Ghost then leaned in and hugged Lily. “Tiger Lily, we’re doing all we can to make sure Merc is stable enough to transport back to you. Jay says he’s doing well so far, but that he’ll probably need a few more days. Until then, and once he’s home, whatever you need. You let me know, and we’ll get it done, you hear?”
“Thank you,” she answered back quietly before she turned to me. “I need some rest.”
I nodded and stood, ready to take her home, but my father put a hand on my arm to stop me. “I’ll take her home. You stay in case Deck needs you.”
“Ever, can I speak with you a moment, in private?” Angel Girl, the President of the S.H.E. MC stood beside her father as she made the request. I nodded my head and then followed her to the kitchen area of the clubhouse. MiMi, one of the other S.H.E. members came along as well as my sister-in-law, Christina.
“What’s going on?”
“The woman you told us about and asked us to keep an eye on?”
“Yeah?”
“We haven’t heard back from her. We were hoping you would go with us to check up on her in person, since she knows you.”
I glanced around, feeling a little bit guilty about leaving to go do that, but also feeling just as guilty if I didn’t go to check on her. “Can you give me a minute to go check in on Deck first?”
“Of course,” Angel Girl told me, and I didn’t waste a moment. I had attempted to contact Ava yesterday and hadn’t thought anything of it when I didn’t hear back right away, but now the other women had me more concerned as I moved through the clubhouse toward the room they used as the club’s infirmary. I stood outside of the door, contemplating whether or not I should go in when the man known as Durbin stepped out.
“Oh! Hi, sorry, I didn’t realize anyone was standing out here,” he mentioned when he nearly hit me with the door.
“No, I just came up and was debating on whether I should knock or walk in,” I told him with a shrug of my shoulders. I felt more like a naughty kid who’d been called to the principal’s office than a wife worried over her husband’s health.
“Ever, do you want me to be frank with you, or do you want me to blow smoke up your ass?”
“Blunt honesty is my specialty and I respect it in others,” I confirmed for him.
“Good, because to be honest, I’m not a ‘blow smoke’ type person. Here’s the deal, and I’m starting from the beginning of my involvement and giving you the Cliff’s Notes version, you ready?”
I gave him a nod of my head, bit down on my lip to keep from interrupting him, and just listened.
“When I met Deck, he had just been rescued from Sasha. There is some weird power dynamic at play between the four siblings in that family, part of which is being done because the fourth sibling is a bastard child and not recognized. Normally, I wouldn’t think that important to tell you, but you’ll realize, there were two of the brothers who were working to get Deck back to you. The third, and youngest of the brothers, along with their sister, Sasha, was working to keep him away and use him to secure their power base. I worked for the older two in order to help Deck while I was there. Sasha’s youngest brother is the one who originally captured your husband, I believe he was reported to be dead in the raid that got your husband back.”
I didn’t say anything, just nodded. I already understood this dynamic as Ava had explained it all, thanks to the information Toby had provided her with.
“Well, when he was found in Sasha’s lair the time before, he was brought to a special, private hospital where they brought me in to handle his care and get him healthy again. I have to tell you how bad it was, so you understand just what I’m working with here and how long this process is going to take.” The man before me went on to quickly recount the condition Deck had been found in previously, what his prognosis was, and how long it took to get him back on his feet and off the shit Sasha had been chemically leashing him with. Then he told me about his condition compared now.
“Physically, he’s in much better shape. That will help tremendously in his recovery this time around.”
“But?” I asked because I could almost hear the word dripping from his thoughts. He eyed me and then seemed to decide something before speaking again.
“But, I have to prepare you. Kicking a habit once, it’s insanely difficult. Kicking it a second time, the chances of relapse go up drastically. Real numbers?” He asked me. I nodded. “If a person can stay sober for a year, their chances of relapse are about 50 percent. Only a third of people who get help make it that first year.”
“Only a third, and then 50 percent of that?” I asked in disbelief. Jesus. “He’s already relapsed though,” I pointed out.
“Yes and no.” He shook his head and then ran a hand over his shiny, bald head. “Deck never took the drugs willingly. I’m sure at some point, very soon after they were administered, he wanted them. Never doubt that. The craving becomes a thing whether you take them willingly or not. When he relapsed, again, it wasn’t willingly. He didn’t feel the itch and choose to take them. Someone forced them on him. I don’t know how that will affect his recovery, but I’m hopeful. Deck doesn’t seem to have an addictive personality naturally.
“No, he doesn’t. He rarely drinks, or at least he used to rarely drink,” I confirmed for him.
“Smoke?”
I shook my head. “I’ve never known Deck to smoke.”
“That’s good. I think his chances of relapse go down, knowing that, but if I’m being honest, there’s always a chance especially when he’s faced with stressors in life. Whether he wants to or not, his body will remember the easy ‘feel good’ fix and crave it to take him away from whatever is hurting him.”
“He has a mother undergoing treatment for breast cancer, a father who nearly died during his rescue, and a family deeply rooted in the MC life. I can’t shelter him from pain.”
