“Blissville is turning into Little House on the Prairie. Soon everyone will be trying to pay for things with their chickens.”
“It happened to Kyle last week at his animal hospital.”
“Get out of here, Adrian,” I said.
“Man, I’m not joking. It’s the same little lady who’s reported them stolen.”
“Are you sure she didn’t barter them for goods or services and forget about it?” I asked.
“I might believe it if three other people hadn’t reported their chickens missing in the last week.”
“Well, it has been a little dull around here lately.”
“I’m grateful it’s stolen chickens and not another dead body,” Adrian said.
“Well, we hope the chickens haven’t been harmed, but we don’t know that yet.”
“Bite your tongue. I don’t want to tell little old ladies their chickens were snatched and killed.”
“Do we have coyotes in the surrounding areas?” I asked. “Are there signs of a struggle? Excess feathers on the ground or blood?”
“Not that I’m aware of, but then again, I just heard about this from Officer Simanski.”
“Joey’s taken the previous reports?”
“Yeah, and he decided to bring it to my attention after Mrs. Blankenbauer’s call came in this morning.”
“Adrian, how is it possible we haven’t heard about this before now? Last week, I heard about Betsy Watson getting caught sneaking away from Trevor Honeywell’s house at seven in the morning when I was waiting in line at Books and Brew for coffee and pastries at ten after seven.”
“Maegan makes you wait in line?” Adrian asked.
“You’re missing the point.”
“What is the point?”
“The point is it became public knowledge ten minutes after Betsy slinked away.”
“I see what you mean. I don’t know why Joey didn’t realize we had a serial chicken snatcher on our hands,” Adrian said, pulling in front of a yellow Cape Cod house with light blue shutters. “We need to act fast, partner. My wife and kids will lose their minds if someone snatches Elvis, Aretha, Patsy, and Gaga.”
“We’ll get to the bottom of this,” I assured him.
“Then you’re going to tell me all about the conversation you had with Gabe.”
“Yes, I will.”
Mrs. Blankenbauer was waiting for us at the front door when we walked onto her porch. She swung the screen door open wide to let us in. “It’s about time you got here. I called twenty minutes ago.”
“I’m sorry, Mrs. B,” Adrian said quietly. “I had to wait for my partner to conclude his meeting before I brought him up to speed.”
“Your name is Ethan, isn’t it?” she asked me.
“Elijah Markham, ma’am. I’m sorry I caused us to be late. Do you mind if we take a look at your coop?” I didn’t tell her I was looking for signs an animal had tunneled under the fence to snatch her chickens.
“You get right to it. I like that in a man. Are you married, Elijah?”
“Um…”
“I’m not asking for me,” she said, waving her hand in front of her blushing face. “I have a beautiful granddaughter who’s single.”
“That’s so thoughtful of you, Mrs. Blankenbauer. I’m not married, but I’m in a relationship.”
“Is it serious?” she asked.
“Very.”
“Mrs. B, Maegan Miracle is Elijah’s girlfriend.”
“Ahh, Little Maegan Miracle,” she said with a smile. “It’s about time she found herself a nice man. You better treat her good.”
“I promise I will.”
Mrs. B led us through the house to the back door in her utility room. “I didn’t even hear a peep out of Jezebel, Betty, and Gloria last night or this morning. I think they must’ve muzzled the girls when they nabbed them.”
“We’ll check out the coop for any clues, Mrs. B.”
“My daughter thinks I’ve lost my mind. I joke one time about trading my chickens for Fifi’s vet bill, and she thinks I actually gave my babies away and forgot about it. I’m not as sharp as I used to be, but I know damn well I didn’t give my girls away.”
“I believe you, Mrs. B,” Adrian said. “You stay inside where it’s nice and cool while Elijah and I take a look around. We’ll be back in after we finish taking pictures and looking for evidence.”
“Okay. I’ll see you boys in a bit. Don’t worry about knocking when you’re done. Just come on inside.”
