Jacaranda

by Mandy Magro

  Chapter 6

  When she woke up Molly felt like a freight train was tearing through her head, tooting its horn loudly for good measure. She rolled over, blinking her bleary eyes, to check the time on her bedside clock. Strewth! she thought. It was ten o’clock. After waking up before dawn every morning, this was what she called a sleep in.

  She was still wearing her clothes from the night before, including her boots, and her feet ached like hell. She smelt like cigarettes, alcohol and sweat. Not a good combination. There was something foreign stuck to the front of her shirt too, perhaps remnants of the sausage roll she’d devoured at some point last night. She ran her tongue over her furry teeth, thinking how much she would kill for a drink of water and a toothbrush.

  Molly willed her body to stand up but the fear of a smashing headache kept her horizontal for a bit longer. Her thoughts wandered back over the events of last night, the memories stealing the breath from her. Running into Mark after all these years … and then sharing the earth-trembling kiss with Heath. It all felt so surreal. Why did Heath decide to kiss her like that, now, after years of being mates? Especially considering he knew how close she and Jenny had been. Was it lust on his part, or loneliness, or something more? And how did she feel about him? Were the strange sensations she was experiencing around Heath because of deeper feelings, or was the longing to be loved overcoming her, making her not think straight? And Mark, just reappearing back in her life like a genie out of a bottle. For goodness sake! It never rains but it pours. What did she want to come of all of this? Anything, nothing, everything? Be careful what you wish for, she thought. Be very, very careful.

  Molly allowed her mind to flicker over the lighter parts of the evening, trying to distract herself from the heavy thinking. Her head hurt too much for that right now. Good old Kenny – talk about a laugh a minute; the recollection of him running around butt-naked in the middle of the Bull Bar parking lot with his red jocks hanging off the top of his head made her chuckle. He’d then proceeded to dance like Peter Garret while singing ‘Blue Sky Mine’ at the top of his lungs. She even had a giggle at her own expense, remembering how she almost fell back down the front steps of her own home when she was blinded by the powerful sensor light on the verandah. Ah, New Year’s Eve 2011. ‘Oh, what a night’ had taken on a whole new meaning.

  Molly forced herself out of bed so she could go and have a long, hot shower, an extra-strong cuppa and a greasy bacon sandwich. It might help her feel a bit better. Being vertical made her head throb even more but she didn’t expect any pity. She had done it to herself, even though she hadn’t really drunk that much compared to what she used to.

  She opened her curtains to let in the sunlight, squinting as the rays poured in like liquid gold. She could see the round yard from where she stood and David and Rose were already out there, working with one of the horses. She gazed lovingly at her daughter. Rose was sitting on the rails in exactly the same spot that Molly used to sit on when she was a kid.

  David had mentioned last night that he’d be needing the round yard first thing, and then it was all hers. Molly couldn’t wait to get out there and show Rose how far Buck had come in the last week. He had progressed in leaps and bounds. Gazing at Rose now, so adorable in her little boots and big shady hat, Molly felt a wave of panic at the very thought of having to tell Mark everything, and her grandparents. She sat down on the end of bed and thought seriously about what she should do, about what would be best for her precious girl.

  Would telling Mark about Rose straightaway be wise? What if he never wanted to see her? Or even worse, what if he decided to get to know her and then just disappeared out of their lives? How would she explain that to her little daughter without breaking her heart? She was excited for Rose, but she couldn’t bear for her daughter’s heart – or her own – to be broken. Or what if Mark absolutely fell in love with Rose – who wouldn’t? – and, as her legal father, winded up wanting to take her away somewhere? For Molly, that would be like somebody grabbing a knife and stabbing her in the heart.

  No, Molly decided, telling Mark straightaway was too risky. She would have to get to know him better before she broke the news to him. What difference did a few more weeks make, after waiting years for him? She also decided not to tell her grandparents yet. They would only worry, and it would put too much pressure on her and the whole situation if they knew. Molly was so deep in thought she just about hit the roof when her mobile rang. She took a quick look at the number and smiled.

  ‘Hi, Jade. How are you feeling this fine morning?’ Molly said as she rubbed the sore spots on her feet.

  ‘Hey, Molly. I’m surprised I’ve pulled up pretty good this morning. More importantly, though, how are you feeling? Especially about the whole Mark thing? Must have been a bit of a shock running into him, hey?’

