His Heart's Desire

by Kristi Ahlers

  She quickly repeated the process by sketching Meagan and Alec. Once this was done, she realized she was breathing just a tad easier. Pulling Braden’s picture out, she stared at him. “Why doesn’t anyone remember you? Or Meagan, for that matter?”

  There was no answer and she didn’t expect one. She went up to her room and tacked the sketch on the wall beside her bed. She sat and stared at her rendering of Braden, and then it came to her. Maybe the answers she sought were in Scotland. No one knew him here and Cat was beginning to worry that she might just lose her mind. Grief was slowly killing her and she felt if she didn’t do something soon, she’d lose it all together.

  Picking up the phone, she called the airline and booked a flight that would depart in two days’ time. She then booked the same hotel she’d used the last time and reserved a rental car. Now all she had to do was pack and pray. If she had to travel halfway around the world to find her heart, that is exactly what she’d do.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  Cat spent the entire flight from New Orleans to Scotland with a glimmer of hope burning in her heart. The last time she’d arrived in this country, she’d found her heart’s desire. Perhaps this was a foolhardy trip, as Summer seemed to think, but with the turmoil her life was currently in, it would be the height of stupidity not to take the chance.

  This time the weather was unfriendly. The skies were not crystalline blue, but a dull grey with heavy clouds promising more snow. Winter in the Highlands was not for the faint of heart. She picked up her rental car and drove from Inverness to Tain, stopping at the same hotel she’d stayed in before.

  Needing something to eat, she ran to a little diner on the corner. The restaurant was not terribly busy and she was shown to a table without much waiting. She perused the menu and finally settled on a filling chicken stroganoff and potatoes. Comfort food at its best.

  While she waited for her dinner to arrive, she looked around the small thatched roof room. She didn’t remember this restaurant the last time she’d been here. The old thatch and wattle building was not something recently built. Was it possible that things were going to be different because, as Natalia said before, Morgana had changed history? How much would be affected by Braden living his life to its fullest in his time period as opposed to living it in the fade?

  “Excuse me.” She stopped a passing waitress. “Could you tell me how far back this establishment dates?”

  The waitress smiled. “There has been a hostel here since around the early thirteen hundreds. It’s part of the Ross lands. Back in 1295, Laird Braden Ross built this place along with his cousin, Alec Ross, for Alec’s love, Meagan. She’d traveled a long way and had strange notions about supporting herself. The inn was the way she provided extra income for the family while retaining her independence. She was a right modern thinking lass for the time.” The waitress moved on to help another customer, unaware that she’d left Cat completely stunned.

  When her dinner arrived, she went through the motions of eating. Although she was sure the food was delicious, she tasted nothing. She paid her tab and stepped outside.

  The icy cold stole her breath and she stuffed her glove-clad hands into the deep pockets of her down coat. She looked around the charming little village, noting the Christmas decorations that graced the high street. Big fat, fluffy flakes of snow began to drift from the inky sky. The sight was postcard perfect and would normally have left her charmed, but not now. The magic of the holidays was extinguished for her.

  Even though Cat was tired, she knew it wasn’t a good idea to seek her bed quite yet. The best way to fight the jetlag was to stay up as long as she could. She forced herself to walk up the street pretending interest in the various shop fronts which were all decorated for the holidays.

  Many of the stores were open late to allow those who had to work during the day to get a little shopping done. Funny, she’d been looking forward to shopping for Alec and Braden this Christmas.

  She walked up to a bookstore and decided to pick up something to help keep her amused. When she opened the door, a bell above her rang. The scent of cinnamon, hot chocolate and ink welcomed her like an old friend. She’d always loved to wander bookstores.

  A woman came around the antique counter with a smile. “Good eve. Is there anything I can help you find?”

  “Ah. Actually, yes. Do you by any chance have a book on the history of Clan Ross?” She had a feeling this would be a fruitless request but at this point she’d grasp at anything if would help keep her afloat.

