Following the revelation, Sebastian had walked out of the room and stormed into the kitchen to confront his mother. Initially she had been shocked… speechless… a first in Sebastian’s memory. Then it had all poured out, how she had come from the slums of Liverpool and ended up singing in pubs before going on the stage. There she had met a musician, Richie Bennett, and married him. They had left England for America, only for him to walk out on her after an unholy row. She had been destitute until Mrs Waters had discovered her singing outside a theatre in New York and taken a shine to her. They had returned to Liverpool where the Waters had been living at the time. She and Thomas had fallen for each other; the trouble was that she was still married and he had a wife and child. At that point, Sebastian could stand no more and left the kitchen. The two people whom he had respected and believed to be utterly trustworthy and moral were nothing of the kind.
The only thing he could think about was getting away, so he had gone to his room and packed his bags. He needed time to think and was in no mood to face anyone.
His father had found him there and had hurried into speech, saying he understood how shocked he must feel but he had only told him the truth because he was worried about his health and wanted to make sure that Victoria and the business would be taken care of if anything was to happen to him. He suggested that if he felt he had to get away, then why not visit Egypt and India and see how the cotton business was doing there? He would give him a draft on his bank and, perhaps, whilst in the great subcontinent he could look for a bride amongst the British middle class. Thomas Waters wanted grandchildren and as his only legitimate daughter seemed unlikely to provide him with a grandson, then his son must do that for him.
Seb’s fists clenched in his pockets and he ground his teeth. His father had obviously thought he should be grateful for his admitting his paternity. The way he saw it his bastard son had a job for life and would never be in want. But Sebastian had learnt plenty about the cotton business in the last few years and knew that was no certainty. The British had exported spinning and sewing machines to India to benefit from the cheap labour and cotton there. The idea was for the natives to produce goods at the lower end of the market but, by doing that, they were taking away more and more work from the Lancashire mills, who for years had manufactured those kind of goods for export.
Seb had never worked for anyone but his father. There had been a time when he could have changed jobs. Alice had suggested his leaving the Waters’ household a few years back to find a job as a motor mechanic, but loyalty and gratitude to the employer who had kept him on, even when he had sacked other men because the business was in trouble, had caused him to dismiss the idea. Now Seb knew why his father had kept him on but what had he gained in the past by being loyal? He had never been paid what he was worth. He had been cheap labour. He should have listened to Alice.
Alice! He remembered the feel of her body against his and ached with the memory. They had been passionate about each other but far too young to cope with trouble when it came. Both idealistic and expecting too much of the other. She had shown real courage the first time he set eyes on her and that had made it difficult for him to grasp just how great her terror of her father was. Whilst she seemed unable to understand his unspoken fear of being homeless with a wife to support and struggling to find work in a trade he knew little about. He had wanted her to wait but she had rejected his words of explanation and love. So when he had seen her here in Liverpool on his return from America he had wanted to hurt Alice as much as she had hurt him, which showed what a selfish bastard he was. If you loved someone you didn’t set out to hurt them. No wonder she did not trust him enough to tell him what had happened with Bert.
He sighed and decided he needed more time to think before buying the ticket that would to take him to the other side of the world. He turned on his heel and left the waterfront. There was more than one ship sailing for India, via Egypt that week. A few more days would make little difference.
* * *
Alice gazed up at the Arcadia Hotel with its net shrouded windows and shiny black door and, taking a deep breath, went up the steps and opened the vestibule door. A woman stood behind a reception desk, writing in a ledger. Without looking up she said, ‘I’ll be with you in a tick.’
Suddenly Alice was in two minds as to whether she was doing the right thing. What if Seb wasn’t here or didn’t want to see her? Panic rose inside, threatening to choke her. She couldn’t do this. What would this woman think of her coming in here alone and asking for one of her male guests?
She was just about to leave when the receptionist said, ‘Can I help you, madam?’
Madam, indeed? That gave Alice an idea and, glad she was wearing gloves, she went over to the desk. ‘I’m looking for my husband, Mr Bennett – Mr Sebastian Bennett,’ she said boldly.
The woman stared over her pince-nez and seemed to approve of Alice’s neatly dressed figure in the dark green skirt and jacket, cream blouse and straw hat with artificial daisies tucked into its brim. Her expression softened. ‘Mr Bennett is out at the moment but he said he would be back for supper. He made no mention of expecting you, Mrs Bennett.’
Alice felt that panic again but forcefully suppressed it. ‘I wasn’t sure I could get away. The children, you see. One of the maids had to visit her sick mother and was of a mind she would be absent longer but her mother’s health has improved and… so here I am.’ She fixed a brilliant smile on her face. ‘A nice surprise for my husband. Perhaps I could go up to his room.’
The receptionist looked slightly embarrassed. ‘Forgive me, Mrs Bennett, but unless your husband vouches for you it would be wrong of me to allow that. Perhaps… if you don’t mind waiting in the lounge until he returns.’
Alice blushed and gripped the Gladstone bag tightly, her hands shaking. ‘Certainly. I understand. Thank you.’
