5ive Star Bitch

by Tremayne Johnson

  My phone beeped and I looked at it. It was a text message from Simeon. He said he missed me and he wanted to see me. He was full of shit. Just a few minutes ago he was on the phone with Kaylin, probably telling her the same bullshit.

  We sat, finished our food and got to know each other a little better. It was so much going on in my head, I couldn’t think straight. I definitely had some questions for my grandmother. Someone had to know my father had another child, and if anybody would know; she would. But why would she keep it a secret?

  ________

  After I dropped Raquel off, Jillian and I went to my grandmother’s house. When we walked in, Colin and Dorian were sitting in the living room, watching Sports Center.

  “Where’s grandma?” I asked.

  “She’s upstairs. She said she wasn’t feeling good,” Dorian replied.

  “Did she say what was wrong?”

  “I think she just needed some rest,” Colin jumped in.

  “I didn’t ask you, Colin. And why are you always here?”

  “Because, I wanna see you,”

  I rolled my eyes and walked up the steps to check on my grandmother.

  “Grandma?” I called her name, pushing her room door open, peeking in. She looked to be sleep, but when I started to close the door, she called my name.

  “Cherish…”

  “Yes, grandma,”

  “Is your brother in this house? He’s been out all day doing I don’t know what with I don’t know who,” she said.

  “Yeah, he’s downstairs with Colin. And why is Colin always here?”

  My grandmother smiled. “You know why that boy is always here. You need to go on and stop lying to yourself and give him a chance. He loves you, Cherish,” she said.

  “Please, grandma… I don’t have time for Colin. That’s over. It’s history.”

  She just shook her head.

  “Can I ask you a question, grandma?” I took a seat in the wicker chair that was right next to her bed.

  “Of course, baby.”

  “Did my father have any other kids beside me and Dorian?” I asked, looking in her eyes.

  “What made you ask me that, Cherish?”

  “Because, I met someone today,”

  I could see by her body language that she knew something. She sighed deep like she was about to tell me what was weighing on her.

  “Your father was a good man, Cherish. He loved your mother so much. He would do anything for her,” she said.

  “Yeah, but that doesn’t answer my question, grandma,” she was beating around the bush and I wanted to know the truth.

  She sat up in her bed and stared at me. “A long time ago, your father came in here holding a baby girl. When he walked through that door, I didn’t think anything of it. I thought he was holding you, but when he put that baby down on the couch, I saw that it wasn’t you. It was another little girl. But I swear, she looked so much like you it bothered me. I asked him who the little girl was, and he told me her name was Kaylin. Kaylin Carter. I didn’t ask any more questions, Cherish. Your father didn’t like me in his business. He never did. But eventually he bought Kaylin’s mother by here and introduced me to her. She was nice woman, and she had no idea that he was married with two kids. That poor woman was in the dark. He had hidden his life from her and was living a different life with her. Yes, it did bother me. And I did beg him to tell your mother, but your father did what he wanted to do. Nobody; and I mean nobody could tell your father how to live his life.”

  “So, you knew about her all this time and you never said anything to me?” I wanted to cry. I felt the tears building in the wells of my eyes.

  “I didn’t wanna start nothing, Cherish. Everybody was living their life. Why would I disrupt that? And I made a promise to your father that I wouldn’t say anything. He told me he would come clean when the time was right, but unfortunately, he never got the chance to do that.”

  “So, I’ve just been in the dark all this time. Now I gotta tell Dorian. How do think he’ll take it?”

  “He has no choice but to accept it, Cherish. There’s nothing you can do about it now.” She said.

  I was pissed. I hated when people kept secrets from me; especially a secret like this. I felt it was my right to know if I had other siblings. I left out of my grandmother’s room with an attitude. I wasn’t putting all the blame on her, but she was a part of it, and I just couldn’t understand why it took so long for me to find out.

  When I went back downstairs Dorian was gone and Colin and Jillain were sitting on the couch talking.

