by David, Luna
Tate looked into his eyes for several long-drawn-out moments, and finally asked, “And if it’s not okay with him?”
Ronan sat up slowly, rubbing his face and hating what he was about to say. “Then I’d have to end our sessions, Tate. He and I have talked about this at length. He’s a voyeur. He wants and, even if he doesn’t admit it, needs to watch me during my scenes.”
Tate was about to say something, but Ronan held up his hand. “We discussed it, and when I pushed, he finally admitted he didn’t like the idea of me doing it when he wasn’t watching. I have to respect that. Hell, I may eventually end up stopping altogether, but for now, he wants to explore this new side of himself.”
Tate took a deep breath and let it out, nodding. “I understand. You’re taking care of your boy just as I’m taking care of mine. You know I’m okay with it, but that’s contingent on how Kai feels about it. I can just about guarantee his knee-jerk reaction will be to refuse outright.”
“If that’s what you both end up deciding, I respect that. I’ll be sorry to end our scenes together, but I won’t push. If you do want to try another way, we could set something up, so they can meet each other. I have a feeling they’d really get along outside of play.”
Tate leaned his forearms on the table. “I won’t pressure him or stress him out, Ronan.”
“I understand that, and I wouldn’t want you to. We’ll see what he has to say and go from there.”
Tate nodded. “I appreciate you meeting me face to face. Hopefully we can work it out, but if not, no hard feelings. Regardless of our discussion today, our friendship will always stay intact, Ronan. I hope you know that.”
Ronan smiled and nodded. “I do know that. I know this will be a tough discussion for Kai, but please tell him it’s okay to say no. That I’ll understand, and we’ll always remain friends.”
“I will.”
“He’s come so far. I know how proud of him you must be.”
Tate nodded. “I am. He still doesn’t know his own worth or understand how important he is to me, but he will, eventually.” He hitched his thumb over his shoulder and said, “I need to get back to him. I’ll be in touch.”
They stood and shook hands, saying their goodbyes, and made their way to their cars.
As Ronan drove back, he thought about how much his life was changing with the addition of Jamie. They’d grown incredibly close, and he knew he’d do anything to make him happy. Somehow, in the span of several months, they’d become a critical part of each other’s lives, and he couldn’t be more grateful. Finding himself thinking about a future with Jamie still shocked him, but what shocked him even more was thinking about how empty his future would be without him.
When he got back to the office, Jamie was just walking a new patient to an exam room. He raised his brows and Ronan mouthed, “Later.”
Jamie nodded and they both got back to work, not having a moment to spare until the day was over. When it ended, they both wrapped up their work as quickly as possible and walked out to their cars. Ronan leaned in, bracketing his arms on either side of Jamie, and moving into him until his back was pressed against his car door.
He leaned down to the spot he loved best, where Jamie’s shoulder met his neck, and breathed him in. He’d never been so drawn to the smell of another person. He couldn’t think of a time he’d ever breathed a partner in like he did Jamie. His scent was a heady aphrodisiac…some kind of magical pheromones that bewitched Ronan’s senses.
He kissed, licked, and trailed his nose along his exposed throat until their lips met. He nearly devoured Jamie, leaning against his body, molding them together. When they came up for air, Jamie’s pupils were blown wide, and he was breathing fast.
After one last kiss, Ronan moved away from him and grinned at Jamie’s dazed expression. “Hop in your car and follow me home.” Jamie’s answering nod was slow in coming, and Ronan chuckled as he got into his own car. It wasn’t until he was pulling onto the main drag that he realized what he’d said.
Home. He was jumping the gun a bit, obviously. They weren’t living together…yet. The realization that he was thinking “yet,” coupled with the fact that it didn’t make him nervous, gave him pause. The thought of Jamie being there with him every day felt…right, even though he knew it was too soon. Ronan was feeling more and more comfortable, not only with where they were heading, but also in thinking of Jamie as a permanent part of his life.
Jamie followed him home, but as soon as they walked in the door, he asked, “So, how did it go?”
Ronan shrugged. “He won’t make a decision until he talks to Malakai. But his answer will probably be no.”
