by Enid Titan
“Don’t worry,” I growl, “It’s only a fantasy. Human females can’t get pregnant with Odilian males.”
“Are you sure?”
“99%.”
“Gavriel…”
“Spread your legs, Jaen. Now.”
She tosses her blanket aside and gives me a bewitching look, like she intends to deny me just to see what I’ll do. She’s taunting me to lose control. Jaen knows the punishment for behavior like that on Garth’s ship. I can’t. I squeeze my hands into fists.
“Legs. Open.”
“Is that how badly you want me, then?”
“Yes…”
She spreads her legs and my seed spills out of her as she gasps. I’m hard again and I need her. I lift her off the bed and press her against the wall. I hold her there with my hips as I kiss her and she kisses me back as my seed drips from her tightness. I own her. That’s what my seed dripping from her softness means. She grabs my horns and whispers, “So we have to do it again, then? You have to fuck me?”
“Yes.”
“What do you want to do to me?”
“I want… I need to get you pregnant.”
I slide my tip inside her again and she gasps.
“I don’t think I can take it again. It gets… It’s too big.”
I press my hips deeper and she moans.
“I can’t stop,” I groan, “I can’t…”
She presses her lips to my chin and then runs her finger over my lips.
“Do it, then. Get me pregnant.”
Uncontrolled alien desires meet in space, and it’s hard to say ‘no’ to the impulses that make us animals. Maybe there’s some race that’s ascended beyond the primal desire to plant seed across the universe, but neither Odilians nor humans are powerful enough to resist the urge to mate. I spread Jaen’s legs wider as I pin her to the wall and the knot in my cock tightens between her legs. As she cums hard, her juices lubricate our thighs and she nearly slips from my grasp.
I’m too strong to let her fall. I pin her to the wall tighter and slide my bulging erection between her legs, biting her as she cums hard on my cock. By the time I erupt between her legs again, she’s shuddering and begging me not to plunge into her for a third round. I need to cum again. She’s the first I’ve mated with in so long, and I can’t really get her pregnant. It’s just a fantasy.
Our parts fit, but without genetic modification, we’d never produce offspring. She tries to run before the third time, to buy time. I grab her and kiss her, getting on my knees and licking her soft mound clean before pinning her to the bed facedown and taking her human wetness from behind. As I mount her from behind and the tight knot forms, I can feel the bed from inside her tightness and I groan as I move my hips behind her.
She cums harder as I take her from behind, and when I fill her with my seed a third time, she nearly faints in my arms. By the time we’re finished, we both drip with sweat. I lick her neck, tasting the faint arousal left on her skin. She’s mine. I grab her body and pull her against mine. I know I ought to let her go. If we’re caught here, we’ll be in trouble. It’s been hours. And we’ve been loud. And no one has caught us yet.
“I love you, Jaen,” I murmur, “I love you.”
Chapter 59
High On Hormones
She’s gone in the morning. Now that I’m not high on my own hormones, I worry that she’s gone. I said I loved her. She disappeared. Kazim’s done the same to his half a thousand floozies over the years. I have duty with Kazim in the dome after I awaken, so I can’t give much thought to Jaen. And that she ran from me.
We’re getting closer to our salvage site and we’re on the verge of entering the most dangerous part of space. Kazim analyzes trace elements so we can find the best route through space. At Helios, Garth traded information about this part of space with one of Saroyan’s men so we can find the confederates’ latest routes and avoid any other ships. With a saboteur on board, we may not survive another battle. And we must land the ship.
Kazim’s crankier than usual on the dome.
“I understand Annabel’s mentally unhinged, but she ought to let Connie out. I don’t care if she shot the hull herself, we need an engineer or we’ll never make it.”
“The second engineer’s not bad.”
“Nova found her holding a proton blaster between her teeth yesterday.”
“Doesn’t she know she could blast her jaw to smithereens? I don’t think Jaen can fix melted jaws yet.”
