by Diana Fraser
“Of course it’s okay,” said Chelsey. “Don’t worry, Max. It’ll be fine. It’ll be over before you know it.”
Max held Laura’s gaze. “Over before you know it,” he repeated. “A marriage made in heaven,” he added wryly.
Laura’s lips quirked with amusement. “Or hell,” she said, looking back down at her phone.
6
“Wedding bells are ringing! Till six months us do part?” @TellTaleGirl #theultimatechallenge
Laura had hardly stopped during the three days of preparation leading up to her wedding. She’d had a prior commitment in Fiordland, panning for gold underwater, which had kept her busy, but even when she was forced to stay put she was either on the phone, the computer, or talking to people. And that was exactly how she liked it. It didn’t give her time to think and she really didn’t want time to reflect on what she was about to do. Telltale Girl was right—this was her biggest challenge yet.
But now she and Kelly had returned to Queenstown Lodge, nerves had kicked in big time. It was the morning of her wedding and there was no distraction to be found anywhere—not on her phone and certainly not with the dressmaker making last minute adjustments to the hemline of her wedding dress, and Kelly talking her through the wedding arrangements.
Laura scrolled through her Twitter feed as she stood on the coffee table while the dressmaker pinned up her hem. “Telltale Girl sounds really keen to see me hitched.”
“Will you leave that phone alone, Laura!” growled Kelly. “Let the dressmaker do her job.”
Laura sighed and tossed the phone onto the sofa. “Okay?” she asked Kelly. “Sorry,” she said to the dressmaker, who mumbled a response through a mouthful of pins.
While Kelly and the dressmaker fussed around her, Laura stood, hands by her sides as she’d been instructed and, without diversion, her mind drifted to Max—something she’d been trying to avoid since their last kiss. That kiss… it had taken her to places which she’d only read about. What was worse than an arranged marriage? An arranged marriage with someone she really liked. She sighed and fidgeted and the dressmaker tutted.
It was ridiculous, weird, incomprehensible, but with each meeting with Max her discomfort increased. It was a charade and usually she was comfortable with charades, but when her partner-in-crime looked at her with such a toe-curling sensuousness that her tummy flipped with desire, she suddenly found herself looking at herself through his eyes, and not liking what he was seeing, not liking what she’d become.
She didn’t want him to think she was a shallow adrenaline junkie with no ideas or thoughts or feelings beyond the immediate need to have fun. It must have been this notion which made her reveal her childhood illness to him, something only a few people knew. She couldn’t think of any other reason. She still couldn’t believe she’d told him so much about herself.
No, he wasn’t the usual two-dimensional acquaintance with whom she flirted briefly before moving on. He was a man who interested her, who had feelings, a past and a family, someone who drew her in before she could say, “self-preservation”.
“There.” The dressmaker smoothed down the already sleek folds of her dress, stood back and looked inquiringly at Kelly.
Kelly formed her fingers in an approving “O”. “Perfect!” She rose and walked around Laura as if she were a statue in an art gallery. “So, what do you think, Laura?”
Laura looked down at her dress. It was beautiful, no doubt about that. While the cream satin draped around her curves in a way that was designed to make sure all eyes were on her, it wasn’t big and flouncy and over the top, her only request. Trouble was, she had the uncomfortable feeling that she was a prize, wrapped up and about to be presented to the highest bidder. Stupid. It was her decision. She’d accepted the proposal, the challenge, whatever the hell it was called. She sighed and focused on the dress.
“It’s lovely. Thanks for not giving me a crinoline. This is beautiful. It’s very…” Words failed her. She’d never given a moment’s thought to wedding dresses before, let alone needed to describe one.
“Sweet and sexy, is what it is,” said Kelly.
“Sweet and sexy, yes. Thanks,” Laura said to the dressmaker.
“If you leave your account at reception, we’ll see it’s paid,” said Kelly dismissing the woman.
Laura sat, her full cream satin gown bunched up around her knees, and twirled the stiletto shoe around in her hand by its heel. She’d never before worn shoes like these either. She didn’t know if she could wear them, let along walk in them.