Jamie stood, arms wrapped around his middle, biting his lip. “I’m sorry. I know how much you care about them, especially Malakai because he was your patient. I could—”
Ronan approached and wrapped his arms around him. “No, Jamie. We’re not going there. You told me how you feel about it, and that’s how it’s going to be. I want this to work between us. You need to see you’re important to me, not just hear it being said. The last thing I want to do is cause damage to our relationship.”
Jamie nodded and leaned his forehead against Ronan’s shoulder. “I understand. Thank you. You only met a handful of your friends face to face, so I know that means you care about this couple specifically. I don’t want you to lose something special.”
Ronan pulled him in tighter, murmuring in his ear, “You’re that something special, Jamie. It’s you I’m concerned with losing. The others… I care about them and I’ve known them for years, but the scenes? They’re just a bonus and surely something I can live without if need be. The thing that really matters is my friendships with them, and I’m positive I won’t be losing any of them if they decide being watched isn’t for them.”
Ronan pulled back a bit, and Jamie lifted his head and gazed up at him. “You’re sure?”
Leaning down to kiss those beautiful lips, Ronan’s voice dropped as he said, “Mmmhmm. I’m positive.”
As always, Jamie shivered in his arms when Ronan spoke in his deep growl, and Ronan’s heart picked up speed as he melted into the kiss. He knew it would be impossible to keep himself from caring for Jamie more deeply each passing moment they were together. It had never been like this for him. He’d never run so hot, never been so enthralled, and never felt so close to someone in so short a time. Jamie made a difference in Ronan’s life. He was a breath of fresh air in a room with no windows.
He led them to the master suite. Heading into the walk-in closet, he began to change into his lounge pants and his fitted, long-sleeved black t-shirt. Only when he was done changing did he turn toward Jamie who, instead of changing, was sitting on the bed watching him. He had a look on his face that was part turned on still from their kiss and part exhausted from the long week.
Ronan smiled as he approached, stroking a finger down Jamie’s cheek and tipping his chin up so their eyes met. “Why don’t you go take a bath? I’ll make us dinner.”
“That’s okay. I can change and come help.”
Ronan’s expression grew serious. “I know you can, and thank you for the offer, but I need you to listen to me now and do as I say, all right?”
Jamie took a deep breath and let it out, his whole body losing its rigidity. He nodded. “Yes, Sir.”
“Good boy. Go on.”
He could practically feel the tension leave Jamie’s body when Ronan took charge in order to take care of him. When he finally learned how to shed the control he wore like a suit of armor and allowed himself to be controlled by Ronan, it had been a beautiful thing. So beautiful to Ronan he paid close attention anytime he thought that visceral release would happen.
As he walked into the kitchen, he thought about what a heady feeling it was…being the one who was able to do that for Jamie. It made him feel powerful, but also there was this sense of pride in taking care of Jamie…cherishing him because Jamie was his. He loved the yin and yang of those feelings in equal meas
ure.
It was thirty minutes later when Jamie walked into the kitchen, hair damp and tousled from the towel, with plaid pajama bottoms on, a plain white tee, and bare feet. “Perfect timing. Grab us some red wine, will you? I’ll be right in with dinner.”
He plated their meal of spice-rubbed beef tenderloins with chimichurri, sesame-lime rice, and roasted, chili-spiced courgette with Cotija cheese. He set them down on the table and chuckled as Jamie rubbed his hands together and put his napkin in his lap. “Ronan, have I ever told you you’re an okay doctor and all, but maybe you missed your calling as a chef?”
Ronan shook his head and gave Jamie a wide smile. “Several times. You’re gonna give me a complex. An ‘okay’ doctor?”
Jamie laughed and stroked Ronan’s thigh as he sat down. “Aww, you’re brilliant, Dr. Kink.”
Ronan groaned and shook his head. “Damn Gina and her big mouth.”
JAMIE
Jamie was a little nervous—actually a lot nervous—about going out that day with Ronan. They were going on a date. Not their first, but certainly, the most significant so far. It was a munch. On the surface, he shouldn’t be nervous. A munch was just a social gathering of like-minded people. No different than a book club. Except these guys would probably be talking about sex and kinks some of the time.