“Not asking you to, darlin’. What you are going to have to do is be there as a support system. Usually, when people are getting clean, we tell them to stay out of relationships for at least a year because the relationship either becomes a crutch or a stressor. With married people who want to stay together, it’s going to be important that you’re going through this with him and not just watching from the sidelines.”
“I had no intentions of just sitting back and watching or being his crutch.”
“No one ever does.”
I sighed, because as frustrating as it was to hear, I knew the man was right. “Can I see him?”
“You can, if you’d like, but I gave him a sedative to calm him for now.”
“Is that smart, considering?”
“You know what?” He asked, but didn’t wait for an answer before continuing. “I like you. Do you know how many family members wouldn’t even think to ask if that was okay? Too many,” he answered himself before I had a chance to. Far too many, and they’re usually my repeat customers.” He patted his hand on my shoulder. “The sedative is fine for now, it’ll help. I’m looking into the cocktail of drugs he was being given so I can see what I need to wean him off of and what he can go cold turkey on.”
“Cocktail?”
“After he wasted away the first go round, Sasha actually sought out a medical professional who was all too willing to build her a designer mix to suit her needs.”
I shivered. “What exactly was in them?”
“That’s what I’m waiting to see. I sent his blood work off to a lab to have it examined. I can already tell you that before she was using a combination platter of Viagra, MDMA, and I can’t be sure, but after hearing what Deck had to say about his experience, I would guess Rohypnol or something similar to it. He may have been given the same thing, in safer dosages this time, but I always felt like there was something else in his system too. I’m pretty sure she gave him coke to counter the issues Viagra will cause with a lower heart rate.”
“What does all this mean for his heart, his overall health? Is there permanent damage from what she did?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “There’s no way of knowing right now. I didn’t have anything to compare his health to prior to him being rescued from the bitch before. If you’ll allow it, I can get with his normal doctor to discuss his baseline from before and compare to what he has now, versus what he’ll have once he’s weaned off of everything again.”
“Whatever you need,” I told him. Then I addressed the elephant in the room. “If he had Viagra and Molly in his system, then she very well could have been raping him and that baby could be his?”
The grim line of his mouth told me everything I needed to know. “You can find out for sure now, if you’d like. There are risks to the bitch and her baby though.”
I shook my head. “No, I won’t risk the baby in case it’s his, but once she has it, we’ll run the DNA,” I confirmed my plan. “I have someone else I need to check in on,” I told Durbin as I looked down at the man I loved. While he was obviously sleeping, it didn’t appear to be a peaceful sleep. “Will I have time before he’s up?”
“In keeping with the honesty I promised, I don’t think he’ll want to see you when he wakes, at least not yet.” My head snapped back as if I’d been physically assaulted by his words. Durbin held his hands out to me in a calming gesture. “It’s not that he won’t want to see you. I’m sure that’s nearly all he can think about, but he also knows that there are things that were done to him that he feels great shame for and it’s going to take him some time to work up the courage to deal with that and face you with the truth.”
“I already know,” I told him quietly.
“No, you suspect. If he tells you, then you know, and the fear isn’t in you knowing, it’s your reaction that will matter the most. Think on that while you’re checking on your friend.”
A text came through just as I turned to leave.
Ava: I need you to come to the house, please, as soon as possible. Love, T.
My heart was in my throat as I left the clubhouse, followed closely by Angel Girl, Christina, and MiMi.
The girls outside, at my behest, while I made my way in to check on Ava. The door was unlocked, which was my first sign that something wasn’t quite right. The second was the deathly quiet of the place. I looked around the living area of the house, the space where Ava had invited strangers into her home to converse with loved ones from the other side. She wasn’t around and it didn’t appear as though she had been using the space recently.
I moved through the rest of the house, room by room, until I found her bedroom. There, lying on the bed, still and peaceful, was Avalyn’s body. I moved closer and leaned in to touch my fingers to her neck. Her body was still relatively warm, but there was no sign of a pulse at all. I wasn’t sure if what I was feeling was because Toby was really there with me or not, but an overwhelming sadness settled into my bones as I stared down at the waif of a girl who had put her life on hold to help me. Now, she was gone, and had to wonder if it was the price that she paid for communicating with Toby. I wasn’t stupid, I knew she did something to make his help possible in a different way. “Oh, Toby, I’m so sorry. This shouldn’t have happened. Was this because of me? Because of Deck? Did we do this to her?”
A warmth brushed across my cheek that I couldn’t explain, but it instantly made all those questions and doubts disappear. I couldn’t explain it to another soul as long as I lived. Luckily, I didn’t have to. The communication between my brother and I would just have to live in my heart for the rest of my days. In the next life, people who were around during this phase of our lives would understand what happened here.
I bent back over and kissed Avalyn’s forehead. “Thank you for everything, my friend.” That same warmth brushed my cheek again as I took a step back just as footsteps approached the bedroom.
