“You guys are together?” Mabel asks me in a stage whisper; I’m glad the humans at the other end of the bleachers can’t do anything but watch.
“He told—?” I begin, but Kylie cuts me off as the others casually arrange themselves in the available seats around us.
“Gingers tend to blush when they keep secrets. Aaden saw through him right away,” she says.
“I guess foxes blush when they have secrets, because we’re in on the scheme too,” Femi says, craning her neck up to look at tall Truman as he takes a seat with the guys lining the seats to our right. “So the answer is probably yes, even if she won’t tell you so.”
“Thanks for your input,” I grumble, but my heart
soars as I see how well everyone is interacting. Hasida was wary, as well as Aaden and Truman, but they’re quite willing to try this out and see what happens.
“Any girl Duncan likes is welcome around us,” Mabel confides happily. “Now if we can just get Truman to date, our group will be perfect!”
“I might be able to help with that,” Femi winks, and though she’s cheery I can tell she’s testing Mabel just
like I tested these friends before by offering a handshake.
“Good luck,” Kylie snorts. “If you can distract him from his rock band, I’ll plan a parade for your first date.”
“Wonderful, a challenge,” Femi grins in Truman’s direction, waggling her eyebrows like an arch villain, and somehow that’s the card she needed to play to help everyone relax and laugh. I’m shocked, but in the best way possible.
Maybe we have hope for getting along after all, I muse, absentmindedly eating my food. It may be silly to base the fate of my race on one just-begun interaction
between high school students, but I can’t help but be encouraged as introductions are passed around like a new and interesting candy meant for sharing. I know that one of my weaknesses might be trusting too soon, but as far as starting friendships go, this seems like a good place to begin.
Duncan’s gaze warms my face like the perfect early autumn sunlight streaming through the sky. We’re not sitting next to each other since, in spite of the apparent outing of our budding relationship to the perceptive group around us, we don’t want any outsiders to observe anything but an unusual mix of human and half-breed students enjoying a lunch hour together. I smile at him, looking around at the group and back to him, showing my pleased surprise.
“Thanks for working this out short notice,” I tell him once the others are caught up in interaction and asking absurd questions. I keep an eye out for a
conversational lull, desperate to avoid awkwardness, but so far I haven’t been needed.
“No problem. I’m glad your friends don’t mind us party crashing,” he replies, snatching a bite of my food; I’m reminded of Morgan’s habit of always bringing Lyle lunch, deciding I might do the same. But only once in a while.
“They didn’t mind you party crashing on Friday,” I tell him, grinning at the thought that Femi and Hasida are actually okay with my choice of boyfriend. It’s unexpected and refreshing: no one has been on our side yet about dating.
“They knew?” he asks, glancing towards my half-breed friends as they point out their unique animal traits to the others upon request.
“They’re Reiss: they always know trouble when they see it,” I shrug. “Speaking of trouble, how much did you get in when that teacher caught you in the stairwell earlier?”
“Not much, since she told me to go back to class…I went out to my car though, since if you came in late right before I got to class a few minutes later that would look weird,” he says, reaching up to rub his neck again. I’m distracted by the hot memory of Duncan’s proximity to me in the stairwell, but I clear my throat and calm myself before I blush again.
“Oh…well, don’t get in trouble on my account again,” I say before remembering the shouting fest that’s probably going to happen tonight after Hayley’s dinner. “Not school trouble, that is,” I clarify.
“Ah, it’s worth it,” Duncan says, and his tone is so warm he might have said “you’re worth it” instead. The
appealing canine scent drifts briefly through the air again and I wish I could capture the scent in my fur.
It is worth it, I think as Duncan gives me another reassuring smile before rejoining the conversation.
26
It’s still worth it, I remind myself as I listen to Eisen rant in the car on the way back to the house. Contrary to Hayley’s opinion about whether or not I should tell my currently bad-tempered brother about the real reason for tonight’s dinner, I decided it would be wiser to warn Eisen about Duncan’s presence before he showed up. The excuse would be that Duncan’s dad dropped him off about a block away on his commute to his night shift, but since I’d be revealing Duncan’s identity tonight anyway, Duncan could walk the few blocks to his parked car and drive away on his own after the dinner.
