“How?” Esteban croaked. He ran agitated fingers through his hair. He needed to understand how this could happen when they’d been looking forward to hearing their child’s heartbeat in less than a week.
“She lost the baby about ten days ago.”
“No.” He shook his head. The doctor had to be mistaken. “She took a pregnancy test a few days ago. It was positive.”
The doctor tented his fingertips together. “A home pregnancy test depends on a hormone called hCG being present in the urine. After a miscarriage, the hormone doesn’t disappear completely. It can remain in the body for days, or even weeks.”
He spoke softly and with compassion, but the words still grated like sandpaper on raw skin, and they angered Esteban. None of this made any sense.
“We have an appointment for next week. We were going to hear our child’s heartbeat,” he said, as if that made a difference.
“I understand, Mr.—”
“No, you do not understand.” Esteban spoke in a firm but shaky voice. “You have made a mistake. Do more tests. Do different tests.”
Dr. Morgan’s face transformed into a sympathetic mask. “There are no more tests to be done, Mr. Galiano,” he said quietly.
Before Esteban could rage against him, the doctor glanced at Sonia’s curled-up figure on the bed. Without saying a word, he reminded Esteban there was someone else in the room in just as much pain as he was. He was disoriented and discombobulated. Dizzy with sorrow. But he couldn’t imagine how much Sonia must be hurting, and here he was—arguing and thinking about himself instead of comforting her.
He needed to be strong, even though being strong was the last thing he felt like being right now. He felt weak. Helpless. Impotent. He couldn’t save his unborn child, and he didn’t know how to comfort Sonia.
“I’d like her to stay overnight so we can keep an eye on her,” the doctor said. “I want to ensure all the fetal tissue has expelled from her body and make sure there’s no chance of infection. She also lost quite a bit of blood. I’m sure she’ll be okay, but I want to take this extra precaution.”
Esteban nodded in agreement.
“I’ll leave the two of you alone.” Dr. Morgan walked quietly to the door. Seconds later, Esteban heard it close behind him.
“Sonia?”
She didn’t respond. She faced the window, and he couldn’t see her expression.
Esteban walked around the foot of the bed to the other side. Sonia was staring out the window, clutching a wad of tissue as fresh tears left a wet trail over the bridge of her nose.
Her silent grief gutted him. Sinking onto the mattress, he reached for her hand, but she tightened her body and shrank away. In response to her rejection, his fingers curled into a ball on the sheets. He wasn’t upset. He knew she was hurting. He was hurting.
“I don’t know what to say,” he whispered.
Trite platitudes that promised everything would be okay were the last thing he wanted to hear, so he knew she didn’t want to hear them either.
Sonia sniffled and held tight to the tissue in her hand.
“The doctor wants you to stay overnight.”
She continued to stare out the window, as if he wasn’t talking. As if he wasn’t there.
“I know you don’t feel like talking right now, but when you’re ready, I’m here. We can talk whenever you want.”
Still nothing. Only an empty gaze.
Esteban remained in the same position for a few minutes, contemplating what he should do or what he should say. He’d never felt so helpless in his life.
“Go.” She spoke in a soft voice.
“No.” He couldn’t leave. Not now. Not when she needed him.
She swallowed, and a fresh tear leaked from the corner of her eye and bled over her nose onto the pillow. “Please.”
Her hoarse plea tore him apart. Not wanting to leave but wanting to give her the space she needed, Esteban chose to put distance between them.
He returned to the chair he’d left when the doctor came in. Taking a seat, he watched her back. He sat there for a long time, without thinking, numb. Shadows overtook the room when the sun gave way to evening.
A nurse came in to check on Sonia, and Esteban awoke from his comatose state and shifted position. Sonia still hadn’t moved. She remained curled up on her side, like someone afraid to move because movement brought too much pain.
The nurse ran through a series of checks, gave Sonia pain medicine, and spoke quietly to her for a few seconds.
On her way out the door, the nurse paused and looked at him with compassionate eyes. “Can I get you anything, Mr. Galiano?”
“I’m fine, thank you.”
She left, and he shut down again. Became numb and empty inside.
Night fell, casting the room in dark shadows.
A different nurse came in, checked on Sonia, and cast a pitying look at him as she walked through the door.
How much time had passed? He wasn’t sure and couldn’t keep track.
This time, he didn’t fall back into a numbed state. This time, he remained conscious, and his thoughts tormented him. That was when the pain started. The pain he’d been avoiding by shutting down. Disappointment and loss filled his chest and bulldozed their way into his gut and neck and brain.
His head dropped forward under the weight of the crushing emotions. Their child was gone, and there was not a single thing his wealth and power could have done to save their baby.
A line of tears scrolled down his left cheek, and Esteban scrubbed it away with a rough hand. Easing from the chair, he straightened and stretched his body, stiff and aching from having sat in the same position for hours.
Then he heard the whimpers. Grief had fought its way through their barriers at the same time. Sonia was crying.
Without hesitation, Esteban rushed to her side and climbed into the bed behind her.
“Shh,” he whispered, gathering her close. “Todo estara bien, querida.”
He kissed the back of her neck and held her tight as sobs racked her body.
