by Fanny Burney
CHAPTER viii
A MISTAKE.
Mean time young Delvile failed not to honour Cecilia's introductionof him to Mr Harrel, by waiting upon that gentleman as soon as the illeffects of his accident at the Pantheon permitted him to leave his ownhouse. Mr Harrel, though just going out when he called, was desirous ofbeing upon good terms with his family, and therefore took him up stairsto present him to his lady, and invited him to tea and cards the nextevening.
Cecilia, who was with Mrs Harrel, did not see him without emotion; whichwas not much lessened by the task of thanking him for his assistance atthe Pantheon, and enquiring how he had himself fared. No sign, however,of emotion appeared in return, either when he first addressed, orafterwards answered her: the look of solicitude with which she had beenso much struck when they last parted was no longer discernible, and thevoice of sensibility which had removed all her doubts, was no longer tobe heard. His general ease, and natural gaiety were again unruffled, andthough he had never seemed really indifferent to her, there was not theleast appearance of any added partiality.
Cecilia felt an involuntary mortification as she observed this change:yet, upon reflection, she still attributed his whole behaviour to hismistake with respect to her situation, and therefore was but the moregratified by the preference he occasionally betrayed.
The invitation for the next evening was accepted, and Cecilia, for once,felt no repugnance to joining the company. Young Delvile again was inexcellent spirits; but though his chief pleasure was evidently derivedfrom conversing with her, she had the vexation to observe that he seemedto think her the undoubted property of the Baronet, always retreatingwhen he approached, and as careful, when next her, to yield his place ifhe advanced, as, when he was distant, to guard it from all others.
But when Sir Robert was employed at cards, all scruples ceasing, heneglected not to engross her almost wholly. He was eager to speak toher of the affairs of Mr Belfield, which he told her wore now a betteraspect. The letter, indeed, of recommendation which he had shewn to her,had failed, as the nobleman to whom it was written had already enteredinto an engagement for his son; but he had made application elsewherewhich he believed would be successful, and he had communicated hisproceedings to Mr Belfield, whose spirits he hoped would recover by thisprospect of employment and advantage. "It is, however, but too true,"he added, "that I have rather obtained his consent to the steps I amtaking, than his approbation of them: nor do I believe, had I previouslyconsulted him, I should have had even that. Disappointed in his higherviews, his spirit is broken, and he is heartless and hopeless, scarcecondescending to accept relief, from the bitter remembrance that heexpected preferment. Time, however, will blunt this acute sensibility,and reflection will make him blush at this unreasonable delicacy. But wemust patiently soothe him till he is more himself, or while we mean toserve, we shall only torment him. Sickness, sorrow, and poverty have allfallen heavily upon him, and they have all fallen at once: we must not,therefore, wonder to find him intractable, when his mind is as muchdepressed, as his body is enervated."
Cecilia, to whom his candour and generosity always gave fresh delight,strengthened his opinions by her concurrence, and confirmed his designsby the interest which she took in them.
From this time, he found almost daily some occasion for calling inPortman-square. The application of Cecilia in favour of Mr Belfield gavehim a right to communicate to her all his proceedings concerning him;and he had some letter to shew, some new scheme to propose, some refusalto lament, or some hope to rejoice over, almost perpetually: or evenwhen these failed, Cecilia had a cold, which he came to enquireafter, or Mrs Harrel gave him an invitation, which rendered any excuseunnecessary. But though his intimacy with Cecilia was encreased, thoughhis admiration of her was conspicuous, and his fondness for her societyseemed to grow with the enjoyment of it, he yet never manifested anydoubt of her engagement with the Baronet, nor betrayed either intentionor desire to supplant him. Cecilia, however, repined not much at themistake, since she thought it might be instrumental to procuring hera more impartial acquaintance with his character, than she couldrationally expect, if, as she hoped, the explanation of his error shouldmake him seek her good opinion with more study and design.
