by Debra Kristi
I blink, thinking of Crystia’s memorial and chatting beside his motorcycle in the alleyway.
“I am your Tracer. Every Balance Bringer has one from the day she is born. I felt you on your first day. I’ve always felt you. It’s my purpose to help keep your emotions in check during your time of change, but I can also see the path you’re on in order to help you prepare for upcoming challenges, or change the course of your actions, if need be. You might think of me as your own personal seer.”
Is kissing on that list somewhere? I shake my head, rock back, my body tingling and then freeze. “That’s how you know things, isn’t it? You’re using me, somehow, to listen to the world around me? Listen in through me to learn about me.” I press on the sides of my head. “This is the secret you’ve been keeping from me.”
He drops his hand upon mine. “Everything would have been clear to you at any time, you only needed to open your mind. We’ve always been connected. The truth was always there waiting to be discovered.”
A frown permeates my lips. Maybe. If my dream-walks hadn’t been misbehaving these last few years. Or Dohlan hadn’t…Dohlan. I sigh, stare at my feet, think of Jaden as my personal seer. Holy creation! “You can see my future?” I blurt out.
“Not all of it, and not all the time. Important events come to me automatically, like tonight. Others I might go looking for. I trace your path through this life, hence my title.” He dips his head in a bow, pulls his hand away. “As for that ability you experienced just now, rest assured I am not reading your mind. It’s more about the feelings. I feel you, and I think when you finally decide to take that plunge, the guy you choose will make sure it’s memorable for you.” He looks thoughtful, staring off into the parking lot.
“How do you know I haven’t already?”
He tosses me a challenging look that tells me he knows. “Will it be the guy I saw you with?”
I try to remember when he saw me with anyone other than Ry. “What guy?”
“The blonde at the cliffs.”
My heart stops. “I knew that was you! You mean Dohlan? No. I don’t know.” If I’m honest with myself, I do unexpected things when I’m with Dohlan. It could happen.
His hands rub down the length of his legs once, and again. “Was it this guy you confused me with?”
“I never admitted… I don’t want to say...” I fall silent, lean forward, and stare at him.
He’s quiet, and something about the silence bothers me.
“Did I say something wrong?”
“No, of course not.” He runs his hand through his hair, pushing it off his forehead. “It’s just, I’ve never done a cleansing before. I only wanted to wash away all the negativity you were experiencing. I had no idea how it would feel, and I hate that it made you uncomfortable. That was not my intention.” His gaze drops to my hands.
Scrutinizing his confession, I don’t know what to make of it. Yes, the experience was intense, exciting, a tad overwhelming, a little erotic, and slightly embarrassing. I don’t think I’d change it, though.
I bend down to look at him. “I was your first?”
He smiles mischievously. “Yes, my first and only.”
“Aren’t I the lucky girl.” A smile plays at the corners of my lips. “And sex?” His brow raises, body language changes. I have his attention. “You’re not interested?”
“I didn’t say that.”
His gaze holds mine. It unnerves me.
“Yet you’d be all right with me and Dohlan.”
“I never said that, either.” He pulls back.
I laugh nervously, then return to the awkward silence. Breaking eye contact, I study every little aspect of the parking lot and think about the kiss. “You manipulate emotion?” I say, refusing to look at him. My face is flushing with heat, and I hide my cheeks in my palms.
“I wouldn’t call it manipulation. More like guiding them onto the proper path when they go astray.”
“So you can control or adjust my emotions at any time?”
“Only if you want me to. You must allow it. You can choose to shut me out, and, as far as I know, I require physical contact for it to work.”
“Have you ever used this ability of yours when I wasn’t aware of it? Say, at the party?”
“What you were feeling then and before was our natural call. It made sure we connected. I was meant to help you, Ana. It has always been so.”
“The kiss that night, tonight, all part of the call?” I chance a glance in his direction. He’s watching me from the corner of his eye.
“The kissing was all me.” His gaze narrows, and the side of his lips lift.