She turned it over—cool color though: the sole was fuchsia pink, the top a creamy satin to match the dress.
She held it up to Kelly. “I can’t wear these! I’ll trip up on that lovely pink carpet you have rolled out for me.”
Kelly didn’t even look up from inspecting the flowers—long stemmed white lilies. She gave the okay to the florist who scurried off to get everything in place.
Laura slipped one shoe on. “At least it fits.”
Kelly grinned. “You shall go to the ball, Cinderella.”
Laura glowered at her and wrinkled her nose. The heavy scent of lilies filled the air. Wearing only one shoe, she limped across to the other side of the room and pushed open the windows and took a deep breath. There was a hint of autumn in the air. The deciduous trees in the valley had turned brilliant shades of orange, red and yellow and there was a slight chill now at night.
She rested her arms on the sill, still twirling the other shoe in her hand out the window. Kelly came up behind her and grabbed it from her. “Do you know how much that cost?”
Laura sighed. “No.”
“And I don’t suppose you care, either,” Kelly grumbled, as she checked the clipboard which appeared to be permanently attached to her hand.
Laura poked her head further out the window. She could just see the fuchsia carpet rolling toward the raised dais where she and Max would say their vows. She gulped at the thought. White flowers were everywhere, with bright dashes of the same pink as the carpet evident in the swags which held back the floaty white curtains and in the small posies which adorned the back of each seat. White and pink everywhere. The effect was elegant and glamorous—everything Laura wasn’t.
Kelly turned to Laura, her irritation evident on her face. “Try on the other shoe, for goodness’ sake, and practice your walk.”
Grumbling, Laura slipped the other shoe on and rose, slightly stooped. She glanced at Kelly who sighed and shook her head.
“Are you telling me that jumping off the side of mountains on a bike, free-falling out of aeroplanes, bungy jumping, eating live insects, none of this bothers you more than walking in high heels?”
Laura pouted—something she didn’t know she could do—and tried to stand taller. She could do this. She found her balance and walked, one step in front of the other. She focused on a painting at the end of the room and fixed on it as her target as she walked toward it. She turned around with a sense of achievement and saw Kelly nearly doubled up laughing.
“You walk like a drag queen.”
“Gee, thanks very much!”
“Actually not as good as a drag queen—they walk better than most women. You walk like a man in stilettos.”
Laura sat down and pulled off her shoes, trying to keep at bay a feeling which was alien to her—defeat. “I can’t do this.”
“You can and you will. It wasn’t me who accepted this challenge, it was you. And, unless you want to be the laughing stock of thousands of people—”
“Millions at the last count—”
“Then you’d better get back to practising your walk.”
Kelly’s phone rang and she answered it while Laura walked up and down the room a few times.
Kelly glanced at her, put her hand over the phone. “Stand straight and flex your bottom muscles.” She sighed after another few steps. “My mom used to tell me to imagine someone’s pulling a string up through you, out of your head.”
Laura
continued to practice. “I don’t need to be told that—someone’s already pulling a string.”
Kelly finished her conversation and crossed her arms. “You mean me?”
Laura shook her head, bunched up the gown around her hips and sat down. This whole business was getting more and more depressing. “Not you. I know I’m doing it to myself. It’s just…” She sighed.
Kelly shot her a sharp glance. “What’s up?”
“Nothing.”
“Yes-thing. I haven’t seen that look in a long time,” she said more kindly, coming up to Laura. “Spill.”
“It’s just all of this. It’s not me.”
“Come on. Somewhere in your unromantic past there must have been a time when you imagined yourself in this situation.”
“What? About to marry someone I’ve only met a few times? No, I can honestly say that I’ve never imagined a scenario like this one.”
“I don’t mean that. I mean getting married in a general sense. You know, committing to one person for the rest of your life. A girl’s big day. Even I’ve day-dreamed of getting married.” Kelly sorted through some accounts and drew her laptop toward her. “Walking down the aisle with my father, everyone looking at me, my man standing at the altar.” Kelly sat back in her chair and gazed into the mid-distance. “He has hair that’s too long, and sits on his white shirt collar.” She raised her hands and indicated the back of her neck. “Just there. Just right.” She sighed.
