She was a phoenix.
A Christopher.
She was power.
For me, was this a beginning? Or an ending?
All I knew was darkness. Only peace.
Chapter
Nineteen
Laurel
The air blew through my hair, and flames cascaded down my arms. I tilted my head to the sky and tried to see the person who would not be there.
I saw no hawk. I would see no shifter coming toward me, holding me in his arms as he relished the fact that the curse was breaking, day by day, ash by ash.
Jaxton was gone.
I had killed him.
“Laurel, come inside.”
I shook my head at Sage’s demand, trying to formulate thoughts and words other than a deep sigh.
“I should stay out here. Just in case.”
Just in case.
As if Jaxton could actually come back.
He wouldn’t be able to. We all knew it. Nobody remained in the ring of burnt ember and ash. He wasn’t there. He had been taken, either by the magic or maybe by me, I didn’t know.
But in the aftermath of the revenant attack and my ascension for lack of a better word, he was gone.
And I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to move on.
“Laurel. Come inside. We’re not done looking for him. He’s not gone.”
I looked over my shoulder at Rowen and raised a brow. “Are you sure about that? It feels like he’s gone. We can’t see him. Once the flames died down and I stood there in all my newfound phoenix power, he was gone.”
“But it’s magic. Magic so old that most of us had forgotten it even existed.” Rowen raised her chin in defiance. “There’s still a chance.”
“Not if you look at the hawks. They kicked us off their land. They banished all of us, not just me. The wing blames me for killing their wing leader.”
“They’re hurting, but they don’t know what happened. Nobody does. We have to hope.”
I looked at Rowen closer then and wondered just how much hope she could have left. She had lost her connection to the love of her life. She’d lost her family one at a time until she was the only one left standing, the last of her line. She was the final Ravenwood, the one forced to put more of herself into keeping the town safe. The one who seemed to be in a losing battle to do so.
I was afraid to wonder how much of herself she had left for whatever came at us next.
“I don’t know if I have any hope left to give. He wasn’t supposed to die. He was supposed to let me save him. But that was Jaxton. He always had to be the one to save everyone else and never think of himself. The one time others thought he might be thinking of himself, they shunned him and tried to keep him away from me because they didn’t think I was good enough for him.”
“The hawks don’t understand what’s going on.” Sage sighed. “Not that we know much more than they do. But we’re going to try. We’re not giving up. We all knew going in that something could happen to us. Jaxton knew what he was doing.”
“Did he? He said that the bond we were slowly creating would save the town from my implosion, yet I couldn’t do it myself. He’s gone. And I’m somehow supposed to be okay with that? Somehow supposed to move on and fight to protect the town when no one wants me here?”
“Stop saying that,” Rowen snapped. “You think you’re the only one in pain? Do you think you’re the only one who lost someone? Look at us. Nobody is left unscarred or unmarred. But you are still standing. You’re a phoenix. You are a mythical being now. One with so much power running through you. I can feel you through the coven’s bond. I can feel that, Laurel. Use it. Protect this town. Avenge Jaxton, if that’s what it comes to. But we don’t know that he’s dead. We don’t.” Rowen’s eyes narrowed, magic swirling around her, and I knew she was grieving just as I was, though neither of us could say it.
“I don’t know where we go from here.” Sage looked between Rowen and me. “I only know that we need to go somewhere. We can’t stand here and wish. We can’t find Oriel or even uncover a trace of who he is or what he wants beyond the town’s power.”
“And why? Why does he want this? Why is he using so much of his magic against us and yet not actually being a part of it? We don’t even know if this guy exists.” Rowen shook her head, then pulled her hair back from her face into a messy bun on her crown. “All we know is people keep telling us that he’s the bad guy. That he’s the one who keeps sending his minions to us. But we really know nothing. And that’s killing me. I want to know who he is, what he wants, and whether he exists or not.”
I bit my lip. “I need to do that, too. I need to get over my pity party and help.” I slid my hands over my face and let out a scream. “I’ve been so lost in what could happen for so long. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I was a warrior. The one who could use flame and my sword to fight for those who needed me. Yet all I’ve been doing is wallowing. I’m sorry.” Hot tears burned my cheeks as I moved forward and took Rowen’s hand, then Sage’s. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Things hurt, and I don’t know who I am. I don’t know what it means that I’m a phoenix now.”
“Aren’t phoenixes supposed to fly?” Sage asked softly, and my heart broke. I swallowed hard. “Maybe. But flying was for him.” My voice broke. “Flying was for Jaxton. Why isn’t he here? Why did he sacrifice himself for this town? It should have been me. It always should have been me.”
“Well, with the way we keep getting attacked in our small town, it just might be the case soon.”
I winced. “I need time to think. To breathe. I’ll be back, I promise. To practice with the coven now that I have this new power. Now that I know I won’t kill myself and burn every time I need to use it. But it’s hard to think that every time I need to pull on the flame, I know it’s because of Jaxton. And he’s not here. I just need a moment.” My hands shook, but I could see that Rowen got it.
