Love Redefined

by Delancey Stewart

  He shook his head, stepping back to let me gather Finn’s things.

  I took Finn’s hand and together we moved down the hall past Jeff and to the door. “Go on out to the truck, Finn. Say goodbye to your dad.”

  Finn turned to look at Jeff, and he raised a small hand. “Bye.”

  When he had gone outside, I turned back to his father. “Are you still going to fight for custody?”

  He looked like he wanted to fight about something, but then his shoulders drooped slightly and he shook his head. “No,” he breathed. “I just…” a hand rubbed over his unshaven jaw. “I thought it would be part of taking my life back. I thought it would just snap into place.”

  “He’s a human being, Jeff, not a piece of your rehab puzzle. And raising a kid is active work. Hard work.”

  “I get that.” His voice was angry again, but then he sighed. “I’m not gonna fight you. On this.” His chin lifted. “But I am going to fight for the job. I have to.”

  I’d already figured as much.

  “Mike,” he said, taking a step toward me. I pulled the door open behind me and clicked the lock on the truck, watching Finn climb into the passenger side before turning back to face Jeff. “I need it. I need something to have, something to be good at.”

  “Something you didn’t earn. Something I’ve worked my whole career for.” I couldn’t help the bitter tone that filled my words.

  “Maybe,” he conceded. “But you can find another job. You’re good at everything. I’m not. My only shot is taking a job my old man is willing to give me.” He shook his head slowly. “Don’t you see how fucked up that is? It’s the best I can do and I know it.”

  I almost felt sorry for him, but I was too tired and disappointed about the way he’d expected Finn to simply adapt in twelve hours to being shuffled into a completely new environment, about the way he’d tried to take everything from me in one fell swoop.

  “I’m taking Finn home. I’ll see you Monday at the office.” I left Jeff’s house and we drove straight home. I spent the rest of the weekend with my son, doing all our favorite things and thinking hard about what I really wanted for my life. I needed to do something about the sadness and hurt both of us had lived with for too long. But for now, I needed to reassure my son that his world was solid. Everything else would have to wait.

  At one point, Finn slung his arms around my neck and whispered in my ear. “Mom? I miss Chance.”

  The pain and want that had colored every moment since I’d told him things wouldn’t work with us exploded inside me and I tried to push it down, ignore it as I had all weekend. “I know,” I whispered back. “Me too.”

  I watched Finn’s profile as he settled back into the couch beside me, glancing at him as we watched his favorite Batman movie and he wore the cape Chance had given him. I wished things could have been different, that maybe I’d met Chance earlier, or a different way. I knew there had been a possibility for something real between us, but the timing was wrong, and the circumstances. I had enough on my plate already, and in my panic about custody and my job, it seemed easier to let go of whatever I could. I hadn’t realized how empty I’d feel once he was gone, though.

  When Monday morning arrived, I was ready. I took Finn to school and arrived early at the office to get the conference room ready for Harvey, Peggy, and Jeff. They were coming down to me for the meeting, which I appreciated. If I was losing my job today, at least I could do it close to home.

  “You ready?” Eva asked, her smile uncertain. She knew what was on the line here, and since I was the highest-level manager in the Fresno office, she rightfully worried that if I went, she might go too. Or else maybe Jeff would be moving to take over down here, though I suspected Harvey was smart enough to keep his troubled son close.

  A confidence I didn’t feel laced my words. “I think so. We’ll find out soon.”

  Two hours later, I sat in the conference room across the table from Jeff, who looked much better than the last time I saw him. Freshly shaven, in a suit and tie, I almost remembered what I’d found attractive about him in the first place. As I watched him stand to present his extravagant mountain resort, flicking through the presentation and talking excitedly about the monorail and the slopes as images flashed on the projection screen, all I could see was how different he was from what I wanted. From Chance Palmer.

