by Stewart, Ann
Rachel gestures towards the couches, letting everyone know to make themselves feel comfortable. Alex leads his grandmother to the nearby sofa and I follow in tow to sit next to him. The way he is with her is very gratifying to see and the simplest of actions don’t go unnoticed. After a moment, Rachel continues, and when she does I wish I could put a sock in her mouth. She’s always too nosey. “So Alex, El tells us you two work together?”
Alex appears nervous to answer questions about work, so he gives a simple yes and quickly changes topics. “You have a lovely home.”
“Thanks, we like it. We bought it a year ago and are pleased with it so far. Bryan’s been working on the outside when he can and it’s almost finished.” The only thing not finished is the backyard. They have trees and grass, which is almost unheard of in Las Vegas, but they make it work. Once they lay down gravel, the house will be perfect…perfect for them.
“Please excuse me; I need to go check on dinner. It should be ready in about five minutes. Bryan honey, can you help me please?” Rachel nods towards the kitchen, hinting for him to leave the three of us alone.
Once it’s just us, Alex relaxes into the couch. “I’m sorry. I know she can be a bit overwhelming, but she’s all I have.”
“I know all about that,” Alex’s eyes gesture towards his grandmother who’s sitting quietly, glancing around at the pictures adorning Rachel’s end tables. Rachel has pictures galore in her home; of me and her when we were little, of our parents, and newer pictures of her and Bryan. If anyone ever wanted to see a timeline of our life, here at Rachel’s is where you would start. It’s always nice to look at old pictures, but at the same time, it reminds you of the time lost. I try and stay in the present as much as possible.
“Nana, do you want something to drink?”
“Oh no, dear, I gave up the poison long ago. I promised my Alex I wouldn’t touch the stuff ever again.” I smile at Alex, who lovingly looks at his grandmother shaking his head in amusement.
“Would you like some water or soda?” Still glancing around assessing her surroundings, she politely declines, saying she’s not thirsty.
Alex whispers in my ear, “She’s having a good night so far, let’s see if it lasts.” I realize he’s just as nervous about this as I am. Reaching for his hand, I squeeze gently to give him the reassurance we both need.
Rachel pokes her head from the doorway and announces, “Dinner’s ready.”
~~~~~
Rachel went all out. Encased in a simple square vase, thin slices of lemon float around the long stems of yellow tulips. Her eco-friendly bamboo placemats and accompanying plates give the table an earthy feeling and contrast nicely against the white linen table cloth adorned with tiny yellow flowers. Rachel always had a knack for entertaining.
With Bryan at the head of the table and Rachel at the other end, Alex and his grandmother take the side closest to the wall leaving me to sit directly across from him.
“This looks amazing Rachel,” I coo as I place my napkin in my lap. She prepared a simple bow tie pasta salad with summer vegetables, grilled lemon chicken, and a rice pilaf.
“Hey, I helped!” Bryan chimes in.
“Really?” Rachel teases. “And how exactly did you help?”
“Well, I went grocery shopping!” Bryan laughs as he picks up his fork and knife, ready to dive in.
Alex takes a napkin and places it in his grandmother’s lap as he gently caresses her cheek and places a soft kiss on her forehead. Rachel’s eyes reflect the same level of adoration for Alex that mine do. I’m sure she also noticed how ruggedly handsome he is in his grey slacks and white button-up shirt. Grasping my hand, I glance at Rachel as she squeezes my fingers together. In that moment, I know we share the same bond as Alex and his grandmother. As she is the only family he has, Rachel is the only family I have.
Pools of tears form in Rachel’s eyes and I quickly look away to avoid following suit. While Rachel wipes away the traces of moisture, Bryan decides to take the attention away from his better half. “So Alex, I know you and E work together. What would make you go for such a funny looking girl in the first place?” I stick my tongue out at him as Rachel erupts in a throaty laugh. He always knows what to say to take the edge out of the situation, which is why he was made for my sappy sister.