“Todo estara bien, mi amor.”
He didn’t know if she heard him or understood the words he said, but right now, no matter how trite the promise that everything would be okay, it was the only way he knew to ease her pain and bring her a little bit of comfort.
Chapter 39
It was time to go. Her frazzled nerves wouldn’t last much longer in this tension-filled house.
Sonia zipped the suitcase shut and moved it from the bed to the floor. She hadn’t been at Esteban’s very long. The boxes and containers in the dressing room remained unopened because she hadn’t yet instructed a member of the staff to unpack her clothes and other personal effects.
Casting an eye around the bedroom, she knew with certainty this would be the last time she’d ever see this place. She’d come back because she couldn’t bear the thought of life without Esteban, and willingly accepted his definition of a relationship so she could have a fragment of the kind she craved.
But being a kept woman wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. She loved Esteban and wanted to be his wife, and every word Jackie said at brunch was true. Sonia was settling, and five years from now she didn’t want to mumble that she’d settled for her life. She wanted to scream out loud that she’d chosen it.
Sonia turned when she heard Esteban in the doorway. His powerful body was clothed in a charcoal-gray shirt and dark jeans, and his brow remained in what seemed to be a perpetually furrowed state.
His somber gaze flicked over the suitcase and matching bag beside it on the floor. “You’re leaving.”
“I told you I would.”
She couldn’t stay. Everything had changed. The energy and excitement of the coming child had been extinguished with abrupt finality. The contractors and interior design team had been canceled. Delores, who had three children of her own and from time to time had offered words of advice, hadn’t said much except to ask what they wanted for dinner.
A hard swallow traveled the length of Esteban’s throat. “I thought I could talk you out of it.”
“You can’t. We’re past the expiration date on our affair, and after what happened…” Grief tightened her throat, but she fought through. “After what happened, I have to go. It’s too much now.”
Since leaving the hospital, Esteban and Sonia had barely spoken. Neither knew what to say. They slept in the same bed but never touched. The invisible chasm between them was as deep and wide as the Grand Canyon.
Silence filled the room. Neither of them looked at each other.
“I feel like I could have done more,” Esteban said.
“There’s nothing either of us could have done.”
Dr. Morgan had been very explicit, giving her statistics on how many pregnancies ended in miscarriage and explaining there was nothing she could have done to prevent it. His words didn’t make the cross of losing her baby any easier to bear, and nothing he said assuaged the guilt of acknowledging her baby had died, and she hadn’t even known. She felt extra empty inside, even though she’d never once felt the flutter of life inside her womb.
“There’s nothing more for you to do. You’re off the hook,” Sonia said.
Esteban’s brows snapped together. “How could you say that? Do you think I’m some kind of unfeeling brute who doesn’t care about the loss of his own child?”
“No. I didn’t mean…” Sonia took a shaky breath. “My words came out wrong. I know you cared about the baby. I meant that you don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine.” She pulled up the retractable handle on her suitcase and slung the bag over her shoulder. “I’ll get the rest of my things later.” She walked to the door, but he didn’t move.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“I’m checking into a hotel for a few days.” She’d given up her townhouse. Jackie had suggested she come stay with her, but Sonia wanted to be alone for a while. She had a lot of planning to do and considered moving back to Georgia. Per capita, Atlanta had more restaurants than most cities in the country, and with her sommelier certification, she could probably find a job there. If not there, she could start over fresh somewhere else. She only knew she needed to leave Miami and its memories of Esteban behind. New York. Texas. The options were limitless.
“Why waste money on a hotel when you could stay here?” Esteban asked.
“I’m not going to stay here.”
He ran an unsteady hand through his hair. “There’s plenty of room. Make use of the house, save your money—”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because, goddammit, money isn’t everything, okay?” His eyes widened at the outburst, but she couldn’t stop now that she’d let out a portion of her frustration. “You want to know the truth? I don’t need to save. I’ve hardly put a dent in the allowance you gave me every month, and my uncle left me a small fortune.”
His startled gaze studied her. “You never mentioned your uncle left you money. He can’t have left you much.”
“Two million dollars.”
He blinked.
“That’s right. Two. Million. So you see, I don’t need you or your money. I have my own and will be set for a very long time to come. We had an agreement, and we both filled our roles. We didn’t have anything special. You made that very clear.” She laughed bitterly. “You pay. I obey. Anyone could have been a mistress to you. You never needed me, Esteban.” Her fingers tightened on the handle of her suitcase, and she stared at the middle of his chest, waiting for him to move.
He finally stepped aside without a word, and Sonia rushed out the door and down the hall. She saw Delores on her way up a side staircase with a basket of linens in her hands, but the housekeeper paused when she saw Sonia. Sadness filled her eyes. Sonia managed to give her a small, grateful smile, and the housekeeper smiled back before continuing the climb up the stairs.
Sonia was almost to the door when she heard Esteban’s voice.
“If you have money, why did you come back?”
She stopped.
“You didn’t need me,” he said.
“Because I…I thought I could get more. Did you forget? I wanted the Phantom and the Hermès bag.”
A slight pause. “That’s not why.”