To satisfy herself not only concerning the brother but the sister, sheagain visited Miss Belfield, and had the pleasure of finding her inbetter spirits, and hearing that the _noble friend_ of her brother, whomshe had already mentioned, and whom Cecilia had before suspected to beyoung Delvile, had now pointed out to him a method of conduct bywhich his affairs might be decently retrieved, and himself creditablyemployed. Miss Belfield spoke of the plan with the highest satisfaction;yet she acknowledged that her mother was extremely discontented with it,and that her brother himself was rather led by shame than inclination toits adoption. Yet he was evidently easier in his mind, though far fromhappy, and already so much better, that Mr Rupil said he would very soonbe able to leave his room.
Such was the quiet and contented situation of Cecilia, when one evening,which was destined for company at home, while she was alone in thedrawing-room, which Mrs Harrel had just left to answer a note, SirRobert Floyer accidentally came up stairs before the other gentlemen.
"Ha!" cried he, the moment he saw her, "at last have I the good fortuneto meet with you alone! this, indeed, is a favour I thought I was alwaysto be denied."
He was then approaching her; but Cecilia, who shrunk involuntarily atthe sight of him, was retreating hastily to quit the room, when suddenlyrecollecting that no better opportunity might ever offer for afinal explanation with him, she irresolutely stopt; and Sir Robert,immediately following, took her hand, and pressing it to his lips asshe endeavoured to withdraw it, exclaimed, "You are a most charmingcreature!" when the door was opened, and young Delvile at the samemoment was announced and appeared.
Cecilia, colouring violently, and extremely chagrined, hastilydisengaged herself from his hold. Delvile seemed uncertain whether heought not to retire, which Sir Robert perceiving, bowed to him with anair of mingled triumph and vexation, and said, "Sir your most obedient!"
The doubt, however, in which every one appeared of what was next tobe done, was immediately removed by the return of Mrs Harrel, and thearrival at almost the same moment of more company.
The rest of the evening was spent, on the part of Cecilia, mostpainfully: the explanation she had planned had ended in worse thannothing, for by suffering the Baronet to detain her, she had rathershewn a disposition to oblige, than any intention to discard him; andthe situation in which she had been surprised by young Delvile, was thelast to clear the suspicions she so little wished him to harbour: while,on his part, the accident seemed to occasion no other alteration thanthat of rendering him more than usually assiduous to give way to SirRobert whenever he approached her.
Nor was Sir Robert slack in taking advantage of this attention: he washighly in spirits, talked to her with more than common freedom, and worethe whole evening an air of exulting satisfaction.
Cecilia, provoked by this presumption, hurt by the behaviour of youngDelvile, and mortified by the whole affair, determined to leave thismistake no longer in the power of accident, but to apply immediatelyto Mr Delvile senior, and desire him, as her guardian, to wait upon SirRobert himself, and acquaint him that his perseverance in pursuing herwas both useless and offensive: and by this method she hoped at onceto disentangle herself for ever from the Baronet, and to discover morefully the sentiments of young Delvile: for the provocation she hadjust endured, robbed her of all patience for waiting the advice of MrMonckton.
CHAPTER ix
AN EXPLANATION.
The following morning, therefore, Cecilia went early to StJames's-square: and, after the usual ceremonies of messages and longwaiting, she was shewn into an apartment where she found Mr Delvile andhis son.
She rejoiced to see them together, and determined to make known to themboth the purport of her visit: and therefore, after some apologies and alittle hesitation, she t
old Mr Delvile, that encouraged by his offers ofserving her, she had taken the liberty to call upon him with a view toentreat his assistance.
Young Delvile, immediately arising, would have quitted the room; butCecilia, assuring him she rather desired what she had to say should beknown than kept secret, begged that he would not disturb himself.
Delvile, pleased with this permission to hear her, and curious to knowwhat would follow, very readily returned to his seat.