  “Actually we do, but ‘tis costly. It’s an antique book recently sold to us from the Estate.”

  Cat’s heart picked up its pace. “Can I look at it?”

  “Aye, but you need to use special gloves since the parchment is so very old.”

  Cat followed the little woman to the back of the store, where she was handed a pair of gloves.

  “This is the family history dating back to the thirteenth century.”

  Cat reverently touched the book. The dark brown leather volume called to her. “How much are you selling this for?” She didn’t take her eyes off the pages. Although she didn’t speak or read Latin, she didn’t care. The further back she paged, the words turned from Latin, to French; a language she could understand.

  “Oh, I don’t know, miss. ‘Tis quite dear.”

  “Please. I must know.”

  The woman wrote a figure on a pad and pushed it across the table. Cat stared at the number and realized that although this would take a chunk of her savings, she couldn’t say no to this treasure. “I’ll take it.” She knew that this book held her salvation and maybe, just maybe, it could help her right what had gone wrong.

  “Very good.” The woman painstakingly wrapped the book and then ran the credit card. Cat walked out of the bookshop several hundred dollars poorer, but with a very precious journal.

  No longer able to avoid admitting how tired she was, Cat let herself into the hotel room and packed her book into her suitcase. She then took a shower and climbed into bed and stared at the ceiling. She hadn’t slept well because her dreams were so empty. She hadn’t even had visions of sugarplum fairies dancing in her head.

  Tomorrow she’d brave the slick roads and drive up to the castle. She hoped with all her heart that Elspeth would have the answers to the many questions that plagued her.

  * * *

  Cat finally rolled over and looked at the clock. She’d been tossing and turning since going to bed, too tired to actually sleep. The time read nine o’clock and she flipped back the covers and ran to the bathroom. There was a chill in the air that stung. She wanted to be on the road in less than a half hour. Although Cat wanted answers, she vividly remembered the horrendous road that led to the castle. She hoped they either sanded or salted the narrow strip of asphalt.

  The wind whipped in from the sea and she made short work of unlocking the door and getting in behind the wheel. She turned the key and cranked the heat on to full blast, pointing the defrosters to the window.

  Stepping outside the car with an ice scraper, she went to work. “I hate the snow and ice,” she grumbled to herself.

  Ten minutes passed before she had the windows of the compact cleared enough so she’d be able to see. This time she’d rented an automatic so she didn’t have to deal with shifting gears and staying on the correct side of the road. Those were two challenges she didn’t need right now.

  The drive was worse than she’d imagined and a couple of times the car slid after hitting some slick passages.

  When she finally reached the top of the mountain, she pulled into the castle grounds. Not much had changed since her last visit almost two months earlier, except the grounds were now covered in snow. The picture was fairytale perfect except there was one thing missing, her Highland knight.

  The tires crunched over the snow and she looked around for the designated car park. There were no signs, yet she saw the castle was ablaze with lights. Having come too far to turn around now, Cat pulled up
beside a Range Rover and turned off the ignition.

  Cat didn’t know how long she stared at the stone edifice. She loved this castle; the turrets and towers were romantic but at the same time showed the strength of the fortification.

  Letting out a sigh, she grabbed her backpack and opened the car door. The sound of the sea crashing below mingled with the sighing of the wind through the pines. The cold prompted her to move forward and when she reached the heavy double doors of the keep, she felt her hands shake—but not with cold. Did she have the strength to knock on the wood and listen to the answers to the questions she had?

  “Can I help you, lass?” The question was spoken in a deep velvet burr.

  Cat spun on her heels and slipped on the ice. Strong arms saved her from falling. Brushing her hair out of her eyes, she went to answer and stopped. Braden was standing before her, only it wasn’t him. Although his smile reached his eyes, those eyes were the wrong color. They weren’t the deep chocolate brown she was used to seeing. Instead, they were a deep blue.

  “Lass. Are you okay?”

