I was more worried about Ally. When she started shaking and her eyes glazed over, I recognized the signs of shock. But I knew that I wasn’t the one to console her. She had made that blatantly clear by avoiding me every chance she got. I couldn’t help but think that me working at the same place was looking for trouble. Had I known she also worked there when Mac offered me a job, I would have turned it down there and then. To find her working there was a surprise on my first day. I could tell by the look on her face that she thought I had gotten the job to be near her.
Although, I yearned to talk to her about what happened between us, I respected her space. She still caught me staring at her every now and again at work, but I couldn’t help it. I was drawn to her; I had been since we were younger. She haunted my dreams at night and visited my thoughts during the day. And no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, I couldn’t. I had no idea what to do, but I knew we couldn’t go on much longer living as strangers in the same house. I contemplated waiting for her outside, but when Mac came over to me after the fight, she assured me that she would take care of Ally.
On my way home, I had a lot of time to think about everything that had happened. It wasn’t about the fight. I was a bouncer. It went with the territory. Besides, it wasn’t the first brawl I’d been in and probably wouldn’t be the last. No, the thoughts that kept coming into my head were about the future. While in Kenworth, I lived in the moment, struggling to survive day by day, never thinking about anything else. The future didn’t matter, since I already appeased myself with the fact that I didn’t have one to look forward to. There were days where I half expected it to be my last.
I tried to not let the darkness in, but sometimes it would still found me. There had been many nights in prison, when I had been so overcome with grief, shame, and loneliness that I had prayed for it to end. But those prayers had gone unanswered. But last night, for the first time, I was thankful that I had survived.
I climbed the steps to our front porch, but instead of walking in I sat down on the old porch swing. Swaying slowly, I tried to think about what I wanted, where I saw myself in a few years from now, who I saw myself with and what I wanted out of life. Once the probationary period was up, I was free to leave the city. Hell, I could leave the state or even the country and start over. I tried to imagine where I would go or what I would be doing. But whenever I thought about the future, all I could see was Ally’s face. I wanted the opportunity to make things right with her. I wanted a future with her, but my hopes for that had diminished to nothing but a puff of smoke swirling up into the atmosphere and slowly disappearing.
As I stood up to head in, a pair of headlights blinded me before turning into the drive. Once the white spots faded, I could see Jaime coming up the walk, but her smile faded instantly.
“Jason, oh my god. What happened?” she cried out and rushed up the steps immediately inspecting the bruises that marred my face.
“Easy, easy,” I said pulling her hands away from my face. The swelling was down, but it was still sensitive.
“What happened?” she asked again.
“There was an incident at the bar tonight.”
“An incident? This looks like a lot more than an incident Jason.”
“It looks worse than it feels,” I lied, but I didn’t want her to worry, “Look, I will tell you the details, but I don’t want to do it out here.”
Glancing around at the neighboring houses, I felt exposed. She nodded in agreement and led the way inside. I followed her into the kitchen, where she pulled out two glasses and proceeded to pour us both a generous helping of whiskey. I didn’t ask her when she had started drinking whiskey. I would save that question for another time.
“Okay, spill it,” she said as she eyed me curiously over the rim of her glass.
“It’s really nothing.” But she just raised an eyebrow at me. “Okay, so it was a little more than nothing. There were a few guys who had too much to drink and began harassing Ally,” I began. “Relax, she’s fine.” I could tell she was about to lose her shit, so I quickly alleviated her fears. “She just got pushed into a table, but she is fine. She was in shock more than anything. Mac is having her stay with her tonight.”
“So what happened to you then?” she asked softly.
“It wasn’t a big deal; really, one of the guys got a little handsy with Ally.” I shrugged trying not to make too much of it. “I came over and politely asked the guy to let her go.”
“Politely huh?” she said.
“Yes, politely, anyways, I told her to tab them out. When it came time to pay, they didn’t want to leave and they needed a little encouragement.”
“Encouragement?”
“Look Jaime, I didn’t hit him first if that’s what you are concerned about. He pushed Ally into the table and I stepped in to make sure she was okay and that they were leaving. Then he came at me when my back was turned. It was self-defense, nothing more. Eventually, they left and that was it.”
She stared at me with a blank expression, but her eyes strained as if they were trying to detect a lie. I held myself under her direct gaze, refusing to look away.
“Okay, if that’s all you say it was. Then I believe you. I’m just glad you’re okay.”
I felt a little bit of guilt at not having told her the whole truth. I may have glossed over the details about the knife and may have left out a couple of guys, but she didn’t need to know the exact details; at least not tonight. The important thing was that Ally wasn’t hurt and my face would heal. That seemed to placate her for the time being. We chitchatted for a little bit longer, but between the shot of whiskey and coming down from the adrenaline rush from the fight, I was beat. Claiming exhaustion, I begged off to bed and headed upstairs. I didn’t even bother getting undressed. I just kicked off my shoes and flopped into bed fully clothed. In a matter of minutes, I was fast asleep.