"I should by no means," she continued, "have thought of proclaimingeven to the most intimate of my friends, the partiality which Sir RobertFloyer has been pleased to shew me, had he left to me the choice ofpublishing or concealing it: but, on the contrary, his own behaviourseems intended not merely to display it, but to insinuate that itmeets with my approbation. Mr Harrel, also, urged by too much warmthof friendship, has encouraged this belief; nor, indeed, do I know atpresent where the mistake stops, nor what it is report has not scrupledto affirm. But I think I ought no longer to neglect it, and thereforeI have presumed to solicit your advice in what manner I may mosteffectually contradict it."
The extreme surprise of young Delvile at this speech was not moreevident than pleasant to Cecilia, to whom it accounted for all that hadperplext her in his conduct, while it animated every expectation shewished to encourage.
"The behaviour of Mr Harrel," answered Mr Delvile, "has by no means beensuch as to lead me to forget that his father was the son of a steward ofMr Grant, who lived in the neighbourhood of my friend and relation theDuke of Derwent: nor can I sufficiently congratulate myself that I havealways declined acting with him. The late Dean, indeed, never committedso strange an impropriety as that of nominating Mr Harrel and Mr Briggscoadjutors with Mr Delvile. The impropriety, however, though extremelyoffensive to me, has never obliterated from my mind the esteem Ibore the Dean: nor can I possibly give a greater proof of it than thereadiness I have always shewn to offer my counsel and instruction to hisniece. Mr Harrel, therefore, ought certainly to have desired Sir RobertFloyer to acquaint me with his proposals before he gave to him anyanswer."
"Undoubtedly, Sir," said Cecilia, willing to shorten this paradingharangue, "but as he neglected that intention, will you think me tooimpertinent should I entreat the favour of you to speak with Sir Robertyourself, and explain to him the total inefficacy of his pursuit, sincemy determination against him is unalterable?"
Here the conference was interrupted by the entrance of a servant whosaid something to Mr Delvile, which occasioned his apologizing toCecilia for leaving her for a few moments, and ostentatiously assuringher that no business, however important, should prevent his thinking ofher affairs, or detain him from returning to her as soon as possible.
The astonishment of young Delvile at the strength of her last expressionkept him silent some time after his father left the room; and then, witha countenance that still marked his amazement, he said "Is it possible,Miss Beverley, that I should twice have been thus egregiously deceived?or rather, that the whole town, and even the most intimate of yourfriends, should so unaccountably have persisted in a mistake."
"For the town," answered Cecilia, "I know not how it can have had anyconcern in so small a matter; but for my intimate friends, I havetoo few to make it probable they should ever have been so strangelymisinformed."
"Pardon me," cried he, "it was from one who ought to know, that I hadmyself the intelligence."
"I entreat you, then," said Cecilia, "to acquaint me who it was?"
"Mr Harrel himself; who communicated it to a lady in my hearing, and ata public place."
Cecilia cast up her eyes in wonder and indignation at a proof soincontrovertible of his falsehood, but made not any answer.
"Even yet," continued he, "I can scarcely feel undeceived;your engagement seemed so positive, your connection soirretrievable,--so,--so _fixed_, I mean.--"
He hesitated, a little embarrassed; but then suddenly exclaimed, "Yetwhence, if to _neither_ favourable, if indifferent alike to Sir Robertand to Belfield, whence that animated apprehension for their safety atthe Opera-house? whence that never to be forgotten _oh stop him! goodGod! will nobody stop him!_--Words of anxiety so tender! and sounds thatstill vibrate in my ear!"
Cecilia, struck with amazement in her turn at the strength of his ownexpressions, blushed, and for a few minutes hesitated how to answer him:but then, to leave nothing that related to so disagreeable a report inany doubt, she resolved to tell him ingenuously the circumstances thathad occasioned her alarm: and therefore, though with some pain to hermodesty, she confessed her fears that she had herself provoked theaffront, though her only view had been to discountenance Sir Robert,without meaning to shew any distinction to Mr Belfield.
