by Ella Miles
“He went to prison after he raped you?” I ask.
She shakes her head and stares at me with her big eyes as she curls up on the couch like she might fall asleep.
“No. I reported him, but they didn’t have enough evidence to arrest him. Especially since we were dating. It was just his word against mine. But the police did a thorough investigation, and it turned out, he was selling pot and cocaine. He went to prison for possession.”
I frown. I hate that she never got her justice. I know there isn’t much I can do now, but I have enough connections to get a restraining order.
I pull out my phone. “I’m going to make a couple of calls and see what I can do to fix this. Then, I’ll take you home.”
I lean down and kiss her on the forehead.
She smiles up at me. “Thank you, hubby.”
I swallow as she calls me hubby again. She likes calling me her husband or hubby. I love hearing it fall from her lips, but it’s a problem. I promised I wouldn’t hurt her. And right now the way we both feel, I’m going to hurt her.
I step outside the office to make the calls to protect her. Tonight, I can be her prince. But tomorrow, I need to bring back the ass she hates. After hearing her story tonight, it’s more important than ever that I keep her from falling in love with me. She deserves better than a man who only cares about money, his work, and getting laid.
13
Larkyn
The last few weeks have crept by. Kade has mostly left me alone. He’s been busy working, while I’ve tried to teach as many yoga classes as possible to save as much money as I can. After teaching, I’ve spent most of my time training for the race today. Or hanging out with Serena. I need to stop meeting up with Serena though. All she wants to talk about is Kade.
Are we serious? Do I like him? Have I fallen in love?
It’s exhausting. I can’t handle talking to her anymore.
But I miss Kade. He’s been traveling for work weekly. And even when is home, he’s been working late. He’s barely even made time to fuck me. I don’t know how he has so much restraint. I’ve spent every night in this big empty house touching myself, making myself come. But it is nothing like when Kade fucks me.
And somehow, Nathan is back in prison. I don’t know what he did, but Kade called me a couple of days after his release and said Nathan violated his parole and is back in prison.
I toss my running shoes into my bag and zip it shut. I swing the bag over my shoulder as I hear a knock on my bedroom door.
I grin. Kade.
“Come in.”
Kade opens the door slowly and moves just inside my doorway. He’s dressed in jeans and a buttoned-down shirt.
My smile drops from my face, and I almost drop the bag from my shoulder; the sight of his outfit knocks me so off balance. He’s not coming to see me race.
“I wanted to pop in to wish you luck today. Sorry, I can’t make it to your race today. Work calls.”
I nod and give him a fake smile. But I can’t say thank you. I don’t open my mouth at all, because if I do, I know what’s going to come out. True feelings that I don’t want Kade to know about.
He hesitates in my doorway, before walking over to me, squeezing my body against his, and wrapping his arms around my back. My face buries in his chest. I smell the familiar musk of his aftershave. And I almost tell him to hell with the race and work. I need him to fuck me right now. Against the wall. In the bed. On the floor for all I care. I need his cock.
But he releases me before I have a chance to kiss him. If I had brushed my lips against his, everything would be different.
I didn’t.
So now, Kade is walking away, out of my bedroom.
“Good luck, Larkyn. Text me how the race goes.” And then he’s out my bedroom door as he presses his phone to his ear to take a call. He doesn’t even want me to call him afterward, just text. That’s how much I mean to him.
I thought after Kade punched Nathan, I meant more to him than just a fake relationship where I help him fend off women. Apparently, not. I’m not even sure he thinks he needs me around to fend off women anymore, since we haven’t been out in public in weeks.
I head to my old Toyota Corolla and drive off to the race. It’s five in the morning. I didn’t even ask Kade what he’s doing up this early. But I guess running a billion dollar empire requires Kade to work all hours of the day and night.
As I’m running the race, all I can think about is Kade.
Kade, treating me like a queen.
Kade, being an ass.
