Love at first sight wasn’t anything either of them believed in. Lust, for sure. But not love. There was though, something there, some chemistry they hadn’t expected. Jess felt it too. Jay had seen it earlier in the day on the back of the ambulance when he was making sure she was all right. There were moments she hadn’t been able to keep her eyes off him. He’d pretended not to notice, but he was more than aware of her.
“So, what… Wow.” A bright blush covered her face and Jay wanted to bring her close, wanted to let her seek refuge against him until she got herself together and understood what they wanted from her. It was more than sex, especially for Josh, but Jay was willing to let it all play out to see where it led for the three of them. She didn’t seem opposed to the idea of both of them wanting her, but how far she was comfortable letting it go, he didn’t know. Neither of them did.
“Take your time,” he urged. “We’re not going anywhere.”
“I’m divorced,” she tossed out as though it was somehow a factor.
“I’m a Vet,” Josh replied.
“I’m a bum,” Jay added in, for the lightness if nothing else. “You being divorced just means he was dumb enough to let you go.”
“It wasn’t exactly that. He’s a pretty smart man.”
“Apparently not.”
“Honey, what you were, are, did, didn’t do don’t matter to us. You asked if we were trying to seduce you? Yes, we are. Probably unfair given what you went through earlier today and I know neither of us want to put you in a position where you feel taken advantage of, but we don’t believe in beating around the bush when we see something or someone we want.”
Jay zeroed in on her expressions carefully, especially her eyes. As he’d noticed before, they didn’t hide much.
Her pink tongue slipped out and licked her lips. She hadn’t taken another sip of cider since she sat down. She inhaled, let it out and looked everywhere except at them. Josh flipped the steaks and walked toward the table while they seared on the other side.
The sizzling meat gave the sizzle among the three of them a run for their money. Jay could tell she was torn, nervous, and very interested. He didn’t know her well, but he was pretty good at reading people. It was part of his job. He could tell when someone wasn’t being honest about how they were feeling. They called him a whisperer of some sort because he knew what certain signs were and could call people out on their lies. He called it paying attention to the obvious.
Josh was even better at it. He’d had help developing his keen sense about people from his training as a Marine. He never talked about what he did, what he saw, and if he had issues with things, he kept them to himself. Josh was one of the most solid people Jay had ever met. Which was why Josh falling for a woman who wrote blogs for a living had been more than a little weird.
Josh knelt at the end of the table and rested his arms on the surface. His lips were pulled in a thin line. He was thinking about how much and what exactly to say to Jess and she was watching Josh with unblinking eyes and Jay would be she didn’t even know she was leaning toward Josh, lust and hunger shining in those amber depths. Her pulse had kicked up and her breath was a little more uneven. She was barely controlled and that was fucking hot as hell.
“I know who you are,” Josh finally said to her.
“I don’t understand.” She pulled her lower lip between her teeth, worried it. Jay put his hands in his lap so he didn’t reach for her.
“I follow your blog.”
“You follow my blog? Really?”
“Yeah. I’ve been reading every word you’ve written for months. It wasn’t until I walked into your kitchen earlier today that I realized exactly who’s kitchen I was in.”
“You saw the pictures,” she stated and Josh nodded.
From Jay’s vantage point, she seemed caught between awe and confusion. He could understand that. He would be too.
“I wanted to tell you this afternoon when I stopped by, but wasn’t sure how. I wasn’t even sure how I was going to tell you tonight. I have a little bit of a crush on you.”
Jay had to scoff at that. “Little bit my ass. Don’t believe that. It’s a huge crush. You’re the dream girl,” he told her.
“Fuck, Jay.”
“What? She is. We both know it. Now she does too.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t exactly plan to tell her like that.”
“She can handle it. Can’t you, Jess?” As he asked the question, waited for confirmation, she was toying with the tab on her cider can. She didn’t respond right away and as the minutes ticked by, Jay started to worry that maybe he had stepped too far over the line before she was ready for it. “Jess? Honey?”
She lifted her lashes and the look in her eyes… Damn. He’d never seen that look on a woman before, not even one he’d satisfied for hours until they passed out. He hadn’t even been sure she was capable of a look like that, but fuckin’ A…
That corner of her mouth tilted again and she slid her gaze to Josh who was staring at the floor of the deck. Jay started to nudge his brother under the table, but decided to let her do all the talking, all the motioning, all the surprising.
“Dream girl, huh?” she suggested softly. And it was a suggestion. It wasn’t a question really. It was more of a tease, a temptation, a need.
Josh’s head shot up and she smiled fully. Jay’s dick hardened to a near painful erection and he didn’t doubt Josh was experiencing the same sensation. They’d fucked enough women together that they knew what looks, what gestures, what words, what touches from a woman would get the other off.
“I’ve met many of my blog readers over the last couple of years at cookbook signings, at conferences, at the restaurants in town. I’ve never met one who was after more than my recipes or my signature.”
“Oh darlin’…” Josh breathed. “I want many things and recipes are nowhere near the top of the list.”
“W-what is at the top?” she whispered.