She was shown into a vacant room overlooking Mount Pleasant and sat in an easy chair near the window, where she would get a good view of anyone entering the hotel. She prayed that Seb would come soon and crossed her fingers for good measure.
A quarter of an hour later she saw him approaching the steps. He did not look the least like a man happy to be setting out to far distant lands on what some would see as an experience of a lifetime. Taking a deep breath, she rose from the chair and went to meet him.
Amazement and then pleasure glimmered in his brown eyes. He reached out both hands and gripped hers. ‘Alice, what are you doing here?’
Relieved that he appeared to be glad to see her, she rushed into speech. ‘I couldn’t let you go without explaining about Bert and saying how much I’m going to miss you.’ There was a hint of breathlessness in her voice.
He closed his eyes briefly and then drew her into his arms and hugged her so tightly she thought her ribs were going to crack. ‘Thank God! It’s time we were honest with each other.’
‘Where can we talk?’ gasped Alice.
He murmured against her ear, ‘I’d suggest my room but women are out of bounds.’
‘I told the receptionist I was your wife,’ she said with a throaty chuckle.
‘I’ve missed that sound.’ The expression in his eyes made her feel hot all over. ‘Tell me honestly… is that what you want to be?’ he demanded.
‘I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t still… still care about you,’ she whispered as someone passed them and went into the hotel.
He kissed her ear and breathed into it, ‘What about Bert?’
‘I never loved him like I – I love you.’
Seb freed a heartfelt sigh. ‘Then that’s all that matters.’
‘No!’ Her mouth fixed determinedly. ‘You need to know it all but it can wait.’ As long as Seb loved her and they could be together, that was all she cared about. ‘What do we do now?’ she asked.
‘We eat, talk and then go upstairs and talk some more.’ He bent his head and kissed her and then taking her hand, led her into the hotel.
‘
By the way,’ she whispered. ‘We have two children. They’re the reason I arrived here late.’
He grinned. ‘You always did have a vivid imagination.’
Alice agreed that was true but, telling him the truth about Bert, did not come so easy. She stumbled over words and often fell silent for several minutes but Seb was patient with her. When she reached the part where Bert had beaten her up, he reached across the table and gripped her hand tightly. ‘When I get my hands on him…’ he growled.
Alice shushed him. ‘People are watching,’ she whispered.
‘Sorry. Carry on.’ She did so and told her story up to the part where she had gone in search of Seb at the Waters’ and found Miss Victoria. ‘That was the only sensible thing I did in all of this. I was a fool.’
‘No! You were young and frightened and I was too wrapped up in my work. I should never have taken your no for an answer. It should have been me saving you from your dad, not him.’
She shook her head. ‘I was a selfish and jealous little madam. I didn’t want to share you with anyone, especially your mother and Miss Victoria.’
He shrugged. ‘Let’s agree we were as bad as each other and put all this behind us.’
Alice reached for the glass of water on the table and gulped half down. ‘I haven’t finished yet, love. I don’t know if you heard before you came here that Emma was attacked near the footbridge.’
‘No!’
‘Your mam knew.’
He was silent, his expression bleak, and when he finally spoke his voice was strained. ‘I’ve seen little of Ma recently and when I did see her this morning we weren’t exactly on friendly terms.’
Alice reached out and touched his hand. ‘I know she’s upset because of your going to India but I didn’t get the impression she was angry with you. The person she seemed to have it in for most was Mrs Black.’ Seb’s forehead corrugated in a frown. Alice waited for him to make some comment but when he didn’t, she added hesitantly, ‘I know she’s always had it in for that woman… a bit like me… but for the life of me I can’t think what she has to do with your going to India.’
‘I’m not certain I am going to India yet… and I’ve only the vaguest idea of where Mrs Black might fit in all this. But the reason Ma’s upset and I’m angry with her is something I’ll tell you upstairs later.’ And on those words he picked up his spoon and dug it into his syrup sponge pudding.
Alice opened her mouth to protest but then decided if Seb thought his explanation needed to be said in private then she had to go along with it.
Later when they went upstairs Seb drew Alice into his arms and kissed her. It was a long and deep kiss and when their lips parted she would still have clung to him but he put her away from him. ‘Let me get what I have to say out of the way first.’
‘Is it bad?’ she asked anxiously, perching on the side of the bed.
Sebastian drew the damask cotton curtains across the multi-paned window that almost reached from ceiling to floor and then sat on a chair several feet away from her. He took a deep breath. ‘Mr Waters told me this morning that he’s my father.’ Alice hadn’t known what to expect but it certainly was not this. She was dumbstruck. ‘Did you hear me, Alice?’ he asked anxiously.
She nodded and stared at him wide-eyed. ‘I don’t know what to say.’
His face darkened and his hands clenched the arms of the chair. ‘I felt like I’d been hit by a ton of bricks and he rambled on about my future but I was only half taking in what he said. As soon as I could, I got out of there. I had to speak to Ma. For years she’s played the part of a good Catholic woman and preached propriety but, suddenly, I’m discovering that she was never divorced from her first husband and has been to bed with Mr Waters and I’m his bastard! In a peculiar way I wouldn’t have felt so bad if he’d forced himself upon her and that had been the end of it… but no, apparently they’ve been lovers for years.’