Kade, in his sexy suits.
Kade, naked in my bed.
Kade, bossing me around.
Kade, comforting me when I cry.
He’s a distraction. From everything. I should be focused on my pace, form, and where I’m planting my feet.
But I can’t stop.
All I think about is Kade’s grin.
His dimples.
His giant eyes, staring at me lovingly. Like I’m really his. But I’m not.
Shit…
My body crashes into the concrete, as my ankle twists beneath my body.
Fuck.
Runners jump around me, not bothering to stop and check on me. I don’t blame them. They want to win. Get sponsors, same as me.
I glance down at my fitness watch, tracking my pace and mileage. Nine miles in a record pace. I could have won. Or at least finished in the top five.
Now, my dreams are gone.
I will never win a marathon. My body will heal eventually, but my heart isn’t in it anymore. I like running. It used to be my whole life, but now all I can think about is Kade. I’ve turned into my mother. The one person I hate for not having her own life.
I need more.
But how can I, when my entire life revolves around Kade?
I don’t know. But I need to get my shit together.
I force myself up into a standing position. Gravel and rocks fall from my body as I dust myself off. I hop on my good leg as a tear trickles down my cheek toward the nearest first aid station.
I’m not sad that my running career is over. Running made me feel alive, but it didn’t serve the purpose of helping other people.
I’m sad that I don’t know what comes next or how to go about achieving my purpose of helping other people. I love teaching yoga, but I hardly earn enough to feed myself. I don’t need much money, but I need more than the thousand dollars I earn a month.
“Let me help you,” a man in a red first aid shirt says, draping my arm over his shoulders.
“Thanks,” I say, faking a smile at the good-looking man. Usually, I would be entranced with a man like him. Especially with my arm draped over his shoulders and our bodies so close together. Today, I feel nothing. I feel like a sex addict, but the only man that can quench my thirst is Kade.
“I’m Jeremy,” the man says.
“Larkyn.”
He smiles. “Sit here, Larkyn.” He pulls up a folding chair behind me.
I ease myself down onto the chair as Jeremy lifts my leg up so he can inspect my ankle. He slowly removes my shoes, as my swollen ankle reddens.
“You need to have it looked at by a doctor.”
I nod.
“Anyone I should call to help you get home?”
I shake my head. “Call me a cab. I’ll pick up my car later.”
Jeremy frowns, but pulls out his phone.
“I can take you home,” Sebastian’s voice rings out behind me.
Jeremy looks from Sebastian back to me. He raises an eyebrow, asking me without words if he should leave me alone with the man.
I smile at Jeremy, who walks over to a table a few feet away and starts organizing supplies.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, as Sebastian squats in front of me. He doesn’t look good. His hair is disheveled, and he needs a haircut. His eyes are bloodshot. His clothes have dirt stains. And his breath reeks of alcohol.
“I came to apologize.”
I exhale. I don’t
know why he doesn’t make me anxious. Maybe because he’s so good looking or that I almost slept with him. I don’t know.
“That’s nice of you Sebastian, but I’m not looking for an apology. I think you need to focus on getting the help you need and taking care of yourself.”
“Please, Larkyn, I need to…” Sebastian stumbles over my leg as he stands up.
I wince as he hits my ankle and his hands flail, trying to grab onto my shoulders to keep his balance.
Before I realize what is happening, Sebastian is knocked on his ass, lying on the ground.
Blood spews from his lip, as a fist comes down on his face again. Sebastian holds his hands up to protect his face, but he doesn’t fight back.
“Don’t ever touch Larkyn again. You understand?” Kade says.
Kade.
My eyes widen as I grasp my injured ankle. I don’t know whether I’m happy or afraid to see Kade here. I’m happy that’s he’s here. He lied to me and came to my race. But the way he’s looking at his brother terrifies me.
Kade’s eyes are dark, his face red, and fist balled, while his other hand tightens around Sebastian’s throat.
