by Enid Titan
“Tell me. Come on, Gavriel. It can’t be that bad.”
“I was watching Jaen and Xanth on a date.”
Jisoo covers her mouth.
“The new girl?”
“Yes,” I admit through gritted teeth. I don’t want to talk about this with anyone, but I especially don’t want to talk about it with Jisoo. Just because I’ve seen her and Garth on the verge of getting busy doesn’t mean we have that kind of friendship.
“Oh. That’s bad. That’s negligent.”
“Yes, it’s negligent, and it was stupid. What did I hope to accomplish observing their date?”
“You’re in love with her too?”
She says the words like it’s a revelation. I forget that not everyone on this ship has Kazim’s spectacular ability to tease sexual tension out of any situation.
“No. I’m not in love with her. I don’t trust Xanth’s intentions.”
“Hm. Interesting.”
“Is it?”
“Not really. But you’re out of luck. Garth won’t forgive you for that.”
“I know. I’m accepting my punishment.”
“Listen, Gavriel. Word of advice? Forget about Jaen Nabokov. I know how men on this ship get and I know her type of girl. She’ll go after Xanth because he’s the oldest and richest. Older and richer men die first, everyone knows that. She’s a pirate. She’s after money.”
I want to tell Jisoo that Jaen isn’t that type of girl. But what do I know? All I know is I’m out of a job and out of 35% of my earnings — a big enough problem that this won’t be my last job. I’ll have to go home to my siblings and tell them I screwed up. I’ll be leaving in another 90 days. I’m tired of lying to them. I’m tired of reassuring them I’m coming back, knowing that I might not.
“Thanks for the advice,” I mutter and return to my quarters.
Kazim comes in after an hour. Nova’s hanging onto his arm, giggling and prodding his abdomen with her finger while he laughs. They sober up once they notice I’m in the room.
“Gav. We heard what happened,” Nova says, pity in her voice, “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
Kazim kisses the top of Nova’s head.
“Listen. Garth’s overreacting. I don’t know why, but I suspect Jisoo’s been whispering in his ear, vying for your position.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I groan, “She’s trying to help me. She said she’d talk to him for me.”
“Garth made her Quartermaster,” Nova complains, “She’s not even qualified.”
“She’s third mate. She’s plenty qualified.”
Nova snorts.
“Men! He only made her Quartermaster because they’re sleeping together. When did that happen?”
“It’s not a crime to have sex,” Kazim says, leaning over Nova as she wriggles away from him.
“I know that you’re criminally horny, Kazim. But think clearly. Jisoo’s been vying for Gavriel’s position. That’s why she opposes him in every senior crew meeting.”
I sit up, in desperate need of an alcoholic beverage or twelve.
“Mission accomplished. I await my next duty assignment. I’m no longer a member of the senior crew.”
“She’s a snake,” Nova sneers, taking my side and making me feel better with her open bitterness, even if it’s misdirected. This isn’t anyone’s fault but my own.
“She’s not a snake,” Kazim responds, “She has large brown eyes, and she’s skinny but with a perfect hour glass. I bet her arse tastes like marshmallows.”
“Kazim!” Nova shrills, “I swear I’m going to cut off your body parts and turn them into sausages!”
“I’ve already got a sausage for you, sweetheart.”
“Kazim!” Nova yells, “I’m serious!”
I interrupt their argument before it ends with someone getting stabbed or worse — the two of them humping each other in the bunks.
“What does Garth plan to do about the food?”
“It’s salvageable,” Nova squeaks. I don’t believe her. Kazim scoffs.
“Don’t lie to him. He’s sending out a mission. Poke’s leading it.”
“I ought to be on that mission. It’s my fault.”
Kazim and Nova exchange nervous glances. Before I can ask what’s wrong, our door buzzes. Kazim leans against the frame as the door slides open.
“Kazim’s sexual services, how may I help?”
“Kazim!” Nova shrills again. He moves out of the way and allows Jaen to enter our quarters.