“Why the hell did you think this would be a good plan, Sierra?” Eisen shouts at me, gripping the steering
wheel so tightly as we turn that I’m afraid the whole thing will snap off.
“You told me to tell you whenever I was with Duncan,” I mutter grumpily; I just put up with an afternoon trying to avoid everyone but Femi and Hasida, and Lyle’s attention discouraged me after my lunch pow-wow with the Reis girls. “This is me telling you.”
“I hardly meant you should parade him around the
family and bring him with us to the Manchesters' house for Tuesday dinner!” he exclaims like Tuesday dinner is a white tie event.
“Hayley invited him,” I insist. “So it’s not like I’m being rude and dragging an unwelcome guest into things. Besides, her mom invited him as well, so it’s not like Bernette would care.”
“That is not the issue!” Eisen swells up, prepared to spout more useless reasons why I shouldn’t bring my boyfriend along, but I’ve had enough.
“You're right, Eisen! The issue is that Duncan is actually a half-breed, so if you shut your trap for two minutes, I could explain what’s going on!” I shout, my voice ringing in the tiny space of Eisen’s beat-up car. Before I can react further, Eisen slams on the breaks at a traffic light; I have a feeling he would’ve slammed on the breaks anyway, regardless of traffic.
“What was that?” Eisen asks. His voice sounds eerily soft as he swivels in his seat to regard me. The atmosphere seems to crackle like thunderstorm is nearby after my shouting. I look out the window, unable to meet the piercing blue gaze of my older brother.
“You heard me. I understand if you don’t believe me, but I think you know I wouldn’t lie about something like this,” I say. My voice feels like it should be hoarse, but my words come out smooth. Eisen stays silent for too long; the light changes and we sluggishly turn the corner.
“Well?” he says right when I open my mouth to ask him to say something.
“Well what?”
“Explain. You just told me that your boyfriend who I thought was human is actually a half-breed, and you also told me to shut my trap and listen. I’m trying to do that, so please explain before I explode,” Eisen says, each syllable armed with a painful edge.
“It’s a secret…only you, Hayley, and I know. Hopefully Harold and Wade will know by tonight, if they accept Duncan accompanying us to the Manchester’s for dinner,” I begin haltingly. “Only trustworthy people know, which is why I’m telling you, Eisen. I think…I think this explains some of why I’m unwilling to give my feelings for this boy up.”
“If that’s true, then I’m sorry for what I said when you got home the other night. This…this changes everything. I…”Eisen is speechless. He doesn’t know what to say, like I didn’t when Duncan revealed his German Shepherd DNA to me by the lake.
“It shouldn’t,” I say quietly, finally directing my gaze to Eisen. “It shouldn’t matter one bit whether he’s human or half-breed. I…I don’t know what love feels like, Eisen, but my feelings are…very strong. Strong in spite o
f the short time that’s passed, strong in ways I can’t describe.”
Eisen sighs, perhaps in frustration. “But what you’re telling me changes everything. It does matter. Half-breeds find mates young, Sierra, typically under twenty-five. That’s because something in our DNA recognizes a match and…attaches, bonds, whatever. Our human feelings play a part and follow along, but his half-breed DNA changes this into something more serious. And the fact that he can be human or half-breed at will…”
“I know it’s scary,” I say as another wave of
confusion and worry crosses my brother’s face; if he wasn’t wearing his hat from work, I know his ears would be trembling. “I know. It’s unexplainable and weird, but it’s true. He was a human, and now he’s a half-breed, and I—”
My thoughts fragment apart, repeating a phrase my logic refuses to back up as Duncan’s face and shifting eye colors and his calming voice resurface in my brain. I’m still learning his personality, but I think of his loyalty to his friends and his curiosity about everything, and I know I’ll love learning about him for as long as possible. I put my hand over my mouth to keep from admitting feelings I can’t yet accept myself.
