Return to Paradise

by Laina Villeneuve

  “I feel like I need a drink.” I sank down into a chair searching inside of myself. “I wish Lacey had stayed.”

  “There’s a quick way to fix that.”

  “I can’t call her at three in the morning.”

  “Why not? She’d want to know. And she’d want to be here. Why is it so hard for you to wake her up?”

  “I don’t want to impose.”

  “It’s not imposing. It’s leaning on someone, letting someone be close enough to you to help you. Don’t you see that she would rather be woken up than feel like she was kept at a distance?”

  Ruth’s words hit hard as I realized how many years I had kept her at a distance. For so long, I hadn’t wanted to be a burden, and all that time, she had been waiting for me to call her.

  I still cringed ringing Lacey at such an early hour.

  “What’s wrong?” Her voice was heavy with sleep.

  “I’m sorry to wake you,” I said.

  “Madison?” She sounded confused.

  “Brenna and her guys are chasing Hagen, and…” I closed my eyes, hating to ask for anything.

  “I’m on my way.”

  Was it really that easy? For so many years I’d tried to do things on my own figuring that people would respect the one who could take care of herself. I hadn’t realized how lonesome that imposed self-reliance felt until I accepted how much better everything was with Lacey by my side.

  “I’m fine,” I kept assuring her when she got there, her hair sleep rumpled. She’d thrown on the same jeans she’d been wearing when she left and a lightweight fleece. I sank into the softness of her as she ran her hands over my arms and back. “I’m not hurt.”

  “You could have been,” she said, having seen the hole in my window. “You should have had Brenna file her report.”

  “I thought that would be the end of it.”

  “Well obviously it wasn’t.”

  Someone knocked on the door, and Ruth jumped up to open it.

  “How do you call off the horse?” Brenna said. “Hey Lacey,” she said, not batting an eye. “You got him off the road. Care to get him away from the tree Hagen’s roosted himself in?”

  Lacey laughed. “Houdini’s got him up a tree?”

  “He had Hagen stuck on the hood of his truck for the longest time. I don’t know how he managed to run in the first place,” I said.

  “All I know is Hagen won’t come down with the horse camped out, and my guys can’t get that beast to move. Seems to be his MO.”

  “I’ve got some grain in the barn,” I offered. Lacey grabbed the Maglite I kept on top of the fridge and escorted me to the barn. I knew she was waiting for me to respond about the report, but she didn’t press as I grabbed a bucket and a handful of the corn, oats and barley mix. “I’ll ask her to file this report.”

  “That’s a start. It’s not enough, but Brenna’s waiting to give this to Houdini.”

  “No, she’s not.” I heard Houdini’s hoofbeats slow at the door. He nudged it open, and I met him with his prize.

  “Glad you were here to protect her,” Lacey said, stroking his neck. “How did he know?”

  “You’re ready to talk about Fate now?”

  She reached out to me, and I set the bucket down, sliding into her arms.

  “If I had known about Shawneen being your mom, I like to think that evening would have gone differently.”

  “Isn’t that something to imagine. If I’d have known coming here was about finding you, I wouldn’t have wasted any time at all on Shawneen. I’m the one who poked at that beehive. I’m the one who has to fix it.”

  “You don’t have to fix it alone, okay?”

  Tough as it was for me to accept, I knew she was right and followed her out past Houdini.

  Brenna was waiting outside. “We’ve got Hagen in the cruiser. Madison, mind if we get your statement now while it’s still fresh?”

  “Sure. I’m too wired to sleep anyhow.”

  Lacey took my hand as we walked across the yard. From inside the cruiser, I could hear Hagen yelling his head off, but Brenna paid him no mind at all and followed us to the house.

  Chapter Forty-One

  Madison

  “You didn’t have to do this,” I told Gabe when he showed up the next morning with Mrs. Wheeler’s tractor again. Lacey had already headed over to her shop, and Ruth was in town picking up groceries.

  “Oh, I do.”