“We are through Sebastian. You’re on your own. I’m tired of fixing things for you. Don’t call me asking for my help anymore. Don’t ask me for money. Don’t ask me to even be there for you as your brother. I’m done helping you,” Kade says.
Kade huffs out a breath through his nose, and it might as well be fire. He finally turns toward me after taking more breaths to calm himself down. While Sebastian, is still in a heap on the ground. Several of the medics are staring at the scene, not sure if they should help Sebastian or stay out of it.
“You okay?” Kade asks me.
I nod.
“Sebastian didn’t hurt me, and my ankle was already hurt.”
“Your ankle, okay?”
“I twisted it. It will be fine. I just need to rest it.”
Kade stares down at my ankle with the same intensity one might stare at a bomb waiting for it to go off.
“I’m fine,” I say again.
Kade grimaces at me and then scoops me up in his arms.
I don’t fight with him. Even if I could walk, I wouldn’t argue with him. I like him carrying me. I like being in his arms again. Just being near him.
“You lied to me,” I say.
He ignores me. “Where did you park?”
“The west parking lot.”
He swallows, and I can hear him breathe, each breath strong and deep as we walk.
“Why did you come and not tell me?”
“Because I didn’t want you to think I like you.”
“You like me?” I ask with a smile.
“Of course, but that’s all it is. Like.”
My eyes drop. I don’t want him to see the pain in my eyes.
“You were too harsh on Sebastian. He didn’t even touch me. You don’t need to punch every guy that touches me.”
He growls, and I know he disagrees.
Kade helps me into my car, and then he goes to the driver’s seat.
“Home?” he asks.
“Drop me off at the yoga studio. I said I would help with any classes after I finished my race.”
His eyes widen, and he rubs his head. But it looks more like he’s doing something with his hands to keep from strangling me.
“No.”
He doesn’t say anything else. Just a no.
“No? You don’t get to tell me what to do.”
“When you are acting crazy and may have just had a concussion, then I do.”
I frown, but don’t argue. Honestly, I want to spend the rest of the day with Kade.
“You’re lucky I’m not taking you straight to the doctor.”
“It’s just a sprain. I’m fine.”
He rolls his eyes as more steam leaves his nostrils.
My car makes a weird noise as Kade speeds up, ending the silence that has spread between us.
“You need to buy a new car. This one is about to break down any minute.”
I frown. “I happen to like my car.”
“Buy a new one.”
“No.”
He sighs and rubs his neck again.
“Why did you punch Sebastian? I want the truth.”
He keeps driving, ignoring me, and I give up pushing. It seems that we aren’t on the same page anymore. We can’t even carry on a simple conversation.
Kade pulls the car into the driveway of his house, and he shuts off the engine, but doesn’t get out to help me. I sit too and wait. I could hop in the house on my good leg, but I don’t want to. I want Kade’s arms around me again.
“Our father died when I was fifteen. Sebastian was only twelve. Lung cancer.”
I suck in a breath as Kade finally speaks.
“I’m so sorry,” I say.
He stares into my eyes and touches my cheek like he needs my touch to be strong enough to continue speaking.
“Our father was abusive. He wasn’t a nice man. Sebastian and I were happy to see him gone.”
I place my hand on his, trying to bring him comfort.
“My mother though…” He takes a deep breath. “From what I remember about her, she was amazing. She divorced my father when I was six. She didn’t have anything. No money. No job. No skills. But she loved Sebastian and I. Fought for custody of us. But she didn’t have the means to fight our father’s numerous lawyers.”
I tighten my grip on his hand.
“She died of a broken heart.”
A tear trickles down my cheek. He hurts. So much. And I can’t do anything to make it better.
“Sebastian started acting out after our father died. He partied. Drank, smoked weed. All of it.
“I thought it was just a phase that would pass. But he’s never been able to get over our parents’ deaths or the emotional abuse he suffered from our father.