  Cat blinked and brought herself back to the present. “Umm. Yes, I’m fine. Could you . . . ah . . . please direct me to the ticket kiosk?”

  “Huh?” The man scratched his head.

  Cat noticed he had the same dark brown hair as Braden’s and just as long. Her heart beat heavily in her chest and her throat closed up with tears. She missed her Braden so much.

  “Why don’t you come inside where it’s warmer?” He turned the knob and effortlessly pushed open the huge wooden door.

  Baking bread and pine, along with wood smoke, greeted her upon entering. She stepped into a large entry hall that wasn’t there the last time. A lot wasn’t the same since her last visit.

  “Here, let me help you off with this coat.” The man helped her out of her parka and she thanked him, brushing her hands down the front of her jeans trying to overcome her nerves.

  “Hey, you’re back. We were getting ready to send out a search and rescue party.”

  The female voice startled Cat.

  “You brought back a friend?” She held out her hand. “Hello, my name’s Katherine.”

  Cat was convinced she’d stepped into a twisted version of the Twilight Zone. Any minute now she expected to hear Rod Serling. Katherine was a total ringer for her friend, Meagan, right down to the pink ends of her hair.” I found her on the doorstep,” the man commented from behind Cat.

  “She’s not an orphan, Braden.”

  “No, no, she’s not. Come on, lass, let’s get you warm and then we can try to help you.”

  Cat found herself being led through the entry hall and down a half dozen steps to what was the great hall. Only now, this was for all intents and purposes a family room.

  A huge pine tree, standing at least twelve feet tall, took up one corner. The twinkling lights and ornaments looked like something out of a Currier and Ives painting. The large hearth had at least a half dozen stockings hanging from the decorative mantel. A family had come together to celebrate the holidays and she felt horrid at intruding. She didn’t belong here. Not now, not ever.

  “Everyone, I’d like to introduce you to . . .” Braden frowned. “I’m sorry; I didn’t catch your name.”

  Cat licked her lower lip. “Catrìona. My name is Catrìona MacDougall.”

  “Ah, a fine Scottish name.” Braden guided her into the room with a hand at the small of her back. “This is Catrìona MacDougall.”

  He pointed to Katherine. “You already met my cousin-in-law, Katherine; she’s married to the lummox on the ladder who is my cousin, Ciaran.”

  Cat turned and followed Braden’s eyes to a man decorating the stairs leading to the upper floors. This time she wasn’t surprised to see an Alec lookalike waving from his high perch. She smiled when she realized he was indeed married to Katherine.

  “Nice to meet you.” Cat turned to Braden. “I can see that I’ve made a huge mistake. I didn’t mean to intrude on your family time. I’ll let myself out.”

  “Wait. You didn’t meet everyone and we haven’t solved the question of the missing ticket kiosk.” His teasing words loosened the knot that had been forming in her stomach. “Thank you, but things . . .” she looked around and sighed. “Things have changed.”

  She was in the process of making good her getaway when Elspeth came into the room. “Laird, I’ve just gotten off the phone and the things you ordered will be here in a week.”

  “Elspeth.” Cat ran over to her. “It’s me, Catrìona.”

  “I’m sorry, dear. Do I know you?”

  “Yes, don’t you remember, I came to visit this castle a few months ago? You knew who I was and you helped me with a release ceremony.”

  “I’m sorry, lassie, but I’ve never seen you before in my life.” Oh no!

  Cat looked around the room and the other three occupants had a range of emotions on their faces, from pity to confusion. “I’m the one who is sorry.”

  She turned to go but stopped. She had to ask a question that had burned in her heart. “I’ll go, but could you first answer a question for me?”

  Braden moved close. “You don’t have to leave in such a rush and we’ll answer any questions you have.”

  “Are you familiar with the story of Laird Braden Ross and his half-English fiancée, Catrìona MacDougall?”