The sun came through the decorative glass on either side of the door. Freedom was within reach.
“I came back because of the baby,” Sonia whispered.
“I don’t believe you. Stay, Sonia.”
She dropped the bags and swung around. Why was he doing this? Why couldn’t he stop being so selfish and let her go? “Stop it! Stop trying to hold on to me!”
He charged toward her, his pupils flaring with passionate light. “What else am I supposed to do?” he demanded. He cupped her face in his hands and stared down into eyes. “What else is a man supposed to do when the woman he loves is about to leave him, and he’s desperate to hold on to her but cannot think of a single way to do that? Tell me what to do, Sonia. Tell me how to hold on to you. Because I cannot let you go.”
Sonia blinked and stared up at him in shock. “Wh-what did you say?”
“I can’t let you go.”
“The part before that. Three sentences before.”
His expression softened, raw emotion on his face as plain as day for her to see. “I love you, querida.”
“When? How? You never said a word before.”
His face filled with regret. “As soon as I realized my feelings for you, I should have.”
“When did you realize you felt this way?” She couldn’t believe the words he was saying. Her heart had never beat so fast before in her life.
“For a long time. When things were smooth between us, I was all right and didn’t have to face my feelings. Then a couple of months ago you started slipping away from me…” His voice thickened, and his right hand clenched into a fist. “Slowly, I saw our relationship falling apart, but I didn’t know how to fix it. When I came home and you weren’t here, I had no choice but to accept that I was in love you, and I was willing to do anything to bring you back home. Anything to get you to stay.”
Sonia bit the corner of her lip. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear you say those words. I love you, too. God, I love you so much.”
They moved at the same time and their mouths meshed together in a hungry, passionate kiss. As Sonia clung to him, Esteban lifted her from the floor and walked slowly to the living room, nipping at her lips, sucking on her tongue.
He lowered onto the sofa and Sonia sighed, brushing her fingers through the thick softness of his hair. “Do you mean it? Please tell me you mean it.” Gazing into his dark brown eyes, she held her breath, worried this was all a dream but hoping it wasn’t.
“I mean every word. I love you.” He kissed her hard. Then soft. Then hard again, and she drowned in the pleasure of his lips. “I should have told you right away, but our damn arrangement complicated everything. I assumed you were here because of the money and gifts.”
Sonia traced a finger over the curve of his full bottom lip. “And I assumed you wanted me in your bed and as arm candy. Goodness, we made a mess of everything.” She laughed a little and rested her head on his shoulder. Pure, undiluted joy filled her soul. “I’m definitely not dreaming, right?”
“This is no dream.”
For a few minutes, Esteban rubbed her back, and she remained quiet and peaceful on his lap, content in a way she never imagined she would be. To think, she’d been ready to walk out the door and leave him behind—no matter how much it pained her—because she didn’t think her feelings were reciprocated.
Esteban shifted on the chair and stuck his hands into his pants pocket. The next thing she knew, a small black box appeared in her line of vision.
Sonia’s head popped up from his shoulder and she gasped. “Esteban…”
“When you came home with me that night from the yacht, I knew I couldn’t let you go again. You make me whole. I was only half alive w
ithout you.” He opened the box and revealed a brilliant Asscher-cut diamond with smaller diamonds set in the platinum band. His thumb gently brushed her cheek, and he gazed into her eyes with that intense look that had snared her from the very beginning. “Te amo. Eres mi sol. Eres mi luna.”
I love you. You’re my sun. You’re my moon.
“Will you marry me, Sonia?”
“Oh, Esteban,” Sonia whispered. She kissed him, pressing her body as close as she could get.
Esteban eased back, and a slow smile hovered around his lips. “I take it that’s a yes?”
“Yes!” Sonia giggled and extended her hand so he could put the ring on her finger, and he slipped it on with ease. “Perfect.”
Esteban rubbed his thumb across her fingers and frowned as he looked down at the glowing band on her hand. “I should have done a grander, more creative proposal.”
“No, this was just right. Trust me, creative proposals aren’t always the best idea.” At his puzzled look, Sonia laughed.
Another time she’d tell him Jackie’s humorous proposal story. For now, she wanted to bask in the perfection of this moment with her fiancé, the man she’d fallen madly in love with and who, as it turned out, loved her in return.
Sonia wrapped her arms around Esteban’s neck and planted another kiss on his delicious mouth.
Nothing else mattered right now. Not the mistakes of their past loves, the missteps they made in their own liaison, or the pain of their shared loss.
All that mattered was that they loved each other.
Epilogue
Their sixteen-month-old was a little terror.
Deanna ran through the bedroom suite of their house in Argentina, laughing her little head off as Sonia tried to catch her. Which, at six months pregnant and in heels, was not an easy task. The little thief had snatched Sonia’s diamond bracelet from the bed where she’d temporarily set it as she waited for Esteban to come in and fasten it around her wrist.
“Give Mommy the bracelet, Deanna.”
“No!” She thought it was a game, and took off toward the sitting area, an energetic ball of wild, curly hair and chubby legs that were surprisingly fast.
More Than a Mistress (Latin Men Book 5) Page 24