I think I love him.
Eisen remains silent for the rest of the drive; we’re both stiff in our seats, lost in thought as the afternoon sun I appreciated earlier beats oppressively through the windows. My fur stands on end, and excess moisture gathers in my eyes, though I’m not unhappy.
“Harold needs to know,” Eisen speaks gruffly, passing the responsibility to decide on the issue to my eldest brother. “If he makes a decision you don’t like, you’ll be more willing to listen to him instead of me.”
I don’t deny the truth of this. “I will tell him, but not until we get home after dinner. The whole point of this exercise is so Wade and Harold get to know Duncan a little before the human stigma comes into play,” I say. I don’t add that Eisen is the main reason I want my brothers to meet my boyfriend as a half-breed: I can’t afford to have the bias my kind has against humans working against me.
“Fine,” Eisen grunts as he pulls into our driveway
and garage. I grab my school bag and open my car door to exit, but he stops me by laying a clammy hand on my arm. When I look at his face, I see his eyes are closed and his lips are white. Guilt knots in my gut.
“Do you know what this means, S?” he asks me in a voice barely above a whisper. “He’s a human born half-breed. Are you sure you want to go on with this?” I consider the warning, the plea for this to go away. In some ways, life might be easier if I could pretend Duncan had never come into my life. The world would resolve itself into clear lines again: half-breed versus human.
“He’s not dangerous, Eisen. I’m sure,” I say, my voice the same volume as his. He opens his eyes, staring at me with a wariness that hurts. Perhaps desiring to say more, he moves to speak, but then he closes his mouth with a snap and practically leaps out of the car. I follow at normal speed, suddenly exhausted from the short conversation with my brother. At least I know Eisen won’t sell me out; I can tell Harold about all of this on my own terms.
I send a message to Hayley as I enter the house; Harold and Wade still aren’t off work, although they will
be in time for us to leave for Hayley’s about five o’clock.
SIERRA MAURELL: Phase one of the plan is complete. Better so far to tell Eisen beforehand.
HAYLEY MANCHESTER: Excellent. How long did he yell?
SIERRA MAURELL: Not very long.
HAYLEY MANCHESTER: That sounds suspicious. Keep an eye on him.
SIERRA MAURELL: I plan to. You’re still sure about us bringing our drama to your house tonight?
HAYLEY MAURELL: Please…I can’t wait to see you!
This conversation encourages me, and the tension making my muscles tight eases. I have other reasons to be nervous or excited for tonight, but I do miss my best friend; I don’t have anyone else like her in my life. Femi and Hasida seem more like promising friends, but friendships take time to build, and Hayley and I have known each other since before my mother died.
Glancing at the clock as I get ready, I think of my mother as I select the right clothes to wear. I don’t want to be too fancy, so I settle for a grungy pair of plum corduroys falling just above my knees, a turquoise colored t-shirt with cute buttons, and the leather rose choker Wade bought me for my sixteenth birthday. I
wonder what she’d think of my life right now: she would be pleased with my close relationships with my brothers, but I’m not sure what she would think about the Duncan affair. Miraculously, none of my brothers got sick from the toxins she brought home by accident and I did. I survived, although I was weak and panicky for a long time, and she died before we could really get to know each other.
What would you think, Mum? The thought zips past the boundary where I store painful memories, and suddenly I’m conversing with someone who isn’t on this
earth. You married Dad when you were young, so would you understand why I feel this way about Duncan? Would you like him, or would you be on Eisen’s side? My questions don’t get answers, not from the porcelain-skinned, dark-haired woman with the warmest grey eyes I’ve ever known.
One question I don’t dare voice: which side of myself should I give more power in this case? The fox whose instincts scream for more of Duncan in spite of the approaching turmoil caused by the vote, or the human who can’t logically explain why her feelings are so strong? I’ve always believed that balance is the key to happiness, but these two sides of me have become increasingly tricky to reconcile.
