by J. Darling
“What’s a twisted Bristol?”
“In my book, the meanest, nastiest horse bit when in the wrong hands.”
“So, a Sweetwater isn’t then?”
“All bits have their failings. A Sweetwater relieves the pressure put on the tongue, it’s a less is more kind of thing for him, and when he allowed me to come near him, I rewarded him by removing the harsh bit from his sore mouth. The Sweetwater will allow his tongue to heal from the damage caused by the Bristol used with a heavy hand.”
“What’s with the naming thing?”
“Friesian naming is coordinated between birth year and the alphabet. Horses born in his birth year, if we go with the papers he came with, were given names that started with A, B, or C.”
“Why Wisconsin?”
Sly, very sly, get me talking then slip in some personal questions. “Because I like states that start with W.”
He laughed. “Serious, why Wisconsin?”
Here we go, she thought, wishing she was like that horse and could just gallop away. Taking a deep breath, she answered him. “Because I needed a fresh start and this was offered to me.”
“What was it you needed to get away from?”
Give an inch and he takes a mile, go figure. “Headaches and heartaches.”
“Tell me, so I know.”
Her heart sounded the alarm. “I can’t—”
“Can’t or won’t?” he snapped.
Pausing, she looked at him intently, then away. “Don’t,” she responded firmly.
Turning to her, he was unrelenting. “Are you ready to give up on that horse?”
“No.”
“Are you going to let him down, treat him poorly?”
“Never.”
“Then what makes you think I would with you?” he asked, clearly annoyed and somewhat offended. “Tell me, I want to know.”
Okay, fine. He wants to know, what did she care. He would have to deal with the fallout. “Because it’s the way it’s always been. I was used, abused, and abandoned, or so I thought. But it was more like used, abused, and saved. I don’t remember a lot of the earlier stuff, which is a blessing I suppose, except that when I became older, the cycle started all over again. I was offered an opportunity to leave it all behind and I took it.” She felt his eyes on her, sensed his discontent. “Yes, what you’re thinking is what I’m saying.”
“Who? Who hurt you?”
Naturally, he wouldn’t let it go. They never did. “Is it really important?” she answered on a sigh.
“To some degree, yes,” he defended.
Of course, the hero. “You can’t fix this, Kris. What’s done is done.”
“Tell me,” he insisted.
She sighed again as she watched the horses in the pasture. “By many standards my mother was, is, and always will be a buckle bunny, but trust me, she isn’t choosey. She follows the rodeo circuit and the men who work them. But overall, you will find her wherever men are. So there were always men and their protégés hanging around.”
“How did you get away from them?”
“On a rare occasion, my mom settled down with a man for a while. It never lasted. On one such occasion, she left and forgot to take me with her. D.D. kept me at his ranch, looked after me.”
“Did he hurt you?”
Shaking her head, she answered, “No, he’s probably the single best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Where was your mom?”
More like where wasn’t she. “Around.”
“Where’s D.D. now?”
“He died of a heart attack a few years back.”
“Did he provide for you, maybe?” he asked, his voice hopeful.
“Everything went to his son, Deegan.”
“Wouldn’t he help you?”
Yeah, right. “It depends on what you define as help.”
“He wouldn’t let you stay at the ranch?”
“No,” she responded flippantly. “He pretty much decided I came with the ranch, he just figured I needed to earn my keep.” That made him pause, and he stood up taller in apparent concern.
“What are you saying?”
He was the one who asked, it wasn’t her fault it was ugly. “He was a stag in rut and I was handy.”
“Dan—”
“I just want to be left alone.” She closed her eyes, shutting him out, wanting it to stop.
“Okay, okay, I get that. I can understand that, but I think it goes much deeper than that. I wonder if it isn’t more you just want the pain to stop. Dani, you’ve rescued that horse from the hurtful conditions he was living in, but that hasn’t stopped his pain, has it? Now that he’s safe, you just going to leave him alone?”
