by Lisa Olsen
“Wrong, wrong, dead and gone…” she chanted and Rob did his best to get her to look at him, but her eyes were still squeezed tightly shut.
“See now? See I’m fine. She done that. Her love’s made me fit and strong.”
“You’ll drown in it,” she sobbed. “Bloated and sick and slow until you don’t move no more. Drown in it ‘til there’s nothing left.” Rob’s hand came up, smacking her across the face with a loud crack. Leila stared at him dazedly for long seconds before her eyes cleared and she took on a bleary smile. “You shine just like her.”
“There’s nothing for it now, this is how I am. Take it or leave it.”
Her smile stretched wider. “There is nothing lost, that may be found, if sought.”
I recognized the quote, but I honestly had no idea what the heck she was talking about, I was still learning to speak crazy. “Ah, I think maybe I will go down and rest for a while,” I said, thinking he might have an easier time with his sister if I wasn’t around. “So, um… thanks again.”
“Goodnight, dear sister.” Leila surprised us both by standing to embrace me with a friendly smile, laying a brief kiss to my lips.
“Right, goodnight, sleep deep,” I replied, giving a yelp as Leila pulled away with a hank of my hair in her hand. “Ow, what the frak?”
“Leila! That’s no way to behave,” Rob scowled, reaching for her but she danced away, petting the golden strands.
“Only measuring your love is all. This should do fine, ta muchly. Night then.” Turning on her heel, she bolted up the back stairs. Her steps thudded on until she reached the attic and then all was still.
“Qingwa cào de liúmáng…” I muttered, rubbing at my sore scalp behind my ear. “What the heck was that about?” I demanded.
“She’s just upset, the spell took a lot out of her.”
“She’s upset? I’m the one that should be upset, I’m the one with a flippin’ bald spot,” I grumbled.
“It’s not as bad as all that. I’m sure it’ll heal by morning.”
“That won’t help the bald spot,” I insisted. As I’d learned with my singed bangs, my hair grew as slowly as regular human hair.
“I’m sorry, Leila’s always been a touch unpredictable. I’m sure it makes perfect sense in her mind, we just don’t see it yet.”
Or ever. “Tell that to my follicles.”
“You can’t hardly notice, luv. You look beautiful as always to me.” His fingers sifted through my hair and I swear it lessened the sting.
“And you’re full of it, but thank you.”
“Let me make it up to you?”
“Maybe you’d better go check on your sister and make sure she gets settled in.”
Rob let out a long breath. “You’re right. But don’t go far, I intend to make it up to you as promised.”
He surely did. Twice.
Chapter Thirteen
Anja,
I hope this letter finds you well. How is your sister? The reports I hear from Mason don’t sound particularly encouraging, but I haven’t wanted to pry into it too much. I was glad to hear you’re making progress with the private security venture, I hope it ends up being what you want it to be. And no, I’m not offended or threatened, the Order has its own purpose, there’s no reason why you can’t add another layer of protection for the city. You’re right, I think Rob is the right man for the job, he’s definitely got the experience for it. If you need anything from me or the Order, let me know. Mason says the new offices are decked out and we’ve got the facilities set up if you need a place to train your people.
Has Aubrey been bothering you any more? I stopped by Vetis and had a heart to heart with him. If he bugs you again, please let me know, but I think I made it pretty clear he should wait to hear from you first. Politically, I’d make him squirm a bit more, get some better terms on the accord he sent you. I know, I know, not that you asked for my opinion and I don’t even know what was in the proposal he sent, but you’re in the stronger bargaining position here. You already know that though, forget I said anything. I probably would’ve deleted that last part if this wasn’t on paper.
You won’t believe who I saw in Luxemburg last week – Angel! She didn’t even flinch when she saw me, in fact she waved me over. She’s been living there with a human, of all things. It was almost like I didn’t know her at all, she was so… happy. I know I’ve had my doubts before with how you handled her, but thank you for what you did, she’s truly at peace. She said some things that really got me to thinking.
Oh, I almost forgot. As you can probably see from the postmark, I’m in southern Italy as I write this, in a tiny village not far from where I was born. So be sure to save the stamp for your collection. I can’t say why I’m here, it’s Order business, but God, I wish you could see it. The air feels so different, like everything it touches comes to life.
I’ll likely have already returned to Rome by the time this letter reaches you, but picture me sitting on a tiled terrace overlooking the Volturno River. The coffee is sweet and rich, the scent mingling with the night blooming jasmine. I’ve never seen so many stars out as there are tonight, and I can’t help but smile, thinking their light will reach you when you wake. I’ve seen these same stars year after year, guiding my way, piercing even the darkest night. They seem impossibly far, and yet they’re with me, allowing me to share this night with you in some small way. They’re one of the few constants in my four hundred and sixty five years on this Earth. Their steadfast beauty gives me hope that some day I might show you this place and see you bathed in their light.
I’m rambling. Part of me wants to tear this letter up and start over, but the weaker part of me wants you to know I’m thinking of you, a half a world away. I hope you’re well and happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.
