by Alexie Aaron
“Oh. Sorry, but the title threw me. I guess so… um… to be honest I forgot about it. Shit.”
“Don’t worry, you’ve got a lot on your plate this investigation,” Ted counseled.
“Did anyone come by yet for the pistols?” Beth said as she brought up her to-do list on her lap top.
“Some guy called and said that they were running behind and were going to be here this afternoon sometime. Before you ask, Mike re-salted the pistols before he took his beauty nap.”
“Phew!” Beth sat back and closed her eyes. “I need to be cloned, Ted. Could you arrange that?”
“Sure thing, I’ll look into it after Mia and I build a mausoleum for Murphy.”
“You have to be kidding. With all you have to do? You need to be cloned too!”
“Nah, Bethy, I need to be clowned,” he said and burst out laughing. He reached over and pounded the keys a moment. Soon circus music poured out of the console’s speakers. Beth clapped her hands in joy and felt the stress fall away.
Upstairs the twins had their faces pressed against the window, expecting to see a circus parade go through the backyard. Ermut smiled at Garrit as they spotted the hat boy and serious girl laughing below under the tent. They wandered back to the blocks and decided to build a circus train.
~
Sabine and Brian strolled down the street hand in hand. Bev followed at a discrete distance. Gerald would tease her later. She was in the guise of Ethel Merman which caused other OOBers to burst out in song when they spotted her. “There’s no business like…”
She ignored them and moved swiftly along, stopping at the occasional window to admire the shoes.
Sabine and Brian decided to take in a matinee and sat huddled together with spirits and OOBers in the balcony holding hands. Mia had shared her new knowledge of making physical contact with travelers with both of them when she had stopped in at Brian’s care facility before heading home. Sabine ignored her compassionate stare when Mia took in how much Brian’s corporal state had deteriorated in such a short time.
She took Sabine aside and mentioned, “Think about the island, maybe he could keep his spirit intact there?”
Sabine shook her head sadly. “No. We’ve talked about it, and he wants to ascend. I will have to just enjoy the time he has left. Thank you for sacrificing yourself in order to save me and give us this time together.”
“Love sucks sometimes,” Mia said.
“Yes, it does,” Sabine agreed, hugging her friend before she left.
Brian squeezed her hand, bringing her back to the present. She leaned over and whispered, “I love you,” in his ear.
Bev watched the two from her perch in the back of the balcony. Her heart hurt for the pain Sabine and Brian’s family would soon go through. The curtain went up below, and her attention moved from them to the stage.
~
Mia brushed her hair and opted for a cotton, three-quarter sleeve top. It would cover her bruised arms but still be cool enough for this eighty degree day. She found the colored denims on the floor where she had left them the other day and pulled them on.
Burt watched her from the doorway as she hopped from one foot to the other as she tugged on the pants. “Coffee?” he asked from the door.
“Oh yes please! Did you find the bagels I brought home?”
“The ones labeled, Burt eat all of these and die?”
Mia giggled, “I hope you saved me one.”
“I saved you two.” He patted his belly. “I’m watching my weight.”
Mia walked over to him and patted his stomach. “You don’t have to, bebe, I love you the way you are.” She looked up at him and sensed something in his eyes. “Are we okay?” He didn’t answer right away and a quiver of fear shot through Mia’s body. “Do you want to talk about it?” Mia asked. He still didn’t talk. Did he know about Murphy? How could he know… Angelo… No. Her mind whirled as she went through all the scenarios and came up empty. “Okay, you let me know when you want to talk. In the meantime I’m going to toast me some bagels,” she said and brushed by him. She didn’t want him to see her cry.
Burt turned and watched her walk out of the room. He was surprised at his coldness. What was happening to him? He deliberately hurt her. He followed her into the kitchen and leaned against the wall and watched her go through the mechanics of slicing and toasting the bagels. He tried several times to bring up the subject which was bothering him and couldn’t find the voice to do so.
Mia slammed down the cream cheese and yelled, “Either spit it out, or get out, you’re giving me the creeps!” She wasn’t surprised at her anger. She’d had a hard enough few days without Burt adding to it with his silent pout.
“I’m sorry. I just don’t know how to begin,” he said softly.
Mia walked over and pulled out a kitchen chair and said, “Sit.” She pulled one out across from him and said, “Start at the beginning, the middle, the end, but, for god’s sake, talk.”
He took a deep breath and told her his concerns regarding them working together. He told her how he felt when she undermined him. What it did to his confidence.
Mia listened to his words and tried not to smile. She was sweating bullets inside that he was going to break up with her over Murphy. All that was going on could be fixed. She would have to consider his abilities more and let him shine. It was male baby stuff. The stuff Bev and she had discussed a while back.
“I don’t have to help you or PEEPs. I’ve got stuff to keep me busy…”
“No. We need you.”
“No. You need my gifts. I can’t control how I act sometimes. My social abilities are almost nil. I don’t know how to work with people because no one wanted to work with me before,” she explained. “All you had to say was ‘Shut the fuck up’ occasionally.”
“As if I dared.”