  I watched the pride in Harvey’s eyes as he listened to Jeff’s ideas and plans, watched Peggy nod her head at various points, and saw that this entire “competition” was a foregone conclusion. I’d known it all along, really, but my fear about losing my job, losing my son—it had all mingled together in an agitated spin inside my mind and I hadn’t been able to think straight. Now, sitting here, I felt sorry for Finn’s dad, and I realized he needed this. He needed it more than I did.

  “That was impressive,” Peggy said when Jeff finally sat down, and it appeared to be all she could do not to actually clap her hands together and bounce in her seat. Peggy—besides being Harvey’s office affair—was the manager of McLaren’s customer services division. She managed the soft side of the business, and would have direct involvement with facilities at whichever resort Harvey opted to build for McLaren next. Still, her role here felt less like unbiased judge and more like Harvey’s ally. And Jeff’s.

  I stood and set up my computer, pulling up the presentation I’d finalized over the weekend.

  I was proud of my work, proud of what Chance and I had accomplished together. As the first slide popped up, a sweeping panorama of the Kings Grove village with huge red trunks soaring toward an endless blue sky above it, my heart twisted painfully in my chest and the words I’d been planning to say lodged in my throat. I stared at the picture, could almost feel myself standing there again beneath those enormous trees, surrounded by a sense that something about the place was right, was good. I’d thought for a long time that the feeling I had in Kings Grove came from Chance himself, that he was charismatic enough and that his super power certainty was strong enough to make me feel calmer and happier whenever he was near.

  I realized now that was part of it—but there was more to it. The place itself had some kind of pull on me, something I hadn’t realized entirely. The fact that Kings Grove was also home to the most handsome and genuinely caring man I’d ever met? That was just a bonus.

  “Mike?” Harvey’s voice rumbled through the room, pulling my gaze back to the three people waiting expectantly at the table.

  “Isn’t that pretty?” Peggy said, clearly trying to spur me to move forward, to get on with it.

  “It is,” I told her. “You should definitely visit Kings Grove some time,” I added.

  She wrinkled her nose at me in confusion when I didn’t advance the slides, but turned back to gaze at that endless sweeping blue once more.

  “You know what?” I said, speaking to Harvey mostly, but addressing all three of them. “I’m not going to do this.”

  “Just show us the plans, Mike,” Jeff said, his voice carrying a hint of the exhaustion I felt for this entire thing.

  I didn’t want to share my plans with them, and I wasn’t going to. I shut down the presentation, as Harvey and Peggy exchanged a look. I knew I needed to say something, to explain myself, but I was having a hard time understanding where my own certainty had come from, was just coming to terms myself with what I’d decided when I’d seen that photo again.

  Before today, I’d felt certain I needed to fight, needed to hold on to my job, to the life I’d managed to carve out here at McLaren, in the valley where I’d always lived. I’d been so busy hanging on, so busy fighting for things I thought I needed that I never considered what else might be possible, I certainly never gave much thought to what I might actually want. I’d put the job and Finn first—I had to.

  But now, standing here with my life hanging in the balance and the presentation clicker in my hand, I didn’t want to share Kings Grove with them. I didn’t want to offer them the one thing that I felt genuinely happy abo
ut, the one thing that offered me certainty and excitement. I knew I was backing down from a fight, and despite the repercussions, I wasn’t afraid. I knew I didn’t want to fight, and I didn’t want to give Kings Grove to McLaren. That would mean giving them control over everything again, and for the first time in a long time, I felt ready to take control. Maybe some of Chance Palmer’s superpower had rubbed off on me.

  “Build the ski resort,” I said, facing them with a strange elation sweeping through me. “Give Jeff the position, and go build the resort. It’s a good idea, and I’m sure it will do well.” I tucked my laptop into my bag as I spoke. “Jeff, I’ll send you a few notes I have about the plans, okay? I think there are a few issues with your phasing, a couple things you’ll need to think about as you build, to avoid issues.”

  Jeff just looked at me, eyes wide, mouth dropping open slightly.

  “I’ve enjoyed working for McLaren,” I told Harvey and Peggy. “Thank you for the opportunity.”

