”
“Stay under the water so long.” He talks like it should be obvious to me.
“Why not? I wasn’t in danger of drowning. I felt fine.”
Ry scratches the back of his neck. “Because…the average person can’t hold their breath as long. You know that’s not normal, right? Besides,” he motions to my classmates, “I don’t want any of these numbskulls to think you need saving and try to play hero simply because you decided to take shelter beneath the surface for fifteen minutes. I might have to get involved. And that, my lovely Ana,” he ruffles my hair, “wouldn’t be pretty.”
“Point taken.” I crack a grin and lick the chlorinated water from my lips, hoping he doesn’t see me shift with unease in the pool.
He pats my hand and springs off, called to action by one of my classmates. Glad he’s the coach’s assistant and not me. Too much people-pleasing involved.
Flipping around to face the pool, I stretch my arms out and lean back against the edge. Any minute the coach will blow the whistle, putting an end to free time. My eyes travel the pool circumference, immediately locking with none other than Jaden’s. My jaw drops. He’s in my swim class now?
He smiles. I spin away so rapidly an older me would have gotten whiplash. My whole body is on fire. I can’t believe I got caught staring. And now he’s behind me at the other edge of the pool, making me feel itchy.
New, hot, kill-me-now student in school, and he has to be in my swim class, of all places?
Ry kneels before me. “What was that about?” He glances across the pool before looking back down at me. “Ah, Skylar’s new arm jewelry. Be careful, Ana. She can be mean.”
Don’t I know it. Why did it have to be him with her?
The following hour is pure torture. Having Jaden so near throws me off balance. No doubt Ry notices. He misses nothing. I don’t swim as fast or as long as usual. The magnetic pull two lanes over obliterates my concentration. Not only are my eyes drawn to Jaden, but when I swim laps, my body drags toward him, off-center within my lane. Almost every time I peek, he glances back. It’s unnerving.
During my after-school training, Ry is extra tough on me and ignores the silence when I don’t respond to his playful jabs. I’m not surprised when he stops by to see me later in the evening.
He swings into the doorway of my bedroom and knocks on the frame, even though it’s obvious I see him. “May I come in?”
I put down my pencil and shove my papers to the side. “If you must,” I say, a tad of exasperation in my tone.
He sits beside me on the bed. “We okay?”
Spurred by his serious tone, I twist onto my side to study him better. Keeping eye contact borders on impossible, so I find myself drawing circles on the comforter with my finger. Images take shape in the patterns I draw. All the while, things that have happened, things I’ve heard, keep running through my mind. Driving a wedge between us is the last thing I want, so I allow a snarky smile to spread across my face as I meet his gaze.
“We’ll be fine, but I need answers.” I reach up and punch him in the arm. “You gotta start talking, buddy.”
He tilts his head. “What do you mean?”
“Take Jaden, for example. I feel dumb enough that I tried to kiss you, but if you aren’t interested, why stand in the way of other guys?” I sit up from my sprawled-out position.
His brow wrinkles, and his eyes tighten. “I get it. I tend to be overprotective when it comes to you and your sister.”
“Yeah? Well, stop it.”
He lowers his head, and I feel a dull pang for speaking so harshly. But not enough to stop.
“And what’s going on with you and my mom?”
“You’re joking, right?” His hand flies to his chest, feigning shock. “You couldn’t possibly think your mom and I have anything going on.”
“You tell me. I heard you guys this morning. Sounded fishy to me.”
“I don’t know what you think you heard, but there’s no fishy business. I swear. She’s not my type.”
“If you say so.” I flip up my hand and turn my head.
“I do.” He falls back on his elbows. “So, did you get a good horoscope today?”
I balk, surprised he’s using my sister’s little game to change the subject. Then I follow his gaze to the foil wrapper laid out on my dresser. Nicely played. “I can’t believe you’re falling for that stuff.” I laugh, and he joins me with heartfelt laughter of his own.
I pick at the bed sheets, think about how things have been between us lately, and decide it’s a good idea to share my magic chocolate wisdom. “Today’s gave advice. ‘Judge not others or yourself.’”
“Sounds solid.” He idly spins a pencil in his hand, staring at it.
This morning I thought the chocolate pertained to Dohlan. Now I’m considering the possibility it pertains to much more. What if it means Ry and Mom, as well? I need to work on being non-judgmental.
I stare at my comforter, think about my future. “I love my mom and Crystia, but I must to get out of Faredale.”
“I know,” he says tenderly. “Isn’t that what we’re working toward?”
We sit for a moment in complete understanding.
“Hey, sis.” Crystia glides through the door and drops onto the bed with us.
Moment over.
She pulls a foot up underneath her. “Caesar wants to know when you’re gonna visit.”
A fi
t of miniature giggles bursts from my lips. Ry looks confused, as if he’s forgotten who Caesar is. Crystia is miffed.
I silence my giggles. “That reminds me, can you get me a picture of Caesar?”
Her head slightly flinches. “Why?”
“I thought he’d make an excellent project for my art class. I’m supposed to paint a live subject.”
Her face lights up. “I can do you one better. I’ll get you a picture of us together. Won’t that be cool?”
“Uh, I harbor zero interest in you getting mauled by a tiger for the sake of a picture.”
“Siberian tiger,” she corrects.
I wave her off. “Whatever. Like he cares.”
“He totally cares. Try to show some respect.” Her face is devoid of all joking. “Anyway, I’ll get you the picture.” She leans forward. “Have you given any thought to the party?”
I haven’t given it any thought. My brain’s been pretty busy.
“What party is this?” Ry sits up, a picture of perfect focus.
“Skylar’s birthday bash. I so want to go. Please, oh please, say we can all go? Come on, Ry, talk Ana into it.”
They both stare at me. I’m under fire, by family, no less. I throw my hands up. “What?”
Ry leans back, spreading his arms out on the bed. “You don’t want to go? Can’t say I blame you.”
“No, I don’t. But you do. So let’s just say I’m still thinking about it.”
Crystia winks. “He will probably be there.”
Jaden. That argument isn’t working. I haven’t a clue what’s going on there.
“Dangerous, Ana,” Ryland says. “Skylar already has her claws into him.”
Trust Ry to point out the obvious. It sparks a fire in me, and I suddenly want to best Skylar, simply for the sake of finally beating her at something. Only that’s shallow, and I shouldn’t think that way. I know it’s not right.
“Like I said, I’ll think about it. Now, I really need to get my work done, so out with you both.” I hop off the bed to shoo them out of my room.
With the room quiet, I’m still unable to work. My thoughts are consumed by Jaden.
Thanks, Crystia.