Mia laughed and agreed, “Well maybe take me aside and tell me to stop being Miss Bossy Pants. Ted does.”
“He doesn’t!” Burt said shocked.
“Yes, he does. He calls me Miss Bossy Pants along with Minnie Cooper, Minnie Mouse, Tits Magee, and Burt’s squeeze box. I told him the last one was in poor taste.” Mia said getting up to retrieve her bagel.
Burt laughed and felt like an idiot. “I’m sorry. I’m not real good in the relationship department either.”
“You’re great in bed so you get a pass,” Mia said, applying a thick layer of cream cheese atop her toasted bagel half.
“And if I was lousy…”
“Lousy in bed and lousy at relationships… Gee, what do you think?” Mia said sarcastically. She took a bite and walked over and sat back down.
“Tell me how you got the new set of bruises?”
Mia lifted an eyebrow, chewing slowly. She murmured something and swallowed. “Long story, maybe we should get going. I believe Beth needs us to help return some weapons?”
“I forgot about that!” Burt exclaimed and got up and jogged to the bathroom.
Mia frowned at her food. It looked like Burt bought the happy Mia show. She wasn’t happy, but she would mull it over for a few days. It appeared to her that she was getting pinholed into the “little woman” role. She would look at things again after they completed this investigation. It could be that they had lost the new car smell of their coupledom. She didn’t like the role he wanted her to play, but she also didn’t want to lose him either. Could they transition into friends? She doubted it. Also Murphy was on her mind. Maybe she was making up problems to ease the guilt of making out with a ghost?
She shook herself awake before she tossed the remaining bagel in a sack to take along. She had shoes to find and a coffee to drink. No rest for the wicked.
~
Mia moved swiftly in her OOBed state. She gathered the Colorforms stickers from the pocket of her corporal form and flew down the street. She quickly applied the stickers to the outdoor cameras before moving indoors. She also took into account the cameras at the ATM and convenience store across the street. She
moved back into her body and sat up in the truck.
“All set. Cue old ladies,” she said to Burt who was on the phone to Beth.
He nodded and said, “Send in the foxes.”
Mia watched as Alice and Mary walked into the building carrying a homemade, iced sheet cake. Burt got out of the truck and met Ted who walked quickly from Beth’s car down the street. They carried the trunk that Beth had meticulously wiped free of all fingerprints between them using gloved hands. They dropped it in front of the building and went their separate ways. Mia bi-located once more and removed all the stickers from the cameras leaving the interior ones for last. She smiled as she witnessed the group of happy police personnel congregated around Alice and Mary as they served the officers the cake.
Mia moved back into her body, stuffing the stickers deep into her pants pocket. She scooted over and started the truck. Within moments, Burt who had circled the block, got in and they drove off. Beth and Ted would drive by checking on the trunk until Mary or Alice called attention to it on their leaving.
Burt called Beth. She told him that seconds after they had left, another patrol car had pulled up, and they were examining the trunk as she and Ted passed. He relayed the information to Mia who seemed lost in her thoughts.
“Sorry, I just sort of phased out for a second.”
“What are you thinking about?” he asked.
“Lunch.”
“Figures, let’s get some Chinese takeout. I think I saw a shop on the way into town yesterday.”
“Do you need to ask the team for their orders?”
“Mia, we have been eating crap together for so long that you can name any fast food restaurant and I could tell you what each person would order.”
“Sign of a good boss,” she commented.
“This?”
“Yes, paying attention to your team’s wants and needs.”
He put a hand through his hair, smoothing the strays away from his face. “I never thought of it that way.”
Mia felt him sit up a little straighter beside her. And she only bristled slightly when he inquired what she would like to order.
Chapter Thirty-four
He stared down at his body in disbelief. It lay there rotting in the shade of the willow tree. Sire couldn’t understand what had happened. He remembered the battle between him and the woman. The memory of his soon to be realized victory was crisp in his mind. He saw her defeated but not cowering, and thought, “How dare she look at me with such revulsion,” as he raised his hand to strike. And then nothing.
Someone had taken part of his island and drove it through his chest. Why wasn’t he buried? He had an elaborate tomb bought and paid for, but yet he lay cast off on the ground. Anger built, and he moved to leave but couldn’t. This was unacceptable. He could not even lift his eyes from his bloating face. No!
“This is your punishment,” Komal’s voice drifted over to him.
Sire tried to turn to see his betrayer but could not move his face away from viewing his corpse.
“You will watch as the carrion dines on your flesh. The insects will clean your bones white and the winter’s ice will cover them. Only when the storms scrub the island clean and drag your bones to the depths of the lake will you be able to look away. Only then will you be able to face your maker and answer to him for your crimes.”
“Someone will come,” Sire spat.
“They will come, but they will not be able to see. The power you used to make this island invisible I have used to imprison you here. Your body no longer can be seen by anyone but you. And you will watch your carefully tended locks fall from your skull as the skin sloughs off. What did you threaten the woman with? Ah yes, you will become a maggot farm. And you will witness it, unable to look away. This is the punishment narcissists face.”
“How dare you!”
