by Lucy Clark
Fletcher looked at her as though she’d just grown an extra head. He dropped his hands and shifted a little in order to see her more clearly. ‘That kiss we just shared…’ He gestured to the small amount of space between them. ‘That isn’t normal for everyone, you know. What we have between us is…magnificent, Molly. Surely you realise that.’
Her gaze dropped to his mouth, as though she wanted nothing more than to repeat it. ‘Yes, I do but it’s always been that way between us. The physical attraction has never been an issue for us, even right from the beginning. It was why we fought so hard against it for most of our overseas trip, unsure how to deal with all those hormones and pheromones.’
‘We were fools.’
‘We were being cautious, becoming friends.’ She stood and walked over to the flower box where he’d put their drinks, staring down at the now cold liquid. If she continued to be near him, continued to look at him with his slightly mussed dark hair and come-to-bed eyes, there was no telling what might happen.
‘True but when we finally gave in to the attraction, to those feelings, it was good, Molly. You have to admit it.’
‘It was better than good, Fletch.’ She glanced at him over her shoulder, giving him a look that said he didn’t need to state the obvious.
He walked over to her and took her gently in his arms once more, pleased when she didn’t resist. He lowered his head to brush a tantalising kiss across her lips, in the way he knew she liked. He knew so much about her and he was clearly using it to his advantage. She did like it when he kissed her neck, when he ran his fingers through her crazy curls, when he gazed into her eyes as though she really were the most important person in the world.
‘Fletch.’ She breathed his name, the sound holding a mix of longing, need and regret as she twisted from his touch. ‘Fletch, stop.’ Again her words were whispered, as though she was half begging for more, half uncertain about exactly what she wanted. ‘What did you mean before? About growing old and grey? Surely you don’t mean we should stay married, do you?’
‘Why not?’
‘What?’ Her eyebrows shot up and her eyes widened. She pulled back and moved away from him, her mind whirling, her body flooding with repressed desire. How was she supposed to think clearly when he was so near, so enticing, so…Fletch. ‘You can’t be serious.’
‘We belong together.’ His tone was imploring. ‘After everything we’ve been through, we’ve come full circle. We’re compatible in so many ways and I…’ He swallowed, unsure if it was too soon to confess just how much he loved her. He stepped forward and Molly stepped backwards, putting up her hands to stop him but she simply came into contact with firm, muscled torso, the one her fingertips knew every inch of and now tingled to explore once more. Fletch cupped her face in his hands and stared into her eyes, his words soft and heartfelt.
‘My life without you is—’
‘Fletcher—don’t.’ Molly swallowed, her heart pounding beneath her ribs, wanting to agree with him, to throw caution to the wind, but knowing she couldn’t. Too much had happened between them, too many things had been said and left unsaid. Although she knew it sounded great, although she’d often dreamed of getting back together with Fletcher, she also knew it wasn’t that simple.
‘Molly…you must know how I feel about you.’
‘Do I?’ She closed her eyes, knowing that if she looked at him, she might crumble, give in to the physical urgings. They’d tried marriage and they’d failed. There was no way she could fail again. Not with Fletcher. Not with anyone. It had taken her such a long time to get over him and move on with her life that she just couldn’t…she couldn’t go back.
‘Yes.’
She reached for logic, for reason, for rationality. It was the only defence she could muster when he was this close to her. ‘Fletch, only yesterday evening you were engaged to another woman.’ She spread her arms wide.
‘While I was still married to you,’ he added, exasperation in his tone. ‘I know this whole situation isn’t ideal but at least it’s proved one thing.’
‘What’s that?’
‘That the past is the past. We can’t change it but this—this thing which still exists between us—we can make it work. You and me.’
‘How?’ She wrenched from his touch and headed towards the back gate. ‘I—this is all just too much, too soon. It’s crazy talk.’
‘No, it’s not.’
‘Yes, it is, Fletcher. Of course we’re good together. We always have been and I know we can’t change the past. I know that but that doesn’t mean I can just forget it. I won’t forget it. I won’t forget her.’