“Exactly. She’s stupid. I don’t know why Garth hired her. She’s great in the sack, but thick.”
“Is there anyone on this ship you haven’t slept with?”
“Is there anyone you have?”
“Shut up…”
“Holy shit. You two have finally done it. I thought I’d grow grey hair before you two got into it.”
“Can you shut up, Kazim? We have work to do.”
Kazim snorts.
“You aren’t even working! You’re researching… shapeshifters? What the hell is this?”
Shit. I should have dimmed my screen. Kazim will never let this go.
“I’m researching shapeshifters.”
“Why? They’re extinct.”
“Perhaps they aren’t.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. If there’s one thing we know about the Confederacy, they leave no stone unturned.”
“Yet there are thousands of pirate ships in this sector of space.”
“They need us. For symbolism. And yes, if they wanted to wipe us out, they could.”
I grumble that Kazim sounds sure of himself and he elbows me. Hard.
“What are you insinuating, then? Some shapeshifter escaped decades of confederate pogroms and foolishly remained in this sector and then hopped aboard this ship to sabotage our last mission as a crew.”
“It isn’t more likely than a simple traitor,” I respond, feeling rather foolish that Kazim appeared to upend my theory so easily.
“Exactly. But… it might be worth looking into. There are always outliers.”
“Aye.”
Kazim leans over my shoulder and stares at my research. As quickly as he locks in, he forgets that he ought to be focused and he grins.
“Jaen. You slept with Jaen. Finally.”
“I don’t need to revise the details of my sex life with you.”
“Aha! There’s a sex life then!”
I thought we’d already gone over this, but Kazim’s insistent.
“Tell me everything. Did she cry?”
“Why on earth would she cry?”
“You’re quiet… if men are anything like women, the quiet ones are always the sex freaks.”
“I’m not a damned sex freak. Now shut it or your next shift I’ll have you cleaning the bilge tanks.”
“Fine. If you don’t talk to me, I’ll ask Jaen. Then she’ll know you’re a dirty little fucker who kisses and tells.”
I push Kazim up against the wall and press my forearm against his neck.
“Talk to Jaen about sex and I’ll make sure you never have it again.”
He grasps at my forearm and laughs.
“Aye. Let go of me. Your secret is safe.”
I relax my grip.
“As long as you tell me the details,” Kazim finishes.
I want to throw him up against the wall again, but what’s the point? I try to avoid getting too detailed. Kazim doesn’t need to know what happens in the bedroom — especially because the pervert will probably replay the scenes in his head later.
I give him the basics of how we got into bed together. And then I let it slip. The three words I told Jaen. Kazim’s face falls.
“You told Jaen Nabokov that you loved her?”
“Yes. I love her. Why should I hold it back?”
Kazim thumps me on the back.
“Sorry, mate. I hope you enjoyed it because that will be the last time you sleep with her.”
“What?”
“She’s skittish and you�
�ve scared her off. Don’t worry. At least you had one night together. Cherish it, my friend. Cherish it.”
Chapter 60
Emergency
I don’t have a second to argue with Kazim because the ship’s alarm system goes off and Annabel’s voice comes over the intercom.
“There’s been a breach in the brig. Kazim, Gavriel, get over there. I’m sending a team. Nova’s on duty. We think Connie might have escaped.”
We leave banter behind to lunge into action. We get to the brig with our blasters first, though we can hardly be the closest on guard. Everyone in the ship’s mobilized to defend the corridors in case Connie plans on causing more damage as she escapes. The brig doors slide open.
“NOVA!”
Kazim runs in where she’s lying on the ground. She groans, so at least she’s only unconscious. He holds her to his chest, pressing his face into her dark hair and begging her to wake up and tell him something. I run for the brig’s forcefield, but it’s still up. And Connie’s still in her cell. Sleeping. False alarm?
“Connie?”