  ‘Yeah, I’m a bit stressed out about it, Jade. You know me, I worry about anything involving the opposite sex, particularly when they’re the father of my child …’

  ‘Aw, Mol, I knew it’d be concerning you, which is normal given the circumstances, mate. Try not to let it get to you too much, though. It will all work out for the best. You’ve just got to find the right time to tell him. If that’s what you decide to do.’

  ‘I think I’m going to wait a little while, get to know him. What do you reckon?’

  ‘Sounds like a great idea. Just follow your instincts and take your time. Hey, do you fancy doing something with the blokes this afternoon, once you’ve finished working on Buck with Rose? It might take your mind off things; let you relax for a while. Maybe we could all go for a ride down to the river and chuck in a line. It’d be nice to have a feed of fresh fish for dinner tonight.’

  ‘That sounds great, Jade. Count me in. I should be finished around three.’

  ‘Excellent. Can you let the guys know that I’ll be around about four-ish? Would that be okay for you? I’ve got some goss to tell you about me and Mel as well. I’m so thrilled that I’ve met her!’

  ‘Ooh, that sounds interesting. I’ll see you then, mate.’

  ‘Okay, Molly. Catch you,’ Jade replied, hanging up the phone.

  On her way to the shower Molly found her grandmother waiting for her in the kitchen with a fresh pot of coffee.

  ‘Happy New Year, love,’ Elizabeth said, smiling. ‘Did you have a good time last night?’

  ‘Happy New Year to you too, Grandma. Yes, it was a great night, but I’ve got a massive headache this morning. It’s self-inflicted though, so no sympathy expected,’ Molly said as she leant in to give Elizabeth a hug and kiss.

  ‘Pooh! You smell like an ashtray, love! Did you smoke last night?’ Elizabeth asked, sniffing the air around Molly like it was hazardous.

  Molly shook her head firmly. When David had busted her at seventeen sneaking a ciggie in the stables, he’d sat her down and made her smoke the whole packet in front of him. It had worked a treat. She had gotten down to the last two cigarettes before running to the toilet to throw up. It had put her off being a smoker for life. ‘No, Grandma. Not one cigarette for me last night, but the place was full of smokers. That’s why I’m heading for a shower. I know I pong!’ Molly dashed for the bathroom, acutely aware of how dreadful she must look, still in her clothes from last night.

  After breakfast with Elizabeth, Molly headed out into the sunshine to begin her day with Rose. She found Skip on the front lawn playing with the puppies and realised that she was missing a boot. One was where she’d left it on the verandah last night, but the other one was missing in action. After five minutes of searching she found the boot amongst her grandmother’s prized roses, which were looking the worse for wear. She had forgotten that puppies loved chewing on shoes. She made a mental note to leave her boots up higher next time so the little blighters couldn’t get to them. She tried to straighten the roses up as best she could after the puppies’ obvious frolic, mumbling to herself not to forget to fence that area off so they couldn’t get into it. Grandma would have a fit if the
puppies ruined her beloved garden.

  Rose squealed and came running when she saw her mum, her arms outstretched, ready for a big hug. Molly crouched down to Rose’s height so she could give her a big squeeze.

  ‘Good morning, my sweetheart. Happy New Year! Have you been good for Granddad and Grandma?’

  Rose nodded enthusiastically. ‘I’ve been extra good because Grandma said she’d take me into town for some ice-cream this afternoon if I was a good girl.’

  ‘That sounds great. What flavour are you going to have, princess?’ Molly asked as she ruffled her daughter’s wild hair affectionately.

  ‘My favourite, of course! Triple choc chip!’

  David wandered over, looking as though he had finished his work for the morning. Molly knew that he’d be looking forward to an early lunch and an afternoon nap before going out and spraying the crops with fertiliser tonight. There was constantly plenty to do on the farm, but David thrived on the work, forever telling Molly it made him content at the end of the day when he’d been out getting his hands dirty. It was in his blood to be out on the land everyday, just like it was in hers.

  Molly smiled up at David from where she was sitting with Rose, playing with Skip and the puppies. ‘Happy New Year, Granddad. Thanks so much for looking after Rose. I really appreciate it. We had a brilliant night.’