  Harvey stood up, looking genuinely distressed. “You’re…are you quitting?”

  I lifted a shoulder, ready to be done with this conversation, this part of my life where I gave everyone else the ability to control what happened to me, to Finn. “I think so, Harvey. I think I’m ready for a bit more control, to be someplace where my work speaks for itself.” When he looked even more upset, I continued. “Jeff and I created the issues we have here—we broke the fraternization rules and illustrated exactly the reasons they were put there in the first place. I can’t be sorry for it, because I love my son and I wouldn’t change any of that for the world. I’m just sorry for what it did to Jeff, for the way things played out. And I think it’s better for both of us—for all of us—if I move on.”

  “Mike, I—” Harvey looked stunned.

  “I don’t know what you’re about to say,” I said, interrupting him, something I would never have done a month ago. “But it doesn’t matter. The odds were against me in this competition, Harvey. We both know that. You’ve got a responsibility to your son, and I get that. I have a responsibility to Finn. I need to do what’s best for both of us. Staying here and fighting for scraps isn’t what’s best. I deserve more than that—I’ve earned it.” I stopped talking for a moment, looping my bags over my shoulder as a new sense of purpose washed through me. “So yeah. I’m quitting. Good luck to you all.”

  “Mike,” Jeff’s voice was full of sorrow and apology, but I stopped him with a hand.

  “This is a good thing,” I said, turning toward the door. “I feel better right now than I have in years,” I told them. “And this is good for you, Jeff. Take advantage of it. Do well. Be well.”

  I swept out, leaving them stunned at the conference table. And after a conversation with Eva, I ducked into my office to get my personal things, ready to head home with the crisp fall air crackling around me, echoing my belief that this was a new beginning. I didn’t know exactly what I was going to do next, but I wasn’t afraid. I was excited and energized, and a little piece of me believed that maybe it was okay to believe in a fairytale, that maybe for some people, the life that seemed unreachable and too good to be true might not be just a fantasy—it might be a dream worth trying to achieve.

  And just as I took a final look around the place I’d clung to for so many years, Eva buzzed back, which was funny because I’d just told her I didn’t work here anymore, that I was about to leave. It seemed like an odd time for the formality of the intercom.

  I leaned down to press the button, to see what she needed to say, but my finger touched the glossy back surface at the same moment a dark broad form stepped around the corner and filled my doorway. My finger dropped from the button and everything inside me roared to life.

  Chance Palmer stepped out of my doorway and into my office, and smiled uncertainly, running a hand across the back of his neck. If Chance Palmer looked less than super power certain, something was definitely up.

  Confusion and excitement mixed inside me, and I found it hard to decide what I needed to say to him. I could only think: Yes. This. This is my fairytale.

  I straightened up the few things on my desk, not meeting his eye as I tried to calm the storms rushing through me. I had no idea why he was here, or what I was going to say, but I knew I felt hopeful for the first time in a very long time. I’d just left my job and was now a single mother with no income and no prospects, and I felt more hopeful for the future than I had in years.

  Life was strange sometimes.

  Chapter 19

  Chance

  She was gorgeous. But she had been incredible from the first time I’d ever seen her.

  She took my breath away, the long wavy hair dancing around her shoulders, the proud long line of her spine, the glow in her fierce eyes.

  As soon as I saw her, everything I’d planned to say flew from my mind. Was she angry I was here? Angry that I’d appeared out of nowhere and interrupted one of the most important days of her working life so far? Was she glad to see me at all?

  The redhead up front had looked worried when I’d told her I was here to see Mike, and she hadn’t been pleased when I’d mentioned this in a hurried string of words flung in passing as I’d raced through the lobby and let myself into the back. She was standing behind me now, shifting her weight and looking concerned.

  It was hard to figure out the expression on Mike’s face, but I was going with angry. I had dropped in out of the blue, because I couldn’t stand one more minute of not trying, not doing everything in my power to make her see how right things could be between us, how right they already were—if she would just let them be. She cleared her throat, and her eyebrows drew together in confusion.