I let down the forcefield and enter her cell. Connie Baharozian isn’t asleep. She’s dead.
“Kazim,” I utter hoarsely, searching for a pulse on her wrist and finding none. Nova sits up and mutters something to Kazim. He kisses her. Once she can support her own weight on her elbows, he runs over to me and presses his fingers to her neck.
“She’s dead,” he mutters.
Nova stumbles over to us with dimmed wings.
“I remember the doors opening, but that’s it. Someone cracked me on the back of the head really hard.”
Annabel’s voice snaps over our intercom system.
“Quartermaster, report?”
“Connie’s dead, Captain.”
“Dead? How the bloody hell did that happen?”
I wince as I hear Poke swear. Connie. Oh, Connie. She wouldn’t express her anger with a simple “bloody hell” not when she could add fifteen more colorful words into the mix. Connie won’t ever concoct another compilation of colorful phrases like that again.
“Someone knocked Nova out,” Kazim says. I can tell he’s ready to defend Nova if Poke blames her, but Annabel doesn’t.
“How long has she been dead?”
“Not long. Her body’s still warm,” I whisper.
“No doctor. No engineer. How the hell are we going to make it to the site in one piece.”
“I can take over as ship’s engineer,” Nova says.
It feels cruel having this conversation about Connie’s replacement when her body isn’t cold. Kazim turns her onto her back and shuts her eyes.
“Peace, Connie,” he murmurs, “We’ll see each other again in the next life.”
Nova squeezes his hand and bites back tears as it hits her we’ve lost another one of our senior staff. We’ve been through so much together and while losing Xanth hurt in one sense, Connie’s loss feels entirely different. I slip my hand into Nova’s and she allows herself to let out a small sob.
Poke leaves Jisoo in command and comes to the brig to survey the scene. Two on Nova’s watch died and Kazim diagnoses Nova with a mild concussion, which she insists she can work through — thrice — before remembering that she’s told us before. Her prognosis isn’t great. She can’t stand for long periods of time without getting dizzy and working the engine room involves a lot more running around and dangling from pipes holding dangerous tools than it does standing.
“Poke. We need to talk.”
Poke ignores me and prattles off commands. She sends Kazim and Horus to sick bay with Connie’s body so we can have a funeral tomorrow morning. She sends Nova to sick bay and then down to the engine room. Connie was in prison, so technically someone else has carried out her duties, but at least her first replacement could come to her with questions. Nobody knows this ship better than Connie.
I wonder how Garth would feel if he knew we’d lost her too. I can’t help but think this is sabotage too. But why? Kazim makes a fair point about both a shapeshifter and a saboteur. It makes little sense for either to end up on this ship on our last journey. They’d gain nothing from killing all of us.
But since Connie’s dead, it seems pressing. I need to tell Annabel what Connie suspected before she died. If the saboteur knows Connie told me, I could be the next member of the senior crew stabbed in the back. Once the brig’s empty, Poke shuts the doors, engages a manual lock and silences all the intercom systems. We need privacy.
“I know I need to be tough right now,” she confesses, “But I don’t feel tough. I’m the first mate on this ship because Garth can count on me for support. I’m not meant to do this alone.”
“You’re doing a fine job. And Kazim advises you well.”
“It’s not the same. I work with Garth. I keep asking myself what he would do in my position. Nova was on shift when Connie died. Perhaps she knows something. She’s an angry person.”
“We’re all angry people,” I mutter, thrusting my hands in my pockets.
Annabel sighs.
“That doesn’t help. I know.”
“Before she died, Connie suspected a shapeshifter. She told me.”
“What?! Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
Annabel tries to remain calm, but her hand flies to her holster. Our paranoia and suspicions will be the death of us if we don’t get it all under control.
“Because it’s farfetched.”
“Far fetched?!”
Annabel lets it register for a while, and then she shrugs.
“I suppose I wouldn’t have believed you.”
“Do you believe me now?”