I do know what my mother would say about the vote: she lost my dad to the fighting, raised her sons and daughter as a single mother in a post-war city, and I doubt she’d be anything but livid about the very fact that the vote is allowed in the first place.
I spend the rest of my time getting ready alone, and I empty my mind of anything stressful as I shower, blow-dry and curl my hair, and perfect my make-up. It’s not easy: I keep picturing Harold’s and Wade’s faces once I tell them I’m bringing my new boyfriend to Hayley’s, and then again as I reveal Duncan’s human side. Worse, I picture Duncan’s discomfort around my family and pseudo-family, and my stomach plummets.
So, by the time 4:55 rolls around, I’m a nervous wreck as I pace our living room floor. Harold won’t have time to change before work, but Wade just dashed upstairs shouting about a two minute shower. I hear Harold’s car pulling into the garage; Eisen should
be down here, but he’s nowhere in sight, and I worry that maybe I misjudged his willing silence about my secret. He could be up there right now, spilling the beans to Wade as he hunts down a mildly respectable t-shirt…
“Sierra? What’s wrong?” Harold’s voice startles me so much that a loud squeak escapes me, sounding a lot like someone stepped on a mouse. My plan all along has been to tell Harold and Wade at the last minute that I have a boyfriend, and he’ll be here any minute to come to the Manchester’s with us, but I’m horrified as the words burst from my mouth at top speed.
“Harold, I met this guy at school who I really like, and I invited him to come to Hayley’s with us…he’ll be here in a few minutes.”
Harold drops his scuffed and worn leather briefcase on the table with a thud; he was in the process of loosening his tie when I spoke. Eyebrows raised, he gives me a careful once-over before removing his tie and re-tucking his shirt into his pants.
“Yes, I could have guessed as much from what you’re wearing. Don’t you normally wear sweatpants to Hayley’s house?” He chuckles, shaking his head like I’m a child wearing my mother’s antique wedding dress again. “Bernette called me at work and asked if your gentleman friend would prefer barbecue ribs or Italian beefs. I told her you would prefer the less messy option.”
“Oh, I—Good call.” My voice is too high-pitched; I swallow and clear my throat before continuing. “I was planning to tell you myself, but I guess Hayley’s mother
beat me to it.
”
“That’s what I was hoping you’d say,” Harold sighs, shrugging his angular shoulders like he shrugs off the fatigue from late nights at the office; he strides over to me from the kitchen and abruptly envelopes me in a strong hug. I feel Harold’s thinness as I wrap my arms around him, and I sigh as he pats my hair.
“You’re not eating enough again,” I say softly into his chest, an old guilt squeezing my heart again. If I was working instead of finishing school, he wouldn’t have to spend so many hours at the office.
Harold grumbles and gently tugs my right fox ear. “Don’t change the subject, S. I regularly eat enough for three people, as you well know,” he says, but we both know he works more than he eats. “You know you can talk to me, right? I would have liked to know you had a boyfriend and wanted to bring him to meet our friends, just as any older brother would.”
“I know,” I reply, reluctantly taking a step back and out of the hug. Harold’s strong but long face possesses that dog-tired look many people in his generation seem to have, and I wish the people he works with gave him more appreciation. I might have misjudged my brother when it came to telling him the truth. “Harold…”
“Yeah?”
“I have something I need to tell you,” I begin, taking another breath to tell my story; perhaps he notices my serious expression, because he shakes his head to stop me.
“I’ve been betting you’re holding something back, S, but now isn’t the time. Maybe tonight after dinner
you can tell me, but right now I hear your boyfriend walking to the front door.”
He’s right: I’m familiar with Duncan’s step already, and I recognize his footsteps coming to the door. I’m partially glad Harold stopped me because Wade thumps down the stairs now, his brushed auburn tail waving saucily behind him. Eisen has been tolerable, Harold might even be kind, but Wade? I think, deciding Wade will barely accept Duncan as a half-breed boyfriend, never mind a human.
Vixen (The Fox and Hound Book 1) Page 28