“Mayhap.” He propped up on an elbow when she rolled onto her back. “Or mayhap I’ve disappointed him again somehow.”
“Do you live your life like that?” She searched his eyes. “Wondering if you’ve disappointed your dad yet again?”
He shrugged. “I dinnae know.” He tugged her closer, almost as if he didn’t want her to flee. “I could ask you the same. Do you live your life running away when faced with anything having to do with your hearing?”
And there it was.
“Listen, Niall, I'm not into comparisons or trying to relate to other people. You've got your problems. I've got mine.” She sighed. “So I’ve got no answers for you except that if I were your dad I’d steer clear and let you work out your own bullshit. As I see it, you’ve found a safe place to hide behind your, what…honor? Pride? Good enough I suppose but still, you’re hiding in a way.” Her eyes held his. “So unless you’re ready to be straight with him and say what’s on your mind, stop bitching.”
When he frowned, she arched her brows. “Sorry, but Malcolm strikes me as a straight shooter. Maybe not when it comes to his son, but I’ll bet that’d change if you got the balls to not pussy-foot around him but tell him where you stand without offending the guy. Tell him how you feel. Don’t hold back. Be you and be proud.”
“I have,” he murmured. “Many times.”
“Pfft,” she scoffed. “I’d say you didn’t explain but told him how things were gonna be. Your way or the highway.” She shrugged. “Sorry, but you sort of strike me as the type to do that.”
“Aye, mayhap,” he granted. “But what of you, lass? You’re tougher and more courageous than anyone I know yet you pretend you’re not going deaf. Even though you fear it, it simply doesnae exist. You’re avoiding it.”
Before she could pull away, he locked his arm more securely around her and narrowed his eyes. “To my mind, you’re pussy-footing around your problems just as much as I am mine.”
“The difference?” she retaliated, eyes just as narrowed. “Yours is tangible and family. Mine is just a personal problem.”
“Yours is just as tangible.” He kept his voice low and even. “And something that involves your family. Cassie, Erin, Jaqueline.” Before she could talk, he shook his head. “And me, Rònan and all my cousins, all the MacLomains. Everyone who cares about you.”
Not quite sure what to say, she did what she always did.
Downplayed things.
“I’m going deaf. No biggie. Nothing that needs friends or support or anything else. Not in light of all the crap happening. Cassie’s blind. That’s huge and sucks big time. Focus on her.” Nicole curled away, for the first time not interested in arguing. Not with him. Not right now. “I wanna crash. Leave me alone.”
Relieved, she squeezed back annoying tears, grateful that he seemed fine with leaving her be.
Or at least she thought so.
She should have known better.
Nicole seethed through her teeth when he rolled her onto her back, came over her and propped his elbows in such a fashion that her arms were pinned by her side. Yet all the while he managed to keep a less-than-ferocious look on his face as he wedged her tight against the bed and met her eyes.
“I’m sorry that I gave you that Christmas present with Rònan around. I thought ‘twould make you happy to have us both there. Either way, ‘tis time for you to face what’s ahead because ‘tis coming, Nicole. And no matter how far you run, you cannae escape it. What you can do, is allow me and even my cousins to help you through it.”
Though tempted to get mad at him, to spark a fight to detour from the conversation, she just couldn’t seem to find it in her. She was tired of all the anger and resentment. Yes, her friends had been a solid network of support over the years but she'd always felt like she needed to be strong for them. That losing her hearing was nothing compared to their troubles.
But maybe it was something after all.
Niall must have sensed she was finally relenting because he sat up against the headboard and pulled her onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist and eyed her with tempered compassion. Just enough to let her know he cared but not enough that she felt the need to whack him upside the head.
“I want to know what the doctors have told you about your hearing,” he said softly. “And I want you to be truthful.”