Delvile, who seemed charmed with the candour of this explanation, said,when she had finished it, "You are then at liberty?---Ah madam!--howmany may rue so dangerous a discovery!"
"Could you think," said Cecilia, endeavouring to speak with her usualease, "that Sir Robert Floyer would be found so irresistible?"
"Oh no!" cried he, "far otherwise; a thousand times I have wondered athis happiness; a thousand times, when I have looked at you, andlistened to you, I have thought it impossible!--yet my authority seemedindisputable. And how was I to discredit what was not uttered as aconjecture, but asserted as a fact? asserted, too, by the guardian withwhom you lived? and not hinted as a secret, but affirmed as a pointsettled?"
"Yet surely," said Cecilia, "you have heard me make use of expressionsthat could not but lead you to suppose there was some mistake, whatevermight be the authority which had won your belief."
"No," answered he, "I never supposed any mistake, though sometimes Ithought you repented your engagement. I concluded, indeed, you hadbeen unwarily drawn in, and I have even, at times, been tempted toacknowledge my suspicions to you, state your independence, and exhortyou--as a _friend_, exhort you--to use it with spirit, and, if you wereshackled unwillingly, incautiously, or unworthily, to break the chainsby which you were confined, and restore to yourself that freedom ofchoice upon the use of which all your happiness must ultimately depend.But I doubted if this were honourable to the Baronet,--and what, indeed,was my right to such a liberty? none that every man might not be proudof, a wish to do honour to myself, under the officious pretence ofserving the most amiable of women."
"Mr Harrel," said Cecilia, "has been so strangely bigoted to his friend,that in his eagerness to manifest his regard for him, he seems to haveforgotten every other consideration; he would not, else, have spread sowidely a report that could so ill stand enquiry."
"If Sir Robert," returned he, "is himself deceived while he deceivesothers, who can forbear to pity him? for my own part, instead ofrepining that hitherto I have been mistaken, ought I not rather to blessan error that may have been my preservative from danger?"
Cecilia, distressed in what manner to support her part in theconversation, began now to wish the return of Mr Delvile; and, notknowing what else to say, she expressed her surprise at his longabsence.
"It is not, indeed, well timed," said young Delvile, "just now,--atthe moment when--" he stopt, and presently exclaiming "Oh dangerousinterval!" he arose from his seat in manifest disorder.
Cecilia arose too, and hastily ringing the bell, said, "Mr Delvile I amsure is detained, and therefore I will order my chair, and call anothertime."
"Do I frighten you away?" said he, assuming an appearance more placid.
"No," answered she, "but I would not hasten Mr Delvile."
A servant then came, and said the chair was ready.
She would immediately have followed him, but young Delvile againspeaking, she stopt a moment to hear him. "I fear," said he, with muchhesitation, "I have strangely exposed myself--and that you cannot--butthe extreme astonishment--" he stopt again in the utmost confusion, andthen adding, "you will permit me to attend you to the chair," he handedher down stairs, and in quitting her, bowed without saying a word more.
Cecilia, who was almost wholly indifferent to
every part of theexplanation but that which had actually passed, was now in a state offelicity more delightful than any she had ever experienced. She had nota doubt remaining of her influence over the mind of young Delvile, andthe surprise which had made him rather betray than express his regard,was infinitely more flattering and satisfactory to her than any formalor direct declaration. She had now convinced him she was disengaged, andin return, though without seeming to intend it, he had convinced her ofthe deep interest which he took in the discovery. His perturbation, thewords which escaped him, and his evident struggle to say no more, wereproofs just such as she wished to receive of his partial admiration,since while they satisfied her heart, they also soothed her pride, byshewing a diffidence of success which assured her that her own secretwas still sacred, and that no weakness or inadvertency on her part hadrobbed her of the power of mingling dignity with the frankness withwhich she meant to receive his addresses. All, therefore, that nowemployed her care, was to keep off any indissoluble engagement till eachshould be better known to the other.