  “Aye, it was a love match but his lady love was killed in an ambush led by a druid priestess named Morgana.” Braden smiled. “I’m named after him.”

  Cat nodded. “Did he ever find a happy ending?”

  “In a manner of speaking. Why are you so interested, lass?”

  Because I fell in love with him and for a brief moment in time knew what pure happiness really was. She didn’t speak those words aloud. Instead, she said, “She was my ancestress, but there were no records in our family from the time. I just thought I’d ask what you knew of their history.”

  She smiled. “Thank you for answering my question.” She turned to walk away. Retrieving her coat from the hall tree, she pulled it on in jerky movements. The tears she’d been fighting for the past quarter hour refused to be held back any longer. Her vision blurred and she tripped her way back to the car. Fumbling, she tried to insert the key into the lock but kept missing.

  “Here, let me help you.” Braden took the keys from her limp grasp. “Are you sure you’re okay enough to drive? The hill can be very dangerous.”

  She wiped away the evidence of her sadness and offered a pathetic smile. She knew it was pathetic because the attempt actually hurt. “Thank you, I’ll be careful, I promise.”

  Braden’s eyes clung to hers, analyzing her answer. “I want to give you something.” He handed her a tissue-wrapped box. This is something I think you should have. It belonged to your relative. It’s the ring The Ross gifted her with upon the signing of the marriage contract.” Cat shook her head. “No, I can’t take that; it belongs to your family.” She backed away from him. This was just too much for her to handle.

  He took her arm and placed the small item in her hand before closing her fingers over the box. “I want you to have it. Their love was magic, lass, and each and every single one of my kinsmen have searched for just such a union. It was rare and never forgotten.” He bent and placed a chaste kiss upon her upturned mouth. “I hope you find your heart’s desire.”

  Cat pulled the box close to her heart. “Thank you. I wish you the same. Have a Happy Christmas.”

  “You too, lass.”

  Cat got behind the wheel and Braden closed the door. He stood with hands stuffed in the front pockets of his jeans as she pulled away. She felt his gaze until she crested the hill and the castle fell from sight.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  The drive back to Tain was slow going, the road conditions had deteriorated dramatically, the sun never managing to break through the cloud cover.

  A sense of despair took hold of Cat. Her last hope of finding a way to fix things was gone. History had been rew
ritten when Morgana performed her vengeful spell.

  Parking her little rental, Cat gathered her bag and gift from Braden, then made her way to her room. Too restless to sit, she put the box alongside the book in her suitcase and locked her door.

  She wandered the cobblestone streets with no set direction in mind. Her eyes saw nothing as she tried to come to terms with the way her life had turned out.

  Turning down a side street, she dodged a young boy chasing after a small dog, intent on capturing the snowflakes as they fell from the sky. Such innocent excitement during the holidays.

  After walking for a few more blocks, she turned and went back the way she came. Time had come to say goodbye and return home to New Orleans.

  She returned to her room, wet and cold and no less heartbroken. She called the airline to change her ticket so she could fly out the next day. There was no point in staying any longer. If she could, she’d be on a plane now. Distance would not dim her pain, but she needed to be around the familiar.

  Cat set out the clothes she’d wear the next day before she finished packing the rest of her belongings. Spying the small box, she pulled it out and sat on her bed. She slowly lifted the lid and gasped. Sitting on a bed of garnet red velvet was a delicate band with a beautiful amethyst sitting in the center, surrounded by tiny diamonds.

  Carefully she lifted the ring and marveled at the craftsmanship that had been used to design it. Considering when the ring had been made, the amount of money, time and care made it all the more special and fragile. Etching on the inside of the band caught her eye. Mo chridh, My heart. Braden had called her that in his deep velvety voice. He was her heart as well and since his banishment, she’d only felt half alive. Tears fell as she slipped the band onto the ring finger of her left hand. It fit perfectly. The metal warmed around the digit and she felt embraced with peace. Honest-to-goodness peace for the first time since her world had been turned upside down.