  ‘No need to thank me. It was my pleasure. I love having Rose’s company. She keeps me on my toes. I’m glad you had a good night out, love. You deserved a break. You don’t get to go out that often any more.’ David turned to Rose. ‘Well, I’m going in now, little mate. Thanks for coming out and helping me.’

  ‘You’re welcome, GG!’

  Molly stood up, one of the puppies wriggling tirelessly in her arms. ‘After I finish working with Buck I’m thinking of heading out for a ride and a spot of fishing, Granddad, Just for an hour or so, that’s if there’s nothing you need me to do. It sounds like Grandma and Rose are heading into town for some ice-cream so I have a bit of free time up my sleeves. I might even catch some fish for dinner if we’re lucky.’

  ‘That’s fine with me, Molly. Have fun. Try and catch me a barra. We’ll see you later on then,’ David answered cheerfully.

  ‘See you, GG,’ Rose said, blowing him a kiss. David pretended to catch it, holding it close to his heart and smiling affectionately.

  Trev and Heath were out on the front patio of the workers’ cottage when Molly and Rose got there. Trev was hosing it off and Heath was hanging out a load of washing. Molly felt a flutter in her stomach when she recalled the kiss she had shared with Heath last night. She tried to push it to the back of her mind but it refused to stay there, the sensation of Heath’s lips caressing hers impossible to forget.

  ‘Hey there, you two. How have you all pulled up today?’

  ‘I feel fantastic!’ Trev answered as he swung the hose up in the air to shoot Molly and Rose with it.

  Molly tried to duck but the water got her right in the face as Rose ran and hid behind Heath’s legs, giggling madly. ‘You bugger, Trev! I’ll get you back when you least expect it, you know!’ She chuckled as she wiped the water from her cheeks.

  ‘I dare to you try,’ Trev replied lightheartedly.

  Heath picked Rose up for a cuddle, laughing at Molly as she stood wiping her face. ‘That’s payback for laughing at me the other day when Kenny dumped the bucket of ice all over me!’

  Molly jumped when she heard a loud noise start in the workers’ cottage. ‘What in the hell is that?’

  Trev smiled. ‘Um, Kenny was trying to figure out a way to clean the house quickly because it’s his turn to be Sadie. He came up with the bright idea of using the leaf blower to blow all the dust out of the place. But I think he’s making the place dirtier, not cleaner. You got to go and have a look for yourself, Molly. It’s a crack up!’

  Molly rolled her eyes. ‘He’s one in a million, our Kenny.’

  Heath laughed. ‘You got that right.’ He leant over and gently placed Rose back on the ground. He was trying hard not to ask Molly about the bloke at the bar last night but it was eating him up, and he’d suffered a sleepless night because of it. Should he say anything? Was it wise to? Shit, why the hell not? He’d kissed her, for fuck’s sake. Didn’t that count for something? He suddenly felt strangely nervous and he avoided her gaze, instead busying himself with straightening the boots up near the front door, which he never did. What was wrong with him? He took a deep breath to try and steady his pounding heart. ‘Last night was a corker hey, Molly? Very memorable indeed. Cracked me up when that bloody singer tried to hit on you, though. I mean, you don’t even know him and he was acting all chummy with you. I could see you looked a bit uncomfortable. I don’t understand blokes like that.’

  Molly felt her heart stop dead in its tracks. How in the hell was she meant to reply to that? Heath had no idea just how much of an impact Mark had made on her life, but for some strange reason she couldn’t bring herself to tell Heath. Why? She’d always told him everything. Was it because of the kiss they’d shared? Because she was falling for Heath and she didn’t want to hurt him? Or was she just protecting herself? She didn’t know but the urge to change the subject was almost choking her. ‘Oh, um, him. Yeah, he … um, he heard from someone that I was good with horses and he needs one of his mares worked with. That’s all.’ She waved her hand in the air, giggling uneasily. ‘Pfft! He wasn’t hitting on me. What gave you that stupid idea?’

  Heath rubbed his chin, pretending to think deeply. ‘I dunno. Maybe it was the fact his eyes just about undressed you on the spot. Or maybe it was the way he so slyly got your phone number within minutes of meeting you.’

  Molly wished she could tell Heath the truth, but her instincts were cautioning her not to. What in the heck was going on here between them? Everything felt so tense, uncomfortable – not at all like they were normally around each other. She felt the need to defend herself, and that puzzled her. ‘I told you, he needs me to work on his mare. Simple as that. I reckon you’re reading a little too much into it.’

