by Jet MacLeod
It was a question that she couldn’t really answer herself. She didn’t know why she was good at it. She didn’t want to example her upbringing to decide if that is what led her to becoming an assassin for the government. She didn’t want to think about the fact that she could compartmentalize the mission from her emotions and take the shot. It was a special person that could do that. Many couldn’t, but she could. And, she could do it without remorse. Her mission personae and her “real-world” personae never met. They were two identities from their births. The assassin didn’t cross over into Del’s daily life, much, but the parts that did would have been the same for any other combat veteran or police officer.
She always looked for a way out. She kept her back to the wall and her face to a door. She was constantly checking the room and making sure that she had an escape. If there were others with her, she made sure to keep them safe or had a plan to get them out first. She only went to certain places, places that she had already checked out. It was a constant vigil but she knew it kept her alive. She didn’t want to leave anything to chance…chance meant death.
But, now, with Angie, her daily life and her assassin life were merging in a way she couldn’t stop. She wasn’t after a target. She was protecting one. Her motives were changing faster than she could stop them. She wasn’t trying to become more civilized, Angie was making her in a way that she couldn’t name, a way that she didn’t know. Yes, Angie was her retirement package, her way out of the life and into a nice lounge chair on the beach in the middle of nowhere, but she wasn’t a target. Del was used to search and destroy, not search and protect, and her brain was rebelling.
She leaned against the rail and smelled the night air. It was crisp and soft. She could smell the faint hint of hay drifting on the slight breeze. It was peaceful. It was still. It was quiet. She didn’t like it. She scanned the horizon and came up with nothing. She had an eerie feeling creeping over her. Could Angie really be her retirement?
Her mind began to wander through her past assignments. She was looking to see if she could really be on her own and not waiting for the next mission. Could she live on her own? Could she handle the real world without thinking that everyone was out to get her? She didn’t know. She wondered if that was why they gave her this assignment. She would have to live with Angie for around six months before returning her to New York. Was it a test?
She thought back to Kiev. She thought it had all been a test in the end, a cruel and unforgiving test. So much of the mission had been redacted from the “official” record that she wasn’t sure what she remembered when she woke up in Ramstein was the truth or her mind’s way of dealing with the shit she had been through. The Ukraine was a long time ago and miles away, but it never left her head.
She ran her hands up and down her arms. Her palm came to rest on the scars of the bullet holes in her right arm. It had taken six weeks for her to be able to hold her side arm again. Another six weeks to shoot it fully loaded and hit her target with all ten rounds. She cursed her time in Ramstein and then in Lakenheath still recovering. It was two years before they put her back in operation. Two fucking years of bouncing around from base to base in strategic places, waiting to see if they would use her. It was pure Hell for her mind. She didn’t care that her body wouldn’t let her fight as soon as she wanted. She didn’t need to fight. She needed a scope and a target. She was looking for the pink mist.
Maybe it was those two years that broke her psyche a little. She was still reeling over the memories of Kiev. She blamed herself for getting too close. She didn’t know that she was being played, or maybe she just didn’t want to see it. She couldn’t believe that another operative had sold her out to the mark she had fallen for, the mark she was using to get to her father, the mark that shot her after Del had completed her mission.
In Guam, they had finally cleared her. She was in the Pacific staring at the ocean when Cole came to her with orders. She was sure that he was handing her discharge papers. She stared at them for hours reading and rereading what they said. She was to report to Norfolk for some new combat gear and some training with the SEALs and some Marines before they headed into Afghanistan. She was gearing up to go. She felt like the world made sense again. And, for a while, it did. Then she got the orders from the Alphabets. They needed her to “tactfully” take care of an issue in Middle East.
That was four years ago and she hadn’t looked back. Now, she was their go-to. She got to see more of the world than she had as a sniper, but she wasn’t supposed to be a sniper. She was a pilot program and according to the Armed Forces, her unit didn’t exist. She had a chest full of medals that were awarded, but none of the commendations mentioned the truth as to where or how. She didn’t care. She was protecting the government and the land that she loved.
Time was a bitch and it had finally caught up with her. She was nearing forty-five and knew that the younger ones would be getting all the best missions. She would be used only if necessary. She was training the next generation in tactical operations that she had done for twenty plus years. She was ready to live. She was looking forward to a beach and a beer. Then Angie fell into her lap. She was chosen because she was seen as the only answer to the problem.
By why me? She asked herself every hour that she had been with Angie. It wasn’t until she was in that pasture that it made sense. Cole had hit the nail on the head. She was a lesbian. She hadn’t hid that fact during her time with the military. They had purposefully used that for their own gain. No, they knew it and they knew it well. It was why she was sent to the Ukraine to begin with. They knew that Sergei’s daughter had spent a lot of time in Berlin. She was known to frequent the “Love Parades.” And, she was their way to Sergei.