I bite my lip and drop my hair across the side of my face. That reminds me… “What about this?” I point to my birthmark.
“I wanted to get a closer look.”
I wince, remembering how it used to look. “So you’re responsible for the change in my birthmark’s appearance?”
“Yes. But that’s no birthmark. That’s a warrior’s binding mark. A warrior was bound to you. His sweat and your blood fused together on your flesh. I suspect he would do anything for you, regardless. But now he’s officially yours. The warrior’s bond is a lifelong promise to serve and protect. I’m sure you’ve noticed his overprotective nature.”
What the fuck?
Jaden laughs. “It happened at your birth. You should ask Ryland about it.”
This is a lot to take in. I’ve had this stupid mark my whole life. It made me an outcast at school. And Ry is the one who gave it to me? I want to hit something. Hard.
“Ryland will be with you to answer your questions for a long time to come. You’ll get your answers.”
Crossing my arms, I let out a huff, already knowing my irritation won’t last. And that alone is irritating. “Can you do this to anyone you want?”
“No.”
“Really? How many people on an average would you say you can affect?”
“One.”
“Only one?” My eyes widen.
He hides laughter with a smile. “Yes. One.”
I struggle to find my voice. “Why am I the lucky one?”
“Would you prefer I have this connection with someone else?” He tilts into me, sending a tingly warmth all around my body.
“That’s not what I’m saying.” I sway back toward the cement, then collapse to the cold surface. He leans over me, eyes swirling mist, lips so inviting. Is he going to kiss me again?
A car pulls into the lot and heads straight for us, washing us in white light. We both sit faster than spooked cats. I raise a hand to my face to block the blinding light. Unable to see the vehicle or the driver, I wonder if Ry could steal a car so quick. A familiar voice reaches us from behind the surrounding glow.
“Well? Are you getting in?” Ry asks with his typical impatience.
I stand, and Jaden grabs my hand, making me pause. I look back at him. “I can feel the turmoil inside you regarding your mother.”
I stare at him, not wanting to go there.
“You will see her again. I’ve seen it.”
My lips curl as I squeeze his hand.
Ry honks the horn. The vehicle is nondescript; a Honda emblem catches my attention as I walk past the hood. The mud caked all over the license plate is dry and crackly, making the plate hard to read. Smart move.
“Was the goal to blend into the night?” I meet Ry’s stare through the windshield. “Goal accomplished. Dark gray definitely shouldn’t draw much attention.”
Jaden opens the door for me and steps aside. “Thank you for tonight. For the kiss.”
My mouth drops opens. I snap it shut. I don’t know what to say, so I get in the car without a word.
I note the unbroken windows and the lack of scratches on the door. “How did you get into the car? It looks like you used a key.”
“I have my ways. Never question the master.” He flashes a smug smile.
I roll my eyes and look into the rearview mirror. Jaden’s studying the se
at belt like he hasn’t seen one before.
“When we get where we’re going, you and I need to have a little talk.” I flash Ry a not-so-happy glance.
“Sounds fun,” he taunts.
“Oh, it will be. You’ll be coming clean on something I need to know.”
He smiles and nods out the front window.
“While you two are having that little discussion,” Jaden says from behind, “you should cover the topic of Dohlan. If there is anyone in your circle of influence who can properly inform you in regards to that guy, it would be Ryland.”
“What does she know of Dohlan?” Ry spins in his seat, throwing Jaden an accusing glare before bearing down on me. “What do you know of Dohlan, Ana?”
“Tell him.” Jaden points to Ryland.
I shoot Jaden a nasty look. Why is he bringing this up now? Is he jealous? “Nothing, really. Just some dreams.”
Ry pulls the car out of the lot with more speed than necessary. “Dammit. Why didn’t you say something? He’s dangerous. I want you staying away from that incubus scum. Understand?”
“Dammit yourself, Ry! If you and Mom had thought to inform me about everything from the beginning, maybe my dreams wouldn’t be an issue now!”
Ry reaches over and shakes my wrist. “How long?”