I wasn’t weeping. I wasn’t flailing on the ground, wishing for what I couldn’t have.
I might be broken, but it was anger that coursed through my veins. And if I weren’t careful, if I didn’t rein it in, along with the new power pulsating through my soul, I would hurt. Not myself but others.
And I had already taken Jaxton with me, even if he had done what he had always said he would do: protect the town with everything he could. I couldn’t do more than I already had.
“Go. Breathe. Then come back to your sisters. The town needs you. We need you. And we don’t know that he’s gone, Laurel. Not forever. Just remember who you are and who needs you.”
I swallowed hard and then pulled away from the girls, my entire body ready to break. I passed the alley behind our buildings, moved through the trees, got as close as I could to a sense of peace and normalcy. That didn’t exist, did it? It never would again.
Once the battle had died down, and the others had taken care of any revenants that got through, and William and Renee had slithered away like the demons and cowards they were, the wing had taken one look at me and turned their backs. It was as if they knew this would happen. And maybe they had. Maybe we all had. Maybe we understood that I would be the death of their wing leader, the end of the man I loved.
They wouldn’t talk to me now, and I knew there would need to be serious contemplation of who would be the next wing leader once they finally allowed themselves to grieve Jaxton’s death. I wanted to know exactly how they would fight within the aerie.
Would they run away? Would they save themselves and leave Ravenwood? It wasn’t as if the elders hadn’t wanted to do that already, for longer than I cared to admit.
If the wing left Ravenwood, that would lower our defenses. But maybe that was for the best. If Oriel came for the town’s magic, maybe keeping the hawks indeed safe and away from the town itself was the only way.
I couldn’t focus, couldn’t think.
All I could do was see Jaxton’s face as he looked at me with peace and hope as if he were going to
wait for me on the other side. Only I hadn’t followed him.
And then his face melded to Nelle’s, and I saw the anger etched on her features.
Aspen had taken her away, though not to the wing. I wasn’t sure if she would ever be welcome there again, not without Jaxton’s presence. Another nail in my coffin.
I didn’t know if Nelle had gone back to her people in the water or to the faes’ compound on the other side of town. I had never stepped foot on that land, as it hadn’t been my place. Though Rowen had, and now Ash as well.
I had seen the accusation on Nelle’s face. I knew she blamed me. She couldn’t blame fate. Why not the person who had actually burned him?
Anger erupted from me, and my toes lifted from the ground, giant, fiery wings erupting from my back. I threw my head back and screamed, flames dancing and winding around me as if I had been born for this purpose.
I was a phoenix, and I had no idea what my powers were. I only knew it would take years for me to grow into them and learn what I could do.
The anger within me broke, and I pushed forward, my flames pouring into the tree in front of me.
If it was a decayed one, one not long for this earth, then the disease on it had to be excised before it hurt the others around it.
Just like I was a disease to my coven.
The tree burned before falling to ash and soot.
I fell to my knees, tears sliding down my cheeks as I mourned.
No matter what Rowen said, Jaxton wasn’t coming back.
I had been born again through flame, and he had been the sacrifice the fates needed for the coven to have my power.
I didn’t know if I could forgive myself for that.
“Having fun burning things? Knowing that you’re never going to be strong enough?”
I whirled, my hand going for my sword, only to find it wasn’t there. I always had my sword on me, and yet I had left it behind.
So quick, I was relying on my powers—ones I didn’t know if I would ever fully control—instead of the blade that had served me well for so long.
I stood, balls of flame in my palms as Renee shook her finger at me. “I only want to talk, little phoenix. I don’t want trouble.”
“You constantly attack our town, and you say you don’t want trouble?”
“I haven’t hurt you, have I? No, the world seems safe enough. Your little town isn’t on fire. And we both know I could do that. After all, aren’t you the one who can burn this town to its final beams and twigs before you walk away unharmed? I can feel the power burning within you. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could control it?”
“What do you want, Renee?”
“I want you to know that there is a way to control it. Though you’re not going to like the answer.”
“I’m not using dark magic and becoming a necromancer to control this,” I spat. “I am a phoenix. I am a fire witch. And I am coven. I am stronger than you will ever be.”
Renee threw her head back and laughed. “Oh, you’re laughable. I mean, really? You’ve never been stronger than me.”
“I don’t even know you.”
“Of course, you do. Don’t you remember the little witch who came to town when you were a little girl? You never noticed me. No, you only wanted to play with your best friend and your brother. You trailed around after that little hawk boy and the little bear that I don’t see around town. Didn’t you wonder if it hurt when he died? I hear Faith rose him from the dead again, another revenant to play with. I’m only sad that I wasn’t there to see it and be a part of it.”
My hand shot out, flames speeding towards her. Renee flicked it off as if she weren’t even trying hard.
“I’m not done talking. We can play later.”
“All of this because I didn’t play with you when you were a little kid? I don’t even remember you.”
“Of course, you don’t. Because your precious coven already had a fire witch. They didn’t need two.”