  Heath raised his eyebrows teasingly. ‘Am I?’

  Molly ignored his questioning gaze. The whole conversation was beginning to upset her. Was it because she felt bad lying to Heath? ‘Come on, Rose, let’s go check out what Kenny’s up to inside.’

  Molly took Rose’s hand and stuck her head past the flyscreen door to find Kenny blowing the crap out of everything in sight. She was sure there was more dust floating around inside the workers’ cottage than out of it. Garp was hanging onto one of the lounge room curtains by his claws, his eyes wide open, looking scared to death. Kenny smiled at them, yelling over the noise of the blower in his hand.

  ‘Hey, Molly and Rose! I think I should patent this thing as a vacuum cleaner. But instead of sucking the dust up it blows it away.’ The three of them watched as a huge cloud of dust settled on the couch. Kenny scratched his head. ‘Well, maybe I’ll have to give it a bit more thought first.’

  ‘That’s just silly!’ Rose exclaimed with a giggle as she covered her ears.

  Kenny appeared to decide he had done enough and turned off the leaf blower. The ear-piercing noise, which had vibrated around the workers’ cottage making it sound ten times louder than it really was, blessedly stopped. Garp dropped to the floor and ran like a soldier in the frontline towards the safety of one of the bedrooms, his ginger fur still on end. Molly and Rose headed back outside to Heath and Trev, and Kenny followed.

  ‘Are you boys up for a ride and a spot of fishing later this afternoon?’ Molly asked, avoiding Heath’s intense gaze. It was making her a little skittish. What was he doing to her? And why was she letting him get under her skin?

  They all nodded eagerly. Anything that involved fishing, they were there.

  ‘Great. Jade should be here around four, and then we can all head out. I’m just going to head home and do some light training with Buck.’

  ‘I wish I could come riding with you this afternoon, Mum,’ Rose said, he
r bottom lip almost hitting the floor as she climbed up on the top rail of the round yard that was shaded by a paperbark tree. ‘I miss old Jimmy so much.’

  ‘I know, sweetheart. I miss him too. But I bet you he’s up there in horsy heaven watching over you. And at least he’s not in pain any more,’ Molly replied softly before placing a couple of tender kisses on Rose’s cheek. ‘Not long now and Buck will be all yours. Then you can come riding with me again, all the time. And the girls at pony club are going to be so jealous of how striking he is. I mean, just look at him! He’s so handsome.’

  Rose smiled as she admired Buck, who was busy prancing about the round yard like a champion fighter at the beginning of the boxing match, clearly showing off a little in front of them. ‘Yeah, I reckon they will be. He’s wonderful isn’t he?’

  ‘He sure is, sweetheart. And the best thing is, you picked him yourself. So that makes him extra special,’ Molly said, opening the lunch box she had packed for Rose. She pulled out a Vegemite sandwich and passed it to Rose, along with a popper.

  Molly slowly worked her way into Buck’s space, talking calmly, soothingly, softly. Over the past week she had noticed a massive improvement in him. He no longer kicked or tried to bite, even letting her walk around him without his ears pinned firmly to his head. Now Molly studied his body language and noticed his tail had stopped flicking and his eyes were no longer wide with fear. Finally, after a few more minutes, she got close enough to hold her hand out. She allowed him to take his time, deciding whether he wanted to take a step towards her. She held her breath, feeling like the whole world had suddenly fallen still. Rose was silent on the fence, watching, and Molly continued to hold her breath as she waited.

  With a little hesitation, Buck dropped his head and slowly walked over. Molly’s heart leapt and she cheered loudly in her head, but remained slow and calm in her movements. The horse eventually got close enough to sniff her outstretched hand. She followed his cues and slowly placed her hand on his neck. Then what she had been waiting for happened: he lowered his head and rested it against her chest. She let out a sigh of relief – he had finally decided to trust her. She pulled a carrot from her back pocket and Buck sniffed it before taking it from her and devouring it with loud chomping noises. Molly glanced over towards Rose, and the look of pure delight on her little girl’s face melted her heart. She reached out and stroked Buck’s beautiful chestnut coat once again. ‘Steady, fella, it’s okay, it’s going to be okay. Steady, steady boy.’