No, no more talking, she was done talking, it hurt too much. “I thought you were taking me fishing?”
Getting the hint, he responded kindly, “Alright, we’ll stop. You’ve given me a lot today. Thank you for that. Is there anything we need to do before we go?”
Damn, he’d listened. She wasn’t used to that. Opening her eyes, she looked at him. Shaking her head in response, she felt weakened by the process and wondered if she would ever feel whole?
Taking her hand, and giving it a little tug, he said, “Let’s go then.”
Pausing, she shifted her eyes to their joined hands. “You can let go of my hand, I manage just fine.”
Nodding and giving her arm another tug, he answered her, “I know you do.”
He didn’t let go.
*****
It’s a nice one, Dani! That makes four walleyes, and a bunch of sunnies. You want to keep fishing, or be done for the day?”
Smiling widely as she handled the beauty, she took the fish off the hook. “I think we should call it a day. It was fun. Thank you.”
Whistling appreciatively as he took the fish and put it on the line with the others, he smiled and nodded. “I had a great time, we’ll go again. So what are we going to do with the fish?”
“Cook them and eat them,” she answered, patting her tummy.
He laughed. “Alright, you cook then?”
“I manage,” she answered, as she attended to their rods, “but I never really learned how to cook.”
“Should we see if Jules can help us out then?” he asked, maneuvering the boat to the dock.
She shook her head. “No, I want to go home, but I want only one fish, the rest are for you and your family.”
Thinking of her empty fridge, he said, “You can keep them, put them in the freezer.”
“Nah, thank you though,” she responded, gathering her stuff. “You want me to get the truck?”
He shook his head. “We’re leaving the boat. A friend of mine lives here and lets me use his dock.”
“That’s nice,” she answered, putting her stuff up on the floating platform and climbing out of the boat, ignoring the hand he held out for her.
Figures, he thought, then went on taking no offense. “Jules will happily cook them, and the rest will happily eat them. Especially Nik, he’s always hungry.”
She laughed. “From the amount of food on the table, it looked like you all have a healthy appetite.”
Throwing their stuff in the back of the truck, they took off. “Us guys, yes, the girls, no. They eat like birds. Once I dished Jules up, not paying any attention, slapped and heaped food on her plate, even got some on her clothes, then poured gravy over the whole thing, and she about fainted. That’s why I gave you small portions the other day, and tried my best to be careful.”
Raising her eyebrows at the revelation, she answered with a smirk. “You could solve that easily by letting people serve themselves, you know.”
“I suppose,” he answered, turning out onto the main road, “but the men in our family have always served the women. I don’t know why, we just have. For us, it’s a sign of respect, an indication that we’re considering their needs along with our own.”
“So it’s natural for you to do that?”
“Yes and no, I�
�ve seen it practiced, but haven’t had much need to practice it myself. My ‘healthy appetite’ as you call it has made me big and clumsy.” She looked over at him suspiciously and he looked away.
“Are you sure that’s the reason you haven’t practiced it? From the looks of that neck wound, and your purported state of being single, I get the feeling it’s more like you’re a fox in the hen house.”
He laughed, albeit a bit uncomfortably, and busied himself with getting home quick. “I plead the fifth, and I like my earlier rationalization, big and clumsy sounds better.”
She snorted. “Yeah, I bet. Your ‘healthy appetite’ may have provided the nutrients for you to grow to your full potential, but it didn’t make you clumsy. If you’re clumsy, I’d say it’s because you’re a giant trying to live in a smaller man’s world. I get that. You’ll never see me jacked in a pair of heels.”
He looked over, envisioning what she’d look like in heels and almost groaned aloud. “You’re not that tall.” She laughed and he loved it. No giggling for her.
“Right,” she answered, clearly unconvinced. “When was the last time you had your eyes examined? You might want to get that done before you get hurt.”
He grinned and went for it. “I’m serious. You could wear heels and I’d still be taller than you. You’re not that tall.” He was actually having to work for this one, and he liked it.