“I don’t know how to help Sebastian. I don’t think I can help him. I know I should give up on him, but I can’t keep fighting for him when he keeps screwing up.”
His voice trembles and breaks, as tears slip down his cheek.
I grab his head and cradle him against my chest, crying as well. I open my mouth numerous times, trying to find words to comfort him, but there are no words. Nothing I can say will make any of it better. I want to say Sebastian will get better. With help, he’ll clean up his life. But I don’t know that.
So instead, I get out of the car, walking tenderly on my injured foot to Kade’s side, and I lead Kade out of my car and into the house. His eyes are sad, but he doesn’t fight me. Tonight, it’s my turn to take care of him.
I guide him slowly to his bedroom until he’s sitting on the edge of the bed. Then, I remove his shoes. Followed by his jeans and shirt.
I remove my running shorts and bra, and pull on one of his T-shirts before climbing into the bed next to him and snuggling against his chest.
This is the first time I’ve slept in his bed, since the first time he fucked me. Tonight isn’t about sex. Tonight is about comforting a man I’m falling for.
14
Kade
Larkyn is an angel when she sleeps. Her head is curled up against my chest as her arm and leg are draped over my waist.
I’ve never slept with a woman in my bed before without having sex with her first. It was exactly what I needed. A night holding a woman I care about.
But it makes my feelings for her confused. What am I supposed to do now?
Tell her I’m falling in love with her, and I want to try a relationship for real? Or keep trying to push her away every time we do something that moves toward getting too close?
I run my hand through her sweaty hair. My lips curl up. She really does reek. She never showered after her race yesterday. She just curled up in my bed with me and made my pain go away.
If I were a better man, I’d spend the day telling her I love her and want her to be mine. I’m not a better man though. I barely even have enough emo
tions to care about my brother. I don’t have enough to share with her too. I lose my temper often. I love my job too much to have time with anyone else. And my brother is a mess. I don’t want to bring her into my troubles.
A loud snore escapes her.
I laugh. So much for being an angel.
And then the slow puddle of drool starts slipping from the corner of her mouth onto my chest. Usually, I would be disgusted. But there is nothing that Larkyn can do to make me turn up my nose at her.
I want to lie in bed with her all day, until I’m covered in drool and have heard every one of her cute adorable sounds she makes as she sleeps. But I need to deal with Sebastian. If Larkyn helped me realize anything, it’s that I need to be tougher on Sebastian. And that ultimately, it’s up to him, if he wants to change or not. As much as I threatened never to see him again yesterday, it’s just not true.
Although, if he comes near Larkyn again or lays a hand on her, I’ll punch him so hard he ends up in the hospital.
So with a heavy sigh, I carefully lift Larkyn’s arms and legs off of me and slip out slowly, replacing my body with a pillow for her to wrap herself around. She smiles in her sleep, but otherwise doesn’t stir.
It’s early, but Larkyn usually gets up early, so I’m surprised she doesn’t wake up. I grab my phone and type a quick message to her, so she knows I didn’t abandon her. But then I hit delete.
If Larkyn wakes up without a message from me, that’s a good thing. Last night, we shared too many emotions. Too many tears were shed together. Too much love was sparked between us. I have to keep my promise. That at the end of the year together, we will part as friends who spent a very enjoyable year together. Nothing more.
I slip out of the house without making a noise, jump into my McLaren, and take off toward Sebastian’s apartment. I get to his door and pound on the door with my fist. He better fucking be here.
I don’t hear anything at first, but my second round of pounding must have woken him up, because I hear loud stomps as he walks to the door. He opens it wearily, and I see the bruising that has formed around his eye. His eyes are still bloodshot from the alcohol. I take one whiff of his breath and know that he isn’t hungover. He’s drunk. At least he didn’t drive anywhere. I took away all his cars and made sure to freeze his account for any payments larger than a thousand dollars, so he can’t buy a new one.