  “Colin, where’s Dorian?”

  “He went out. He said he would be right back.”

  “Well, you need to leave,” I told him.

  “Oh, you kickin’ me out?”

  “Yes.”

  “But, I wanted to talk to you. Ever since I came back I been trying to talk to you, but you keep pushing me away. What’s the problem?”

  “There is no problem. I don’t wanna talk, now go, please…”

  I knew I was being rude, but I didn’t care. I didn’t feel like talking. And I damn sure didn’t feel like talking to Colin.

  He put his puppy dog face on, got up from the couch and walked out the door.

  “Why you treat that boy like that, Cherish? He really loves you. You should at least give him a chance,” Jillian said.

  I sucked my teeth and rolled my eyes at her. “Bitch, please, you give him a chance,” I said.

  “That’s fucked up,” she laughed.

  I heard the front door open and then slam shut.

  “Dorian?”

  “Wassup, sis?”

  “Where were you?” I asked him when he walked into the living room.

  “I had to run out for a minute.”

  “Run out? Dorian, it’s almost twelve o clock, where the hell did you have to run out to?”

  “Sis, I had to take care of something, why you trippin’?”

  “Why am I trippin’? Because it’s late, and there’s nothing outside but drug addicts and hustlers. What, you got a girlfriend? Please tell me you got a girlfriend, because that’s the only reason you should be out this late.”

  He laughed.

  “I’m not laughing, Dorian. Nothing about this is funny. I know you’re up to something, and if I find out it’s something you’re not supposed to be doing, I’ma fuck you up. And you know I’ll fuck you up,” I told him.

  He shook his head and walked up the stairs to his room.

  “Eventually you gon’ have to let him grow up, Cherish,” Jillian said.

  I looked at her like she was crazy.

  “Grow up?” I wasn’t trying to hear that. Dorian was my little brother, and he would always be. “Jillian… let me handle this please… thank you.”

  “Okay, okay… I’m fallin’ back. I know that’s your lil’ brother,” she replied.

  We kicked it for a few more minutes before Jillian left and I went to bed.

  13

  Two months passed and everything seemed like it was going well; at least from what I was seeing. My website was up and running. I was making sells, but not as many as I thought I would. I could tell from a week and a half of running my own business that this was going to be harder than I expected. The only way I could get it to flourish, is if I put my all into it, so that’s exactly what I decided to do. It was this or nothing.

  I had to keep busy with business in order to push all the crazy thoughts I was having out of my head. For some strange reason, I didn’t like Kaylin. Take it how you want, I didn’t like the bitch, and on top of that, I wanted to fuck her man. Screw that, I am going to fuck her man. Not to spite her, but because I want to. It was something I had been meaning to do anyway.

  My grandmother was doing much better. She could move about the house as she wanted with hardly any mishaps, and that was a great achievement. It put a smile on my face every time I walked into the kitchen and saw her at the stove doing the one thing she loved to do most, whi
ch was cook. She joked with me all the time about death, like she wasn’t afraid; maybe she wasn’t, but I was. I was definitely afraid of her going. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like; I didn’t want to imagine what it would be like.

  Dorian was being Dorian. I swear I wanted to choke his ass. But this nigga was getting bigger by the minute. He was my little brother in age, but looking at us, you would think I was the little sister.

  Just two days ago he turned eighteen and you couldn’t tell him a damn thing. I was honestly thinking about giving him the Porsche truck, even though I know he didn’t deserve it. He was hardhead, obnoxious, and selfish at times, but he was still my little brother, and he held a special place in my heart; no matter what he did.

  “What happened, sis, what’s the rush?” he asked, coming down the steps.

  “Nothing happened, Dorian. I want you to take a ride with me.”

  “A ride? C’mon sis… I got things to do.”

  I looked at him and rolled my eyes, “You ain’t got nothing to do, boy… cut it and go put a jacket on,” I told him.