‘I’m not asking you to but, Molly, this is our chance to start over. To have the family we’d always talked about.’
‘You do want to have children. I knew it.’ She unlatched the gate and stepped through. ‘It didn’t work out with Eliza and so I’m the next candidate in line.’
‘Molly. No.’ Her words cut him deeply and for a split second she paused, regret crossing her face. ‘Please?’ He held out a hand to her. ‘Come back. Let’s sit and talk this through.’
‘No.’ She shook her head, her voice catching as the emotions started to come to the surface. ‘I can’t. It’s all just…too much.’ With that, she turned and all but sprinted down the side path of the house.
Fletcher watched her go, his heart beginning to ache with a pain he hadn’t felt in such a long time. He’d thought it would all work out. He’d thought if he could kiss her, get her to feel what he knew still existed between them, then she’d come around to his way of thinking.
He felt guilty about the past but he meant what he’d said, he couldn’t change it. He could, however, learn from it, but, even if she told him that she forgave him for the past, would he ever really be able to forgive himself?
He walked towards the gate and looked down the path. She’d gone. His beautiful, wonderful, sexy Molly had gone…and he had no idea if he’d ever really win her back.
CHAPTER TWELVE
THE REST OF Sunday passed in a blur. By the time she’d returned from her impromptu run, she’d been even more on edge than before. Thankfully, the family had returned and the house was alive with voices and activity. Molly listened intently to Lydia as she talked about her rabbit. George wanted his big sister’s attention with his maths homework and Molly was only too happy to hide out in his room helping him.
Pierce’s sister, Nell, allowed Molly to help with her latest jigsaw puzzle and Jasmine had questions about her biology presentation. Between reading stories to Ty, chatting with her brothers-in-law and ignoring concerned glances from Stacey and Cora, Molly did very well in avoiding being alone with Fletcher. That was, until it was time for them to leave.
She’d delayed their departure for as long as possible, insisting they stay for the evening meal so that neither of them would have to worry about it when they finally got home. Fletcher, thankfully, had instantly agreed and she’d wondered whether he was as nervous about the drive home together as she was.
‘I’m happy to drive,’ she said as she finished saying goodbye to her family.
‘You drove here. It’s only fair I drive home,’ Fletcher said, walking around and getting into the driver’s seat. Molly closed her eyes and counted to ten.
‘Count to twenty,’ Cora commented close by and Molly opened her eyes and threw her arms around her sister’s neck.
‘I don’t want to get in the car with him,’ she confessed. ‘I’m sure he wants to continue talking about…about…and I don’t know if I’m ready. It’s just too much, too soon. Isn’t it?’
‘It’s less than two hours and there shouldn’t be too much traffic so you’ll be fine,’ Cora soothed, patting Molly on the back. ‘You’re an awesome, caring and loving person, Molly, and whatever he might say or ask you, you’ll handle it. You’re brilliant. Remember that. You take after your sisters.’
Molly grinned at that and looked at Cora.
‘Besides, Stacey and I will
be thinking of you, sending you all our best thoughts through the invisible triplet bond we share.’
Molly chuckled. ‘You always know just what to say,’ she remarked.
‘That’s because we’re connected.’ Cora hugged her once more before Molly opened her arms and beckoned Stacey over, the three of them standing there with their arms around each other in a little circle.
‘It’s not that far,’ Molly whispered.
‘That’s right,’ Stacey encouraged. ‘Just keep on talking things out with him and you’ll have it all sorted in no time at all.’
‘She was talking about the drive back,’ Cora pointed out with a chuckle. ‘But Stace does have a point.’
‘Hey.’ Molly glared at them both. ‘You’re supposed to be on my side.’
‘We are!’ they said in unison before hugging her once more.
‘Get going,’ Stacey said.
‘Call us when you get in,’ Cora added, and Molly reluctantly walked to the car, waving once more before opening the passenger side door.