I pull away.
“How long has this been going on, Ana?” His question morphs into a plea, and I detect fear and frustration masked behind his front of cold.
“Since the night of the accident,” I mumble to my lap.
“Two years? Holy mother of Gradnar! Do you realize what he could have done to you during that time? And none of us would have been the wiser. You’re lucky. So damn lucky!” He shakes his head.
I peek out from beneath the hair I’ve been hiding behind. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Besides, he’s a little hard to say no to.”
“Of course he is. He’s an incubus! Have you ever seen him outside of the dream?”
I stare at my hands, digging at my fingernails. All this talk of Dohlan makes me uncomfortable.
“Think, Ana. This is important.”
“Once, maybe. Why?”
Ry sighs, not taking his eyes off the road. “Only the dream incubi and succubi can transverse between the worlds without an actual passage, like the one we now seek.”
I bite the inside of my lip, remembering how Dohlan looked in that dark alley, how I wanted to go to him.
“Someone with enough power and know-how could use him or someone like him to make the jump.” Ry exchanges a look with Jaden through the rearview mirror I don’t miss.
I turn my head and stare out the window, watching the dark hills roll by and recalling the shadows slithering out of the same alley Dohlan disappeared into. There are no coincidences.
Ry parks the car along a long, empty curb across from a gorgeous Tuscan-style home, the only one with its porch light still on in these predawn hours.
Ry steps out of the car. “Are the boots comfortable?”
I look down to admire them, ignoring the dull ache in my arches. “They’re great. Best I’ve ever worn.”
“That’s good. You’re about to give them a workout. We’re headed down that way.” He points down the hill. “The Toran is just beyond the development. That’s the doorway back home, for you newbies.” He looks directly at me, and I frown. “Of course, the Toran’s natural defenses keep them hidden and people at a safe distance. We’ll need to go the rest of the way on foot.”
“Toran? Isn’t that Buddhist or something?” I clamber out of the car.
“Something like that. Means gateway.” Ry sounds almost sarcastic. “Our races are older than the establishment of mortal religions. Many of their terms have been borrowed.”
“So you scoff at religion? Are they all borrowed and made up? Don’t you believe in anything?”
“Absolutely. Religions are merely deviations and adaptations of the truth—a truth brought to people at a time before the realms were cut off from one another. We’re all just instruments of some greater power. Call it God, Gaea, Buddha, whatever you want. But it’s out there and it’s bigger and stronger than us on an unmeasurable scale.”
That surprises me. I’ve never taken Ry for the religious type.
He marches forward. “Come on. The sun will be up soon, and with it, the heat.”
I scamper after him. “Why will there be so many tests just to get to the door? Didn’t look like the one in the mineshaft would’ve been that difficult before Mom smashed it.”
“The one in the mineshaft is newer. It works—worked—on a series of locks and codes.” Ry scratches his neck. “This one is way older. There aren’t many left in the world like it. In fact, I’m having trouble thinking of any.”
“How come we happen to live so close to all these doors to the other world?” I tug on Ry’s shirt, and he glances back at me. “Terribly convenient, wouldn’t you say?”
“We don’t just happen to live near the gateway. It was planned.” Ry sighs. “That way I could get back and forth when needed. This gate we now seek was used as a guide when placing the one we settled near.” Ry pulls his flashlight out. “There really aren’t that many. Not like there were thousands of years ago. The one near your home happened to splinter, creating three exits from the other side. They’re all within an hour’s drive from the house. It’s not an exact science. Aside from this granddaddy of a gate,” he points down the street with his flashlight, “the next nearest gateway is an extremely long ways away.”
I think I get it, but I’m not sure. All I know is I heard the word defenses when we first got out of the car, and that doesn’t sound like fun.
We quickly make our way down the windy road. Ry leads our little parade, putting the homes and streetlights behind us, with Jaden and me striding along behind. I drag my fingers along the thick block wall at our side. At a break in the wall, Ry shines his flashlight down a long line of cement stairs.