“Nova, we’d better go.”
He drags Nova out of the room before I can protest their absence. Jaen stands with her hands on her hips and Bonbon on her head. I swear that hedgehog doubled in size since the last time I saw it.
“Jaen? What are you doing here?”
“What the hell happened? There’s a rumor going around that Garth demoted you.”
“It’s not a rumor.”
“Okay. Then what happened?”
“I messed up. I missed my duty shift. Well, I left my duty shift.”
“Why? Why would you do something like that?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Gavriel, we’re friends.”
“We are not friends. The last time we spoke, you stormed off. You’ve made your feelings clear.”
She scowls.
“You were the one acting like an asshole. That’s why I stormed off. I still… We’re still friends.”
“I’m not looking for friends, Jaen.”
“Why did you miss your duty shift?” she insists.
“I was in the mess hall.”
“No, you weren’t. I was in the mess hall and I didn’t notice you.”
“Right,” I scoff, “On your date with the precious doctor.”
“How did you know when —
She trails off.
“You were spying on me?!”
“No. I wasn’t. I was observing Xanth for unrelated reasons.”
“You were! Gavriel, what is wrong with you? I heard Garth decreased your earnings by 35%. That’s not fair.”
“It doesn’t matter if it’s fair. I respect my captain’s decisions.”
“Why would you put your livelihood at risk to spy on my date? That was incredibly stupid.”
She’s right, but it’s adding insult to injury to have Jaen lecturing me, of all people.
“I don’t need you to judge.”
“This isn’t fair,” Jaen says, “I agree with what everyone’s saying. Garth’s punishment was too harsh. I’m going to talk to him.”
“Jaen, don’t!”
I grab her hand and stop her. She doesn’t pull away from me this time and thankfully she doesn’t stab me either.
“What’s your problem?”
“I don’t have a problem.”
“Why won’t you let me in?” She asks.
“What?”
It’s a rich accusation coming from her.
“Let me help you, Gavriel.”
“I can’t let you. Your status on this ship is already in danger. Please, Jaen. Don’t say anything.”
She pulls her hand away from mine and leaves with Bonbon on her shoulder and without saying another word.
Chapter 40
Et Tu, Horus?
I don’t want to hurt Jaen. I don’t want to fight with her. I want to believe that she doesn’t love Xanth and that she couldn’t. But maybe Jisoo is correct. She’s self-interested. She’s a pirate like everyone else on this ship, which means she doesn’t give a damn who she hurts as long as she wins.
But she said she’d talk to Garth. That has to mean something. I need sleep. It’s the only way to feel better, and until I have a duty shift, there’s nothing better for me to do except skulking around the mess hall. This is torture.
The doors to my quarters slide open after a few minutes of sleep. There’s a dark, looming shadow.
“Kazim,” I groan, “Close the bloody door.”
“Get
him,” I hear Garth’s voice bellow.
Before I can respond, Poke and Horus hoist me out of bed.
“What the hell is going on?” I grumble, my eyes fluttering open, adjusting to the bright light and trying to shake off my nap haze to figure out what the hell is going on.
Garth speaks.
“Gavriel, you’re under arrest for sabotage, conspiracy and mutinous behavior. You will be confined to the brig behind a 5th tier force field until we decide your punishment. If you refuse to cooperate, you accept an immediate sentencing to death. Do you agree to cooperate with the investigation and to accept an inquiry into your suspected crimes?”
“Aye,” I respond, finding force in my voice where I didn’t expect it.
“Take him to the brig, Poke.”
“What is going on, Garth? I accept an inquiry, but I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
Garth doesn’t respond.
“Annabel! Why is this happening? It’s bad enough I get a demotion, now this?”
Annabel says nothing. Naturally. She’s not allowed to speak to a prisoner.
“Et Tu, Horus?”