Sometime in the night, I must have woken up and stripped because I woke in just boxers and a t-shirt with my clothes scattered all over the floor. I didn’t remember doing it, but I must have gotten hot or something. Still feeling a little rough from the night before, I took a long shower before heading down to the kitchen.
I found a sweet little note from Jaime on the refrigerator. She had made me some scones before she headed off to class. I had just finished off my second one, when the doorbell rang.
Who the hell could that be?
Whoever it was must have been really persistent, because I had barely made it to the door before they rang the doorbell again.
“What the hell do you...,” but the words caught in my throat. Standing before me were two county police officers. One of whom, I recognized as the officer who had arrested me for the murder of my step-father eight years ago. Ice cold fear, gripped my spine and sheen of clammy sweat broke out on my forehead.
“Mr. Armstrong?” the older one asked. Him I didn’t recognize. Either he was new to the force, or hadn’t been involved in my case.
“Yes,” I answered slowly. I hated cops. Especially the county cops because they had all been in the Walters back pocket. I had never shared with anyone the abuse I had suffered at the hands of the cops. No one would have believed me anyway. And even if they did, they would have believed that I deserved whatever treatment I got.
“We need you to come with us down to the station.” His voice was monotone and his expression blank, but warning bells were going off in my head. “We just want to ask you a few questions.”
Bullshit
“Why can’t you just ask me now?”
“Cut the crap Armstrong!” Officer Maynard piped up. He had always been an arrogant son of a bitch. “We know you kicked the crap out of some guys at Hennigan’s last night. And now they are pressing charges. It’s back to the big pen for you, my friend.”
“Cool it Maynard,” the officer stepped in, thumping a hand to his chest. From the name on his badge, he was Officer Kristoff.
I looked at Officer Kristoff because he seemed the m
ore level-headed of the two. “I don’t know what they told you, but they jumped me. They were harassing one of our waitresses, even pushed her, and then they jumped me.”
“Likely story,” Maynard scoffed, but Officer Kristoff cut him off with a glare.
“Mr. Armstrong, I’m sorry but you have to come to the station with us. Now you can come quietly under your own volition, or we can place you under arrest.”
I glanced from one cop to the other. Maynard was practically vibrating in his polished wingtips, itching to put me in handcuffs again. But I couldn’t give him the satisfaction. I thought of Jaime and how she would handle this. I owed it to her, to minimize the damage.
Nodding my ascent, Officer Kristoff backed off gesturing towards the car. Thankfully, they were in an unmarked car and not a police cruiser. I closed and locked the door behind me before climbing into the backseat. As we pulled out of the driveway, I glanced up at the house and prayed that this would not be the last time I saw it.
Ally
I’m pregnant.
No matter how many times I said it, I still couldn’t quite wrap my head around it. It didn’t matter that I had pretty much already figured it out before the test confirmed it. It still caught me off guard, so much so that I hadn’t been able to hear a word during the lecture. Pre-midterm lectures were in full swing, and although I studied through correspondence, I did have the benefit of attending some lectures throughout the year, which all happened to fall in line with Jaime’s roster. I was thankful for her, she went to classes every day, and then I copied her notes. She also helped me out with topics that were unclear in the online material supplied.
“Hey. Earth to Ally.”
Jaime’s hand flashed in front of my face, close enough to make me flinch. I jerked back and then glared at her.
“There you are. What the hell is wrong with you? You haven’t picked up your pencil once, have you heard anything that’s been said?”
Heat rushed up to my cheeks, embarrassed that I had been caught so out of it. That, and I was trying to figure out how I was going to tell Ally that I was pregnant, and that her brother was the father; not to mention breaking the news to Jason.
“Sorry, my mind’s been all over the place today, I didn’t sleep that well,” I fibbed.
“I figured, Jason told me what happened, at least you weren’t hurt.”
“I guess.”
As we were packing our bags to leave, Jaime’s cell phone rang giving me a reprieve from her interrogation. But it was short lived. As we walked down the hall together I could tell something was drastically wrong based on her end of the conversation.
“Jason. Wait. What’s wrong?” Her face drained of all color and she put a hand to the wall for support. Large fat tears pooled and began dripping down her face. Alarmed, I tried to ask her what was wrong but she waved me off, continuing with her call. We were drawing attention to ourselves, so I ushered her into an empty classroom and shut the door for privacy. Switching from one foot to the other, I anxiously waited for the conversation to end so I could find out what was wrong. All I knew right now was that it involved Jason. And whatever it was, it was bad.
“Okay, okay I’ll be right there. Don’t worry. We’ll get this all straightened out.”
She shoved her phone in her pocket, her hands visibly shaking and then looked at me without really seeing me, obviously distraught. When she reached for her keys, I put a hand on her arm.
“Jaime, you are in no condition to drive at the moment. Take a minute to calm yourself. Tell me what happened.”
She shrugged off my hand, but she at least set her purse and keys on the table. Her voice edged with panic she relayed the phone call.