“No, Sire, how dare you? You did this to yourself. Don’t worry, I will come and visit you every day to tell you how they are taking your possessions away. Giving them back to those you stole them from. I will tell you how the people you tortured are now happy, living a life of ease, cared for with your money. Don’t worry, you will come to like my visits. After all, you collected me. I am yours.” Komal laughed.
“What of Pramada?”
“She has already forgotten you. She is in love with the knight that slew you.”
Sire bubbled with rage but couldn’t do anything but stare at his own face. “She was mine!”
“She was never yours. I saw to that. I have sacrificed my eternity to make sure you never see yours. Not in spirit form, not in memory. Nothing, you will become nothing.”
“Komal, this goes against your beliefs, your teaching. This is revenge!” Sire argued.
“No, Sire, this is justice.”
~
Erdmut handed Garrit the red block he asked for. They were having fun. Grandmother was downstairs reading, and all was well. The lady not much bigger than them had promised them justice. She told them to be patient that Klaus would answer for what he did to them and Grandmother. She asked them to play quietly, and they would. After all, they had waited almost a hundred years to see Klaus. Wasn’t it funny when he realized he was trapped in this house with them? Garrit took great joy in torturing him, just as he, Klaus, had hurt them.
Just when things were getting interesting, the man came and took him away. Klaus hopped a ride in the man as the man walked out of the house. Klaus made faces at them. He laughed. Not even Grandma saw what had happened. How could she? She had no eyes.
Garrit now wanted a green block. Erdmut’s attention was directed back to finding a green block. He handed it to his brother who smiled as he laid the last piece.
~
Mike stood staring in disbelief. He was the first to arrive.
They were finishing their meal when Ted noticed that the doll was gone. “Hey dudes, Mister Peepers has taken a walkabout.” The team crowded around the viewing screen, each of them searching the other feeds to see if the doll was in any of the other rooms.
“I’m going up there. He has to be in that room,” Mike announced, getting up.
“Be with you in a minute,” Burt said. “Time to change the batteries anyway. Mia, grab those FV50s.”
Mike noticed her give a Burt a strange look, but she walked over and gathered the Sony batteries. He shook his head and started into the house. He heard Grandma rocking and remembered he had to check on what page she was on. As long as she had something good to read she didn’t cause any problems. He had heard of a new romance that he was sure that Granny, and he for that matter, would love.
The step Mia had pried off wobbled slightly. He would have to alert the Hofmann family to get it seen too before they moved back in. He was still puzzled over how the spirits were able to get the dueling pistols inside that step to begin with. Mia shrugged when he asked her, saying, “When one wants something bad enough, they find a way.”
“Hello, Mike to Earth?” Mia said as she tapped him on the back. “You make a better door than a window. What’s going on?”
Mike moved a few steps into the room but hugged the wall. Mia and Burt stood in the doorway looking at what the boys had been up to.
In the center of the room stood a structure made of wall studs, electric wiring, Lincoln logs, Lego building blocks, and razor blades. It had an upright frame that stood six feet tall from which a sharp angled blade was suspended by phone wire. The doll was placed standing with one end of the wire around its hand. There were a few books in the Lincoln-Log-built basket at the base, and another book laid ceremoniously across it.
“What is it?” Burt asked, knowing the answer.
“A guillotine,” Mike answered. “It’s life sized.”
“No, boy sized,” Mia corrected. “And it’s not just a toy.” She said as the doll opened its eyes. “It’s justice.” She stared in horror as the doll nodded its head and pulled the wire. The blade fell, cleaving the book under it in half.
Burt bravely wal
ked over and picked up the pieces of the book. He read the title aloud, A Boy’s Life. He opened the cover and read the inscription, “To Klaus from Grandma.”
~
The brush spread the warm lather over his face. He could feel his beard softening. A couple more swipes of the blade on the strap, and the straight razor would be primed for this task. Drawing the blade down his face he marveled at how handsome he was. The Hofmann genes were prominent, and he smiled and winked at himself. He drew the blade upward under his chin. The soft scraping sound was comforting. He had always liked sharp things. Razors, nails, tacks, and, of course, knives. His knives were always clean and sharp. He took pride in his things.
He carefully drew the blade down cutting each sideburn exactly even. Washing the soap residue off his face, he thought about how interesting his life had turned out. Great job, house, wife… He stopped and frowned at the thought of his wife. She didn’t really suit him anymore. He noticed the little lines on her face at supper this evening. He would have to point them out and have her fix them. If not, she would have to leave, and he would replace her. And if she wouldn’t leave…
He smiled as he gazed upon the razor as the light caught it. The perfect sharpness of the blade winked back at him. And if she wouldn’t leave, he would kill her.
~
Mia took the call from Gerald, walking away from the team to talk more privately. He told her of the developments regarding the oppressed immigrants. She was pleased to hear that progress had been made on the distribution of Bakersfield’s wealth. Trusts were set up for the people he had wronged. “Gerald, you are amazing. Is there anything you can’t do?”
“Get your aunt to marry me,” he said sadly.
“Keep working on her. We Cooper women have a fear of being the ‘little woman’ in any relationship.”