“We weren’t even a coven back then.” I didn’t even remember this woman. But, apparently, I had hurt her in some way. “I’m sorry if I hurt you. Truly. But we were children, if what you’re saying is true. We weren’t a coven. We hadn’t come into our magic. When did we meet?”
“Outside the café that’s no longer there. Apparently, it burned down in a fire when we were five or so.”
She winked as she said it and my stomach rolled. “You were five when you burned that down?” I remembered the little café with its dark, iron tables and happy pink colors. They’d had cupcakes and sandwiches and afternoon tea for those who wanted it.
And it had burned to the ground. The owners, an older pair of witches who had just wanted to be part of a magical place, had decided not to rebuild.
They had moved away a few years after, wanting to be closer to their children, who hadn’t been born with magic and hadn’t wanted to live surrounded by it.
Ravenwood was dying, taking its magic with it, and I knew it was because of the curse of the town and the curse of the Christophers.
One that had pushed Sage away.
Something that had tried to kill me and had broken Ash.
Now, the curse that spoke of darkness, that warned it would come for us and break Ravenwood open, exposing it to the darkness itself, was attached to Rowen.
And her soul was attached to the town. So when the Ravenwood broke, so would she.
We were thrice cursed, thrice broken, and I had to hope there was a way out of it. A way to breathe.
But I couldn’t think about any of that right now. I had to focus on the witch in front of me.
“Fire to fire, little witch? I’d love to see you burn baby burn. You rose as a phoenix from the ashes, even though you should have died long ago from the Christopher curse. It seems that fate likes to throw us curveballs, but that is fine. You don’t know your magic. And remember, I’m a necromancer. A higher one. That means I can pull revenants from spirits and bodies. I can control them all, as well as the darkness. You don’t give in to that, even though you should if you want to be a true phoenix. That means I will always beat you. I am the more powerful one. You just have to remember that.”
And then Renee lifted her hands, palms up, and deep shadows and fog crept over the land.
This was the fog of a necromancer. It didn’t matter what element they held. It was what pushed it forward.
While Faith had been a water witch, she could also use the necromancer fog because she had tainted her soul with that darkness.
It seemed that Renee was no different.
Revenants began pouring through the fog, the shuffling echoing in my ears. I was alone out here, a situation of my own making, but I would not let these revenants or this fire bitch hurt my town. My family.
They had already taken Jaxton from me. I had already taken Jaxton. I wouldn’t let them take anything else.
I shot my first fire dagger at them, slicing through one revenant. Renee clapped, dancing in place as she did a cartwheel and shot out more flame from the balls of her feet. Renee was powerful, but I would be a power.
I would avenge Jaxton’s death if it were the last thing I did. I would make sure that nobody else died by a fire witch or me again.
I moved forward through the darkness, using my flame as a beacon to take out one revenant after another. They fell, their bodies broken husks. Renee wasn’t using the shades, and I had to be thankful for that. To fight the revenants and the ghosts, I would need a full coven, and I wasn’t there yet.
I only had to hope that Rowen felt the disturbance within the wards and would come to help.
Or…I could do this on my own. I had access to powers I hadn’t before. I could do this without hurting myself or others, unless that’s what I wanted to do.
I wasn’t cursed anymore. The darkness that lay behind me had taken everything from me. Now, I had to look to the future. And I had to fight.
I took out another revenant and then another. Blood splattered my clothes as I
moved forward, trying to get to Renee, but she was too fast. She was pulling on the powers of a necromancer, and I knew that she would fade shortly.
While the power of a necromancer was strong, it didn’t last. It fed on the witch’s soul, and there was only so much soul to use before you broke completely.
Either Renee would leave once she sputtered out, or she would die. And I didn’t think she would let that happen.
Revenants surrounded me, and I cursed, only just now noticing that the fog closed us in the circle.
Somehow, Renee was keeping the others from me. I was alone.
I had to be stronger than this.
Somehow.
Fire scorched my arm, and I cursed, annoyed that I got distracted by a revenant and allowed Renee to get too close.
I couldn’t focus on her and the revenants simultaneously, but I had to do this. Flames erupted from my hands, and I pushed them forward, fighting back.
Suddenly, something came out of the darkness, and I nearly tripped over my feet.
Dozens of revenants surrounded me. I pushed back, fighting, trying to make it through before looking up at…Jaxton.
He was here. Whole. He’d come through the darkness alive. He winked at me and then pulled out a sword, my sword. I had left it at home. Or had I? Had it burned in the fire? I didn’t remember. I felt like I was dreaming.
Jaxton cut down a revenant and then another, and I moved towards him, trying to get closer, needing to see if this was a mirage or something real.
Renee looked between us, her eyes wide before she cursed, and then she ran. I moved after her, but the fog thickened, pushing me back. This was magic I wasn’t strong enough to fight because I wasn’t a necromancer and refused to go dark. I took down the last revenant and then hurried towards Jaxton—or at least the person I thought could be him.
He was fighting, breathing. He didn’t scent of a revenant.
I couldn’t focus.
Dusk Unveiled (Ravenwood Coven Book 2) Page 15