“Well, I thought I could get in some karma points by giving her a chance,” Alex jokes, sending Bryan into a laughing frenzy, leading into his famous snorting. Once Bryan starts, the whole table breaks into laughter.
“Ha, ha, very funny, guys. I’m so glad I can be the brunt of everyone’s joke. As usual!” Being with Rachel and Bryan, I expect for them to poke fun of me every chance they get. But, with Alex joining in, I can’t help but think that he and Nana were the missing puzzle pieces to our tiny family.
“It’s cause you make it so easy for me! Plus, I can’t pick on your sister or I’ll end up sleeping on the couch for the next month!” Bryan confesses, winking at Rachel.
“Damn straight!” Rachel chimes in. “Enough torturing my poor baby sister, I need to get serious for a minute.” Rachel gets her stern face in place, staring Alex down. Before she continues, she gives him a hint of a smile. She’s about to lay down the law, but it’s all out of love.
“So Alex, I hate to put you on the spot, but you had to know this was coming.” Looking confused, Alex sets down his napkin wanting to give Rachel his full attention. “Elyssa is all I have, well except for Bryan, and we take care of one another. I just want to make sure her happiness is a priority to you.” And that is why I love my sister!
Alex glances at Bryan whose mouth is too full of dinner to include his usual banter, and then to me. All I can do is shrug my shoulders and grin. “Rachel, I understand. I know you both mean a lot to each other and I wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt Elyssa. All I want is for her to be happy…happy with me, but happy nonetheless,” he asserts.
“Good. I’m glad to hear that.” Looking over at me, she gives a nod of approval. She doesn’t need to say anything. With her small gesture, the weight I felt earlier disappears and the love I have for both of them swells. “Alright, alright, enough with the heavy, I want to know more about how you guys met. Was it love at first fax?” We all giggle at the question, including Nana, who I didn’t even know was paying attention.
“Actually, I noticed Elyssa when I was getting gas the morning of her first day at work.”
“Really? She never mentioned this.” Rachel glances over at me with her brows raised, a mischievous smile spreading across her lips.
“She was coming out of the convenience store. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. She ignored me of course, but I was given my second chance when I rode the elevator up with her at work.”
His explanation of our chance encounter is briefly disrupted when Alex glances at Nana having difficulty cutting her chicken. Taking her fork and knife, he carefully cuts the meat into small bite size pieces before handing the fork back to her.
Bringing attention to his grandmother, Rachel decides to get her take on our relationship. “So Nana, what do you think of our Elyssa dating your Alex?”
“Oh, I’m so pleased. He’s changed since he met her. My happy boy.” She reaches up and ruffles his floppy hair with her hands, chuckling all the while. Alex smiles and smoothes his hair back into place. “Alex has never had a chance to act his age. Stuck with a batty old grandmother after losing his mother so young…” Tears threaten as she continues. “He’s never had a chance to do anything for himself. Finally, it seems he’s been given a second chance at happiness.” Nana looks over at me, her kind eyes dry as Alex wipes away the lonely tear.
“Well we’re in agreement then. El has never been the average child either. She went from being a rebellious teenager into an old soul, never anything in between. I blame myself sometimes…if I’d just let Arianna take care of you the way she wanted…maybe things would have been different.” Rachel takes a breath, closing her eyes resolving something in
side. “But, I refuse to let that horrible excuse of a person have any say in my family…not after what she did.” I’m confused by Rachel’s comment. I know she doesn’t like Arianna, but she’s never been honest with the reason why. Then again, I’ve never asked her outright. But, this is not the time, or the place; especially not in front of Alex.
“Rachel!” My eyes shoot over to Alex who’s listening intently. “Even though Alex knows Arianna is a family friend, she is both of our boss’s, and I’d like to keep my job, thank you.”
“Sorry, you’re right. No more discussions about bad memories.” Rachel smiles innocently, while raising her glass in a toast. “To making new memories…to the future.” We all clink our glasses, and continue the evening without any more outbursts from my sister. Seriously, what was she thinking?
