by Enid Titan
There are dozens of the creatures. They’re large, the size of dogs, but with eight legs each. Spiders. Oh, I hate spiders. There’s a figure forming from the plume of smoke and then the creature descends, floating slowly to the earth, taking a form I never thought I’d see again. It couldn’t be possible.
“Connie…” I gasp hoarsely, readying my weapon to shoot her.
“I finally grasped this form again after your crew killed my first body. I escaped, but it took me ages to heal from the wounds…”
“Connie? No!”
“I’m not Connie. Connie’s on her brother’s ship. Saroyan has his sister, and I have freed him in exchange. My daughter and I were racing before she fucked it all up.”
Good guys always warn the villains before they shoot. They give them a chance to make amends. It’s a good thing I’m not one of the good guys. I shoot. Connie’s form fades and the blast doesn’t harm her. Shapeshifters are difficult to kill. Now I remember. I’ve shot her and it didn’t work, so I’m the one who has to keep talking now.
“Our crew didn’t kill Connie. That was the other shapeshifter.”
“That backstabbing little bitch. She wanted to punish me. Fine, it was her. But I blame you. I told her killing you all would be easier. She insisted most of you had to survive. She insisted Moray had to survive. Like he’d ever love her after knowing her true form.”
“Jisoo…”
“My daughter… She didn’t know what she was until recently. She didn’t know I’d survived. I haven’t always been the best mummy…”
“Where is she?”
“Not telling! She’s doing what I’ve asked, doing what shapeshifters have always done. Playing games with our prey.”
“I’m not here to argue with you, Gavriel. I’m here to distract you while my daughter gets to the salvage first. There’s information about us on those ships, information that could destroy our plans. They’ve always known we would come back here, but we have to make sure no more pirates ever do.”
“We have no quarrel with you.”
“We have no quarrel with you either. We needed your crew to get here and we’re grateful. But we needed you weak. My daughter will have what she needs and we can live here in peace and rebuild and then wipe every humanoid off the face of the galaxy…”
“We’ll leave the information. It’s not valuable.”
“Ah, but now you know that it is. Don’t forget, I had a pirate’s body for a few weeks. I know how you think.”
“We know what it’s like to be the confederacy’s victims. We mean you no harm. We want our money. We’re not killers.”
“I won’t stand here and argue about the valor of pirates. I’m only here to delay you, so my daughter can reach the salvage first.”
She giggles and adds
“Oh, and I get to do this. I never expected you to work it out. I always heard Odilians were dull. Sexy. But stupid.”
She raises her hands to her chest and a giant ball of energy forms between her fingertips. Electricity cackles and her hands shoot out — the ball of energy hits me in the chest and I black out.
Chapter 71
Instinctive Knowledge of Death
I’m dying. It’s instinctive for Odilians to know. We feel different when we’re dying. Injuries are easy. Well, relatively. Death feels final. I can see everything they promised I’d see. Swirls of purple light like the oceans on our home planet. I can smell fresh snow and pines like the ones in the Eastern forests. I can taste my mother’s baked honey candies on the base of my tongue. I can smell my lover’s warmth like she’s near me.
“Jaen… I’m dying…”
“He’s in terrible shape,” I hear a voice that isn’t Jaen’s, “We need to get him back to camp.”
“We don’t have a doctor, he’s not going to make it.”
“We have to try.”
The only female who could lift me easily, dearest Poke, lifts me off the ground with a grunt.
“Lay off the rations, fat-ass,” she grumbles bitterly as she groans and drags me back to camp. I lose consciousness again and awaken to the bitter smell of spirits and a probe’s whirring sound.
“He won’t survive the night,” Garth says.
“We don’t have a doctor! You can’t say that!” Annabel. But no Jaen.
“They didn’t put up much of a fight. I fired on them and most of them scattered. They may have numbers, but they haven’t taken humanoid form in years. There are only two we need to worry about.”