There were no signs the chickens had been in distress. I looked around the back yard and realized how secluded Mrs. B’s lot was. It was the last one on a dead-end street. Her chicken coop was surrounded by a fence and had a locking gate. Well, at least it did lock before someone cut through the padlock with a pair of bolt cutters. Her entire property was surrounded by a chain-link fence and backed up to a wooded area.
We took pictures of the empty coop, the cut lock, and the surrounding area. We also looked through the yard for any evidence our perp would’ve left behind. We didn’t find so much as a discarded cigarette butt. When we returned to the house, Mrs. B was sitting at her kitchen table making a sign on a poster board with a black Sharpie. It said: GUARD YOUR CHICKENS!!!
We promised to keep her updated then knocked on her neighbors’ doors. Not too many people were home, but those who were hadn’t heard or seen anything out of the ordinary. If we were going to catch our perp, he or she needed to fuck up and leave behind some evidence.
“Okay, spill the details about the conversation with Gabe,” Adrian said once we were back inside his car.
“There’s not much to tell, partner.”
Adrian listened without interrupting on our way back to the station. “This kind of bullshit happens all the time. The likelihood of Axel Washington finding you is small, but in the event he does, we’ll have your back.”
“Thanks, Adrian. I’ll head on inside the station while you call Sally Ann and let her know she needs to guard the chickens.”
“Quit busting my balls over my chickens.”
“I thought they were Sally Ann’s chickens.”
“They are. I just slipped up.”
I felt so much better after talking to Gabe and Adrian about Axel Washington, and I realized it was foolish to keep quiet about the situation. It didn’t mean I was ready to tell Maegan she was living with a marked man. The time would come, but it didn’t need to be the week the paranormal investigation started at our house.
When we got inside, Adrian and I divided the list of people whose chickens were stolen for follow-up phone interviews. I finished first, so I had a few minutes to do a bit of research and text it to Adrian while he was finishing up. He glanced at his phone mid-sentence then looked at me with suspicious eyes. Too curious to wait, Adrian clicked on the message icon and saw the link to a farm with milking goats for sale. He flipped me off and kept talking.
There was no fucking way I’d let him live this one down. Everywhere he turned, he would see goats. I laughed in wicked delight, earning a double flip.
“GOOD AFTERNOON, CUPCAKES,” VANESSA SAID, breezing through the kitchen door in the rear of Books and Brew. Elijah ridiculously stood in line with our loyal patrons, but no one else with a close personal relationship with Milo or me did. There were only a few people I had a closer relationship with than Vanessa, and they were either blood relations or slept naked beside me every night. They didn’t eat or drink for free, but they slapped their money on the back counter and left without being seen by the hordes of people.
Milo and I looked up from refilling the cookie trays for the front display cases. The Blissville residents had been especially ravenous and caffeine-crazy, even for a Monday. I suspected their hunger and thirst was for information about Lyric’s sudden appearance in town rather than the items on the menu.
“Hey, Van,” we both said at once.
“I stopped by Curious Things to chat and Bonnie said I would find you here. What’s up? Did
someone call in sick?” I normally helped Milo with Books and Brew for a few hours until my store opened at ten o’clock, so it was unusual to find me in the bakery after lunch. We employed three part-time employees to help with Books and Brew, and Bonnie worked part-time at Curious Things. Our businesses were growing at a startling rate, and if we wanted more personal time off, we’d need to hire additional staff.
“The busybodies are in full force today since Lyric returned to Blissville yesterday.”
“Saturday night,” Milo corrected. It was hard to keep the smile off my face when recalling what we learned about Memphis and Lyric’s first night together.
“Yes, he technically arrived at Memphis’s house late Saturday night,” I told Vanessa. “I had a chance to talk to him yesterday when we stopped by Memphis’s house after brunch and later at my parents’ barbecue.”
“Memphis missed brunch? Interesting.” She didn’t know the half of it, and she wouldn’t learn it from Milo or me either.