  He gave me that look. I knew he didn’t wanna go, but hey, I was making him come anyway. It was a surprise.

  The fall season kicked in leaving piles of leaves on the street and scattered along my truck. It must have rained overnight because the ground was wet and my windows had droplets on them.

  “Did it rain this morning?” I asked Dorian as we got into the truck.

  “Yeah, it was pouring this morning. You didn’t hear all that thunder?”

  We drove twenty five minutes north to White Plains and I pulled into the parking lot of the Mercedes Benz dealership. Dorian had no clue of what was going on because I told him that I had to come see a mechanic about my car.

  “Wait here, I’ll be right back,” I said, getting out the car. I left the key in the ignition and walked into the dealership.

  I spotted a tall white guy wearing a dress shirt and slacks, standing behind a desk. As I got closer I could see his name tag.

  “Hey, Tim,” I said, extending my arm to shake his hand. “I’m Cherish, we spoke on the phone.

  “Oh, hey… how you doing, Cherish. Yea, we got your car out back. You wanna check it out?”

  “Sure,” I said, and followed him out the back door.

  When I stepped out the door, my eyes fell on the most beautiful car I had ever seen in my life.

  “Here it is,” Tim said. “Obsidian black metallic, two thousand and Ten, S Five Fifty Mercedes Benz. You like?”

  I couldn’t even get the words out of my mouth, but from my facial expression Tim could see how excited I was.

  The car was just as I had pictured it. It was all black and resembled a spaceship. Tim opened the driver side door and told me to get in.

  “See how it feels, grab the wheel, get comfortable.

  After thirty seconds of sitting in the driver’s seat, I was sold. “I want it. I want it right now. Can I drive it home?” I asked.

  Tim laughed at my excitement. “Sure. All we need to do is finalize the sale with some paperwork and you can drive it right off the lot, but what about your truck?”

  “Oh, I’m giving it to my little brother. He turned eighteen the other day. I figured I would surprise him.”

  “That’s a nice gift,” he said. “Well, let’s get this paperwork signed and then you can go surprise him.”

  After I signed the papers, Tim tossed me the keys to my new car and I drove it around to the front. I pulled up beside Dorian. He was still sitting in the passenger seat of the Porsche.

  I rolled the window down and shouted at him, “Go ahead and get in the driver’s seat!”

  “For real?” he couldn’t believe it.

  “Yes. That’s yours now. Take care of it,” I said, pulling out of the parking lot.

  The look on Dorian’s face was priceless. I loved my little brother.

  ________

  A few days later Jillian woke me out of my sleep when she kept calling my phone at nine in the morning.

  “Jillian, it’s nine o clock in the morning, what do you want?”

  “Meet me at Raquel’s house, Cherish, hurry up,” she said.

  “What happened?” I asked, but she hung up.

  I jumped up, threw some sweats and a T shirt on, grabbed a jacket and rushed out the door. It took me fifteen minutes to get to Raquel’s house. When I got there, the front door was open. I walked in and Raquel and Jillian were sitting on the sofa. I could see Raquel had been crying. She had dried tears on her face.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Jillian looked at Raquel and then looked at me. I looked at Raquel and she burst out in tears.

  I’m looking at Jillian for some type of answer, but all she’s giving me is a blank stare.

  “Raquel,” I put my hand on her shoulder, “It’s going to be alright… what happened?”

  I could see she was trying to say something, but her cries were drowning out her words.

  “Calm down, Raq…. every—”

  “I’m H.I.V positive, Cherish…” she mumbled, cutting my words short, “That bastard gave me H.I.V! It’s not gonna be alright!” she shouted as get jumped off the sofa and ran to the back of the house.

  I watched her storm out of the living room. I didn’t know what to say. The only thing I could do was hang my head and run my hand over my face. This was too much to deal with.

  “That shit is fucked up, Cherish…” Jillian whispered. “What are we gonna do?”