“Sorry, sister, you were taking so long we got worried,” I heard Christina call out just before she came through the doorway. “Oh shit!” She jumped into action immediately and crawled onto the bed to check Ava’s pulse as I had done.
“She’s already gone,” I informed her needlessly. Christina still checked for herself and then turned to me.
“Oh, Ever, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how it was she was helping you with everything, but I do know that without her help we wouldn’t have found Deck. Do you think…” she didn’t give words to her question, just let it hang in the air, but I knew what she was asking. Did I think her death had anything to do with how she got the information we needed?
I shook my head. “She wasn’t well. I’m guessing this was just her time,” I told her, not knowing if that was entirely true, but believing it was when that same warmth wrapped around me and left me with the feeling of contentment rather than sadness.
Two Weeks Later
Deck was still refusing to see me, the kids had heard enough to know that their daddy was back, and the girls were both starting to act out as a result of me keeping them from their father. I wanted to scream, cry, and pull my hair out. If I did the right thing for one person, I was hurting someone else, and meanwhile it felt like no one gave a shit that I was dying inside. My biggest fear while Deck had been gone, aside from his death, was that he would choose a new life, a new woman, and forget all about me or not want me anymore. We got him back only for it to be true. At least, it felt true every time I went to the clubhouse and was turned away again. My only comfort while away from Deck had been that one of my guys, the men I trusted with my children’s lives, was there to guard the door to Deck’s room day and night. When I explained to them that I had a bad feeling about the possible mole in the club, they all assured me that they wouldn’t leave him alone. I just wish they could offer assurances that my husband wasn’t about to become someone from my past rather than my future too.
A knock on my door startled me out of my pity party. For one brief moment, my heart leapt in my chest, and I wondered if Deck had finally come home. Then, I realized how stupid that was because this was his house, and why the hell would he need to knock on the door? It seemed I wasn’t out of hope, false or otherwise, just yet.
“Can I help you?” I asked the slightly younger man who was admiring my porch swing with a smile on his face.
“Oh! Sorry, I was just thinking that my sister would love your house. She’s always going on about a porch swing just like this one,” he grinned at me as he tipped his head in the direction of the swing. “Of course, she wants the wraparound porch to put it under too,” he carried on jovially as if his presence hadn’t just given my heart a jolt of adrenaline.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know you or your sister,” I started.
The grin on his face slipped then. “I thought you would be expecting me,” he mentioned as he glanced down at a folder in his hands. “I have some paperwork to go over with you this morning, a few pieces to sign, and then I’ll be out of your hair.”
“Who the hell are you?” I finally asked, losing my patience with him.
His brows drew together in question, but he answered me anyway. “My name is Brain Grist. I’m a lawyer with Avery, Malloy, and Grist here in Charleston.”
“A lawyer?” That earlier shot of adrenaline was nothing. NOTHING, compared to the one I experienced in that moment. Had Deck decided on the coward’s way out and chosen to send me divorce papers like this? No! There was no way he would be so cruel. Then again, I didn’t know him anymore. He had only been gone a year, but that year signified an absolute lifetime for him considering the things that happened while he was gone. Tears started bubbling up behind my lids as I closed my eyes and prayed for a miracle, right there in front a stranger on my front porch.
“I’m terribly sorry for your loss,” the man added as an afterthought to his introduction when he watched my reaction, and pinned it for the wrong kind of grief. “Ms. Sinclair left instructions to come see you, but she wanted to give you a little time after her death before it happened.”
“I’m sorry, Ms. Sinclair?” I asked.
“Avalyn Sinclair,” he answered,
seeming even more curious that I didn’t know who his client was.
“Of course,” I mentioned as I released a relieved sigh. “Please, understand that I have a lot going on right with several sick relatives undergoing medical treatment, Ava’s passing, and twins and a baby to care for,” I told him as I heard Archer cry out. “I’m a bit frazzled.”
“I understand,” he offered, even though it was clear by his face that he had no sense of understanding at all.
“Please, come in,” I held the door a little wider and then moved to close it behind him. Once I had him settled in at my kitchen table with his paperwork, I excused myself to go get my son.
“I hope you don’t mind,” I told him, to be polite while I settled in with Archer. Breastfeeding wasn’t an option with a stranger sitting at my table, so I warmed up a bottle of pre-pumped milk for my son and then started feeding him while I listened to Brian Grist explain the terms of Avalyn’s Last Will and Testament to me.
“Wait,” I finally stopped him. “Are you telling me that she left everything to me?”
“Well, yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“Why?” I asked him.
“Um,” he searched through the papers in front of him as if the answer would jump off the pages. I had no inkling of what he was looking for, but eventually he glanced up and set his attention on me. “It seems as though Ms. Sinclair had no family to speak of and she changed her Will about a month prior to her death to make you her beneficiary.”
“Who was it before?’
“There wasn’t a who. She had it set up to have all of her possessions sold off and then the liquidated assets would be divvied up between several charities. Since changing her Will, she added a special request too. I’ll read it to you, but you will also be given a paper copy to keep for yourself.
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