  “Seems like Lacey and I are the ones who owe you for looking after the place.”

  “Oh, that wasn’t anything. And it wasn’t Lacey who asked me to come out now.”

  “She didn’t?” I was confused. Since it was her grandmother’s tractor, I’d assumed that they had set it up on the sly.

  “Brenna did.”

  “Brenna? What, she thinks that if you help fix my field, I’ll file the official restraining order?” Once he’d busted my window, I conceded that I wasn’t made of money and gave my statement to the officer. Brenna had insisted on a temporary restraining order and had sternly suggested that I file my own with the court.

  He shrugged. “I don’t really get how it all works.”

  “See, but this is the problem. You’re out here doing something nice because…” Did I say your girlfriend? I still wasn’t sure. “Because Brenna sent you. The only reason Hagen was out here is because Shawneen got him all worked up. She’s the problem, but it’s not like I can file an order telling her to stop filling Hagen’s mind with crap. I have to do it. I know that. But I’m not up to it yet.”

  “If you’re not going to talk to Shawneen, then you’ve got to do the restraining order. She didn’t drive him out here that night, Madison. And he could’ve hurt you or lashed out at Lacey. A field, a window, you can repair. Your being stubborn makes you vulnerable, and people…They aren’t as easy to fix.”

  Worried his concern might make me cry, I walked over to open the gate, giving me some time to swallow back my tears. He backed the antique tractor out of his stock trailer and putted into the field. After he cut the engine and jumped to the ground, he walked out to where I’d been working with a shovel. I’d spent the morning breaking my back trying to repair the rows by hand, righting the plants I could and pulling the ones I couldn’t.

  “What’d you lose?”

  “Squash, mostly. Half my tomatoes.”

  “Okay.” He already had his phone out of his pocket and up to his ear by the time I realized he wasn’t just making conversation. I started waving trying to get him to hang up, but it was too late.

  “Hey, Mrs. W. A lot of it is fixable, and the tractor will speed her up a bunch. Yeah. She was down here with the shovel when I got here.” He turned away from me and listed out the plants I’d mentioned as well as others I hadn’t. I didn’t want the damage to seem as bad as it was, but poking through the discard pile with the toe of his boot, he easily read the field’s casualties.

  “She’ll be over in a half hour,” he said when he turned back to me.

  “What do you mean she’s coming in a half hour?”

  “That’s all we need to get the furrows repaired. Then she’ll be here with the crew to get the new plants in. Good as new by the end of the day. Did you need any help with the window?”

  “Lacey and I hung some plywood over it. It’ll be a week before the glass comes in. Wait. Quit trying to distract me. I can’t take more of Mrs. Wheeler’s plants. I’ll be fine with what’s left for the season.”

  “You want to argue with Mrs. W? I’ll get her back on the line for you.” He pulled out his phone and angled his head waiting for me to gesture him to call. I couldn’t find any words, which brought a satisfied smile to his face. “I figured you had the sense not to argue with her. And you’ll save yourself an earful if you get on board about the restraining order before she gets here. You want to do the driving or directing?” He asked without missing a beat, shooting a thumb at the tractor.

  “Direct. I don’t trust myself not to rip up everything that’s
left.”

  “Fair ’nuff,” he drawled, sounding a little like Dani.

  Before he’d finished with the rows, two cars pulled up the drive—Hope, Dani and Joy with Lacey’s gran in one and Della in the other. The first three women hugged me warmly and reiterated how glad they were that all the damage to my field was repairable. I shot a look at Gabe who shrugged as if it were coincidence that they were using words so similar to his. I didn’t know whether to hug Della or not and wished Lacey was here to act as a buffer. I wasn’t sure why she’d allowed herself to get roped into the act of kindness, but she answered the question about whether she expected a hug by stepping forward and pulling me into an only slightly awkward embrace.

  “I was promised snacks,” Della explained.

  “Which we’ve got in the car,” Hope quickly added before I could worry about what I was going to feed this impromptu crew.