  “Mike,” I finally managed, and my voice sounded tight and awkward in my own ears.

  She raised her hands in the air at her sides. “What are you doing here?” She didn’t sound angry. But this was her place of work. She probably didn’t want to let me have it here.

  I stepped closer, every inch nearer I got to her solidifying my belief that this was right. More right than anything I had ever felt. “I brought your car back.”

  What? Where had that come from? It was the truth, but that was definitely not why I was here.

  She laughed and shook her head lightly. “Thanks.” She was looking at me intensely, her gaze telegraphing something important, something I couldn’t decipher.

  My nerves spiked and my mouth opened again. “Mike, I needed to see you. We need to talk.” Her eyes left my face and darted to the doorway behind me as a tall jocular man with a shock of gray hair strode confidently into her office, stopping suddenly when he saw me.

  “Oh, I—”

  It seemed we were all slightly off balance.

  “Harvey McLaren, this is Chance Palmer,” Mike said, her voice professional, but light in a way I had never heard it.

  “Palmer,” Mr. McLaren said, squinted at me and thrusting out a hand.

  I shook it, realizing this was the man who owned McLaren—Jeff’s father and Mike’s former father-in-law. Finn’s grandfather. “Good to meet you, sir.”

  “Mike, what the hell was that all—” Jeff joined us in Mike’s office, and stopped short when he saw me standing there. Both Jeff and Harvey wore suits and ties, and if I weren’t a foot taller than either man, I might have felt intimidated. I took a deep breath and did my best to be civil to Mike’s ex.

  “Hello again,” I said. “We didn’t officially meet before. I’m Chance—”

  “I know who you are,” Jeff cut me off and ignored my outstretched hand.

  “Son,” Harvey said in a low warning voice.

  “Guys, really, I—” Mike spoke, the lightness still in her voice. Her cheeks glowed and the corners of her mouth turned up with amusement. She looked like she was stifling a laugh. What the hell was going on?

  “You can’t just forfeit,” Jeff insisted. “It doesn’t even make any sense. It’s not fair.”

  “You sound like an eight-year old, pull yourself together,
” Harvey bit out. “Mike, rethink this, please.” He pleaded with Mike and I couldn’t help taking a step to the side of the room and just watching, fascinated. I had clearly stepped into the middle of something, and I was beginning to get an inkling what it was.

  “This is the right thing, guys,” Mike said. “For me, for Finn.” She glanced at me and color rose in her cheeks. “I’m going to pursue some other things—things I want. It’s time for me to focus on my own life for a while.”

  Harvey appeared to accept this, but I could tell he wasn’t happy. He walked around her desk and pulled a surprised Mike into a bear hug. “I’m gonna miss you around here, sweetheart,” he growled. “You’re a firecracker.”

  “Never mind that you were about to fire me,” Mike said, her voice carrying that hint of laughter again.

  Harvey stepped back and looked sheepish, ducking his head. “I never said that. We hadn’t figured out exactly what to do.”

  “It’s fine,” Mike said. “Good luck, Jeff. If you ever have any questions, don’t be a stranger.”

  Jeff just stood still, looking confused.

  “You quit?” I finally managed. “You’re leaving McLaren?”

  Mike nodded confirmation, but her eyes stayed on Jeff, who looked like he might cry. “You’re going to be okay, Jeff,” she said, her voice soft. “You’ve got Harvey and I really will help if you need it. I’m not going anywhere. Or at least, not too far.”

  Jeff squinted at her. “You’re leaving Fresno, too?”

  She lifted a shoulder. “I’m still working out the details, but I’d never take Finn too far away. He’ll want to know his dad as he gets older. I hope you’ll let him approach that as he’s ready for it. I’ll help.”

  The blond man seemed to think about this, and threw a glance at me, as if he wished maybe I hadn’t heard her words, but he nodded miserably. “You’re a good mom,” he said quietly. “Finn is lucky to have you. I’m lucky he has you.”