  “The only thing we can do is be there for her, Jillian. She really needs us right now.”

  We sat there in shock, baffled at the news Raquel just revealed to us. It was surreal, like a dream or something. It definitely didn’t feel like real life.

  We stayed the night with Raquel, just the three of us, holding each other like we were kids. It felt good to have friends that cared. It really did.

  14

  A week passed since Raquel had given us the terrible news of her contracting H.I.V. I still couldn’t understand why. I prayed every night, asking God what the reason for this was. Why did he have to choose my friend? Not that I would wish something like that on someone else, but damn, this was real close to home. But the more I prayed on it and the more I kept my faith, the more I realized that God didn’t make mistakes. Everything was done for a reason. We may not know the reason in the beginning, or we may not ever know the reason, but there is a reason; and he knows.

  The sweet smell of cinnamon pancakes and honey bacon teased my nostrils, bringing me out of a deep sleep. It was the first Sunday of November, and as usual, my grandmother was in the kitchen, cooking up a big breakfast. Sunday was the best day of the week because she cooked three times; breakfast, lunch and dinner.

  I pushed the covers off me, got up, brushed my teeth, washed my face and made my way downstairs to get ready to eat. I saw that I had two missed calls from Simeon. I hadn’t heard from him in a week, but I would make it my business to return his call.

  I got down to the kitchen and Dorian was already there, sitting at the table. My grandmother was at the sink, washing the last few dishes that were left. When I looked at the spread of food on the table, all I could do was smile.

  “Now this is Sunday breakfast,” I said.

  There was grits, scrambled eggs, bacon, fried whiting, fried shrimp, croissants, pancakes and a few more tasty dishes. I gave my grandmother a kiss on the cheek and playfully slapped the back of Dorian’s neck.

  “Stop playin’ Cherish…”

  “Shut up boy,” I laughed.

  “Y’all better stop playin’ and get to eatin’. That food gon’ get cold,” my grandmother said.

  “That’s why we got the microwave, grandma,” Dorian replied.

  “You better leave that micro-wave alone… you gon’ turn into a goddamn micro-wave.”

  We laughed and I made Dorian and me a plate of food. My grandmother left us and went upstairs. After I ate, the sluggishness kicked in full time. Do
rian said he was going out and I gave him my usual speech about being safe and not getting into trouble. He told me the same thing he told me every time.

  “Alright, okay sis, I’m good.”

  I took his word for it and went upstairs to get a nap in before I went to church.

  An hour and a half later my phone rang. I thought I was dreaming, but it kept getting louder and louder. The only way I could get it to stop was if I answered it.

  “Hello?”

  “Hello, Miss Parker, this is Cindy with Allbate Insurance Company. How are you doing today?”

  I sat up in the bed. “I’m alright, Cindy,”

  “Well, I’m calling because we tried to process a payment, but we’re getting a decline on the account.”

  “Decline?”

  “Yes, I’ve tried to process it several times before calling you, but there’s nothing we can do. Maybe you need to call your bank and see what’s going on,” she told me.

  I was just waking up, so I wasn’t too comprehensive. I looked at my phone to see exactly who I was talking to. It was my insurance agency, but what the hell was she talking about.

  “Hello, Miss Parker?”

  “Yes, I’m still here. I’m just trying to figure out why the payment is being declined.”

  “Well, as I’ve said, I think you should call your back and check in with them.”

  “Okay, thank you, Cindy.”

  I ended the call, jumped out of bed and snatched my laptop off the dresser. I logged into my online bank account and a message appeared on the screen. The message was giving me a number to call in order to find out what was wrong with my account. There was nothing I could do to get pass the pop-up message.

  What the fuck is going on? I thought to myself. I dialed my bank’s customer service number and waited for someone to answer. When the operator answered, I gave her all my information and she put me on hold. When she returned, she began telling me that my account was frozen, but she couldn’t tell me why. She gave me another number to call so I could speak with someone who would be able to help me.