He snorts as they stalk down the ship’s halls with me. I hear whispers from Junior Crewmen as they drag me to the lower decks and shove me into the brig. I’m the only prisoner in my cell. Poke activates the force field. I run into it like an idiot, yelling as the field throws me back ten feet. I land on the floor of my cell with a thud.
“Will someone tell me what the hell is going on?!”
My first thought is this is a set up or part of Garth’s plan. My next thought is that Kazim or Nova whispered suspicions into Garth’s ear. It doesn’t take long for me to realize that none of this could possibly be true. There’s a greater conspiracy here.
“Anybody?!” I yelled again. There’s a guard outside the brig but if Garth commands it, no one will talk to me. I’m toast. Worse than toast. I’ll walk the plank and die in space. Traitor’s families don’t get paid. I’m screwed.
I sit in the brig for what feels like days, but it’s less than an Odilian sleep cycle. I’m not meant to sleep in here. Bright lights from the ceiling keep me awake and ensure that the next time someone comes in here, I’m tired and desperate enough to break. Their methods might work if I knew why Garth had me locked up and what precisely they suspect me of doing.
I guess it’s obvious: Garth thinks I’m the saboteur.
But why? I’m hallucinating. Kazim’s shadow appears beyond the forcefield. I can barely make out his features. Either that or I’m sleepier than I realize.
“Kazim,” I choke out.
And I’m thirsty. The mirage crouches to my level and slides water through a small opening in the forcefield, which closes the moment he withdraws his hand. Real. Kazim’s very real and he’s brought water. I gulp it down in one swallow. Kazim remains crouching, and his voice lacks its usual infuriating levity.
“What have you done, Gavriel?”
What have I done?! I’ve done nothing! Surely Kazim understands that whatever he thinks is wrong.
“Water,” I croak out.
I can’t force my lips to produce another word. Although there’s only one other word on the tip of my tongue. Jaen. Where is she? Is she safe? Can they allow me to see her one more time before Garth sends me to my death?
“You can’t get more water,” Kazim reproaches, “Gavriel… how could you do this to us? If you told me why, perhaps I could talk to Moray.”
“Do what?”
“We saw the evidence. Don’t patronize me. Tell me the truth. Why? We were best friends.”
Are. We are best friends. I can’t bring myself to answer him. I need more water. I need time to think about what he could mean. Sure, I neglected my post, but that isn’t enough to turn Kazim so sour. Something else happened and I wish I knew what he was talking about, but I don’t have a clue.
“I’ll get you more water,” Kazim answers stiffly, “But by the time Garth comes in here, he’ll want more than claims of innocence. He already knows what you’ve done.”
“Jaen…”
“She doesn’t want to see you.”
He hands me more water and before I can thank Kazim, he leaves.
Chapter 41
See You Tonight
Jaen wants nothing to do with me. I drink water and close my eyes, but the lights are too bright and I’m famished. I’m picturing a traditional Odilian meal — something I haven’t eaten in months — fresh oysters, creamy sauce, a bowl of oat broth and cranberry syrup on the side. I picture my nieces and nephews climbing on my back, holding onto my horns as they ride on my shoulders and play pirate ship.
I won’t ever see them again. I’ll never take Jaen to the planet where my family hides between my missions. She’ll never see the warm cottage or nestle near the fire while I cook. She’ll never curl up on the old armchair Saraqael dragged from the dump and cleaned until it looked and smelled brand new. Jaen will never know how I feel about her. The truth.
Kazim returns with her. I think he’s a mirage again until I drink the water. The water lets me know he’s real. I hear Kazim murmuring to her. Bastard. He’s probably climbed into bed with her already.
“He’s delirious,” Kazim murmurs, “three days without sleep. Garth thinks it’ll take another three to break him.”
“He’s guilty then,” Jaen whispers back.
Guilty of what? What do they want me to be guilty of? Yes. Yes, I’ll admit my guilt if you let me go. I want to admit my guilt if a confession will make the lights go off. I want to sleep.
“Yes, he’s guilty. I didn’t want to believe it either, but we’ve all seen the evidence.”