Yeah, no biggie.
It had been about two months since that night at Ronan’s when they’d agreed to date. Jamie had never dated this way before. They’d made the agreement to explore Jamie’s kink of voyeurism, discovering what turned him on or piqued his interest. In that time, they’d gone out to dinner, talked about anything and everything, and Jamie found comfort in the norm of it. It helped him know that not every aspect of their lives would revolve around kink. Not that he had an issue with that. It was just a lot to handle all at once.
His favorite times were when they were at Ronan’s house. They would sit and talk in front of Ronan’s fireplace on his unbelievably comfortable couch. Other times things turned heated. Those times Jamie loved too. Ronan’s hands on him wasn’t anything he would ever complain about.
But Jamie found he did miss watching the doctor in his scenes with others. Jamie was finding new things with just the two of them that turned him on, but so far, there wasn’t anything that compared to seeing Ronan fuck someone else and then getting fucked by Ronan afterward.
He sat in the passenger seat of Ronan’s Range Rover as they drove to the meeting spot. It was at a local restaurant in a reserved back room for the, apparently, thirty to forty people who would be there. Ronan had explained it wasn’t always so crowded, but this was the usual gathering for newbies to come see what was what. At least Jamie wouldn’t be alone.
Jamie knew what he was allowed to ask and what he wasn’t. He had a brain, so that didn’t take a lot of logical thought to figure out. Because duh.
What he was truly nervous about was…well…asking anything. It was embarrassing. By asking, Jamie felt like he was advertising his own wants and desires to complete strangers. Jamie didn’t want that. It made him feel exposed in a way that wasn’t sexy. Not like when Ronan stared or played with his hole. That kind of embarrassment was hot and made him all squirmy.
Anything Ronan did made him squirmy.
Like right then, Ronan had his hand on Jamie’s leg. He’d had guys do that and it was…nice and felt affectionate. But, the way Ronan’s hand gripped his leg or rubbed the inner seam of his thigh, it felt like possession and want. Ronan made it seem like he was doing it unconsciously, like he wasn’t trying to tease the fuck out of Jamie before they got to the restaurant. But he was. Jamie could tell. He may not know Ronan as well yet as he’d known some of his previous boyfriends, but what he’d observed of the man was that he did things with purpose. His actions were planned and calculated—checked and double-checked that they were getting their desired outcome. And if they weren’t, he redirected them.
Jamie squirmed in his seat again when Ronan’s finger skimmed his balls. Unfortunately for Jamie, Ronan’s touch seemed to always have an effect on him. An immediate, scorching effect.
It wasn’t fair.
Jamie was sure he had the same effect on Ronan, to a degree. His doctor wasn’t a closed-off man. He laughed, smiled, and opened his heart, but he was like a gambler, never letting anything he didn’t want to show on his face. It was an infuriating turn on.
They pulled into the parking lot about five minutes before the event started…Jamie, now rock-hard in his jeans. At least some of his nerves dispersed when his lust cranked up. Thank you, Ronan.
“Jamie.”
He turned toward the man who took up all his thoughts and relaxed at the smile on Ronan’s face. He was truly beautiful. Jamie was so screwed.
“Yeah?”
“Come here, boy.” Ronan pointed to his lap.
Jamie wasn’t that small. “I won’t fit on your lap!”
Ronan chuckled and moved his seat back. “Now, come on, climb into my lap like my good little nurse.”
Jamie wanted to roll his eyes because the man was insufferable, but the idea of climbing on his lap was exactly what Jamie really wanted so he wasn’t going to cause a fuss about it.
Two minutes, and maybe a bruise or two later, Jamie was somewhat sitting comfortably in Ronan’s lap. He straddled his thighs, his hands gently grasping Ronan’s neck. He wanted to sink into him. Let everything fall away.
“Now, open your pants for me, my needy little cockslut.”
Jamie was frozen. Open his what? “Umm here?” Jamie turned his head to look around when Ronan reached up and grabbed his chin.