‘Is it difficult? Leaving your family, especially Stacey and Cora? I know how close you three are.’
‘Not really. I’ll talk to them on the phone tonight to let them know we’ve arrived safely but we’re sort of used to being parted. Cora spends a good deal of time in Tarparnii each year. Stacey and Pierce travel to the States and the UK quite often for Pierce to present papers at conferences.’
‘Ah, yes. He mentioned his speciality was integration into society for adults with Asperger’s and autism. Quite enlightening.’
‘So going back to Sydney, which is only a short drive from home, isn’t really that difficult to bear.’
‘Good.’ He nodded and glanced her way but she kept her eyes fixed straight ahead. ‘Good,’ he repeated, returning his attention to the road. Where the silence between them had previously been one of comfort and ease, this one was the complete opposite, making Molly feel stifled and edgy. She quickly flicked on the radio, preferring to listen to a talk-back station so she didn’t have to talk at all to Fletcher. He seemed fine with this, in so much as he didn’t try to turn it off and talk to her about what had happened between them.
Molly closed her eyes and rested her head back against the head rest as the artificial glow from the street lights flashed by, illuminating them for a second or two before the next one in line took over.
Fletch wanted to stay married to her. He didn’t want to get divorced. He wanted to try again. He wanted to have children! He’d broken his engagement with Eliza because he had feelings for her. That was huge. It was all so huge and life changing and she already had so much to contend with at work and her studies and…was it any wonder her thoughts were in complete turmoil?
And children! Could she do that? Could she open herself up to those emotions again? She’d locked away her maternal instincts and focused on her career, on her patients. What she’d been through during her pregnancy, feeling Katie moving inside her, loving every new sensation—could she do that again? What if…what if something bad happened again?
A fresh bout of tears began forming behind her eyes and she quickly forced herself not to think about it. Trying not to sniff lest Fletcher should start asking her questions, wanting to know if she was all right, Molly shifted slightly and focused on listening to what the radio announcer was saying.
It wasn’t until they’d pulled up outside the house, Fletcher turning off the engine, that he spoke into the now silent atmosphere around them.
‘Molly, we need to talk.’
‘Not now.’
‘No. Not now but soon. I know you have a lot to think about, as do I, but—’
‘Fletcher.’ She held up both her hands and bit her lip. ‘Don’t. Please. This past week has been a roller coaster of emotions and right now I don’t have any more to give.’
He hesitated for a moment before agreeing. ‘OK.’ He nodded once, then opened the door and climbed from the car. He retrieved their bags, then walked up the path towards the duplex. She stood beside him on their shared front porch. Him in front of his door. Her in front of hers. They both put their keys in the locks and opened the doors.
‘Thanks for driving,’ she murmured.
Fletcher forced a smile. ‘Thanks for taking me to see your family again. I really did have a relaxing break. It was just what I needed.’
When she smiled this time, it was genuine. ‘I’m glad.’
‘Goodnight, Molly. Sleep sweet.’
‘You, too.’ She headed inside and locked the door behind her before reaching for her phone and calling her sisters. Neither of them tried to get her to talk about the drive, neither of them pressed her to discuss what had happened earlier that day. All they did was reassure her that they were always there for her, no matter what, and that whenever she wanted to talk both of them would be ready to listen.
As Molly went through the motions of getting ready for bed, setting her alarm and brushing her teeth, she looked at the teddy bear sitting on her dresser. Katie’s teddy bear. She picked it up and carried it to the bed, sliding between the covers and cuddling the bear close. Her Katie. Her beautiful Katie was gone.
‘Is it possible, Katie?’ she whispered into the dark. ‘Is it possible for us all to be happy?’
No answers came and, through sheer exhaustion, Molly drifted off to sleep.
When she woke the next morning, she still felt the heavy weight hanging around her neck. She didn’t want to feel like this. She didn’t want to have these decisions to make. Not now. Not when her life was already filled with the stress of finishing her studies and doing final exams.