Garth grumbles, “One of those two just killed our quartermaster.”
I hear the loud sound of flesh hitting flesh. Everyone gasps. Nova says her name.
“Jaen…” she gasps.
“Don’t you dare pronounce him dead! He’s alive. I stood by you for weeks in your coma and the second Gavriel’s hurt you’re ready to abandon him. I swear, Garth, I knew you were a horrible boyfriend, but I didn’t know you were a horrible Captain too.”
Nova pipes up, “She didn’t mean that.”
“I MEANT IT!” Jaen yells, “Gavriel has worked his ass off this entire journey. He’s cared about every single one of you. If you leave him here to die, you’ll have to…”
She stomps across the Earth some more.
“Take my knife,” she hisses, “And kill me. Because that’s what you’ll have to do for me to agree to this.”
“Do not kill her!” Nova shrieks, “She doesn’t know what she’s saying. Jaen, get back here!”
Garth drops the knife. I try to interject, but my voice only comes out a low groan. And then my chest tightens and I can’t breathe. My eyes roll back into my head. Garth’s right. I won’t survive into the night and because I’m dying, Jaen might die too.
“Jaen…” I whisper, although it must be hours later because it’s quiet. And so dark. But she whispers back.
“I’m here, Gavriel. Don’t die on me. Please, don’t die on me…”
Jaen wins. Stupid girl. I awaken in the middle of the night to feel a cool washcloth pressing against my forehead.
“They’re coming back,” she whispers, “We only have to make it two days.”
“Stupid girl,” I groan.
“If I left you behind, you’d die.”
“Now we’ll both die.”
I’m unconscious again until I feel fingers rutting about in my hair and scrambling over my horns. Not fingers. Bonbon’s tiny paws paving a way between the loose white curls. I groan and the little hedgehog squeaks as I shift my head. I hope I haven’t crushed him. An eternity later, Jaen tips water into my mouth. I spit it out and she holds my cheeks together, pouring it in.
“You need to drink water. You can make it, but you have to want to live.”
She’s wrong. It’s too late. I’m half dead already.
“Funny,” I reply hoarsely, my speech slow and slurred, “You nearly killed me once.”
“Quiet,” she murmurs, kissing the top of my forehead, “Rest.”
“The wound’s gone septic,” I groan, “I can tell. There’s nothing you can do.”
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you wanted to die.”
She storms off and I’m left alone, but I can’t rest like she wants me to. The shock’s worn off, and the pain keeps me awake. I can’t tell where she’s stormed off to, but I worry she isn’t coming back. I stare at the sky, lying on my back and waiting to hear her footsteps. She must be far off if I can’t hear her.
“Jaen…” I groan.
Nothing. I don’t recognize the sky here. The stars are too red, and it’s too brightly lit for the middle of the night. I miss home the most when I look at the stars. It’s disarming to see a night sky that doesn’t belong to you. I hear Jaen returning from wherever she’s gone. She approaches me and squats on the ground, fidgeting with some medical probe.
“What are you doing?”
“I ran back to the ship.”
“Impossible,” I groan, “You would have had to run.”
“I
did.”
“You aren’t covered in sweat.”
“Wrong. I smell horrendous. I pinned my hair up it’s so sweaty.”
“I love your hair,” I murmur.
“I’d love if you stayed alive. I’m going to try something I learned from Xanth. It’ll either vaporize you or eliminate deep tissue bacteria. One or the other.”
I cough and my chest hurts so badly that I cry out again.
“Vaporize me?!” I squeal, “Pardon me, Jaen, but I’d rather die with a body.”
“Wow. I haven’t heard anyone parrot such an ancient, superstitious notion.”
“Get used to it. Odilians are both ancient and superstitious.”
“You don’t look ancient.”
“I’m only 26!”
She smirks.
“Ready?”
“No! I’m not ready!”
“Calm down, Gavriel,” she sighs, leaning over me, looming like a horrifying plague doctor, “It won’t hurt. Trust me.”