“No, don’t look around. Do you think that I’d do anything to embarrass or hurt you? Really think about it, boy.”
Jamie did and he got what Ronan was saying. It was true. He did trust that Ronan wasn’t there to hurt him, but instinct screamed that letting his hard cock out in broad daylight, in a public parking lot, wasn’t something he should do. He desperately wanted to look around to make sure the coast was clear, but Ronan was asking for his trust. Jamie looked into his eyes. The calm certainty he saw helped him take the next step.
A moment later Jamie had his pants unzipped.
“Thank you, my beautiful boy.” Ronan leaned in and chastely kissed him on the lips. “Pull out your cock. I want to play a little.”
Jamie groaned. He wanted Ronan to play. He loved when he’d done that in the past, but his self-preservation was screaming once again. Jamie took a calming breath and did as he was instructed. Admittedly, he loved the thrill of pleasing Ronan, even if he only admitted it to himself. He had the sneaking suspicion Ronan knew the truth anyway.
Reaching in his briefs, Jamie pulled out his hard cock. He had to push his jeans down a bit in the back in order to achieve that—not once going soft even in the midst of his uncertainty.
“Hands at your sides, boy.” When his hands were where Ronan wanted them, Ronan brought his hand up, licked his palm, and then wrapped his warm, wet hand around Jamie’s length.
Jamie shivered.
Ronan stroked slowly and loose as he spoke. “I know you’re nervous, Jamie, but there’s no reason to be. You can sit and talk to me. You are not required to mingle or walk around. Just observe. Listen to those talk around you. You’ll see there’s nothing odd or weird about your own desires.”
Jamie moaned. He could see what the sexy, evil man was doing. But Ronan was right, and it shouldn’t have surprised Jamie that Ronan knew how nervous he was. He was intuitive that way. It was the crux of what Jamie’s problem was. He felt like all these things Ronan had brought out in him were odd and different and maybe not wrong but not…right? So fucking confusing.
Jamie nodded, unable to form words with the distraction on his cock. He thrust up just a small bit, trying not to listen to his body but failing epically.
“Tsk, tsk, boy, no trying to take your pleasure. I haven’t given you permission.” Ronan stopped his stroking and Jamie moaned again. “I need you to us
e your words, Jamie. Tell me you understand.”
As soon as Ronan stopped speaking, his stroking resumed, his grip tighter, and his strokes faster. Jamie was losing his mind.
“Yes.”
“Yes what, Jamie? I need to hear the words.”
Jamie wasn’t close, but it was like riding the border between being so turned on it wouldn’t take much to get him there and floating in a bath of pure fucking pleasure. He wanted it. He wanted to come, and he wanted it to go on forever.
Trying to think beyond the buzz of lust that Ronan was causing was hard. He never once looked away from Ronan. As much as Jamie’s eyes wanted to close—to let the world around them fall away and just concentrate on the sensations—it was the look of pure satisfaction and triumph on Ronan’s gorgeous face that made it impossible for Jamie. It was such a fucking turn-on. Ronan knew what he was doing to Jamie. But in that moment, Jamie couldn’t think of why Ronan was doing it. In public.
Jamie fought through the want muddling his thoughts and told Ronan what he wanted to hear. “I…I understand.”
Then everything stopped.
Ronan stopped his strokes. He removed his sinfully wonderful hand from Jamie’s cock and sat back, putting distance—as much as he could with Jamie on his lap—between them.
“Ronan?” Jamie whispered, trying to ignore the plea in his voice.
“Yes, boy?” Jamie kind of wanted to smack the man for that cocky goddamn smile on his face.
“Ugh.” He thunked his head down on Ronan’s shoulder, trying to calm himself down. “You are one mean bastard.”
A second after the words left his mouth, Jamie yelped from the slap that landed on his right ass cheek. It hadn’t hurt, not really enough room in the car for that, but it shocked him. “Stop talking back, my naughty little nurse. Just enjoy what I gave you. It was a gift.”
Without lifting his head, Jamie asked, “A gift?”