What did that mean? She bit her lip, anticipation thrumming in her body. Heat grew between her legs.
Cole stripped her bra from her body. He walked around behind her and pulled both of her hands behind her back. Using her bra, he quickly tied her hands there.
Her groin felt even warmer. Her breathing grew unsteady.
He strolled around back in front of her, taking her in. “That’s very nice, beautiful. I like the way you look that way, your breasts on display.” He lowered his mouth to one of her nipples.
She moaned, arching her back, pushing against him.
“Mmm,” he whispered into her skin. “Now, you’re all worked up, aren’t you?”
She moaned again.
“Tell me Dana.” He gathered both of her breasts into his hands. “Does it turn you on to have your hands tied?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Why do you think that is?” he asked, teasing her already stiff nipples.
She didn’t know. She felt very bothered in the most delicious of ways, and the most real thing to her right now was Cole’s hands on her sensitive parts.
He leaned close, brushing his cheek against hers, his lips dancing over her ear lobe. “It’s because you trust me.”
“I don’t,” she managed. “Nothing about you is trustworthy.”
“Your body trusts me,” he said. “Your body knows what you refuse to admit.”
“That’s not…” Oh god, it felt so good. “That’s not the way things work, Cole. My body can want things that my mind knows aren’t good for me.”
“Bullshit. Why would your body want something that wasn’t good for you?” His fingers worked their way down to her pants. He popped open the button. “Your body knows what you need, beautiful. But the only way you ever let it out is if that pesky sensible part’s tied up. Well, she can’t stop this from happening to you.” He unzipped her pants. “So, why don’t you tell me how you feel about me?”
“Cole…” Why was he harping on this? “It’s not true.”
“It is true.” He peeled her pants and panties over her hips together. He knelt and pushed them down over her legs.
She stepped out of them willingly enough when he tapped at her calf. “No, I—”
But she stopped talking because his mouth was on her, between her legs, adding the most exquisite pressure to what was already there.
She groaned, writhing against his mouth, against the bonds that held her hands together.
It was good. His tongue there was…
She came too easily again. Far too quickly and easily, like her body had been holding it all pent up for too long to resist it.
The explosive joy shot through her, making her twitch and buck, and she cried out—a throaty release.
Cole stroked her mound and her upper thighs. “Good, Dana. Let it out.”
She looked down at him through a haze of pleasure, her body trembling, and she wasn’t sure if she didn’t hate him for being able to do that to her. He made her feel lost. He made her feel like she was in deep water over her head. He made her feel like drowning was a good idea.
He rose to his feet and claimed her mouth again, his hands roaming over her skin.
She felt weak, but she couldn’t hold onto him with her hands tied, so she pressed close, leaning into his warmth and strength.
And she was a little relieved when he led her over to the easy chair, because she wouldn’t have to hold herself upright. Gently, he pressed her down so that she was bent over one of the arms of it, her face in the seat, cheek against its plush fabric. Her ass was in the air, her legs spread. She was arrayed for him, his for the taking.
She couldn’t see him, but she could hear that he was removing his clothes as well, the scratch of his zipper, the slippery sigh of fabric.
His legs pressed against hers.
He caressed her back, her neck. He ran his fingers over her arms until he came to the place where they were tied. “I’m going to untie you now, Dana. But you aren’t going to move are you?”
“No,” she breathed.
“That’s right. You’re going to stay there for me, bent over and showing me everything.” He pressed into her, and she felt his erection pushing into her thigh.
She gasped, whether from the eroticism of his words or his touch, she wasn’t sure.
His fingers worked at her wrists, and then they were free.
She moved her hands forward, next to her head.
He caressed her thighs. One of his fingers dipped between them to stroke her swollen sex.
She let out a little cry.
“You’re so very turned on, beautiful. Don’t move.”
And then he was gone, no longer touching her.
She was almost tempting to shift position, too see where he was, but she didn’t. She waited, and she felt even more turned on by the fact that she was bent over like this, exposed.
Cole was back in a second.
His hands cupped the cheeks of her ass. “You are so sexy, Dana.” His voice sounded loose and deep.
Something clenched inside her, knowing that she was affecting him too.
He squeezed her. “I’d take your pussy, beautiful, but you mentioned before that you’re worried about getting pregnant, and I know I could never pull out.”
Another clench, but this was in apprehension. What the hell did he mean by that?
Cole’s voice continued, liquid and dark. “But there’s another way. And you’re going to let me take you that way, because you trust me.”
A bright spark of fear went through her, starting in her chest and radiating outward. He didn’t mean…? No… She’d never done anything like that, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to start now.
But then his thumb was there, right on the bud of her asshole, and she knew he meant there.
She wanted to struggle, or to scream out that she didn’t want it, but her body seemed frozen, and her throat closed.
His finger moved away.
She let out a breath she hadn’t been aware she was holding.
The next sensation she felt was the trickle of something, some kind of oil. That must have been why Cole had left her. To get whatever this was.
She slammed her eyes shut.