“What I find more interesting is the relaxed expression on your face,” Milo said, changing the subject. “If I didn’t know better, Mae, I’d say our sweet Vanessa recently got laid.” Vanessa’s expression didn’t give her away, but the telltale blush creeping up her neck did. “Aha! You did get laid. It must’ve been a really good time too.”
“Why don’t you shout it a little louder, Milo,” Vanessa hissed. “I don’t think my mother heard you four blocks away. I absolutely want her to know I had a glorious weekend of hot, sweaty, no-strings-attached sex with a virtual stranger.”
“Your mom is no prude,” I said. Of course, the virtual stranger part might alarm her.
“That isn’t why I don’t want her finding out,” Van said dryly. “She’d either take out an ad in the Blissville Daily News to celebrate the big event or get her hopes up I was finally settling down like the Miracle twins.”
“And you don’t think your weekend is a precursor to happily ever after?” Milo asked her.
One of our part-time baristas, Joe Thierney, poked his head around the door leading to the shop. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but are the cookies ready? I’m getting looks out here.”
“I’m so sorry, Joe.” I walked the tray of cookies over to him and bit my lip to keep from smiling at the way he couldn’t take his eyes off Vanessa. He was adorable but only twenty-five. Vanessa had a rule about only dating older men.
“If he were ten years older and didn’t reside in the same town, I’d give him something to truly pine after,” Van wistfully said when we were alone again.
“Okay, you were saying something about hot, sweaty, wall-banging sex with a stranger…” Milo prompted.
Vanessa’s eyes glassed over, and a shiver rippled through her tall, lithe frame. It must’ve been one hell of a weekend. “Yes, but that’s where it ended. I knew when I kissed him goodbye at the door of his condo I wouldn’t see him again.”
“You spent the weekend at his condo? Not some random hotel?”
“I know what you’re thinking, Mae, and just because he took me to his home doesn’t mean he’ll invite me back. He was very honest and open when we met on Friday night. He said he wasn’t looking for anything serious, and I assured him I wasn’t either.”
“Where did you meet?”
“We met in the hotel bar after my seminar ended.” Vanessa wasn’t just a skilled tattoo artist and a successful business owner. She was a true artist who liked to share her knowledge with others. She stayed on top of the newest trends and taught what she knew. I had gone with her on many occasions to her seminars to act as her canvas.
“Did you have a nice turnout for your seminar?”
“Full house,” she said proudly. “The attendees were interactive and asked a lot of questions, so it made the day go by really fast. Afterward, some of us headed to the hotel bar to have a few drinks.”
“And that’s where you met him?” Milo asked.
Van nodded. “He bought us all a round of drinks. I assumed he was interested in Amber, who was blonde, busty, and younger than me.” The thing I loved and hated most about Vanessa was she had no idea how beautiful she truly was. “Anyway, he joined us and made it clear right from the start I was the one who’d caught his eye.”
“You mean, the tall, svelte brunette whose body is perfectly proportioned?” Milo asked sarcastically. “I can’t believe it.” I adored my brother so fucking much. He always knew the right things to say without hurting anyone’s feelings. “Besides, her big boobs will start to sag before long while your breasts will stay higher, tighter, and firmer.”
“My mystery man was very fond of my breasts,” Van said ruefully. “Enough about me.”
“Oh no,” Milo said. “I’m not through with you yet.”
“That’s what he said on Saturday morning,” Van said. I could tell she wasn’t acting flippant either.
“What started out as one night turned into two?” I asked.
“Two glorious nights and one long Sunday afternoon. I didn’t drag myself home until after six o’clock last night.”
“I’m surprised you’re able to stand,” Milo remarked. Okay, there were other times I wanted to smack him. “Maybe he wasn’t as good in bed as you think he was.”
“Oh, yes, he was,” Van said then sighed. “Bed, couch, elevator, shower, kitchen island, and up against the glass wall of windows overlooking the river while the fireworks exploded over Great American Ballpark.”
“Wow,” Milo said. “How the hell are you walking?”