*
Despite Jay’s assurance that she could handle the truth, Jess wasn’t so sure. She couldn’t even believe she’d asked the question. She was also still reeling from the information that Josh was a reader of her food blog. Why would a man like him be reading something like that? Sure, she had male readers, male fans, if you could even call them fans, but Josh? Firefighter Josh?
The pleasure it gave her though was something she couldn’t deny. Their meeting was and wasn’t accidental or happenstance. She was practically giddy and Jess was never giddy.
She was flattered, curious, and flat out lusting for the man. For his brother, too.
Both men. Who were trying to seduce her. Only they didn’t need to try. Their genuine concern for her well being and she had no doubt it had been and was genuine. She believed them when they said they hadn’t wanted or meant to take advantage of her in her emotionally vulnerable state after her kitchen burned, but she didn’t see it that way at all. Especially knowing that, at least Josh knew what her kitchen meant to her.
He grinned at her, that wicked look was back, replacing the shy, uncertain one he had when Jay had proclaimed how Josh felt about her. “How about I answer after dinner?”
Jess only nodded and tried not to watch him walk away, but failed miserably. She couldn’t keep her eyes off him.
“You’re not freaked out?”
Jay. God, the man was definitely in your face beautiful and honest. He was sweet and firm and she could see him being the one a girl would go to when she needed to smile, to laugh, to forget a bad day.
She shook her head before meeting his gaze. “No. It’s not like he stalked me. He read the words I wrote, saw the pictures I posted of food, and my kitchen renovations. Though, now I know why y’all have seating for six and serve cider starting at the beginning of Fall.”
“Yeah. Your blog is also why we only drink organic milk and why he drags my ass out to the Farmer’s Market whenever we have a chance on the weekends. You’re also the reason I gained weight over the last six or
so months. But the guys down at the station love your pancake recipes and your candied bacon and your blueberry muffins. Josh is fattening all of ‘em up. The wives are his biggest fans now. Kind of annoying really.”
“He fixes breakfast at the fire station?”
“Every Sunday.”
“I had no idea.” Now she was more than flattered. “Of course, how could I? But that’s so… Wow.”
Jay laughed. “You say that a lot, you know.”
Jess matched his laughter. “Yeah, but then what am I supposed to say to something like that? It’s really cool, when you think about it.”
“Just remember that if he asks for an autograph of the cookbook.”
“He’s got it?”
“Oh yeah. The second one is on pre-order.”
Jess wanted to kiss both men right then and there. She was touched and turned on all at the same time. She kept drifting between stomach clenching arousal and heart stopping emotion. She felt as though she might combust if she didn’t get herself under control.
The man at the grill thought enough about her cooking abilities that he shared her creations with the people he spent most of his time with.
And, he wanted her. In no uncertain terms, he, along with his sexy brother, wanted her.
She knew she needed to ask that question. She knew the answer to it already. But she wasn’t ready to hear it. She would launch herself at one or both of them if they confirmed her thoughts. So, she’d steer clear of it for the moment.
“So,” she said, a little too brightly. The look on Jay’s face, the smirk on his lips, told her he knew something was up. She would ignore that for now. “You know what all I do. My life is pretty much an open book, but other than Josh being a firefighter, and you being a paramedic, what else do y’all do?”
“A lot actually,” Josh answered, coming to put the platter of steaks on the table between them. “Every second we’re not working or catching up on sleep, we’re out doing stuff.”
“Like what?”
“Rock climbing. We have a buddy who owns an indoor place. Football with friends. Zip lining in the mountains.”
“Yeah, we tried mountain biking once,” Jay added, pulling some plates and silverware from a basket on the far end of the table.
“Why only once?”
“I broke my arm and bumped my head hard enough to need a row of stitches along the hairline under my hair. Figure I shouldn’t do that again.”
Jess could agree with that. “I’m not much of an outdoor or adventure person.” She felt the blush as she said it, the old shame about her size creep in, the harsh words from her ex. It was a mental battle some days for her to push it down and keep smiling. Faced with the two men in front of her, their fitness, their adventurous lifestyle both on and off the job…
“Hey. I don’t know what that look is, but I don’t like it,” Josh said, touching the back of her hand with his fingers.
She could try to deny it, though why bother? It wasn’t as though it wouldn’t rear its ugly head again and again like it always did. “When I said earlier that men like you didn’t go for women like me…” Jess sighed and forced herself to look at both Jay and Josh instead of looking away. “My ex wanted a divorce because he didn’t like that I’d gained weight after we got married. He didn’t like women who were bigger. I’m slightly larger than the average woman and he preferred slender, the way I had been when I was twenty.”
It had been a long time since she’d admitted it all out loud and it was the first time she’d ever done so to a man, or two. She couldn’t read their expressions, but their smiles had disappeared and their eyes had darkened. One to a deep blue and one to a deeper shade of green. Their lips were tight, thin lines.
She tried to take her hand from under Josh’s fingers, but he grabbed on tight. “Don’t pull away and wipe the embarrassment off your face.”
“Yeah, honey, that man was a dumbass.”
Jess offered a small smile. “It didn’t feel like it at the time.”
“Well, take it from me, from us, he was and unless he’s come crawling back, he still is one.”