Cole’s fingers were back, rubbing the oil into her sensitive skin. No one had ever put fingers there before, and she felt tense and afraid.
But then his other hand was on her clit again, rubbing soft circles around it.
And his voice was soothing. “It’s okay, beautiful. You just need to relax. You’re going to give this to me, and it’s not going to hurt. You’re going to enjoy it. You trust me.”
Maybe she did trust him. She felt some of the tension easing, just at the sound of his voice.
But when his finger slid into her, she winced.
He slid it right back out, and she felt more oil being applied.
“Relax, Dana. It’s okay.” And his finger was there again. Moving. Stretching her.
She made a tiny noise.
“See?” he said. “It doesn’t hurt.”
And it didn’t. It wasn’t pain, but it was… strange. Unusual. Maybe it was even a little uncomfortable.
Still she didn’t say anything. Didn’t move. Didn’t open her eyes.
“So tight,” Cole murmured. “No one else has ever taken you here, have they?” There were two fingers in her now.
“No,” she managed. Her voice sounded choked. It still didn’t hurt, but it still wasn’t exactly comfortable. She was feeling more and more nervous about it. But she wasn’t stopping it either.
“I’ve never done this to anyone either,” he breathed.
Like they were both virgins? Did that make it any better? Dana’s chest felt tight.
“Relax,” he whispered.
More oil. Another finger.
She flinched again. She opened her mouth to say something, to tell him she’d changed her mind, she couldn’t let him do this, but then…
The di
scomfort started to fade.
She let out a breathy moan.
She realized that it actually was starting to feel… nice.
Really nice.
She let out another breathy sound.
“Dana,” Cole whispered. “Are you ready for me?”
She could only sigh.
He removed his fingers.
She felt a little disappointed.
“I need you to say it for me, beautiful. Tell me you want me.”
“Yes,” she said. “Please…” She missed the absence of his fingers in her.
“Please what?” he crooned. “Tell me what you want me to do.”
She swallowed. “I want you to…”
He ran his fingers over her legs and ass. “Yes?”
“To…” She couldn’t say it.
He touched her clit, rubbing it, sending shooting thrills through her.
“Fuck me,” she groaned.
He kept at her, his fingers working between her slick folds. “Fuck you where?”
She choked. “My ass. Do it.”
He let out a satisfied sigh. “Very good, Dana.”
And then she felt the head of his shaft pressed against her.
He pushed, but it only slid against her skin. It didn’t penetrate her.
He bent over her, planted a kiss between her shoulder blades. “Relax.”
She let out a long, slow breath.
And he pushed into her body.
He grunted.
Her eyes flew open. She could feel everything. She was so sensitive there. She let out small sounds as he inched deeper and deeper into her, invading her and filling her up.
“Shit.” Cole’s voice was ragged.
She moaned.
“You okay?” he whispered.
“Uh huh.” She’d never felt anything like this before. She’d never felt anything quite so intense and lush.
He began to thrust, and with every movement, he let out a low, rumbling noise of enjoyment.
She felt pierced, transfixed. She’d let someone into a secret place. A sensitive place. A place she’d never shared with anyone, that she’d never explored herself. But even though she thought it should be frightening, instead it was somehow wonderful and warm. So good. So sweet.
This wasn’t like regular sex. This was deeper, rawer, and truer. This was opening herself, making herself completely vulnerable, and trusting Cole with her barest self.
He heaved behind her. “You… Dana…”
She heard it in his voice. He felt it too. There was pleasure in his voice. He was obviously enjoying himself. But there was something else there too. Awe. Reverence.
He could sense what she’d given him.
She reached back, wanting to touch him.
He grasped her hand with his own, squeezed her fingers. “This is…”
“Yes,” she said.
“You are amazing.”
“I care about you, Cole,” she breathed. “I care about you.”
And everything was swept away in shattering showers of euphoria.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Cole had his eyes closed. He wasn’t asleep, but he was floating somewhere in a kind of near dream state, where everything was muted colors and weightlessness. He was slightly aware of the press of Dana’s nude body against his own. The two were cocooned together on his bed, and he didn’t think he’d ever felt this happy in his entire life.
Something had happened, something had splintered through him while he was inside her.
Taking her that way had occurred to him only as a tool, some way to further mold her to his will, to make her behave the way he wanted her to.
Making Dana submit to him always turned him on. It was his highest source of pleasure.
Until now.
Because something had happened in the middle of all of it that had cut through all of that. He hadn’t expected the act to feel so… sacred.
He hadn’t expected that it would make him feel so tender towards her.
He hadn’t expected…
It was all new territory for him. He was connected to Dana—by his own desire for her, by the alpha bond. But this kind of connection was something deeper, something that had taken root inside him somewhere.
It was powerful.
It should have frightened him. He couldn’t recall ever feeling something that was bigger than his own wants and needs, and he never would have sought a feeling like that out.
But it was only nice.
He let it fill him. He didn’t fight it.
This was far more pleasurable than coercing Dana. It was sublime.