She shook her head, not taking any of his bullshit. “Okay then, if I’m not that tall, why did you want to know how tall I am?”
Turning, he gave her his best smile, laying on the charm. “Because I wanted to know how tall perfect is.”
She rolled her eyes and shook her head, unimpressed. “That’s piffle. Please don’t,” she answered, trying to put the brakes on things.
The idiot he was wouldn’t stop. “You want me to lie to you then, is that it?”
“Kris—”
Her tone uttered a warning that he heard loud and clear. Change the subject quick, he decided. “Who’s Goldie?”
She looked over at him puzzled.
Good, he’d thrown her off. “This morning, when you were on the phone, you said to have him bring Goldie.”
Her expression took on one of understanding. “Not who, what,” she said with relief, shaking her head at the apparent change in conversation. “Goldie’s my hunting dog.”
He groaned. Too late, it just slipped out, and she looked over clearly on the defensive.
“What?”
Pulling into the farmyard, he put the truck in park and looked over at her. “You hunt?”
“Yeah, you got a problem with that?”
He sighed, albeit very quietly, then asked, “What do you hunt?”
“Big game and waterfowl. You want to make something of it?”
She was going to bring him to his knees. “Can I show you something?” he asked, as they got out of the truck.
Stopping at the question, she rolled her eyes again. “Let me guess, you want to show me your gun. Haha. No thanks.”
He started laughing, then took her hand and pulled her along. “Come on, don’t be so cynical. Besides, it’s not a gun, it’s a rifle.”
“Mmhmm,” she answered unimpressed. “That’s what they all say.”
*****
Opening the door to the outbuilding and flipping on the light switch, he stepped inside, moving over so she could see what he wanted to show her. Walking further inside and looking all around, she studied the walls and tables, then smiled brightly. Glancing his way, her eyes twinkled, and she nodded appreciatively. “This…is nice. Real nice. I’m impressed. So, you’re a taxidermist?”
He went all robin breasted proud. “Coming from you, I’ll take that as a compliment. No, I’m a farmer who has too much time on his hands in the winter months. So, I come out here and putter around. My family informed me the night of the storm that I’m becoming feral, and as you pointed out, I need to get out more. So there you go.”
She chuckled. “That wasn’t very nice of them.”
“No, but sadly, I’ve come to realize it’s true.” Walking to a tall cabinet, he maneuvered the lock and opened the door. Smiling, he turned and looked at her. “You still not interested in seeing my gun?”
Looking him straight in the eye, she said with a glimmer, “I thought it was a rifle?”
“It is, but these here are my guns, take a look, you might find something intriguing.”
She laughed a little, as she stepped closer. “Okay, just a peek. At the guns. In the gun cabinet.” Stopping, she smiled heartily. “A collector of Winchesters I see. Nice. Can I touch?”
Oh yeah. “Please,” he answered with a glint in his eye, the energy between them crackling. “I wish you would.”
She laughed and shook her head. “Naughty, naughty, naughty.” Reaching out, she sighed, appreciating what she saw. “Oh baby, come to mama,” she said, taking out the best of the bunch. Loving the rifle with her hands, she turned it from side to side, then put it up in aiming and firing position. “A prewar model seventy, four fifty-eight magnum, sweet, very sweet.”
She froze and shifted her eyes over to him when he groaned. Coughing, he tried to cover it up, shuffling his feet in the process.
Catching his eye, she quizzed him, “What?”
“You know your way around a gun.”
She went back to studying the gun. “Mmhmm. Sure do. Does that surprise you?”
“I find it sexy as hell. What do you use?”
Putting the gun back, she grabbed another, studied it, and put it through its paces. “I’m a Remington gal, mine’s a Remington seven hundred bolt action, seven millimeter magnum, but I have others, it just depends on what I need it for.”
He had to ward off a hard-on while standing and watching her open, close, lever, aim, and trigger his firearms. “What do you like to hunt?”