I strain to see beyond the tiny beam of light. “I take it we’re going down there?”
Strange colors flash before my eyes. I blink, attempting to clear my vision. My head pounds. Ry’s eyes narrow, and a vein in his forehead pulses when Jaden wraps an arm around my waist, stopping me from stumbling.
Jaden puts his hand gently above my ear. “The transition is difficult,” he says to Ry, who glares at him. “Would you prefer I let her fall?”
“Of course not.” Ry looks away.
“You need to get a handle on your warrior bond.”
Ry’s eyes blaze with frustration. “You think I don’t know that?” He reminds me of a bull preparing to charge.
Jaden’s arms slide away from my waist, and Ry’s demeanor thaws.
Ry focuses in on me. “We are going down the steps. It’s steep, so be careful and hold onto the railing.”
“Oh, please. What do you take me for?” I don’t wait for an answer and push Jaden away, plowing down the steps, full steam ahead.
They lead to a dead end, enclosed all the way around. Ry points over the railing and motions to the dirt floor a story below. We’ll have to jump down. Bracing for impact, I make the leap, dropping to the hard-packed ground with a solid thud. The soles of my feet protest as if I’ve landed in lava. They weren’t ready yet, and I have more healing to do. Ry and Jaden appear beside me, their landings impossibly silent.
“This way.” Ry steps out and takes the lead into the undeveloped land.
The moon sits low in the sapphire sky, and the outlying area ahead is peppered with brush and small trees. My eyes play tricks on me, focusing near and far. Things look different as I study the small clearing we must cross to get to a bushy trail on the other side. Every brush, weed, pebble of dirt I see with crystal clarity. A minute later it’s all dull, dark, and fuzz again.
I frown as I listen to Ry and Jaden bicker about me. They’re so engrossed in their conversation, they haven’t noticed my hobbling has left me several yards behind them. They turn on the dirt path a
mong the bushes and trees and disappear from sight. I open my mouth to call out when something grabs my elbow, pulling me to the side.
Dohlan wraps one arm around me and softly runs a finger up my throat, lifting my chin ‘til our eyes meet. I freeze at the sight of him, then snap to and struggle, attempting to flee.
He holds me until I still, his face never showing discomfort or anger. “Are you ready to listen?” His voice is like angel song, calming my anxious heart. And the smooth skin of his hand caresses the side of my face. “It will not be easy. She will try to stop you from coming to me. You come to me, understand?”
His gaze fixes on mine, and my heart accelerates. I want to fill his every desire. Go to him, yes. There is no other option.
Jaden rushes around the bend, sliding in the dirt. Blinking, I search the brush around me and find it empty. Jaden wraps his hand around mine and pulls me past Ry, who’s studying the path behind us, his weapon drawn.
“You won’t find Dohlan unless he wants you to,” I whisper to Ry.
He glances at me sideways, his eyes wide. The guys push me onward, never allowing me out of their sight. That’s fine. Whatever. My mind wanders, and I think about what waits for us ahead. Torans bringing trials and safeguards to protect the passage. Sounds…daunting. We wind along a dry riverbed and through tight-knit trees without exchanging a word. The quiet is unnerving. I don’t like it. I bump into Ry, getting his attention.
He throws me a burning stare. “That was really uncool back there. It was exactly the kind of thing I was afraid of.” His chest rises and falls, and his eyes are dark.
I twist my fingers on the belt loops of my cargo pants. “What happened back there, really? Did you see him hurt me? Or even threaten me?”
“I didn’t need to see him. Jaden told me he was there.”
I glance to Jaden. His eyes widen, and he looks down, rubbing the back of his neck.
“He’s a danger, whether you feel threatened by him or not. Don’t be fooled.” Ry’s words snap my attention back on him.
“Yeah? Well I’m a big girl, and I don’t need you to fight all my battles.” I fall back between the guys, when something among the overgrown brush catches my eye. Curious, I step to the side and push a few leaves out of the way to get a closer look. “What do you make of this?”