by Enid Titan
“Don’t… Gavriel…”
I remove my fingers from her tightness and split my tongue in two to lick the juices off.
“Taste yourself, female,” I snarl.
She gingerly sticks her tongue out and I thrust my fingers into her mouth. Her lips tighten and she gives me a little nibble with her teeth. I grab her cheeks and press her forehead to mine.
“Yes,” I growl, “I’m very angry. But I can’t stop myself.”
“Then don’t,” she whispers, “Fuck me, Gavriel. Hard.”
She knows exactly the right words to make my current condition worse. My cock is so hard and I glide into her snug entrance like a hot knife gliding through butter. She whimpers and digs her nails into my back. My growls are louder as I rut between her legs, preparing my gorgeous human female for another sopping seeding from her mate.
“Cum for me,” I groan, “now…”
Chapter 65
Never Come Back
I wake up halfway through my sleep cycle and she’s still there.
“Jaen,” I whisper and kiss her forehead. Our night ended intensely. She liked angry sex and made an impish vow to get me angry whenever she needed a senselessly passionate fuck. I grimaced. My lack of control around her embarrassed me. I wanted to stay in control around her.
“I’m going to see Garth,” I whisper, “I can’t stop thinking about the shapeshifter theory. I’d like to get research done since we’re almost at the salvage site.”
Jaen murmurs and kisses me back. I slide the door to my quarters open after I’ve slipped into trousers and a tunic. We’re parked for the night, so chances are the party rages below and that’s where I’ll find Garth. I turn the corner and then I see her standing in the hallway. Jaen Nabokov.
No. That’s impossible. She’s in my bedroom. I kissed her. She was asleep. The Jaen standing in the hallway looks the other way. When a shapeshifter morphs, they keep the form and function of the creature they assimilate. I can move softer than a human can hear. I hurry back to my room with a pounding heart and when the doors slide open, Jaen’s still there. Asleep. I tap on the intercom.
“What is it?” Garth’s drunken voice slurs.
“Garth,” I whisper, “I caught sight of the shapeshifter.”
“Eh? Boy, take the night off! I saw you disappearing with Jaen… Have your way with her! Plenty more females in space!”
The intercom goes dead. Either Garth accidentally hung up on me, or the old lunk is too drunk to do the sensible thing. I’m no longer groggy. I turn the corner and see Jaen standing next to a panel. She notices me and smiles. I know it isn’t Jaen, but my body can’t help having the standard response to her. I can’t let this creature know that I can tell the difference. That Jaen’s in my bed.
“Jaen. Where did you go?”
“I’m right here, silly.”
Jaen would never call me “silly”.
“We fought,” I grumble, “I hate when we fight.”
“It’s not a good time, Gavriel. We fought for a reason.”
Liar. This creature is good.
“It’s a good time for me. Come on. Let’s go back to the party.”
“No!”
Her eyes meet mine and there’s a look of recognition behind her glassy irises. Or a lack thereof.
“I know what you are.”
The creature hisses and turns into a vaporous cloud of odorous black smoke. I reach for my weapon, but it’s too late. The creature’s gone and I didn’t have my weapon. My mouth is dry. I call Poke on the intercom. She’s slightly less drunk than Garth.
“This had better be urgent,” she groans.
“I saw the shapeshifter.”
“Shit! What happened?!”
“It got away. What do you want me to do?”
“The Captain’s passed out. Jisoo just got here, she’s taking him up to bed.”
“In the morning then.”
“I’ll double up the guards around engineering and our supplies. I told Garth a party was a bad idea.”
“Maybe he knows what he’s doing.”
Poke snorts in disbelief but catches herself. In our circles, mutiny is a taboo subject to even suggest.
“He’s our Captain,” she whispers, “I trust him.”
“Aye. We’ll speak with him tomorrow. I’m heading back to bed.”
Back in my quarters, Jaen’s awake.
“Where did you go?” she whispers.
I sit at the foot of my bed and pull her close to me.
“I saw the shapeshifter.”
She wraps her arms around me and kisses my shoulder.
“In a dream?”
“No. In the hallway. It took… your shape. But I knew I’d left you in here. I don’t think I’ll get back to bed.”
“We’re close to the salvage site. If the saboteur wanted us all dead, couldn’t they have done it by now?”
“They’ve killed our doctor and engineer. Maybe the creature wants to take us out one by one.”
“That’s inefficient.”
“It’s staring me right in the face,” I murmur, “I hate that I can’t figure it out.”
Jaen tugs on my tunic until I’m facing her.
“We’re all trying our best. Especially you.”
“Hm.”
I can’t look at her right now. Even after our intense night and her apology, I can’t help but prickle with anger when she touches me. She’s only here out of pity, I tell myself. She’s only here to assuage her boredom and to ensure she has a savage protector in the isolated expanse. She doesn’t love me and she can’t love me. She won’t.
“Are you still upset?” She whispers.
“I’d do anything for you, Jaen,” I whisper.
“I know that.”
“But I can’t keep doing this if you don’t love me. You were right. This journey’s nearly over. And even if we make it out alive, I need more than this. This was my last mission. Ever. I want to settle down. I want to get married someday. I want… children.”
