by Gay, Gloria
“But denying your love for me was not likely to advance Caroline’s ambitions,” said Robert. “Actually, when you left, I felt compelled to spend more time in London, to get away from her.”
“We were in a precarious situation at the house, Robert,” Celia replied. “Bella had overheard Caroline–this is too painful. I should rather not talk about it for now. Later, we might go into the details so that there is nothing between us anymore, but for now, Robert, I’d rather not expand on it.”
“I understand,” Robert said, kissing Celia’s hand which he still held. “Your reasons were noble, though they were a bitter pill to swallow. But we are together now. That’s what’s important. And I love you more than my life. Will you marry me, Celia?”
“Yes, oh, yes!” Celia replied. She kissed the hand that held hers. “I would be proud to be your wife.”
They turned as they saw Ellen and Maria returning to join them once again.
“We’re ready to have our tea, aren’t we, Maria? I believe we walked a mile!”
“Yes,” Maria confirmed with a guarded glance at the couple’s locked hands. “We are quite ready for our tea.”
* * *
Robert and Celia spent many hours in the garden during Bella’s convalescence. And the two couples were hardly aware of each other or of the company that called occasionally on the family.
The quiet, walled garden seemed a haven for Celia as she waited for Robert to conclude the day’s business. For Celia there was music and poetry in the soft summer breeze that danced through the trees and stirred the upturned faces of the daisies and quivered among the posies and daffodils.
“Those two might as well be on the moon for all the notice they take of us,” said Robert one morning when the sunshine warmed their faces and bees and butterflies buzzed around the flower beds. His glance was on Liddell and Bella, whose heads were close together as they bent over a book that Liddell had brought to Bella.
“Liddell cannot neglect his business much longer,” said Celia. “I believe he feels now that a moment spent not in Bella’s company is completely wasted.” But although Robert and Celia might view the other couple curiously they were hardly better themselves, as they spent every single available moment with each other hardly aware of life around them.
She was sorry when these dream-filled hours in the garden came to their end and the journey back to Shelton became uppermost in their plans.
The group was to make the journey back together and Bella, having recovered completely made plans for the return trip with spirit and energy. Celia was happy that her sister seemed her old self at last.
“Will Mamma be very angry at me, Celia?” Bella asked on the eve of their departure.
“Can anyone be angry with you for long? But now that you are recovered, Bella, I must have a talk with you.”
“I know,” Celia went on, “that you were influenced by others in this impulsive step you took. You were lucky at the outcome, yet it could have turned out differently just as well and then you would have brought grief not only to yourself but to those who love you dearly.”
“I am so ashamed, and have thought a lot on it,” Bella replied.
“And what have you concluded?”
“That I did not see the consequences of my action but only thought of the moment—and of being with Jack.”
“One cannot make decisions that are for the moment,” Celia said gently, “for decisions of such magnitude affect your whole life and may have consequences that cannot ever be mended. Are you aware that submitting to an impulse could have ruined your entire life and brought shame not only on yourself but on your family?”
“Yes, Celia,” Bella replied. “I think about it night and day, of how close to the brink I was because of being impulsive.”
“I think I am to blame in this, too,” Celia added, for she had given the matter a lot of thought. “You see, I have not allowed you to grow up. I was too comfortable in mothering you and in letting you be our infant child endlessly. I think it is because in you I saw that carefree youth that I was never allowed to experience and I have wanted to protect you from the harsh edges of life, to keep you sheltered from the reality that made an adult out of me so early in my youth.
“I thought that Mama lived vicariously through you and babied you, but I have to admit that I have a greater burden in not letting you mature. Even the way I address you is revealing, for I never call you Bella, but ‘pet’ or ‘child’. You see, I think I unconsciously wanted at least one of us not to be exposed to the harsh reality of our situation.
“I’m not too afraid of this adoration of Liddell’s that sees you not as a woman but as a goddess, for he is a practical young man and must soon come down from that cloud. It’s up to you, Bella to become a mature young woman, neither child nor goddess.
“Liddell is very much in love with you. I hope he will see that he has fallen in love with a young lady who is anxious to improve her mind and her person and that she is growing into adulthood aware of her responsibility toward others and to herself.
“Do you understand what I have tried to say, Bella?”
“I do want to become a better person, Celia, but I fear I need guidance.”
“I am most anxious to help you in every way I can,” Celia said, her eyes misting. “Come, my dear sister, embrace me, for I fear I am at the point of tears already.”
Celia and Bella walked hand in hand to the garden where Robert and Liddell waited for them.
* * *
The journey to Shelton was soothing as it was uneventful and the hours passed swiftly.
When they arrived at Rook’s End they found the house with only the servants in it. Uncle Worth had not yet returned from Liverpool and neither had the young ladies sent word from Bath.
Robert, Ellen and Liddell stayed with Celia and Bella only for a few more minutes while they settled in, then continued on to Shelton. Robert had offered Liddell his home for the two days the young man planned to remain in the area. It was still early and though Ellen was too exhausted from the trip and too anxious to see her father to return, both Robert and Liddell were to return to dine at Rook’s End with the girls, for none of the four wanted to end the evening so early when twilight shadows had just begun to steal around the quiet estate.