“Y’all are sweet.” She didn’t know what else to say. That didn’t seem to be the right thing, but it was all she could come up with. She no longer wanted to eat. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be there with them either. However, she did know she didn’t want to be alone.
A truth like hers wasn’t what lust was made of.
“Men your age, darlin’, are nothing more than idiots. Our father? Yeah, he was a first rate idiot. I don’t wish Jay away, but his mother is a younger, slimmer version of my mother. After he had his fun with both of them, he left. It was about the pliable conquest, nothing more and nothing less. I don’t know what your ex is doing now and I don’t care. What he said was hurtful and mean, and you’re better off without him.”
Josh’s words brought tears to her eyes and Jay’s fierce expression nearly did her in. No one had ever been so passionate about her. Not her closest friends nor her family, no one in years, but this virtual stranger, this man who found pleasure in the food she created, who fought to save something important to her, who invited her to dinner when he didn’t have to, his crush notwithstanding…
“It’s his loss, honey,” Jay said earnestly. “His loss and our gain.”
“You two are too much for one woman to handle,” she said offhandedly. At least, they were too much for her to handle. Weren’t they? They were young, full of life and risks and all she did was…food. It was her comfort, her safety net, her world. What did she have to offer them? Or even, one of them?
“You’re thinking again.”
She flushed with guilt. She was thinking. She was doubting herself, hearing those words in her head.
“How’d you get into blogging? I think all you’ve written about it is that you really enjoy cooking and eating.”
“Have you seen my hips?” She tried to play off the comment as being light and fun, but in many ways it wasn’t anywhere close.
“We have and we like them very much.” Jay believed what he was saying and she wanted to believe it too. So. Much.
“I used to own a café downtown. A Southern Taste… It had been my dream since I was a kid to own a bakery. When my marriage ended, we sold it as part of the settlement. I was heartbroken. I couldn’t afford to buy him out and he didn’t want anything more to do with it. He wanted a completely clean break.”
“I didn’t know you’d owned that place. I haven’t been there in a while, but the muffins were killer.”
“Yeah, it’s been a while for me too. I don’t think I’ve been there since I got back from the desert,” Josh chimed in, grabbing a steak from the platter. There were potatoes that she hadn’t even paid attention to and Jay had produced a salad from somewhere. Had she been that out of it? Solely focused on the two of them that she’d blocked out all else? It wasn’t like her to not offer to help in some way. She hadn’t even offered to bring anything. She had a feeling she’d have been turned down if she had, though.
“The desert? You’re military?”
“Yep. Marines. Four years. Got out as soon they let me. I loved it. Really did, but it wasn’t for me. Not for a lifetime.”
“You going to eat, honey?”
Jess looked at her empty plate. “I-I don’t know that I can.”
“Why?” Jay questioned. “’Cause of what you told us about your ex being a shallow dick?”
Chapter Six
“Can I at least help with the dishes?”
“Nope,” Jay answered quickly, tossing the dish rag over his shoulder. He cleared the condiments from the counters and put them away in the fridge. “You brought stuff in from outside. That’s enough.”
“Why?”
“Because you had a rough day. Because you’re our guest. Because we said so.”
“Because you say so? Do you know what that sounds like?”
“Yeah. Seems obvious to us that someone should take care of you
for a bit.”
“Does that mean you don’t think I should be taking care of myself?”
“Well, there was that incident with the pizza box…”
“Oh, that’s just wrong.” Jess hiccupped around a giggle. “True. But wrong. I think I’ve had too much to drink too.”
The sound of her laughing made Josh grin. Jess was lighter than she’d been when she first got to the house and he hoped with each passing minute, he hoped she was becoming more comfortable with them.
He’d barely been able to keep his hands to himself and counted it a win that he was kept pretty occupied with eating. He’d noticed Jay sitting on his hands a few times through dinner. Josh understood the feeling.
“You had half of a hard cider and one shot of cinnamon whiskey. How is that too much to drink?”
“I never could hold my liquor.”
“You’re not saying you’re tipsy, are you?”
“I don’t think so, just a little lightheaded. Why? Would tipsy be a bad thing?”
“No. Drunk would be, but not tipsy.”
“I walked over here and I’m sure one of you would take me home if I were drunk.”
“Actually, we’d encourage you to stay here tonight if you were drunk.”
“You would?”
“We would.”
“Why?”
“To keep an eye on you.”
“I’m capable of taking care of myself, drunk, tipsy, or sober.”
“No doubt, but I like the thought of watching out for you. What about you, Josh?”
“I really like the idea.”
“You just like me because I make your mouth water with yummy recipes.”
Josh chuckled low and took a measured step toward where she leaned back against the counter. He hoped he was doing the right thing. “Jess,” he whispered when he was less than an inch away from her body and lowering his head. Her eyes widened, but she didn’t move away. “I most definitely do like your recipes, but you as a woman make my mouth water more than anything else ever has.”
Her lips tasted of cinnamon and alcohol, beef and sour cream. She stood stock still as he nibbled at her, licked at her, and in the end, welcomed the aggressiveness when she wrapped her arms around his neck and slid her tongue against his.
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