“How can you want all of that in this sector? We live in a nightmare? Children?”
“The universe is harsh, aye. But having children makes it better. You have a family. People to care for. People to live for.”
“Gavriel…”
“I understand. You don’t want that.”
“You’re pushing me,” she snaps, rising to her feet and getting dressed.
“How am I pushing you? We hardly have any time to figure this out.”
“Sorry if I’m not over the moon to run off and live with you on some mystery planet when we hardly know each other.”
“Hardly know each other?” I growl, standing up and trying to ignore the blood rushing to my head.
How the hell can Jaen say this?
“I’ve mated you. Hardly know each other?”
“We’ve had sex. It doesn’t mean you get to boss me around and proclaim your love for me!”
“I’m not bossing you around.”
“You’ve known who I was from the minute you met me. I told you I wanted nothing like this.”
“I don’t care about what either of us want. I care about how we feel.”
“Don’t you get it, Gavriel? How we feel doesn’t matter. We live in a time and place where either of us could drop dead at a moment’s notice. Love doesn’t matter. What matters is staying alive.”
“I love you. And I know what matters. I would sacrifice everything to keep you safe, and I’ve done it before. I know you’d do the same for me. So just admit it.”
“Admit what?” she seethes.
“Admit that you love me, Jaen. Say the words. Make a bloody commitment. Or walk out of here and never come back.”
Chapter 66
I Need This To Make Sense
In the morning, Garth calls me to his quarters.
“I’ve changed the duty rosters and I’m nursing one hell of a hangover, so don’t you dare argue with me, Gavriel.”
“I haven�
��t said anything.”
“You’re on engineering duty today with Jaen. Kazim’s found an empty space corridor we can punch through and get to the planet early.”
“Lucky.”
“It might be a trap. Either way, we need to be ready for anything and we’ll need more power. I want the cells running at 130%. Jaen will help you make the modifications.”
“I’d rather make them on my own.”
Garth grunts.
“I told you not to argue with me.”
“I’m not arguing. The human will only slow me down. She doesn’t have the experience I need.”
Garth smirks. I sullenly turn my head away from his gaze. I don’t need Garth Moray thinking he knows anything about me and Jaen.
“She did what she always does, doesn’t she?” Garth grumbles, “You’re too smart to let her push you away, right?”
He thumps me on the back.
“I can finish the work faster alone.”
“I disagree. We need two people on every shift to monitor each other. Annabel told me what you saw last night. And Gavriel? I’m sorry. I caused you a lot of pain. I should have trusted you.”
“Someone’s going far out of their way to fool us.”
“Unless they kill us all now, they won’t succeed.”
Garth’s behavior is an infuriating mixture of glib and calm. There’s a real chance someone might kill us. I can’t joke about it. I attempt to convince him out of assigning me engineering duty with Jaen, but he won’t budge. I storm out of his office toward engineering. Despite the encounter with the shapeshifter, I’m not scared of it. Whoever or whatever that creature is, I’m a bigger threat during the day.
When I walk into engineering, Jaen’s sorting bolts and alloy chips while Bonbon sits on her shoulder eating a wafer. She glances up at me and then scowls.
“Why did you assign yourself to duty with me?”
“I didn’t.”
“I don’t want to talk to you right now, Gavriel.”
I’ve been stupid, I know that. I shouldn’t have given her an ultimatum. She’s scared. Any woman who’s lived out here long enough would be. The confederacy and most of the pirate ships aren’t known to treat women kindly. Some ships still kill all women they encounter. Older ships with older gentlemen who still bear the wounds of our proprietors’ torture would keep a girl like Jaen until they tired of her. Then she’d die. It’s no surprise a woman out here wouldn’t trust a man like me.
“I want to talk.”
“Work. We have a time limit.”
She storms off and we keep working together in silence. It hurts. It’s like the first time we worked together, but I know her silence means she loathes me. Before the next shift comes on, I have to say something.
“I was too harsh.”
“Yes, you were,” she snaps.
“I care about you, Jaen.”
“I know.”
“That’s it. I care. I don’t understand why you hate me for that.”
“I don’t hate you, idiot!”
“You called me an idiot.”
“I keep telling you this is hard for me and you act all stupid and romantic and we have sex and it makes everything so fucking hard!”
“Now you’re yelling at me for being in love with you!”
“It doesn’t make sense!”
“It doesn’t have to make sense!” I roar back.
“Yes, it does! Because I lost everything. I’ve lost every person I ever cared about, including Garth. And I told myself I was finished. I’d never love another person again. I couldn’t bear it. And then you… You’re so stupid! You’re this big, stupid, hot, attractive male and you could have ten times the girls Kazim has. But you want me… the quiet girl, the freak, the girl who stabbed you. I can’t believe you would want me. And I don’t know why I want you…”
She trembles and I wrap my arms around her. She tries to pull away. She doesn’t want me to see her like this. Vulnerable. I squeeze her tighter.