For this reserve, however, she had less immediate occasion than sheexpected; she saw no more of young Delvile that day; neither did heappear the next. The third she fully expected him,--but still he camenot. And while she wondered at an absence so uncommon, she receiveda note from Lord Ernolf, to beg permission to wait upon her for twominutes, at any time she would appoint.
She readily sent word that she should be at home for the rest of theday, as she wished much for an opportunity of immediately finishingevery affair but one, and setting her mind at liberty to think only ofthat which she desired should prosper.
Lord Ernolf was with her in half an hour. She found him sensible andwell bred, extremely desirous to promote her alliance with his son,and apparently as much pleased with herself as with her fortune. Heacquainted her that he had addressed himself to Mr Harrel long since,but had been informed that she was actually engaged to Sir RobertFloyer: he should, therefore, have forborn taking up any part ofher time, had he not, on the preceding day, while on a visit at MrDelvile's, been assured that Mr Harrel was mistaken, and that she hadnot yet declared for any body. He hoped, therefore, that she would allowhis son the honour of waiting upon her, and permit him to talk with MrBriggs, who he understood was her acting guardian, upon such matters asought to be speedily adjusted.
Cecilia thanked him for the honour he intended her, and confirmed thetruth of the account he had heard in St James'-square, but at the sametime told him she must decline receiving any visits from his lordship'sson, and entreated him to take no measure towards the promotion of anaffair which never could succeed.
He seemed much concerned at her answer, and endeavoured for some time tosoften her, but found her so steady, though civil in her refusal, thathe was obliged, however unwillingly, to give up his attempt.
Cecilia, when he was gone, reflected with much vexation on the readinessof the Delviles to encourage his visit; she considered, however, thatthe intelligence he had heard might possibly be gathered in generalconversation; but she blamed herself that she had not led to someenquiry what part of the family he had seen, and who was present whenthe information was given him.
Mean while she found that neither coldness, distance, nor aversion weresufficient to repress Sir Robert Floyer, who continued to persecute herwith as much confidence of success as could have arisen from the utmostencouragement. She again, though with much difficulty, contrivedto speak with Mr Harrel upon the subject, and openly accused him ofspreading a report abroad, as well as countenancing an expectation athome, that had neither truth nor justice to support them.
Mr Harrel, with his usual levity and carelessness, laughed at thecharge, but denied any belief in her displeasure, and affected to thinkshe was merely playing the coquet, while Sir Robert was not the less herdecided choice.
Provoked and wearied, Cecilia resolved no longer to depend upon any bodybut herself for the management of her own affairs, and therefore, toconclude the business without any possibility of further cavilling, shewrote the following note to Sir Robert herself.
_To Sir Robert Floyer, Bart._
Miss BEVERLEY presents her compliments to Sir Robert Floyer, and as shehas some reason to fear Mr Harrel did not explicitly acquaint him withher answer to the commission with which he was entrusted, she thinks itnecessary, in order to obviate any possible misunderstanding, to takethis method of returning him thanks for the honour of his good opinion,but of begging at the same time that he would not lose a moment upon heraccount, as her thanks are all she can now, or ever, offer in return.
_Portman-square,_ _May_ 11th, 1779.
To this note Cecilia received no answer: but she had the pleasure toobserve that Sir Robert forbore his usual visit on the day she sent it,and, though he appeared again the day following, he never spoke to herand seemed sullen and out of humour.
Yet still young Delvile came not, and still, as her surprise encreased,her tranquillity was diminished. She could form no excuse for his delay,nor conjecture any reason for his absence. Every motive seemed to favourhis seeking, and not one his shunning her: the explanation which had solately passed had informed him he had no rival to fear, and the mannerin which he had heard it assured her the information was not indifferentto him; why, then, so assiduous in his visits when he thought herengaged, and so slack in all attendance when he knew she was at liberty?