If Angie was taking on the entirety of the Southern Colombian drug lords, what purpose would Del have to protect her? Yes, she was one of the best assassins. Yes, she could spot a hide or potential hide at greater than five hundred feet. She had a better chance of keeping Angie alive than most of the agents that worked for the Alphabets. Del just couldn’t figure their angle. What was it about Angie that they wanted to control?
Del knew that she should head to bed. It was late and the walk had done nothing for her. She was happy with Cole’s protection devices and knew that they would have ample time if one were to go off in the middle of the night. He had already clued her into his escape routes and the escape tunnels that he had been digging. She knew that no one knew about those and she would use them to get out if something did happen.
She was making her way back to the house when she saw something on the back porch. She immediately drew her pistol. She was about to take aim when she saw her blond hair billowing in the breeze. Del was taken with the picture that Angie was making on the porch. She looked like an angel. She replaced her sidearm and made her way back to the porch.
“You shouldn’t be out here like that,” Del stated as she approached.
“I needed the air.”
“I understand that, but you have no protection. I could have shot you. Anyone could have shot you. Do you understand that? You are a target. There is a big fucking bull’s eye on you.”
“I know that,” Angie answered.
“Then why are you out here?”
“Because even Bull’s eyes need to breathe,” she replied.
Del stopped. She couldn’t argue with her logic. Angie had been locked up and with an agent for so long that she had forgotten what freedom really was. Del understood that. She could sympathize with her.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?’
“All of this,” Del stated.
“You didn’t do this. I did. I created my own Hell and now I have to live in it.”
“But, Angie, I …”
“Did you go after Guzman? No, you didn’t. Did you go after the cartels? Well, maybe you did, but not like I did. I didn’t back down. I refused to plead them out. I wanted to try them for everything and make it all stick. I wanted them to rot in pris
on. You didn’t push them into putting that target on me. I did that,” Angie explained.
“That may be true, but I did bring you here.”
“You are doing your job, Del. Never apologize to me for that. You are keeping me safe.”
“You shouldn’t be outside…alone.”
“Then, keep me company.”
Del swallowed. She didn’t know what to do. She hadn’t had a meaningful interaction with anyone but her men in so long that she was afraid of Angie. She, who wasn’t afraid of anything and could fight the worst evils in the world, was being frightened by her mark.
“Angie, I need to go to bed. You should, too. We have a busy schedule to keep.”
“Where are we going?” Angie asked staring off into nothing.
“Illinois?”
“The land of Lincoln, interesting.”
“Is there somewhere else you prefer?”
“Plenty of places, but I would be known there. So, I guess not. Your choices make more sense, now. Even if I was Emily, I would still need to stay away from those places, you know?”
“I understand better than you think I do.”
“I don’t doubt that.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that you like to talk in your sleep,” Angie stated.
“Meaning what?”
“I don’t know what happened, but even I know enough Russian to understand what nyet means.”
“I do not talk in my sleep.”
“Sure you don’t,” Angie said, heading back into the house.
Del stood there. Shit, she knows, was all she could think. What would Angie do when she found out what happened in Kiev? Cole only knew parts of it. Hell, she didn’t want to go back down that road. It was too painful and she didn’t want to relive it. She grabbed her arm instinctually. It was going to be a long night and Del was probably not going to get any sleep, now.
Chapter 6
Del woke in the early morning and stared out the window. There was always something peaceful about that time of day that actually calmed her warrior heart. She couldn’t name it, but she looked for it every morning. And, like clockwork, she arose at the same time every morning to greet it.
She put on a pair of form fitting jeans and t-shirt. She left her shoes and socks beside the bed. She reached over and grabbed her sidearm, placing it in the small of her back, foregoing a holster. She ran her fingers through her hair quick and went downstairs.
She found that Cole had already been up and made coffee. She poured herself a cup as she looked out the kitchen sink window. She could see Cole tending the horses. She slowly drank her coffee and thought about the night before.
Her thoughts about what Angie had said still bothered her. She had slept fitfully, but she couldn’t believe that she spoke in her sleep. Kiev would always plague her, she knew that, but she had hoped that she could spare others from knowing what really happened. She’d lost focus with that job. She knew it. The Alphabets knew it. Hell, Cole probably knew it. But, for all of the knowledge, no one ever challenged her on it until Angie, and Angie didn’t know. She couldn’t know.
She sipped her coffee some more and realized that she had finished the cup. She reached over for the carafe and poured some more. She took a sip and held it in her mouth for a few seconds before swallowing. She shook her head as she finished the second cup. She put the used mug in the sink with some water to keep it from staining and the looked back out the window.
She was looking for Cole again. She couldn’t see him anymore. She moved around to see if she could see him from the house. When she couldn’t find him, she went out on to the porch to see if she could find him better. Her hand immediately went to her back as she walked outside.
Cole came out of the barn and waved at her. She felt her body relax when she saw him. She could see him smiling at her from her vantage point, but she couldn’t tell if he was smiling because she was there or because he was with his horses. She waved back at him.