Sleepily, he tightened his grip on her body, burrowing his face into her shoulder, breathing in the scent of her.
She stirred next to him, sighing.
He felt overwhelmed by elation.
She turned, rolling over to face him. “I should go back to my own apartment,” she murmured.
What? That was the last thing she should do. “I won’t let you.”
She laughed softly, her fingers fluttering over his face, his jaw. “Cole, we shouldn’t get in the habit of sleeping in the same bed.”
He opened his eyes, lifting his head to look down at her. She was so pretty, it made his chest tight. “Why not?”
“You know why not,” she said.
“No, I don’t.”
She sighed. “It makes this harder. It blurs lines. It makes it more difficult to remember what this is between us.”
He narrowed his eyes. “And what is this?”
“It’s sex.” She yawned. “Really intense, primal, awesome sex.”
“You still won’t admit it?” He was aghast. “You felt it. I know you did. You said…”
“That I care about you,” she said. “I do. And I do like being with you. You’re right that I fight the part of me that wants you, the wild part. Maybe I fight it too much.”
What was she saying? “Dana, something happened to me—to us—when we were making love, and I can’t believe you’re still running from it.”
“I’m not.” She stroked his face, and she gazed into his eyes, smiling. “But we didn’t do that, anyway.”
“What?”
“We didn’t make love, Cole, because this isn’t love.”
“How do you know that?”
She propped herself up on her elbows and mused at the ceiling. Then she faced him again. “Look, Cole, you’re sort of completely the wolf. Everything about you is savage and raw. That’s why I want you. Because, you’re right, I suppress that part of myself—the wolf part—and I can let go with you. You want me to let everything out, to be savage and raw with you, the both of us unbridled, untamed. That’s the only way we could really be together. But I can’t do that.”
“Sure, you can.”
“No,” she said. “I can let out more of my wildness. I can let some of it out. But not all of it. I’m not just a wolf. I’m a human being too. And human beings are civilized. We’re more than primitive instincts. We do our best not to hurt each other. We form attachments. Sometimes, we do suppress the savagery in us. We have to do that. It’s part of being human.”
“I’m not asking you not to be a human.”
“You are.” She bit her lip. “When wolves mate, it’s for the good of the pack. It strengthens their commitment to each other, and it ensure that they’ll take care of their offspring. For wolves, mating is about survival. Each other’s survival, the pack’s survival, the species’ survival. That’s why you and I are so deeply connected. It’s a powerful thing we have together. But it’s not enough for me.”
He was confused. “You want more than this?” He couldn’t even imagine feeling more deeply. Was it even possible?
“We can’t love each other,” she said. “We can only need each other. Do you understand the difference?”
He floundered. “I don’t know.” Here it was again. More things about her that he couldn’t understand. More things he couldn’t be.
“It
’s about choice,” she said. “I don’t choose you, Cole. I never choose you.”
His jaw worked.
She planted a kiss on his forehead. “It doesn’t mean that I don’t still want you, or that I’ll say no if you make advances again. I’m not very good at saying no to you. But it does mean that I’m going to my own bed. Don’t think this is something it isn’t.”
* * *
“If I explain this to you, can you keep from telling Gray about it?” Earl asked, puffing on his cigarette.
Avery was caught off guard. “You want to keep something from Gray?”
“I don’t think she’d approve,” said Earl. “Look, I’ve spoken with the board about this in depth. The SF is essentially a rehabilitation facility. We’re not really set up to be punitive, and we’re not good at it. We know that Cole Randall is a murderer. And we know that Jimmy is a murder, at least by proxy, since he set his whole pack on us and killed some of our men. We know both of these men are dangerous, and we don’t want them to be free. We also don’t want Jimmy to retain control of his pack, because he could cause more damage to us than we could contain.”
“I get all of this,” said Avery. “I don’t think that there’s a solution, though.”
“We’re going to kill them both.”
Avery took a step back.
“When Randall goes off to meet his dad, we’re going to follow him. I’m going to send a guy in, armed with a real gun, with real bullets. He’ll keep his distance, but take them both out when they’re engaged in their little showdown or whatever.”
Kill Cole, huh? Avery coughed.
“Look,” said Earl. “The last time Randall was locked up, he was commanding other werewolves to kill for him. He was still dangerous.”
Earl was right. Locking Cole up hadn’t stopped him from killing. And Avery still remembered that he’d almost strangled Cole to death in his cell just a few days ago. He wanted Cole Randall gone. Avery knew that having Cole shot was underhanded, but Avery wasn’t sure that he cared. In a case like this, the ends justified the means, didn’t it?
“Once they’re both dead,” said Earl, “that frees up the Pack on the farm, and it also frees Gray, which I figure would please you.”
Dana wouldn’t be an alpha anymore. She wouldn’t be mated to Cole. She wouldn’t be a beta wolf. She’d be free, a lone wolf again, not tied to any pack nonsense.
Bad Moon Rising (Cole and Dana) Page 27