Laura frowned. “You’re talking about Jack, aren’t you?”
A blushing Kelly tapped at her laptop without looking up. “Jack?” she said with a distracted air. “Jack who?”
Laura slid off her chair and walked across to Kelly, looking over her shoulder. Kelly’s hands paused. “You know who. Seems you haven’t gotten over him like you claim.”
Kelly’s lips twisted but she kept her eyes down, glued to the keyboard, her fingers unmoving. She cleared her throat and looked into Laura’s direct gaze. “Of course I have. I was talking of adolescent dreams. Don’t tell me you didn’t have them. No weddings?”
“Yes, weddings. A long time ago. Nothing fancy like yours, or like this. But any thoughts of one has been long-since buried.”
“When you got sick.”
“Yep. I might have survived, but some parts of me didn’t. The romantic part, the part that thought I’d have a future like any other girl.”
Kelly raised her hand and took Laura’s and squeezed it. “Come on. Don’t get maudlin on me. That’s not like you. Look at the facts. You’re marrying someone totally hot.”
“True. What else?”
“There doesn’t need to be anything else. A totally hot man more than compensates for anything else lacking.”
“Do you really think I can do this?”
Kelly hugged Laura. “Sweetie, I know you can. Just another challenge, remember. Just another challenge”—she glanced at her watch and her expression changed to one of panic—“which is going to begin in a few short hours!”
As Kelly charged off, Laura groaned and put her head in her hands, just as the sounds of a string quartet started up. How come getting married terrified her more than saddle bronc riding at a rodeo?
* * *
Two hours later, Laura peeped out from behind the marquee flap and scanned the scene before her. The garden was awash with beautiful people. It was close to mid-day—the time set for her to emerge—and the cool of the autumn morning had disappeared, leaving the day bright and clear. The women had been asked to wear a fuchsia pink accessory and the result was a stunning vision when combined with the dark suits and white shirts of the men. Kelly had always teased her about her favorite color being pink when Laura was such a tomboy and now Laura was beginning to think she’d changed her mind. The pink blazed at her like a reproach as she looked around with increasing nerves, increasing queasiness.
She let the marquee flap drop and turned to Kelly who was going through a checklist with the wedding planner. “How long do I have to wait?” Laura knew she sounded petulant and unreasonable, but she indulged herself anyway.
Kelly threw her an amused look. “Not used to being out of the spotlight, are you?”
“It’s not that…” Laura sat down and the satin slipped down her bare legs. She shrugged. “It’s waiting I’m not used to. It makes me nervous.”
Kelly threw her head back and laughed. “You? Nervous?” She walked over to her and the laughter faded. “You’re not kidding, are you?” She frowned. “Look, five minutes and then you’ll be out there. Do you regret this? You don’t have to go through with it, you know. Not if you don’t want to.”
Laura rolled her eyes. “Right. I’ll just pop out there, call the whole thing off, and watch my ‘career’ fall into ruin. And not just mine. Yours, too.” She gestured to Kelly’s assistant and others who helped her do what she did. “And all the rest. There’d be no money coming in to pay for their salaries.” She suddenly felt the crushing sense of obligation, that came with this behemoth of a career she’d invented for herself. She’d thought she was having fun, chasing freedom. What she hadn’t realized was that she was setting her own trap. There and then she decided she’d have to do something about it. But not here. Not now. “No. I’ve committed to this. I’ll go ahead.” She jumped up and looked away from Kelly, not wanting to see the relief on her face.
“Good.” But Laura could hear the relief in her voice. “Now, let’s have a good look at you.” She smoothed down the satin as Laura slipped her shoes on her bare feet.
“You should have worn stockings. Or at least a garter.”
“I draw the line at garters and I hate stockings. Besides, I was worried I’d slip out of these shoes. With bare feet at least I can grip them.”
“Just hold on to me as we go down the aisle—I mean carpet—and you’ll be fine.”
Laura gnawed her lip. “Are you sure?”