As the night goes on, Bryan and Alex appear to have more in common than I’d originally thought. Bryan discusses how he used to play in a band in high school. According to Bryan they were good enough to get a record deal, but they just never got their chance. Rachel whispers in my ear that Bryan can’t carry a tune. We chuckle, but the boys don’t appear to notice as they continue to bond over their love of music and working out. Bryan’s bromance with Alex develops to an all new level as they make plans to go to the gym later on. The way they’re making plans for the future, teasing each other left and right, both Rachel and I start to wonder if they need some time alone.
“Alexander where are we?” Nana chimes in. Her question obviously makes Alex worry. He moves closer to her, stroking her back, while she looks around trying to place herself in what appears to be the start of an upsetting scene.
“Remember Nana, we’re having dinner at Elyssa’s sister’s house?”
“Is she the one who was at our house last night?” Last night? No, I wasn’t there last night. He said he needed to take care of something…he did say something and not someone, right? No…he wouldn’t do that to me…
Alex continues to stroke his grandmother’s back, trying to soothe her. “No Nana, Elyssa was at our house the night before.” He looks at me, sadness filling his eyes. I immediately nod my head to let him know its okay to leave, as comprehension replaces fear. Today’s good day has turned into another episode.
“I want to go home, Alexander. I don’t know this place.” Alex looks over at Rachel and mouths an apology.
“Okay, let’s go.” Pulling out her chair, he takes his grandmother by her arm. “Thank you both for having us and for giving us your blessing.” His wide smile exudes his happiness as our eyes meet.
As Alex heads towards the front door, I lean over, whispering to Rachel that Nana has Alzheimer’s. She nods in understanding, sadness reaching her eyes. “Do you need my help to clean up, or is it okay if I leave with them?”
“No, you go. El, I’m glad you finally met someone. Someone you seem to care for the way I care for Bryan. I really like him. Now go, we’ll see you out.”
“I’m coming with you.” I rise and place my napkin on top of my plate, Rachel and Bryan following after me. In the short walk to the front door, I can’t help but think of how huge tonight was. How I’ve thought of the day when I could bring someone home to meet my sister; someone who meant something to me. I’m ridiculously happy that tonight was successful and that we could all be together and enjoy each other; our own self made family.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to take you away from your sister?”
“Don’t worry about her. I’ll follow you to your place.”
Bryan and Alex say their goodbyes, promising to see each other soon. Rachel takes Alex into another tight embrace, placing a sweet kiss on his cheek before whispering something to him. I glance at both of them in confusion. I’m so happy that I don’t even ask what that was about.
~~~~~
Parking next to the front entrance Alex jumps out and rushes to the passenger side. Waiting for me to join him, he gives me a hurried kiss before opening the door.
“Here are the keys, will you open the door?” Handing me his house key, Alex reaches into the passenger seat, lifting Nana into his arms. Being as small as a child, she’s cradled in his arms as he proceeds up the walkway. Watching him, I get a glimpse into our future; the future where we have our own family. I can imagine us arriving home after a long vacation out of town, our daughter asleep. Alex would carry her to her bedroom and tuck her in for the night.
He whispers over his shoulder, “Make yourself at home.” I sigh as I head towards the kitchen while Alex carries his grandmother down the hallway.
The familiar sound of Elvis echoes throughout Nana’s living room, this time the real Elvis is singing. Alex is going to be awhile and I need some water. Walking into the kitchen, my eyes immediately dart towards an ornate watch sitting on the counter. Obviously a females, and extremely expensive, I can’t help but gravitate towards it, it’s exquisite. The knotted band is decorated with tiny diamonds. Wait…I’ve seen this before.
“What are you playing with?” Not hearing Alex enter behind me, I jump, dropping the watch. Desperately, I pick it up to make sure I didn’t scratch it, or worse…break it.
After making sure I hadn’t hurt the posh piece, I lift it up to show Alex. “It was on your counter. I’ve seen this before.” Glancing at it sideways, a fuzzy memory of this specific watch is haunting me, but I can’t seem to place where I’ve seen it. It looks so familiar.