  Suddenly, I was thankful to have Della there. Had she not been, I could not have accepted the kindness from those whom I considered Lacey’s family and friends without crying. Della made it all business, carrying the trays of plants from Hope’s car to the field. Knees in the dirt, we made fast work as the sun crept high in the sky. Nobody talked about why they were there. Mrs. Wheeler discussed her hopes for the crops, Dani and Hope chatted about their plans for the summer, inviting me to join them all when they took a pontoon boat out on Lake Almanor. Gabe shared stories of leaping from a rock formation at Indian Falls into the icy Feather River.

  “Joy won’t be jumping off any rocks,” Dani said.

  Having both grown up in Quincy, Hope and Gabe shared a look, but it was Mrs. Wheeler who said, “If she grows up here, you won’t be able to stop her. That place has a mighty pull.”

  Dani spoke again. “What about you and Lace? Are you two talking about babies?”

  Her questions stopped me short, but I was the only one. Everyone else kept working as my mind spun. Hands on my thighs, I looked at Joy happily playing with clods of dirt in the shade of the tractor. Lacey and I hadn’t talked about it. We hadn’t even talked about living in the same house. She was over in East Quincy at work in her shop, the house where she’d spent her youth.

  Yet here I was literally putting down my roots at Hot Rocks. I recalled how it had felt to stand on the property for the first time that snowy day, how I’d felt like I’d finally found my home. I could not have imagined this scene, that there were others who would be invested in my success.

  “You don’t have to answer that,” Della said, making me realize how long I’d been silent. “She doesn’t mean to get personal. She’s got to know about everyone’s breeding potential.”

  “That’s not true,” Dani insisted.

  “You asked me if I wanted kids when we first met. I wasn’t even dating anyone!”

  “Yeah. And it’s how you introduced yourself to me,” Hope agreed.

  Dani glanced at the others. When neither Gabe nor Mrs. W disagreed, she hung her head and laughed. “Hi, I’m new in town. Are you interested in having babies with me?”

  “Pretty much.” Hope laughed too, before leaning across the furrow to kiss her wife. “And that was it. How could I say no?”

  “Your family is here in town, aren’t they?” I asked Hope, remembering what Shawneen had said about how I overestimated what the town felt about having an out lesbian couple.

  “My father is. Now that my sister is in school, it’s just me and him.”

  “And he let you jump off rocks into the river?” I asked because I couldn’t ask about how he and the town treated her and Dani like I really wanted to.

  The way she smiled at me made me feel like she knew exactly what I was asking. “Indian Falls was a favorite spot of ours, and Dad already talks to Joy about how much she’ll love it when she’s old enough to join her cousins in the water.”

  “This town will surprise you,” Dani said. Her words were for me, but her eyes were on Hope.

  “It already has,” I answered. I was so glad that Lacey and Ruth had insisted I come back. I knew it was time to talk to Lacey about how lucky I was that a blown tire had led me to her shop and how she’d repaired what I hadn’t even known was broken.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Lacey

  The ’66 Mustang was back in for an annoying leak in the rear transmission seal. I was going to have to remove the whole driveshaft and was settled in on the creeper when I heard a familiar clop. Though it had been a while since he’d visited, I was prepared for the nudge on my boot and Houdini’s four hooves visible from where I lay.

  I was totally unprepared though for the set of boots that dropped to the floor. I wheeled out and looked up at Madison. I blinked in confusion. “What on earth are you doing? How’d you get here? Are you trying to get Brenna to give you a ticket?”

  “It’s nice to see you too.” She dropped one of the reins to the ground and fished through the saddlebags hanging from the horn of her saddle.

  Straddling my creeper, I sat there trying to wrap my brain around her being in my shop with Houdini. When she turned around, she had her childhood cigar box in her hands. She knelt down next to me and pressed it into my hands without speaking. It was heavier than it had been when I’d found it tucked away in our bedroom wall. Did she realize we were sitting within throwing distance of where it had been? I pushed the lid up and gasped.