As she ate her breakfast, she looked at the documents Stacey had given her, the ones the lawyers had sent her all those years ago. She read the letter explaining that sections of the documents hadn’t been correctly signed, that the divorce wouldn’t be final until that occurred.
She really was still married to Fletcher. She was his wife and a part of her just wanted to fling her arms about his neck, press her lips to his and tell him that she wanted to be with him for ever, that she wanted to start their marriage afresh, that she wanted to try again to have children and to be the happy family she’d dreamed about all those years ago.
But it just wasn’t that simple. Life never was.
When she stepped out of her front door, she half expected Fletcher to be waiting for her on the porch, but he wasn’t. As she walked along the footpath towards the hospital she half expected him to come up behind her, but he didn’t. As she entered the surgical wards she half expected him to be standing at the nurses’ station, chatting amicably with the staff, but there was no sign of him.
‘Uh…has…um…Fletcher been in this morning?’ she asked the ward sister but the other woman shook her head. ‘OK. Thanks.’ Molly continued on with her duties, doing a quick ward round, checking on her patients before heading to Theatres for the morning list.
She focused on work. Theatre was running late due to a complication with her fourth patient. Afterwards, she went to clinic and worked her way through the plethora of patients waiting to see her. There was still no sign of Fletcher. Alexis hadn’t seen him and when she checked on Mr Majors, she was told that Fletcher had called to say he wouldn’t be in today.
Frowning at this news, Molly returned to her office. Was he at home? Was he ill? She hoped not. Why hadn’t he come in today? Was it his scheduled day off? Knowing there was no point in playing twenty questions by herself, she forced herself to concentrate. By the end of the day, when she’d finished dictating a load of letters and catching up on the never-ending paperwork, she finally made her way back home.
The hire car wasn’t parked outside the house so she presumed he’d returned it. She started making dinner but after a while stopped and actually went to the connecting wall between their places and listened. She closed her eyes, listening for any sounds from next door but, apart from a ticking clock, there was nothing.
Where was he? She’d tried to c
asually ask several people but no one had seen him.
‘Perhaps he had a day off,’ Cora said later that evening when Molly called her sisters over the Internet chat.
‘Maybe he kept the hire car and went for a drive,’ Stacey added.
‘Yeah.’ Molly sighed. ‘I just can’t help but feel as though he’s avoiding me.’
‘Wasn’t that what you were planning to do to him?’ Stacey’s eyebrows rose. ‘Perhaps he’s giving you both some time to think about things.’
‘What exactly did he say to rile you up?’ Cora wanted to know. ‘Because the only thing I can think of is that he told you he doesn’t want to get divorced after all. That he wants to stay married.’
‘Bingo!’ Molly shrugged one shoulder.
Cora laughed triumphantly. ‘The triplet bond strikes again.’
‘Well, I think that’s marvellous,’ Stacey added, laughing along with Cora. ‘The two of you are perfect for each other.’
‘You always have been.’
‘Even just watching the two of you this weekend,’ Stacey continued, ‘it was as though our family was…’ She shrugged, trying to find the right word.
‘Complete,’ Cora finished for her.
‘Yeah. Complete.’
‘But what about…everything? He wants to settle down here and have children.’
‘He does! That’s fantastic.’ Stacey, the real homebody out of the three of them, was clearly delighted with this prospect.
‘I want to travel, to do something with my new qualifications, to make a difference.’
‘You need to have this conversation with him.’ Cora’s tone was firm. ‘You need to tell him how you feel, Molly. That’s the only way this is going to get sorted out because it’s as clear to Stacey and I as it is to you—although you probably can’t admit it right now—that you’re still one hundred per cent in love with him.’
‘Well, of course I am.’ Molly threw her arms in the air in utter exasperation. ‘I always have been and I always will be. He’s Fletch but I was in love with him before and it still didn’t work out. I didn’t get my happily ever after. What if that happens again? What if we still can’t make it work? I just don’t think I can recover from the pain of losing him again.’