Nicole sighed but didn’t push away. “They’ve never really given a solid diagnosis except that it’s likely hereditary. There’s all sorts of modern day technology that can help me hear vibrations and stuff when my hearing goes entirely.” She shrugged and stared at the fire. “But I’ve always had this deep-down feeling that they won’t work for me.”
“Have you learned sign language?” he asked.
“I’m surprised you know what that is.”
“When I heard what you were facing, I learned all I could.”
Her eyes met his. “So, what, you grilled Cassie?”
“Nay, she was coping with blindness and I didnae want to bother her. So I traveled to the future.”
“You were in the twenty-first century after Cassie left?” Her eyes widened. “When I was there?”
“Aye,” he murmured. “Forgive me for staying away. We werenae on the best of terms.”
Wasn’t that the truth.
Unexpected warmth curled inside her. “I can’t believe you did that.”
“I wanted to better ken who I was sworn to protect,” he said and she knew he was hedging. “It only made sense.”
Nicole eyed him. “Was that the only reason?”
“Aye,” he said before he shook his head and cupped the side of her neck. “Nay, ‘twas not. I had a deep need to ken your plight. To ken what made you the lass you were.”
“And what sort of conclusions did you come to?”
“The same sort that I came to that night at the MacLeods,” he said. “That you’re a fighter and verra brave.”
She grinned a little. “So my looks had nothing to do with it?”
“Nay, I didnae have much time to see your looks on the battlefield.” He grinned as well. “I was too busy being dropped to my knees and defending your drunken arse.”
Nicole chuckled, glad he was keeping what could have been a difficult conversation light. “Yeah, that was definitely bad timing.” She traced her finger over the stubble on his strong jaw. “But I think you’re lying about not checking me out. I think you thought I was hot.”
“I would've had to be blind to think otherwise,” he murmured when she traced the pad of her thumb over his lower lip.
Nicole adjusted her backside a smidge as arousal flared.
“Och, lass.” He stilled her with a hand to her hip. “I’m not finished talking with you yet.”
“I think that you are for now,” she countered seductively, lowering her lashes and licking her lips as she hiked up her dress and straddled him. “I’ll tell you anything you wanna know later.” She ran her hands up beneath his tunic. “After.”
“After,” he murmured as she dragged her fingers up his chiseled abs and over his pecs. God, she loved touching him. The feel of hot skin over steely muscles. She brushed her lips across his as she lightly scraped her nails back down.
But merely sampling his lips was just not enough.
As soon as their mouths opened and their tongues connected, it was spontaneous combustion. They groaned as the kiss deepened. Nicole tore at the plaid wrapped over his shoulder then started pushing up his tunic. Their mouths separated just long enough for him to pull it over his head.
Then their lips were back together, desperate to stay connected, desperate to keep tasting and exploring. Like it had been in the Viking King’s cave, Nicole felt an immense closeness. A feeling that she had never felt with anyone else. A craving to catapult far beyond simple sex and find that place where only they seemed to exist. That wonderland of wickedness and carnal bliss that had her breathing hard just thinking about it.
“Niall,” she whimpered i
nto his mouth, desperate to get closer.
He seemed to understand because he pushed his plaid down just enough as she hiked up her skirts. When he eased into her she almost blew apart it felt so good. Trembling, she grabbed onto his broad shoulders and struggled for breath as their eyes locked.
At that moment she knew her thoughts were as much his as his were hers and it only intensified all the sensations and emotions whiplashing through her. The connection was so strong she went multi-orgasmic right then and there as the muscles in her stomach and thighs started to flutter wildly.
She had never felt anything like it.
Fully impaling her, Niall made no movement with his hips but wrapped a hand into her hair and pulled her close for another long, heartfelt kiss. One that seemed to meld them together more thoroughly than they already were. Slow and easy then fast and passionate, the kisses egged on the building sensations in her belly. The little waves of pleasure that had her quivering against him.
This time when sound faded she knew it had nothing to do with her affliction and everything to do with him. A buzz made entirely of the blood rushing through her veins as anticipation grew. As their worlds wrapped together and twisted into scalding flame.