‘What did she say?’
His eyes smouldered. ‘Not a thing at first. I’ve never known Ma lost for words.’
‘I remember her saying something about Juliana possibly having had designs on him and I pooh-poohed it, saying nobody would want him when they could have you. She was furious but I never realised this was why.’
‘Ma’s suspicious of everyone that threatened her comfortable life. She said that he was mad for her… that she’s a passionate woman. Then she went on about him being the only man she really loved. She accepted that, even after his wife’s death, they couldn’t marry. She miscarried two babies and I never knew about it! I lost my temper after that and said that she was a hypocrite and no better than a common whore.’
That last word caused Alice to wince. ‘What did she say to that?’
‘Slapped my face and told me she wished I’d never been born. That if the ship sank on the way to India she would praise God for it,’ he said grimly.
Alice shuddered. ‘She can’t mean it. She thinks the world of you.’
His frown deepened. ‘I’m not so sure. The times I asked about my father and she lied to me. I feel a bloody fool for never realising the truth.’
‘So what are you going to do? Did you ask Mr Waters why he decided to tell you the truth?’
‘He’s worried about his health, the business, Miss Victoria… said that much stuff I can’t remember it all. One thing I do remember is that he said I have a job for life and will make a good living.’
‘What did you say to that?’
He shrugged. ‘I know one thing and that’s that I’m regretting I didn’t do what you suggested years ago and leave.’
She got up and went and knelt in front of him, placing her head on his knee. ‘It’s never too late. I love that house but I’m with you if you want to leave and try something else.’
He stroked her hair. ‘Don’t think I’m not tempted. The trouble is that I do feel responsible for Miss Victoria.’
Alice looked up at him. ‘D’you think he’ll tell her the truth?’
‘He said that after his death will be soon enough for her to know.’
‘Poor Miss Victoria. It’ll come as much of a shock to her as it has to you.’
‘I know. That’s why I must give myself some time to calm down and think things through.’
‘Mmm. So what’ll you do about India?’
Sebastian gazed down into her upturned face and his eyes softened as he stroked her cheek. ‘Perhaps I’ll go after all.’ Alice’s lips formed a silent O and her green eyes filled with dismay. Then he added, ‘But not alone, Alice. Imagine all those moonlit nights on deck. Marry me!’
A great rush of love and delight filled her. ‘Yes, please!’ He pulled her onto his lap and they kissed.
As soon as Alice could breathe again she said, ‘When can we get married and how?’
‘Special licence. I’m sure we can find a priest or a minister – I don’t care which… to marry us. We’ll do what you wanted us to do a few years back, not worry about what other people think, get married and go off into the blue.’
She laughed. ‘But what about my ticket? And won’t I need a passport?’
‘As my wife you’ll go on mine. You’ll need a photograph and your birth certificate.’
Alice groaned. ‘I haven’t got one. After Mam died and we left the house everything was left behind. I bet the new tenants got rid of it.’
Seb thought swiftly. ‘You can probably get a copy from Chester registry office. Most likely you’ll have to pay for it but I’ll give you the money.’
Her expression was dubious. ‘This is going to cost a lot of money, Seb. Can you afford it? Have you savings?’
He said dryly, ‘Not worth mentioning. Mr Waters, my father, never paid me over the odds. In fact, considering I’m his son, he’s treated me pretty shabbily.’ Suddenly he grinned. ‘But I’ve just remembered he gave me a draft on his bank, which means I can draw out whatever money I need.’
Her eyes twinkled. ‘I’m sure he didn’t mean you to use it to
get married and take your wife to India with you… but as you said before, you’re his son and so surely entitled to some of his money. And it’s not as if you’re going to tell him we’re married until it’s too late for him to do anything about it. Are you?’
‘Too right I’m not,’ said Sebastian, his eyes glinting. Suddenly Alice remembered Victoria knew that she had come here and groaned. ‘What is it?’ he asked. She told him and he scowled. ‘Damn! She’s bound to mention it to him.’
Alice pursed her lips. ‘She’s annoyed with him because she thinks it should be her running the business and going to India. She just might keep quiet about it.’
Seb’s expression relaxed. ‘We’ll write to her after the deed’s done. But you do realise, Alice, we can’t invite Kenny and Hanny or even have Tilly for a flower girl?’
Alice sighed. ‘It would be lovely to have them there but we have so little time and we don’t want it to leak out and for Mr Waters to put a stop on that banker’s draft. I want us to be husband and wife… and the sooner the better. I’ll write to Kenny and Hanny and pray they’ll understand why we’re doing it this way.’ Suddenly she remembered that Emma wanted to meet with Hannah and told herself that she must mention that in the letter, too. That decided she placed her arms around Seb’s neck. ‘Now the decision’s made and we’ve told each other our secrets… what are we going to do for the rest of the evening?’
A Dream to Share Page 14