“I’m not sure. Shapeshifters are extinct.”
“In our sector of space.”
“Our sector of space is pretty large. The confederacy is thorough.”
“That’s what I figured.”
I think it unwise to tell her I shared my theory with Kazim before her. She’s my Captain and I owed it to her to tell her earlier.
“Research. I want a report by tomorrow. If the confederates could hunt them down and get rid of them decades ago, we ought to find one on this ship.”
“Nobody knows much about them.”
“Dig deeper. Talk to whoever you have to for information.”
“Do you think I ought to contact Saroyan?”
Annabel’s brow knits together, and her expression darkens. We’d never considered that one day we might have to tell the Baharozian brothers that their sister died. Connie always seemed… resilient.
“Send messages to both of them.”
I do as I’m told, sending messages of condolences to both brothers and asking for information. Neither Haig nor Saroyan have any reason to help, and if I hadn’t triple encrypted the messages, they’d likely use them to track our location and board our ship. I’ve seen enough of the Baharozian brothers face to face.
We have Connie’s funeral the next morning. It’s too sad. I leave halfway through to relieve the junior crew on duty at helm. I can’t stop thinking about Helios. Our last time partying together before our last journey. No one expected this journey to end up like this.
It should have been simple.
Nothing’s ever simple when you’re a pirate. We all should have figured that out by now.
Poke tightens her grip on the crew which means I haven’t seen Jaen since I said I loved her. Two days pass since Connie’s funeral. I don’t even see her in passing. If I didn’t know better, I’d think she was avoiding me on purpose.
Maybe Kazim’s right. I fucked things up between us. At least I’ll have that night with her. That one magical night.
Chapter 61
Good News
A better man would let Jaen walk away. She can make her own choices. And if love is too much for her, if she’d run because space is too dangerous and love is worse than free-falling untethered off the side of a spaceship, a better man wouldn’t fault her. But with Jaen, I’ll never be the better man.
&nb
sp; I’m selfish. I want her to myself and now I’ve had her, I won’t let her go so easily. I won’t let her slip through my fingers. I’m too fucked up. I’ve had too many failed lovers and we’ve all let space rip us apart. I want my hands on her hips and her lips on my neck and I don’t care if Annabel catches us and makes me walk the plank.
I wake up and dress intending to break the ship’s curfew and enter sick bay to see Jaen. I’ll tell her how I feel and I don’t care if comatose Garth Moray hears what I have to tell her. She can’t run away from me. Or this. It’s taken us long enough to end up together. Now that Connie’s dead, it’s clear that life on this ship is too fragile and living with regrets might be hard, but it’s even harder to die with them.
Before I leave, my intercom flashes green. I assume it’s Annabel before I answer.
“Gavriel,” Jaen gasps, “I need you in sick bay. Now.”
“What’s happened? Is there an intruder?”
“No. Garth Moray’s awake. Our Captain’s awake.”
My heart stops. She sounds so excited that I can’t help feeling momentarily jealous. It’s him, isn’t it? Captain Moray is the reason she can’t say she loves me. Despite the tightening in my chest and my hands unconsciously balling into angry fists, my duty to the ship comes before my feelings. I tell Poke. And before long, the senior crew crowds into sickbay. Jaen, our makeshift doctor, wears Xanth’s white coat — the shroud of ancient healers, a tradition no one in this sector but Xanth stuck to. I wonder if his smell lingers on the coat and if Jaen lingers in his smell.
Damn it. Why am I so jealous? I have no right to be. She promised me she couldn’t love. She promised me loving her wouldn’t work, but I had to love her, didn’t I? I had to fall in love with the impossible, flawed and feisty human girl. I must be insane to love her. Garth groans and stares at us with greater confusion.
“I hope you don’t all overwhelm him,” Jaen whispers, brushing his dark hair away from his green face. She doesn’t quite have Xanth’s commanding authority or bedside manner, but Garth says her name first.