She presses the probe to my stomach, and I scream. But the pain doesn’t come. She murmurs, “I think it’s working.”
I feel better within a few minutes, but I’m getting colder with my tunic off. Jaen’s sitting near our campfire, armed and staring into the flames. I wonder if she thinks about her family. When I see fire, I think about mine.
“Jaen…” I whisper, “Could you bring me a tunic?”
She turns around slowly and nods. She’s gorgeous. Her hair smells like sweat and her gorgeous skin. Her hips sway as she walks over to me and I can’t help but yearn for her, even if I’m in too much pain to stand up on my own.
“It worked,” she says as she hands me a shirt, “You’ll heal. But I don’t know if you’ll be ready to make it to the ship alone.”
“We only need to survive one more day here,” I murmur, “If all goes well, they’ll be back tomorrow.”
“And if all doesn’t go well?”
I groan as the shirt scrapes the tender part of my chest. But at least it’s on.
“We run for our lives.”
“You’re in no condition to run,” she reminds me. Like the pain isn’t enough of a reminder.
“You’ll run for your life, then. Take an escape pod. Break atmosphere. I’ll give you the coordinates to my planet…”
She places her hands on her hips and sighs.
“It is so hard not to slap you sometimes.”
“What did I say?!”
“I don’t need the coordinates to your planet because we’re going to make it out of here alive. Together. Don’t you get it, Gavriel? I chose you. I sacrificed… my share. After this mission, I get nothing.”
“Why would you do such a ridiculous thing?”
“Because… Even if space is a shitty, terrifying place where people would sell their own mothers for credits and do worse for freedom, there are some things more important than treasure.”
“Like me?”
She scowls.
“I hate when you give me that cocky little smirk.”
“I beg to differ, Jaen,” I murmur, leaning over her and kissing the top of her forehead, wincing throughout, “I believe you’re smitten with it.”
“Shut up,” She whispers.
“I want you tonight,” I murmur, “But if I take you, I think I’d collapse on top of you.”
“We wouldn’t want that.”
“Aye. We wouldn’t. So we’ll have to stand guard then and remain… chaste.”
She hands me a blaster.
“Are you sure you can handle holding this up?”
I wince, but I manage to hold the blaster up. I don’t think I’d have the strength to handle the kickback.
“This might not go as well as I hope.”
“I hope we don’t have to shoot anything.”
“Aye.”
“I can’t believe Jisoo would do this. She’s… I thought she was your friend.”
“So did I.”
“And Connie… you came all that way to rescue me, but you could have rescued her too. She’s out there somewhere… the real Connie.”
“At least she’s with her brother,” I mutter.
We both know there’s little difference between death and serving on Saroyan’s ship. He’s the worst kind of pirate. Jaen rests her head on my shoulders. She doesn’t want to, but she can’t help but fall asleep.
Chapter 72
Death Comes For Me
Jaen finally awakens, and we trade off the night shift. I don’t want to fall asleep but she insists I try. I’m weak from my wounds and I need as much healing as possible. She gives me painkillers which remove my choice in the matter and I have an inappropriately deep and more inappropriately restful night. It’s rare to feel guilt over a good night’s sleep but when my eyes groggily flutter open, I yawn slowly and then Jaen’s piercing scream crashes into my brain and I’m wide awake.
“JAEN!”
I groan as I stand up. I don’t have to look far. Jisoo. She has her arm around Jaen’s neck and she knows which bones to break.
“One more move and I’ll snap her neck.”
“Let her go, I have a blaster trained on you. I don’t care if I kill her.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Gavriel. You care. Remember? I’m your good friend. You confided in me. I know exactly how much you care about this stupid mammal.”
“Where are the others?”
“The others… the others killed my mother. They’ve killed many of our people. They fled. Without my mother… we have no one to lead us. To guide us. I don’t care about the salvage anymore. I’ll wipe every one of you humanoids off the planet. One at a time.”