“I love you, Gavriel,” She whispers, “I risked my life to save you and I’d do it again. I’ve loved you for a long time. But I thought… I don’t want to be your entertainment on a space voyage.”
I press my nose into her curls and hold her against me. I never want to let go of her. I never want her to think for a moment that my love for her is anything but authentic.
“You are not my entertainment. You could never be anything that simple to me.”
“What if we don’t make it? What if one of us doesn’t make it? We’re nearly there. The mission could go… wrong.”
“I won’t let anything happen to you,” I murmur, “I won’t lose you again.”
“Good,” she whispers, “Because I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“And after this, I’ll show you my planet. And if you hate it, we’ll steal a ship and run across the galaxy until we get out of the confederate sectors.”
She giggles and kisses my cheek.
“That would be a suicide mission. Confederate citizens don’t leave our sector. The border’s too well guarded.”
“Fine,” I concede, “We’ll find another planet. I will do whatever it takes to make you happy Jaen.”
Chapter 67
Salvage Site
We arm ourselves before the landing. We’re earlier than we expected, and space around the salvage site is clear. While we’re here, there will be a five day solar storm, only dangerous if a flare reaches the planet’s surface. From our safe landing spot, it’s a 3 day hike to the salvage site. We must work hard and fast and keep any signals from the planet scrambled until we’re through. Garth picked this site for a reason.
Few crews have the stamina of a Moray crew to make it through a hike like this. There’s critical data here he’s promised to share with Saroyan and Haig, although I don’t believe either of them have Garth’s trust. He’s certain Saroyan is somehow involved with the sabotage. I don’t have to point out the illogic in that thought. Saroyan’s sister died. He might have loathed Connie, but if he wanted her dead, he would have had her dead. No, our saboteur’s among us, and it’s someone we trust. Someone close.
Garth has me and Jaen on engineering for the landing. If our saboteur wanted us dead, the landing would be the best time to kill us. We all get the sense we’re headed to our deaths. Like this will be our last voyage for all the wrong reasons. As we approach the salvage site, we feel Connie’s absence. And Xanth’s. Jaen doesn’t dare admit she misses him. I know they were only friends, and she only entertained his feelings not to hurt him. But I can’t help feel envious. I want to make it off the salvage planet alive and take her away from here to safety.
Our landing is rough. I’m no replacement for Connie in the engine room and Kazim’s exhausted from overwork. Humans have a poor capacity for time without sleep. We land the ship cautiously in a clearing of trees felled by our sonic boom. We must cross into the desert after our first day of hiking together, and survival will become that much tougher. Without Xanth to treat dehydration or encounters with wild animals, we may end up in serious trouble. Garth reminds us we have to prepare for anything. There’s a reason this site has been here for seven years and no crew has made it out alive before. That doesn’t worry most of us. We’ve been on several missions like this. Garth gets us tough, so he doesn’t have to toughen us in space. We’re all hard workers, and Garth runs a tighter ship than most. We’re not here to get drunk, or because we enjoy killing and sex slaves. We’re here because we have families to look after, people we care about. And we’ve lost enough that we’re willing to take the risk and turn pirate, knowing the punishment.
I’ve organized the crews by fitness and efficiency. Kazim leads the alpha crew. Poke leads the beta crew. Nova heads up the gamma crew. Garth sticks with the gamma crew and I help Poke with the beta crew. Jaen’s in the gamma crew. I think Poke didn’t want her in the beta crew. They still have a testy and uncomfortable relationship. Poke thinks Jaen’s the shapeshifter whi
ch makes about as much sense as Garth thinking Connie had anything to do with this. She’s the one who suggested the shapeshifter. Without her, we might not have known what we were looking for. Our scans turned nothing up. A trap didn’t work, and since my sighting, we haven’t seen the creature. It could be anyone.
Just by looking, I couldn’t tell she wasn’t Jaen. Not at first. That made this creature dangerous. Garth refused to worry, and since we’d made it to the salvage site, he determined that the saboteur accepted their failure. For a man who nearly made his Quartermaster walk the plank, I expected more from him. If I didn’t know better, I’d think someone got into his head.
We set up camp the first night. The gamma crew helps Licker prepare food for everyone out of foraged goods and small game. We carry little food on intense salvage missions. It makes it easier to run if things get hard. This time when assigned crew members to tents, I assigned Jaen to mine. Since our argument, we’d never been better. Once I cashed in my earnings, I’d bring her back to the planet, introduce her to my family and… retire. I’d start a shop on the planet, maybe. Or a small café. Or a love hotel.
Jaen hikes over to her tent. Our tent. She doesn’t know it’s ours yet. I’m grinning and holding the flap open.
“Welcome home, Jane.”
“What are you doing here?”
“We’re sleeping in the same tent. Supper’s nearly ready.”
“You assigned us to the same tent?” She hisses.
“Problem?”
“I didn’t want to announce our relationship to the entire ship.”
I’m grinning, even if she’s caged-off and pouting with her tiny human lips.
“It’s not an announcement. And relationship?”
“Shut up.”
“How would you describe our relationship?” I tease.
“Really annoyed girl and stupid tall sexy alien.”