Lost in everything she felt, Nicole released a long, low groan when he grabbed her backside and started to move. Not much. Just a scant fraction in and a scant fraction out. He went so incredibly deep that her womb contracted in pleasure and she started to grind ever-so-slightly.
Niall’s head fell back and he whispered, “Bloody hell,” as he watched her from beneath hooded eyes. “You’re so beautiful.”
As his thoughts twirled with hers, she truly felt it. Beautiful. Inside and out. The way he looked at her. The way he seemed to see things nobody else could. How pleasing he found all those unfortunate quirks of her personality. Her toughness and defiance. Her challenging nature. To him, they were all the best parts of her. The things that made her into the woman he desired above all others.
The woman he loved.
Amazingly enough, she felt no need to run or flee but instead let the deep emotion wash over her. In its own way, it was the most freeing moment of her life. Letting someone in like this. Letting someone other than her friends into her heart.
Into her soul.
As if he sensed her acceptance, his pupils flared and he began to move faster. Matching his pace, she braced her hands more firmly on his shoulders and met his thrusts. Smooth, well-matched, they moved together in such synchronization that she knew their minds were anticipating the others.
Nicole gasped when he rolled her onto her back, never losing contact. With one hand wrapped around a bedpost, he thrust faster and faster. Legs wrapped around his waist, she grabbed the post as well and braced herself. Blazing heat flared beneath her skin as she watched him. The straining muscles. The sweat soaked skin.
They were hungry and eager and way out of control now as he worked her body into a frenzy. Flashes of how he saw her flickered in her mind. Wild. Desperate. Crazed. Gorgeous.
Ready.
“Nicole,” he whispered aloud then into her mind. He said her name as though he intended to say it a thousand more times. As though it belonged to him and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
She was shocked by how much she like the possession. By how much she liked being his.
“Niall,” she whispered back aloud then in his mind. Because it worked both ways and he needed to know it. He was every inch hers. At least right here. Right now.
Somehow her word mingling with his sent them both sailing over the edge. When he roared and locked up against her, her body seized. Completely out of control, her muscles clamped tight. All of them. Her stomach, thighs, calves, arms, everything. It was almost frightening in its intensity.
He pulsed and trembled against her but her body seemed suspended in some sort of limbo. She knew it was the start of a powerful orgasm and gripped the post and his shoulder as tightly as possible.
“Niall,” she gasped, needing his eyes on hers.
Hearing the desperation in her voice, he lifted his head and their eyes met. It was that connection, the utter safety she found in his gaze, that unlocked her body and she detonated. Burst wide open. Screamed. Saw a zillion fireworks zipping everywhere. Sharp tingles swarmed over her skin and she swore her heart stopped. Jagged breath ripped from her lungs as she struggled for breath.
“Shh,” Niall whispered and cupped her cheek. “Dinnae fight it, lass.”
Fight it? There was nothing to fight. Yet she supposed in some strange way there was. She was letting go. Letting him in entirely. Nicole cupped his cheek as well when he pressed his forehead against hers.
A few more jagged gasps tore from her before pleasure whipped through her like heat-lightning over a raging sea. Then the flood truly let go and she started shaking. But with Niall as her anchor, she could ride the waves and find true release without fear.
Once she gave in to the safety and certainty of that, she was able to ride out the climax of her life. Or should she say climaxes. Because there were several. Too many to count. However many there were, they carried her to another plane and she lost touch with reality.
In fact, she downright passed out.
Or so she assumed because the next thing she knew, dim daylight flooded through the windows and snow drifted in as animal skins flapped in the wind. Niall was spooned against her back. Nicole smiled when she realized she was wearing his tunic. The fire on the hearth must have been fed because it crackled invitingly. But that wasn’t what caught her attention. No, it was something else entirely.
Something that warmed her to her very core.
It sat in the corner, blazing with festive lights.