Grabbing the watch, Alex looks down at it, quickly dismissing the notion. “Probably from a magazine ad,” he murmurs. “It must be Delores’s. She’s usually good about picking up after herself, but she had a family emergency and left in such a rush. She won’t be back until Sunday evening. That’s why I had to bring Nana with me tonight.” Maybe that’s the reason he canceled on me at the last minute?
I don’t like to pry, but I feel like I’m missing something. “Looks expensive, you must pay her well.” Alex ignores me, placing the watch inside a drawer of the island he’s leaning against.
“Are you hungry?” I shake my head, a frown quickly spreading across my lips. “Tired?” I shake my head again. A nagging feeling is growing deep in my belly. “Hart…what’s up with the doom and gloom?” Alex approaches, encircling me with his arms.
“Just been a long weekend. I’ve been worried...” I might as well be upfront and honest with him.
“Worried?” he questions, puzzled.
“You canceled on me at the last minute. You showed up drunk. And then there was my confession and your non confessions. Just a lot to take in. I was a little worried you weren’t going to show up at Rachel’s.”
“I told you I wouldn’t miss it,” he protests, almost exasperatingly.
“Well, what made today different than last night?” I don’t give him time to answer before giving him the real reason I’m worried. I don’t know why I do this. I always push, and it’s not always a good thing. But I have let him in, now it’s his turn. “Alex, I feel like you’re keeping something from me.”
“Why can’t you just drop it? Why can’t we just have a nice night?” Alex releases me, stepping away as he rubs his hand over the back of his neck.
“I just can’t. I can’t shake the feeling that you’re keeping secrets from me.”
Time moves slowly as Alex fixes his eyes on mine. I don’t know what he’s thinking about, or what he’s about to say, but the irritation in his eyes boil over turning his serene crystal blue eyes into a blazing indigo.
“Fine! You really want to know what happened…what kept me away last night?” I nod, shocked by the escalation of Alex’s voice. “Someone I used to see showed up at my house. My grandmother was here, and I couldn’t just leave knowing Delores would have to deal with her. I had to make sure she left before I could go to you.”
My stomach is in knots. I knew there was something he was keeping from me. “Did you…did you do something with her? Is that why you were drinking?”
“God Elyssa, do you really want to hear the details?” Pl
ease lord, say he didn’t do anything.
“I need to know. I think I deserve to know.” I cross my arms waiting for an answer. Whatever it is, although I may not want to hear it, the truth will at least explain his erratic behavior. I’ve done nothing but trust him since the moment we met; I’m done with always giving in and not expecting anything in return. It’s his turn to show his scars. I know life has been cruel, but regardless of his past I deserve to know what’s going on. I just hope I can handle it.
With a sigh, Alex runs his hands through his hair. “She said she just wanted to talk, so I figured I would placate her and figure out what she wanted. So, I let her come inside. She wanted to know why I cut things off with her so abruptly, and why I haven’t called. I told her I met someone and I wasn’t interested any longer,” he pauses, looking at me. I’m not sure what Alex expects from me; maybe he hopes that those few words will appease my need. But no such luck, I remain still, arms still crossed over my chest.
“She tried to remind me of what I was missing not being with her.” My mouth drops open in shock and it takes a moment before I’m composed enough to ask for clarification.
“What does that mean?” I catch myself as I begin to yell; my voice slightly faltering.
“She threw herself at me,” he recounts, looking down at the floor.
“What do you mean, she threw herself at you?”
“Fuck, Elyssa. Do you want a play-by-play? Do you really want all of the gory details? Do you want me to tell you she was naked under her jacket? That when she removed it, I screamed at her?” A lump starts to develop in my throat as it becomes harder and harder to breathe. He told me I didn’t want to know.
“Did you fuck her?” Tears well in my eyes, as I pray the answer is no. Please let it be no.
“Elyssa, no…I told you I would never cheat on you.” Alex reaches out trying to bring me into an embrace.
I step back, out of his grasp. “Did you touch her?”