“Jason was arrested this morning. He was talking too fast for me to get all the details, but it had something to do with the brawl last night at the bar.” She eyed me suspiciously. “What exactly happened last night?” she demanded.
I quickly told her the details of the fight. Apparently, Jason had left out the part about the knife because her face blanched again when I mentioned it. But she remained quiet when I finished.
“Jason said it was self-defense. If the guy attacked him from behind with a knife, I don’t understand why they would arrest him. He is saying they could send him back to prison for the rest of his original sentence!”
I didn’t say anything, but my expression must have spoken volumes. Despite the guy attacking Jason first, and with a weapon, there were several times during the fight where I thought Jason could have resorted to less violence. Seeing him that way, and what he was capable of, had shown me a side to him that I didn’t want to see. Now that I knew I was carrying his child, I didn’t know if I wanted to get involved.
“What?” she asked.
I just shook my head. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing Ally. I’ve known you for more than half your life, and can read you like a book. Now tell me what that face was for!” she demanded.
Sighing deeply, I hesitated while I searched for the right words. She just simply stood there with her arms crossed waiting for me to continue.
“It’s true that he was attacked from behind with a knife last night. But, you weren’t there.”
“Go on,” she urged.
“He disarmed the guy in seconds, and it should have been over. But, he broke his wrist and then smashed his face into the table. That’s when his friends got involved. I know they attacked him as a group, so it wasn’t a fair fight.”
I hesitated, feeling a mixture of dread and guilt swirl around in the pit of my stomach. How did you tell your best friend that you were afraid of her brother?
“I don’t know. It was scary and not because he was outnumbered. I was more worried for the other guys. Jason was a completely different person. He was cold and calculatingly brutal. He was savage and feral like a caged tiger that had just been let out.”
“So, WHAT? You’re saying he deserves to go to jail? That he’s some kind of monster?” she yelled back.
“No….no, that’s not what I meant. It’s just…well maybe he needs some help, a support group of sorts to work through the anger,” I tried to reason. “I mean it’s not the first time he’s attacked someone and it got out of hand.”
I hadn’t meant to mention her step dad, but she had pushed.
“You have no idea what you’re fucking talking about Ally. Of all people, I would have thought you would have understood.”
Her face was a mask of agony and anger. I felt terrible and stepped towards her, but she held up her hand.
“I only know what I see, no one has ever bothered to tell me what really happened and why he is so angry,” I started, “I know prison can change a person, but Jason has a lot of rage that’s been bottled up for years, so please explain it to me so that I can understand,” I begged.
I could see her wrestling within herself, trying to gain control of her emotions.
“It’s true, Jason did kill my stepfather. But it wasn’t in cold blood. He was defending me.”
She took a deep breath and began to relay in detail the horrifying events that led up to the death of her stepfather and the traumatic events afterwards. I listened in shock and horror at the deplorable acts she had endured.
“You see, Wallace had taken a special interest in me about the time I turned fourteen. I didn’t think much of it at first. I mean it made me a little uncomfortable. But everyone was always talking about how he was such a wonderful man for taking Jason and I in as his own and how much his family had done for this town. I felt like I couldn’t complain. It started with little things he did at first. He would rest his hand on my thighs. Sometimes his hand would slip and he’d act embarrassed and apologize. Creepy things, but if I tried to say anything to Mom, she would tell me I was making things up and being ungrateful.”
At this point she had begun pacing the room, wringing her hands as she continued.
“Then one night, it escalated…”
I just
stood there listing in horror as she told me what had happened that dreadful night, when Jason had taken matters in his own hands. I was shocked and angry, angry at Wallace for being a pig, angry at myself, angry at Ally for never having told me, or anyone else for that matter. As she told me in detail what Wallace had done, and how Jason had found him with her and lost his mind, my heart melted. All this time he had to live with the fact that he had killed someone, someone who clearly deserved it.
Jason was angry, and rightfully so. And maybe the way that other jackass at the bar acted when he pulled me on to his lap had triggered Jason’s anger.
Tears were streaming down my face too now, how could I not have known? How could I have not been there for my best friend during the worst time in her life? She not only lost her brother, but her mother, and her innocence all in a very short time. I felt selfish. But most of all, I felt ashamed. I should have known better.
“Jaime, I’m so sorry,” my lips trembled as I spoke. “I know it’s hardly enough to make up for not being there for you, or judging Jason so harshly, but I am truly and terribly sorry.”
It literally felt as if my heart had been shredded into a million pieces, the immense emptiness and sorrow that ransacked my insides, were like a tornado leaving only destruction in its wake.
She gave me a wan smile and then we flung our arms around each other, holding each other as we both cried for what seemed like ages. Eventually, sniffling we both drew back, and I was the first to speak.
“Where is he being held?”
“He’s being held at the County precinct. I don’t even know if they will grant bail,” she replied, her lips still trembling with emotion.
“Well let’s go and find out. I was there that night, I can attest to the fact that he was attacked first.”
Cowboy's Fake Fiancée: A Single Dad & A Virgin Romance Page 31