Yours,
Bishop
I sat at my desk, unable to resist holding the sheets of paper up to my nose to see if I could scent the jasmine. Of course I couldn’t, but the fanciful thought still brought a smile to my face. Bishop and I had corresponded with each other often in the four months since I’d last seen him and he seemed partial to sending hand written letters. His letters were often like that, they’d start out stiff and factual, gradually giving way to poetic words I couldn’t imagine him speaking to me face to face.
We wrote about everything under the sun. Books, music, the occasional political rant. We argued about which was the better Rochester – Fassbender or Hurt (no contest in my opinion, Fassy was far superior). Every now and again he sent me an mp3 of him playing something beautiful or I’d send him a clip of a movie I thought looked good. One day I checked the mail to find the complete works of Jane Austen, first editions, sitting on my doorstep. He’d finally taken the time to watch both Firefly and Serenity and agreed they were practically perfect in every way, but I couldn’t get him to watch Sharktopus vs Pteracuda.
I tended to write back via email since he traveled so much I never knew where he’d be next. That and I wasn’t confident enough to put anything I had to say down on paper. No, the backspace was my friend, and my responses usually went through several edits before I sent them, trying to strike the right tone.
Unsure how to address the fanciful words about the stars, I started and stopped my email back to him three times, chickening out in the end by ignoring it completely.
Dear Bishop,
Hey, it’s nice to hear from you, I’m glad you’re having a nice trip. Nothing that exciting is happening around here, except I finally got to go see Guardians of the Galaxy. Have you seen it yet? Go find a theater and see it now, I’ll wait… Heh, just kidding, but it’s super good. I think you’ll like it and you don’t have to know anything about the comics to enjoy it, unlike some of the other ones out there.
I’ve decided I hate the summer. Not that the heat bothers me or anything, but the nights are so short! How am I supposed to get anything done? Thank God for minions, right?
Ugh, talk about bo-ring. Here he wa
s waxing poetic about the stars and I was complaining about the season? What else could I tell him that was of interest? I couldn’t tell him how blissfully happy I was with Rob, the same way I could with Bridget. While I didn’t have to worry about risking offense with Bridget when I talked about intimate details with Rob, I knew the last thing Bishop wanted to hear about was how insatiable Rob was, or how attentive he was whenever we stepped into the bedroom.
By that same token, I couldn’t tell him I had a nagging feeling Rob might be keeping something from me either. I knew it was Rob’s nature to be taciturn and secretive, and everyone got snippy and short when they were under pressure. I had to learn to accept it and hope things settled down after he got the business up and running. In the end I never for a moment doubted that Rob loved and cherished me, and that’s all that mattered.
What then was a safe thing to talk about?
Hanna’s hanging in there. I know she’s keeping Mason at arm’s length, and I’m sorry about that. I can tell there are still feelings there for him, but I never want to give him any encouragement because I have no idea when or if she’ll ever let herself act on them. I hope they can find their way back to each other soon.
Whatever you said to Aubrey must’ve worked, I haven’t heard a peep from him since he sent over that truckload of white roses, so thanks for that. Thanks for the advice, he’s actually offered surprisingly good terms for the accord. Almost suspiciously good, so I’m having the rest of the council take a look at them before I sign anything, just in case I’m missing something. On a separate note – man, the smell of roses makes me want to gag now!
Rob is doing well, very engrossed in this new enterprise of running the private security firm with Lee. I’ll ask him if he is interested in using the Order’s training facilities, thanks for the offer. If
“You’ve had another letter from him again, haven’t you?”
I hadn’t even heard Rob enter the room, I was so engrossed with my response, and I jumped about a foot off my chair. “Jeez, don’t sneak up on me like that, you almost gave me a heart attack!” I wheezed, catching my breath.
“Why, you been carrying on with him behind my back?” he growled, the anger in his voice taking me aback. I wasn’t sure how to take it. He didn’t honestly think I was having an affair with Bishop did he? Okay, so Bishop did write the occasional romantic notion, but we both knew I’d made my choice and was happy with it. I’d thought Rob knew it too.
“No, of course not! He’s a half a world away and I’m here with you. You can read them if you want to.” I leaned out of the way, making room for him by my computer screen. “Come here and see for yourself, I’m not writing him anything mushy.”
He barely glanced at the monitor, too on edge to hold still as he paced the length of the room. “It ain’t about what you say, it’s about what’s left unsaid between you.”
“Rob, there’s nothing left unsaid between Bishop and me, we’ve gone over things pretty extensively, I’d say. He still loves me, I get it, but it doesn’t change anything. Yes, a part of me will always hold a space for him in my heart, but I chose you. There’s nothing in a few letters that can change that.”
His shoulders sagged as he slumped in the window sill, his face stony for long seconds before he spoke. “It feels like he’s always there every time I turn around, sending you things, making you smile the way I used to.”
I rose and went to his side, covering his hand with mine. “Rob, where is this coming from?” It wasn’t like we hadn’t spent a couple of the hours before dawn proving our love for each other. “You give me plenty of reasons to smile every night. I love you. You have to know that, don’t you?” I gave his hand a squeeze. “Don’t you?”