“I have known Liddell for some time, Bella,” Celia said to her sister, “and I am very happy that you and he are now friends. He is one of the sweetest-natured young men I have ever known and if your relationship would grow into the direction of marriage I would be almost as happy as you. I hope dearly that someday he shall become my brother-in-law.”
“In time,” Bella said, “for I do not want to rush into another relationship. I think both of us will benefit from a leisurely engagement. I do so want to do things right this time. But I am happy that you approve of him so wholeheartedly, for I have become very fond of him.”
“Celia,” Bella added after a moment, “will it not seem strange to live at Farley Hall?”
“It was Mother’s home for a few years when she was a child, Bella. I believe that since it was once her home it will soon seem home to us, also.”
“Still, it is wondrous and strange!”
“It’s a beautiful house. I am very anxious for you to see it. It’s rather neglected, for lack of money…” A knock at the door interrupted the girls’ conversation.
“Nellie!” The girls embraced her in turn and Nellie, her eyes filled with tears kept looking from one to the other and finally told them that Worth Delaney had sent an express. He was to arrive in two days’ time. And word had been sent to the house also that Caroline and Sylvia were to coincide with his arrival.
After a few more minutes of talk with Nellie the girls settled by the window and Nellie went to tell cook that two young men were expected for dinner.
* * *
The following morning Celia went to call on Mrs. Bundy. Bella stayed home to rest from the journey which in her still delicate condition had tired
her.
Celia found Mrs. Bundy in low spirits and noticed how the sweet lady had even neglected her appearance. The ribbons on her hair which were usually crisp and bright drooped as her mood and her bright chartreuse gown had stains down the bodice.
Celia did all she could to lift her from dejection for she had never seen her in such a condition. Mrs. Bundy had always been lively and optimistic. She stretched the visit longer than she had planned and entertained her with exciting renditions of the events that had rocked their lives of late until she was glad to see the kind lady’s spirit rise.
Mrs. Bundy was delighted that Farley Hall had passed to them and marveled at the stroke of fate that had change their fortune.
“How happy I am for you, dear,” she said, “and for your dear mother, who must be beside herself with joy!”
“We still feel the newness of it,” Celia replied, “and must adjust our minds to all the changes. I only await my uncle’s arrival and then we shall make plans to remove ourselves to—”
Celia had stopped mid-sentence on seeing the change in Mrs. Bundy’s face, and guessing the reason for it she leaned over and clasped her hand.
“Dear Mr. Bundy, you fear our departure.”
Tears glistened in Mrs. Bundy’s eyes and rolled down her powdered face that was as soft as molded dough.
Celia glanced around the room, a small prim parlor furnished with the furniture she had for many years seen in Mrs. Bundy’s house in London, for throughout the years she had been in and out of that house as had the lady been to hers.
“There is only one thing left to do,” Celia said. “You must make your home with us at Farley Hall. I’m certain Fred will agree with me, for he is very fond of you.”
Mrs. Bundy looked up, in her eyes a mixture of elation and incredulity.
“Yes,” Celia repeated, happy at how the solution had instantly presented itself to her. “You are going to live at home with us, sweet lady. Farley Hall is a huge place and there certainly is room enough for our dearest friend. You are as family to us. You must know that!”
“Celia, my dear, you’re not jesting? This is not something said just to cheer me up?”
“Of course not, Mrs. Bundy, I’m speaking in earnest.” Her mother’s reaction crossed Celia’s mind momentarily but only so, she had always known how to deal with her mother. Besides, she was soon to marry and Bella would follow her footsteps shortly after. Then Mrs. Meade would be left alone without company in that large house with only Fred. The only friends close by were Henrietta and her family at the lodge, and even that was a distance of ten miles.
“My dear, you have given me such happiness that I must now reveal something of special import to you.”
h?” Celia winced. She was a little afraid of revelations for great events and assorted calamities had shaken them of late. She could not bear another one so close in the heels of the last ones.
“Before I moved here to Shelton to be close to your family, I had a meeting with my solicitor in which I named you, Fred and Bella as my heirs. And you will also be happy to hear, Celia that part of your inheritances from me will be given to you in the next few weeks. Fred is my main heir, as he will need funds to restore the hall, but you and Bella will each have a trust account, which will be settled on you very soon, to use as your dowries.”
“I’m—I’m at a loss for words, Mrs. Bundy. You’re so kind,” Celia’s eyes filled with tears. She hugged Mrs. Bundy as the lady also sniffled with tears of joy.
“There are many things to do, Celia. Will you help me with all the moving and the arrangements? I’m certain there are some pieces of furniture here Margaret might like to have at the hall.”
“You will be surprised to find hardly any furniture at the hall, Mrs. Bundy. Sir Hugh sold most of it to pay off bills, so of course your furniture will be very welcome.”
“Oh?” Well, then we can take it all!”