  The last time I’d seen that golden Wulfsburg crest was when I was sixteen and learning to drive in my dad’s Beetle. “Where? How?” I didn’t have words. When I’d first begun the project, I thought it would be so easy to piece the old car back together, and as I checked items off the list and the horn continued to elude me, I’d begun to think the hole in the middle of the steering wheel would mock me forever. An alternative to the genuine ’53 was simply unacceptable. This one was perfect.

  “My pop found it.”

  I considered her impishness that had sometimes made her seem timid or vulnerable but now I knew was part of her quirkiness. “Your pop,” I said because she’d said it so easily.

  “Charlie. I asked him to be on the lookout for it.”

  The fact that she’d had the conversation with Charlie meant as much to me as the object in my hand did. “And you knew the right one.”

  “It is? You didn’t say…I was worried…”

  I set the box down next to me and threw my arms around her, even though I itched to install the horn that instant. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.” I felt my words work their way past the insecurities that had guarded her for so long. It was like she’d been wrapped in thorns that now bloomed instead.

  “That first day I stood in your shop, I was so lost. I didn’t think there was any place I really belonged.”

  “And then you left, and Della yelled at me for letting a hottie drive away.”

  “What exactly did you tell Della?”

  I blushed. “It wasn’t what I said. She read it in my face.”

  “Hmm. That sounds suspiciously like Fate.” Her eyes locked onto mine.

  “If that’s what you want to call it.” Everything around us felt still.

  “I don’t know how this works,” she whispered.

  “How what works?”

  “I belong with you. I rode out here because I needed the time to think of what to say or how to solve this problem. I know I can’t ask you to give up your childhood home, but this isn’t my home. Hot Rocks is, and I have to be there for the business anyway and…”

  I saw no logical end to the words tumbling out of her mouth, so I planted a kiss on her. “Is this your roundabout way of asking me to move in with you?”

  “If you wanted to. But not just that. Would you…Do you think you could take a look at the horn?”

  Puzzled, I picked up her treasure box again and lifted out the horn. Beneath it was a band. My blood whooshed faster as I lifted it out. “It’s beautiful,” I said, admiring the square setting that held four small diamonds around a slightly larger one in the middle.


  “It was Bo’s mother’s. Ruth found it one of the nights we were sorting.”

  “And she gave it to you.”

  “She did.”

  “How do you know she didn’t mean for you to be the one wearing it?”

  Real confusion swept across her face. “Because then what would you wear?”

  I jumped up and ran to the bench. I searched through the hollow locating dowels I kept for locating the cylinder head when I was positioning it on the block. Different sized engines required that I have a variety of sizes on hand. I selected from the shorter ones, slipping one after another onto my finger until I had one that fit in a makeshift way.

  Madison had followed me to the bench to watch what I was doing, and when she saw me slide the thick band of metal over my knuckle, she met my eyes. I still had her grandmother’s ring and held it up. Madison offered me her hand, and I slid the diamond into place. “It fits perfectly,” I said.

  She reached diagonally between us and took my left hand in hers. “We can shop for your ring.”

  “You don’t approve? I think it’s appropriate.”

  “I don’t want your family and friends thinking that’s all I can do.”

  “I don’t need anything fancy.”

  “That’s not what I thought when I first saw you standing in your shop.”

  “When you thought I was the customer?” I egged because I loved to hear her tell stories about us.

  “I thought you were the homecoming queen. No homecoming queen would wear a…what is that, anyway?”

  “A hollow locating dowel,” I said like everyone knew.

  “No homecoming queen would wear a hollow locating dowel as an engagement ring.”

  “Luckily, I was never homecoming queen.”

  Madison stepped forward and kissed me deeply. “I don’t want to spend any of my nights without you. Ever.”

  “Good. But what are we going to do with Houdini?”

  “Gabe said he’d pick him up with his trailer on the way out to Hot Rocks this evening.”