Rob tugged me closer, pressing his forehead against mine. “Yeah, I do. I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s come over me. I guess I’m on edge tonight.”
“It’s okay. Everybody gets to go kazoo every once in a while, this is just your turn,” I smiled, offering him a soft kiss which he took with equal gentleness. “Is there anything I should be worried about that’s making you on edge?”
“Naw, nothing to fret about.” He pulled away with a wry twist of the lips. “I expect I ain’t cut out for business is all. Too many angles to work at once.”
“Lee tells me you’re doing fine. He says you’ve been all kinds of helpful.”
“Says the blind leading the blind,” he chuckled, letting go of my hand to pour himself a drink from the sideboard. “He don’t know what he’s on about neither. The pair of us are in over our heads.”
I didn’t know what to say, I’d never started my own business either. Waving away his offer of a whiskey, I sat behind my desk, thinking it over as he drank. “Maybe you need to hire someone on to help? Or have you asked Jarrod or Leander for any advice? They’ve got three successful clubs up and running, I’m sure they can tell you a thing or two about launching a business.”
“That’s not half bad,” he said with a nod of approval. “Maybe I’ll have to give him a bell later or pop ’round to The Hart. What you up to today?”
I checked the time. “I’ve got a meeting with Felix in about a half hour, my schedule’s pretty open after that. Why?”
Rob drained his glass and set it aside. “I’d best get to work then.”
“Oh? What do you have going today?”
Instead of moving to the door, Rob stalked closer, settling on his knees behind my desk. “This,” he grinned, hands skimming up the insides of my thighs.
My head fell back against the chair as he did his best to make it up to me. It’d become a familiar route more often than not whenever we argued or disagreed. One or both of us taking turns until there were no hard feelings left. I’d taken to keeping a mini-fridge and microwave in my office for a pick-me-up after such sessions, because invariably they left me feeling woozy. But I didn’t mind. I remembered what Mason had said about Rob growing stronger from having my blood, and I could hardly fault him for taking a taste, especially when he gave me so much pleasure in return.
If Rob wanted to make me forget about writing Bishop back, he’d done a great job of it. By the time he left my office with a satisfied smile, I had barely enough time to catch my breath before my Skype meeting. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t in the best frame of mind to talk to Felix.
Leander taking on the magistrate position had given me more time to focus on my duties as Elder, which seemed to pit me against Felix at every turn. I was happy to delegate projects to the Warden, but we kept butting heads over human rights. My idea for the private police had taken much longer to implement than I’d thought, and the continued violence against humans had me talking until I was blue in the face about reform. Felix argued that they’d never go with it. Trying to legislate it would be a recipe for disaster, starting with my impeachment to hear him tell it.
It was a risk I was willing to take.
“I don’t care, I’m ready to take my ideas to the council. Someone has to stand up for regular people, I guess it has to be me.”
Felix was already shaking his head. “With all due respect, you’re going to alienate yourself from the very people who voted you in.”
“Well, too bad. They’re the ones that put me here, and I’ll do what I think is best.”
“Boss, an issue like this can be very divisive and it can also be very unifying. If the council all decides to move against you, they’ll strip you of office and you won’t be able to say boo about it.”
“Then maybe I don’t want to be the Elder anymore,” I snapped. “I only took this job because I wanted to make things better.”
“And you have. Vampire deaths are at an all time low.”
“At what cost? That doesn’t mean we have the right for human deaths to be at an all time high.”
He let out a long breath. “Look, it’s not only the council, the common vamp on the street ain’t gonna go for it either.”
“I happen to give them more credit than that.” Actually, t
hat wasn’t strictly true. I didn’t credit them with choosing my side because it was the right thing to do, I figured they’d only go along with it to be on my good side. But I’d learned to take what I could get.
“Maybe start slower. Have Leander take point, put some feelers out among the community. That way if it ain’t a popular opinion, you don’t have to take the heat for it.”
“I’m not going to ask him to take the heat for my opinions, but fine. I’ll go sound out some of the locals myself. Sure, we’ve had a few bad apples from time to time, but they’re good people. I know they’ll want to do the right thing.” It’d be good to get out and talk to people again at any rate.
Besides my regular office hours, I hadn’t interacted much at my old stomping grounds. With Rob and Lee so focused on their business, I hadn’t wanted to add to their burden by making too many public appearances. But Rob had said something about wanting to go down to the Hart anyway, maybe now was a good time to lay it all out on the line.
“Just be careful, boss. I’d hate to see you stick your neck out too far.”
“Don’t you worry about me, Felix,” I said with more bravado than anything else. I’d worry enough for the both of us.
Chapter Fourteen
We settled in at our usual table at The Bleeding Hart, Rob, Lee, Gunnar and me. The place was fairly crowded and noisy as spirits ran high, and I realized it was Friday night. I didn’t pay much attention to weekends most of the time – when you worked from home, every day was the same.
Rob was twitchy, his toes tapping against the table legs as Charisse took our order. “Everything alright?” I asked him when she moved away.
“Course it is,” he replied with an easy wink, but I couldn’t help but wonder when he drained his beer in two long gulps as soon as it was delivered.