Jaen’s voice grows cold.
“I don’t want to see him, then. There’s no reason for me to see him.”
“Garth ought to let him rot. He put all our lives in danger.”
“Kazim… Wait… Let Garth come in here. I’ll confess. I swear it.”
Kazim doesn’t answer, and he leaves with Jaen. I ram my body into the forcefield, screaming like a maniac. Rather, I’m screaming like a very sleep deprived Odilian. Delirious, eh? I feel worse than delirious. And I lose track of time again. I can make out the shadows of my night watch. Most of the time I don’t notice when they change. I’m too exhausted to consider escape. I wouldn’t have the strength for it.
I sit in the brig's corner and clutch my knees to my chest. There’s no one for me to talk to in here, and I need sleep. I close my eyes, bright light searing my lids, and I whisper. “Saraqael, Uriel, Raphael…”
I repeat their names. Those are the siblings I’ve lost. I’m going to join them soon because I doubt I’ll get out of this prison alive. Garth hasn’t showed his face here, and I don’t know what they’re accusing me of. I drag my body over the floor to the empty cup I drank from. Could I use this cup to end my suffering? I can’t think of any way to end my life using a cup unless I bashed it into my head repeatedly, which probably wouldn’t work to change my situation. I run my finger over the bottom and by accident feel a sticker beneath the cup. It isn’t a sticker. It’s a piece of paper. I scrape the paper free from the cup and roll the cup across the floor as I return to the relative comfort of my corner.
It’s a note.
“See you tonight. J.”
Jaen? Or perhaps Jisoo. Maybe Jisoo knows I’m innocent. She’s the last person I remember speaking to properly. She has to know I’m innocent. And as I crumple the paper, the lights power down. This confuses the guards, but the relief on my eyes renders me immediately grateful. I shut them and lean my head against the wall.
One guard says, “Is this supposed to happen?”
“I don’t know,” the other replies, “I can’t hear a thing.”
“Do you think he caused it?”
“No.”
And then the guards stop talking. Mid-conversation. At least I can get some sleep without their whispers. I hear a buzz and a whoosh. The forcefield’s down. Despite my exhaustion
, I know I have to stand. By the time I get to my feet, the forcefield’s back up, but the lights are still off. There’s something in here. Something in the dark. I can’t make it out. Days of searing bright lights have made my eyesight useless. A hand touches my cheek and I shudder.
“Jaen…”
“Did you get my note?” She whispers.
“Yes.”
“I don’t have much time,” she whispers, “Someone’s watching me. I had to pull a few strings.”
“What about the guards?”
“They’re… asleep.”
“How?!”
“I stole the Quartermaster’s duty roster to find out who worked watch and drugged them.”
“Jaen. You could get in serious trouble,” I admonish, “You could get right in here with me. And then what?”
She presses her finger to my lips. I want more than her finger against my lips. I want all of her. And I don’t want us to stop. If she’s come to break me out, I’ll run away with her. I’ll leave. It’s too late for me to win my way into Garth’s good graces.
“I know,” she whispers, “But someone’s working very hard to make everyone on this ship think you’re the saboteur. I saw the evidence. It’s convincing. It’s video evidence.”
“But you don’t believe it?”
“I know you, Gavriel. You may be stupidly romantic, but you’re no traitor.”
“Is that a compliment or an insult?”
“Both,” she replies, “But I can’t have anyone see me talking to you. You need a way off this ship and I can help.”
“No. You can’t help me. Let me walk the plank. I’ll go to trial.”
“You’ll get yourself killed!” She hisses, “So no. Tomorrow, when Garth visits you, I need you to give my name.”
“When he visits me?”
“You’ve been on pirate ships long enough. He’ll come for information.”
That’s a friendly euphemism for torture. I grimace, and I’m thankful that Jaen can’t see the crack in my tough exterior. I’ve watched the Captain torture people. I’ve helped him. This won’t be pretty.