“It would be easier to say what I don’t like to eat. I hunt so I have food to eat, but I suppose elk would be my answer, deer work too.”
He smiled, unable to stop himself, the words just rolling off his tongue, he said, “I like you.”
She let out a grunt. “All because I know how to handle a gun and eat game.”
Man, she really had been treated poorly. “No, not even remotely close to that, it goes further. It’s because you’re by far the sharpest, most interesting person I’ve ever met.”
“Yeah right.” She shook her head as she put the gun back, not believing him in the least.
“You don’t believe me.”
“No, I don’t. What you meant to say was the sharpest, most interesting woman you’ve ever met.”
“Wrong, sharpest, most interesting person I’ve ever met. That you’re a woman is an absolute bonus, and I’m glad to have met you. There aren’t many like you out there.”
“Thank God for that, the world just sighed,” she responded sarcastically.
He shook his head. “Wrong again, Dani. You think all men want is some feminine, needy, clingy, little woman, and because of all that’s happened, you distance yourself from men and your femininity as much as possible. Except that there are men out there that find strong, capable, independent women remarkably attractive and appealing. I’m one of those men, and you’re absolutely one of those women.”
“Ah, the allure of the amazon woman.”
She was beginning to piss him off with her self-deprecation. “Knock that shit off,” he snapped, standing his ground. “I won’t have you mocking me or you in that way. You want a fresh start, then lose the stereotypes and give things a chance.”
Turning from him, she took a deep breath and let it out. “It’s not like a light switch, you can’t just turn it on or off. If you could, I would’ve shut it off a long time ago.”
“True, but you don’t have to stand in the light alone. It’s just you and me, Dani, no one else knows you here. It really is a fresh start.”
“I come with a hell of a lot of baggage.”
She sure the hell did, and
she was going to require special handling. Closing the gun cabinet, he answered her, “My dad, he has a little saying, it goes, everything happens for a reason. I don’t know what all has happened in your past, and maybe one day you’ll want to tell me, and if you do, I’ll listen. But I can tell you this, of all the families in Wisconsin you could have met, you were brought to ours for a reason. My brother in law, Nate, he’s a retired Army Ranger, and has PTSD from stuff he encountered in Iraq and Afghanistan. When he returned, things were bad, and he and Linnie needed to live with us so we could all help him through things while he received therapy and treatment. Essentially, what I’m trying to tell you is that I have some experience in dealing with people who’ve survived trauma. All of us have, you’re safe with us.”
“I…I…” Silence.
“Let’s not look too far into the future right now, okay?” he stated, trying to alleviate some of her stress. “Let’s just take this one minute at a time.”
Silence.
She was stuck. Trying to defuse the situation, he tried helping her. “Dani, turn and take my hand. Let’s get those fish cleaned. Jules won’t touch them otherwise.”
Laughing with start, she turned a little. “A real wimp is she?” Glancing at him, the hurt and anguish just below the surface, she quickly looked away, running a thumb and finger under her eyes.
Reaching his hand out to her, he said softly, “We’ll work through this. We will. Come, let’s clean those fish, then let’s go to your house, where we’ll enjoy a couple beers while we manage to make something edible, then we’ll relax. Out of curiosity, do you like to watch movies?” He watched her make a fist, then straighten her fingers, before stretching and shaking them out.
With a worried look and deep sigh, she took his hand, as she answered him quietly, “Some, action adventures mostly.”
Pulling her a little closer, he looked into her eyes. “Indulge me, please, tell me how tall is perfect?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know, but I’m five-ten and half.”
“Dani, that is perfect.”
*****
The next day, Kris pulled into the ranch yard at half past noon. Putting the truck in park, he looked around wondering where Dani might be. Not wanting to scare her like he had the day before, he sat waiting, hoping she’d make an appearance and see him first. No luck. Getting out of the pickup, he grabbed his purchases and carried them to the house. Spinning on his heel, he looked to the barn when he heard a loud cracking sound and the noise of things snapping and breaking.