She decided that she would enjoy the slight country air. She found a rocker on the porch and sat down. She let the calm of the early morning fill her and she closed her eyes.
“Do you always do that in the morning?”
Del’s entire body jerked forward out of the chair and onto her feet. She immediately began scanning the area, as her right hand found its way to the small of her back and her sidearm, and found a stunned Angie looking at her with a cocked eyebrow. She let go of her side arm and rocked forward on her toes to try to alleviate some of her bodily tension from Angie’s surprise greeting. It didn’t work. Angie saw it and only scowled before going back into the house.
She realized that her quick movements had upset Angie. She couldn’t help that she was on edge. She didn’t know who or what was working for the cartels and was after Angie. She was always studying everything and everyone. She hadn’t meant to upset Angie, but it couldn’t be helped. She could only hope that once she talked with Angie that she would understand.
Del went back into the house. She found Angie sitting at the rustic wooden table sipping coffee. She grabbed her coffee cup out of the sink and refilled it. She decided that she would join Angie at the table. Angie just eyed her as she sat down across the table from her.
“What?” Angie asked as she sat down.
“I’m sorry for what happened.”
“I don’t know why I was surprised. I thought I was high strung. You take it to a whole other level. When was the last time you relaxed, Del?”
“I don’t know. I have been on a job for most of my adult life. And, my home life before I joined the military and the Alphabets wasn’t exactly something that anyone needs to know about. I have always been on edge. I am sorry if I scared you,” Del stated.
“It’s fine.”
“Anyway, I’m sorry,” Del offered again as she drank some of her coffee.
“So, you told me that we would be leaving in a few days. What can I do while I am here? Is there anything?” Angie questioned.
Del sat her cup down and looked at her. She could see the defiance in her sapphire eyes. Angie needed an outlet and she knew it.
“We could go for a horseback ride,” Del suggested.
“Will you be armed?”
“Of course,” Del answered.
“Are you always armed?”
“In one manner or another, yes.”
“I guess I should be grateful,” Angie mused.
“Only if I ever have to use them to protect you.”
“Are you always so…cold and aloof?”
“I find that I stay alive better that way. You already know that I haven’t much contact with the world that you know. I am sorry. I am trying, but some things take time.”
“Want to tell me what your dreams are about?”
“No.”
“Well tell me what ‘Nyet, nyet, pozhaluysta, nyet ... prosti menya ... Ya dolzhen byl ... prosti menya’ means, then,” Angie demanded.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Obviously it does. I have heard you scream that out twice, now. I know that ‘nyet’ means ‘no.’ Just tell me what it means and I’ll drop it,” Angie stated.
“No, you won’t and we both know it. You are a bulldog lawyer. I’ve read your dossier, Miss March. You have done well for yourself in short time. I am wondering though at one thing.”
“Yeah, and what is that?”
“How did an ivy league lawyer such as yourself, who could have any firm eating out of your hand due to your family’s political associations and wealth, end up at a low paying, highly non-gratifying job as an assistant district attorney for the City of New York?”
“I wanted to change the world,” Angie replied.
“Well, I see you have,” Del responded.
Her statement wasn’t sarcasm but a mere statement. She could read how much her statement got to Angie’s ego. She wasn’t trying to hurt her. She was just making a point.
“I am sure that you believe tha
t you have as well,” Angie stated.
“I wouldn’t say that I changed the world. I would say that I kept the status quo. I did what was asked of me because I was good at it. I was taught to kill and I am good at it. Do I think that I have personally changed the world? No, I don’t. I have only done what I have done to protect us all and keep this country free. Am I proud of what I’ve done? Sometimes, yes, but mostly, no. Do I think that I have done things that were necessary? Yes, and I would do them again.”
“Well said, soldier,” Angie mused.
“And, you, Counselor, what have you done?”
“I’ve taken down kiddie porn rings, some with international ties. I have the highest conviction rate for my case load. I am trying to save as many people as I can, one conviction at a time.”
“We aren’t that different, you and I,” Del stated.
“How do you mean?”
“You put the scum of the Earth behind bars for their crimes. I put them down for their treachery and terrorism. We do the same job in different ways,” Del replied.
“I don’t think that you can equate them.”
“I already did.”
Del drank her coffee and watched the blonde as she thought about her statements. She didn’t know what it was about Angie that made her act the way she did. She knew that she was going to be confrontational just because it was her nature, but Del didn’t expect to be the one that was starting the frays. She was more passive than anyone gave her credit for, but Angie just…she didn’t know what. Angie was going to prove to be a challenge for her.
“Look, I want to get along with you. I know that we have conflicting world views based on our upbringings and our jobs. We will more than likely disagree more than we agree. I want to keep you safe and I know that you want to live. We will have to work together. I know that you don’t like my rules or my commands, but you do understand that they are for your protection, right?”