“But not Jaen. Let her go.”
“Why should I do a stupid thing like that?”
“Because,” I drawl, “I’ll give you my body. They know who you are. They know that you’re the shapeshifter. You need some part of me to take my shape, don’t you? I’ll let you have my shape. I’ll stay on this planet. But you let Jaen go… now. Send her back toward the ship. Tell her to run and never look behind her, not once.”
“You’d sacrifice your life for this female? One of the others may even pick you off,” she murmurs to herself.
The shapeshifter considers my offer.
“You took my form before. But you had to prove I was guilty on video. It’s easier to fool a camera than it is to fool a person. But I’ll give you my shape so you don’t have to estimate. You can become me. Another soul. Another body. A chance to start over.”
Jisoo chuckles deeply and squeezes her arm around Jaen’s neck.
“One question. Do I get to keep the girl?”
“NO!” Jaen yells, “Gavriel, you can’t!”
I ignore Jaen’s screaming. I knew I was dying. I just didn’t know how I’d die. But I sensed it coming. And Odilian senses are never wrong. I’ll say whatever I have to so I can save Jaen’s life. I’ll negotiate until my jaw falls off with this foul creature, until I can assure Jaen’s safety.
“Let her go. She won’t tell the others because you’ll have me. Stuck here forever. You could order me killed any time. She’ll agree. Your freedom for my life. It’s a fair trade. And you can go wherever you want. You can spend all my money. You can do whatever you must in order to feel… free. That’s what we all want isn’t it?”
Jisoo snarls at Jaen, “What do you think, human? Would you protect him?”
“Yes,” she whimpers, “I wouldn’t say anything. Just don’t kill him. Please…”
“I let go and she runs. You point that weapon at me and I’ll kill both of you.”
“Understood,” I murmur, “Can we say goodbye?”
Jisoo rolls her eyes.
“Humanoids are disgustingly sentimental.”
Jaen rushes over to me, and I drop my gun. I hold her close and she clutches me tightly against her body.
“You can’t do this,” she whispers, “You can’t stay here and live like a prisoner.”
“You get
off this planet,” I murmur, “you leave this camp site and you keep running, do you hear me? This isn’t a trick. This isn’t a game. You run like your life depends on it.”
“I don’t want to leave without you.”
“Jaen… you must.”
“I love you,” she gasps, “I have to do something…”
I grab her wrist and squeeze it.
“No. Not this time.” I press her palm to my lips and smile — that cocky smirk that she hates so much.
“Do you trust me?”
She tilts her head to the side, like she’s wondering whether there’s something to smirk about.
“No,” she whispers, “Because you’re a crazy bastard and sometimes I don’t think you care whether you live or die.”
“Today, I plan to live, Nabokov. So leave. And… I love you too.”
We kiss. It could be our last. It probably will be. Jisoo clears her throat.
“I think you’ve said plenty of goodbyes. Now get out of here. Run!”
Jaen runs. She disappears faster than I thought she could move. We wait a few minutes. Jisoo watches me, patiently strumming her fingers over her thigh. She wants Jaen far enough away that she can’t help me. Good. I want Jaen far away too because I’m going to risk my life doing something stupid. I reach my unarmed hands out to Jisoo.
“Take my hand,” I say, “I’m not going to hurt you. I only care about the crew. If you need them to take you back to Helios, you won’t hurt them. Do that for me. After that, I don’t care who you kill.”
“You were stupid to stay here,” Jisoo hisses, moving closer to me, but watching me carefully, “I don’t know if I can stop these things from killing you.”
“I know. But I had to get Jaen to leave. You don’t want to kill. You’re not like… your mother.”
“She left me, Gavriel,” Jisoo says, her voice nearly cracking, “And now she’s done it again.”
Her hand wraps around my arm and I feel strange. I’m warm and my body floats for a moment. We lock eyes and Jisoo laughs.