Kelly gave her a hug. “Sure I’m sure.” She tried to turn Laura toward the mirror, but she didn’t budge. “Just look at you. You’re gorgeous. That’s all that’s required of you today—looking gorgeous and not falling off your shoes. How hard can that be?”
Very hard, Kelly, very hard. But Laura didn’t voice her thoughts. Instead, she stood with her back to the mirror as the hairdresser made some last minute adjustments. Laura had insisted on her hair being natural, but from the amount of lotions and spray the hairdresser was applying, Laura somehow doubted her wishes had been taken into account. At least the flowers were real. Laura had no idea how she was going to end up looking and she was beyond caring. Any idea of control over the day was long gone.
“You should have got your parents over here,” said Kelly.
“You’re kidding! They’re mad enough with me anyway. They don’t need to know.”
“Um, don’t you think they might hear?”
Laura shrugged. “I doubt it. They’re both so wrapped up in their own world, I don’t think they even know my YouTube channel exists. And I’m positive they’ve never heard of Twitter. Anyway I want you to give me away. You’ve been by my side watching out for me for as long as I can remember.”
Kelly’s face softened. “And I’m going to continue to watch out for you—married or not!” She gave her a hug. “Now, all set? Let’s have a look at you.” Kelly smiled. “You’ll do.”
Laura took a deep breath and nodded.
“You haven’t even looked in the mirror.”
Reluctantly, Laura turned around and did a double take, peering at the person she scarcely recognized. She raised her eyebrows in disbelief. Only when her reflection followed suit, did she accept the fact that this was the new Laura. She walked up to the mirror. “What the hell have you done to me? I hardly recognize myself.”
Kelly pulled her away. “That’s because you don’t look in the mirror often enough. You’re such a tomboy. Your looks are completely wasted on you.”
Laura shrugged and her reflection shrugged back. “This is turning into the weirdest
day. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more nervous.”
“You look beautiful, that’s all you need worry about. Now, take a deep breath, okay?”
Laura took hold of Kelly’s hands and inhaled slowly, copying Kelly. Just as she did before each challenge, just as she did when they were teenagers together, when Laura had needed all the calm and strength and support that Kelly could give her to carry on. But this time was different and Laura could see Kelly knew it.
“Come here,” said Kelly, pulling Laura into her arms and hugging her. “You can do it, you know. Just another challenge. Just something else to make you feel alive, something different to experience.”
Laura swallowed down the nerves. She pressed her lips together as she felt them tremble but met Kelly’s strong gaze. “Right.”
The strains of music changed, and turned into the wedding march.
Kelly peeped out from behind the tent flap. “Max is there, and his best man—never seen him before.” She glanced at Laura. “It’s time.”
“God, Kelly, what the hell am I doing?”
“What are you doing? Getting married, of course.”
Laura took a deep breath and slipped on her shoes. Kelly offered her arm and Laura took a few faltering steps towards her.
“You can hold on to me while we walk. Then all you have to do is stand there. And, after you’re married, you can hold onto Max. So don’t worry about those shoes.”
“They’re coming off as soon as I’m done,” whispered Laura, as the curtains swept open. Everyone turned and gasped.
“Showtime,” said Kelly, like a ventriloquist with a wide smile on her face.
Laura turned to see everyone looking at her and for the first time in her life felt shy. She tightened her grip on Kelly and took a step forward. The dress fell in easy waves around her body, higher at the front so there was no possibility of tripping. As they stepped out from the protection of the marquee, a murmur of appreciation spread around the guests like a ripple. Laura was thankful for Kelly’s reassuring presence, anchoring her into the moment. Time seemed to slow, and she was aware of only snatches of images—of a woman’s hat, slicing against the blue sky in brilliant vermillion; of a child’s bright eyes looking up at her from the feet of her mother; and of the pink and white rose petals which had been strewn on the carpet before her. The spell was only broken when she looked up and caught Max’s gaze. He was gazing at her as if he’d never seen her before, as if she was someone different—someone feminine and sophisticated. If she could fool Max, maybe she could do this—maybe she could even fool herself.