For the first time in her life, she was waking up to a Christmas tree.
Chapter Sixteen
NIALL WATCHED AS Nicole climbed out of bed and made her way over to the tree. Pleased by how happy she looked, he smiled as she crouched and fingered the branches. He sat up, rested his arms on bent knees and remained silent so that she could enjoy the moment.
But he should have known better.
Sensing him, she peered over her shoulder. The smile she shot his way was one of a kind. “Did you do this?”
“Aye.” He kept smiling, unable to help himself. “Rònan and I.”
“Hell,” she whispered and turned her gaze back to the tree. He knew she fought tears as she again fingered the small pine's magically lit branches. “It’s amazing. Thank you.”
Sensing that she would like him there, Niall got out of bed, wrapped his plaid and joined her. Crouching, he took her hand and nodded beneath the tree. “Those are for you.”
Her eyes went from under the tree to him and back again. “Are you serious?”
“Aye. Go ahead, pick them up. They should suit your size perfectly.”
Hands trembling, she picked up the ornately carved dagger and round shield before standing. He stood as well and nodded at the shield. “That’s from Rònan. He wanted to honor our Viking ancestors who kept you safe so had it made to resemble theirs. Out of wood. It’s lightweight enough for you to hold without growing weary and was dyed to match the colors of your Broun clan’s plaid.”
Clearly emotional, she eyed the shield. “This is amazingly awesome.” She shook her head. “Too much.”
“Nay.” Niall shook his head too. “Never enough for the lass who protected Scotland’s future king, saved Rònan from hell then went on to save me. Those were his exact words. He cast his own dragon spell on it so that it might protect you as fiercely as you have all of us.”
“Damn,” she murmured, shifting it around as she adjusted to its weight. “A dragon spell? What exactly does that mean?”
Niall shrugged. “’Tis hard to know, but I’d say ‘tis a verra good thing.”
“I’ll bet.” Her gaze went to the dagger, eyes growing wider as she took in the Celtic symbols curving up its blade. “And this?”
“That is from me,” he
said softly. “Forged as the last of the moon was covered and the wild winds blew through the glen. Forged as the sea went from calm to crashing.” He traced a finger over the symbols. “Tied by not only my magic but by Iosbail’s and her brother Adlin’s too, these have the power to protect ye from great evil. Darkness cultivated in the Otherworld.”
“I get why their magic could do that.” She swallowed as her eyes met his. “But how does yours?”
“Because I’ve been there. When I went after you and Rònan,” he said. “As such, my magic is now tied into it.”
“That sounds intense,” she whispered, eyes dropping to the well-forged blade. Her fingers traced over the scroll along the hilt. “These tiny symbols are words, aren’t they?”
“Aye, in Latin,” he said. “The most powerful language of magic.”
“What do they say?”
Niall had been very careful choosing them. They had to tell her that he cared, but she was her own person. That he would always be here to protect her but had faith that she could protect herself as well.
“Bellator, si quando opus vires magicis meis tibi ducitur.” His eyes met hers. “Warrior, if ever in need, the strength of my heart and magic is yours to lead.”
Nicole held his gaze for several long moments before she blinked a few times, swallowed hard then looked at the blade. Though she pretended like she was scratching her cheek, he didn’t miss the small tear that she wiped away before she whispered, “Hell, Niall. Who knew you were so sweet?”
Clearing her throat, trying to hide her emotions, she swiped the blade a few times. “This feels perfect.” Her eyes went to his. “When did you guys find time to have these made?”
“Och, lass, we wouldnae trust another to make these,” he said. “We made them ourselves. You slept many hours before I came back to the chamber last night. We started then. After you fell asleep again, I went back down and continued to help. Having done her romping, Iosbail was able to lend her magic.”
“But how was Adlin there?”
Niall only grinned and shrugged, offering an evasive answer. “How is Adlin anywhere?”
Honor of a Scottish Warrior Page 23