“Please have dinner with us tonight, Mrs. Bundy, and we shall then have more plans to make for your removal to the hall.”
“Celia, do you imagine how happy you have made me?”
CHAPTER 23
Early next morning, Celia awoke to the sounds of birds twittering and the smell of roses underneath her window, which were full-blown and heavy with scent.
She dressed quickly and before anyone was up went to the little wood which had been the scene of so many happy and bittersweet memories. She remembered Robert’s words, to always have her walking cane with her.
She crossed Crescent Meadow where moles and rabbits scurried away at her step and headed toward a place that had once lived so much in her thoughts: the gamekeeper’s cottage in the Shelton Forest. It would be locked, she was certain, for Robert had told her the caretaker had gone to another town to care for his mother, who was ailing, but at least she would be able to see it on the outside and re-live that other time in her mind.
If the outcome of her life had been different she would not have been able to bear the sight of the cottage but now, with her heart filled with her love for Robert, it was another happy place to her, a place where she had shared an enchanted summer with him.
She walked through the dense wood where trees in full foliage shivered under the sun and the breeze made lace patterns on the nettles under her feet. The sharp autumn wind whipped at her face and the scents of pine and cedar and fir tumbled on her senses.
But as she went down the slope and the cottage loomed before her she noticed that there was smoke coming out from its chimney. She wondered if the game keeper had returned ahead of time from his trip and was inside cooking his meal. Well, no matter, she did not think he would mind if she just stepped inside for a moment and glanced around. Landrew was a nice burley fellow and she had spoken with him on several occasions.
She knocked and having no response she turned the door knob and walked in and exclaimed in delight as she saw Robert leaning over a boiling kettle.
He turned to her and his face lit up in surprise and in a few long strides he had reached her and clasped her hard against him.
“Our memories have coincided,” he said, pulling her away from him for a moment to look into her eyes. “I wanted to re-live that time again.” He took her face in his hands and his lips now sought hers with a craving and a need which she instantly matched. They pulled away from each other, astonished at their runaway emotions and breathless from the kiss.
“We better have some tea,” said Robert with a short laugh, “or I will begin to think that elopement is the only decent way to get married, rather than wait several weeks.”
In the same manner that he had done that long-ago time he brought the cups and the spoons to the table where she sat. But this time he poured the water of the tea leaves in the teapot and then served her a cup of the steaming liquid. He then sat before her and covered her hand with his while they waited for the tea to seep.
“If you had searched for a way to give me immense joy you would not have found anything than better than seeing you come into this room.”
She told him that at the ball the next day when he had danced the waltz with him there had been a moment when she almost blurted her love for him and how she had slept only a few hours that night.
“I didn’t sleep at all,” he admitted, a boyish look on his face as he remembered.
“I felt there was nothing left to live for,” he added.
“My love…”
“I had been so certain of your love—and then, the blow!”
“You were right to be certain of it. Yet I could not admit it.”
“Even now I have this fear that if I do not marry you now, today, something will happen.”
“Nothing will happen. We’re together at last and nothing will ever pull us away from each other,” Celia assured him. “Do you know,” Celia added, glancing around the room, “I often imagined that we were married and that this was our house—this sweet little cottage but that it was in another vast forest where nobody knew us. And that I co
oked on that hearth and waited for you to come home.”
“And what did I do for a living?”
“Oh, you hunted, or kept sheep. The details were not ironed out in my mind. I think what most appealed to me was that we had no connection to anyone and therefore no responsibilities. We were isolated in an immense wood and lived only for each other. Very selfish, I may add,” she said with a smile.
“Well, then, I don’t think I would want to leave you alone in a cottage in a vast forest while I worked. I would be afraid for you. I’d hardly stir from the cottage and we would be forced to eat acorns and nuts and whatever vegetables we could grow here—and make love all day. An endless honeymoon.”
“That would be idyllic,” said Celia. “I wouldn’t mind that at all, for to be with you every minute of the day would be the essence of joy.”
They recalled their time in London and how they had feared deep in their hearts that it would never happen again.
“We’ll go to Italy for our honeymoon,” Robert said, “and not come back for weeks. I wish we could go to Paris and visit those artist places you yearn so much to see, my darling, but Paris is still too unsettled for travel. At another time we will do the Paris trip. For now we will travel to other places in Europe that I’ve seen and that I’m anxious for you to see. That will be our vast forest, Celia, where we will be alone among strangers.”
He yearned to take her away from all the people that were constantly needing her and taking up all her time. Deep in his heart, perhaps because of the endless months of uncertainty and waiting, he still felt that something could go wrong. That such happiness could slip from his grasp.
“Let’s have a picnic in the wood today,” said Celia, cutting through his gloomy thoughts, “with Bella and Liddell. Do you think Ellen might be well enough to join us?”
“We’ll ask her,” Robert replied with a sigh. “But must we leave the cottage now? You haven’t even started on your tea.”
“I didn’t mean right at this moment,” Celia said with a laugh. “I would not dream of running off before drinking my tea again.”