“Women self-lubricate, darling,” Vanessa said, crossing the room to pat his cheek.
“He liked more about you than your self-lubricating vag if he kept you around all weekend long,” Milo replied nonplussed. “There must’ve been eating…food…and talking in between bouts of sex.”
“Yes,” Vanessa said softly. “I had an amazing weekend, but nothing changed. He kissed me long and tenderly like he hated for me to leave, but in the end, he walked me to the door, held it open for me, and told me it was lovely meeting me.” I hated the sadness I detected in her voice, but I knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t want either of us to make a fuss.
“You haven’t heard the last of him, Van.” I could see in her eyes how much she wanted to believe Milo’s bold prediction. “I just know it.”
“Thanks, Milo.” She kissed his cheek then pulled me into a hug. Vanessa held on tight like she needed the support from me that I almost withheld based on her usual preferences.
“I know amazing things await you, Van,” I whispered. I would accept nothing else.
Vanessa chuckled then pulled back. “I had no intention of talking about my wild weekend. I came here to talk about the Paranormal Whisperer arriving in town but got waylaid by the orgasm whisperer instead,” she said, nodding toward Milo.
“Yeah, my O-meter gets tripped a lot,” Milo said, tipping his head toward me. Like Vanessa, I wasn’t ashamed of my desire to fuck and fuck often, so I ignored him.
“There’s not much to tell at this point, Van. Lyric’s here by himself on his own time and dime because the Bliss House mystery appeals to him as much as it does me, and he’s not certain the network will air the show. He’s doing research this afternoon at the library and talking to Homer at the historical society.”
“When will he get started?”
“Tonight,” I replied. “Lyric and Memphis are bringing over dinner from the diner then they’ll start the investigation.”
“They? I thought you said he was working solo.”
“I volunteered Memphis to help him,” Milo boasted. “It was just a gentle push, and now, I’ll leave the rest up to them.”
“Uh huh,” Vanessa said with a knowing smirk. “You mean Memphis told you to butt out.”
“He might’ve insinuated he didn’t want me to meddle any longer.”
Vanessa tilted her head back and laughed heartily. “Insinuated, huh?”
“You can go on your merry way now that you know what’s up
with us and we,” he gestured between himself and me, “know you went down a bunch this weekend.”
“Guilty as charged, but I wasn’t the only one,” Vanessa said with a wink. “Text me later and let me know how the investigation went. Maybe Anthony will sense their stubborn hearts and lock them up in the attic,” Vanessa said, getting the last dig since that’s exactly what happened to Milo and Andy.
Vanessa kissed us both on the cheek and left with a cutesy finger wave and swaying hips, and I headed back to Curious Things when it appeared the afternoon rush had settled down at the coffee shop and bookstore. Bonnie was still floating on cloud nine when I walked through the door between our businesses. She was a huge fan of Lyric’s show and couldn’t believe he was in town to investigate.
“I hope I didn’t act like a nutty superfan when Lyric was here earlier.”
“You didn’t, Bonnie. You were full of helpful information, and you made him feel welcome. I appreciate it.”
“It’s my pleasure. Do you need me to stick around a little longer?”
I looked down at my watch and saw it was almost three o’clock which was her normal time to leave. “Heavens no. I’ll be just fine. I know your Monday afternoons are busy with taking Jessie and Tyler to gymnastics and dance lessons. I wouldn’t dream of interrupting your time with them.” One of the things I loved most about Bonnie was her devotion to her grandchildren. I knew my mom would be the same way when Milo and I made her a grandmother. “I’ll hire another part-time employee if things get too hectic for me to keep up with in the afternoons or when my days off create too much work for you.”
“Sounds like a great plan,” Bonnie said. “If your business keeps growing, you’ll be hiring more help in no time. Well, I’ll head out since you don’t need me to stay. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
“Have a great night, Bonnie. I’ll text you if anything amazing happens tonight.”
The Lady Stole My Heart (The Lady is Mine, #2) Page 3