by R. G. Thomas
“I know I’m grounded, but I have to go outside,” Thaddeus shouted and ran through the dining room and into the kitchen toward the side door.
“Thaddeus!” his father called after him.
“No time!” Thaddeus said over his shoulder.
He yanked the interior door open and pushed out of the screen door. He hadn’t bothered with shoes, and the grass felt cool and damp beneath his socks as he ran toward the dark line of trees at the back of the yard. Behind him, he heard the screen door open again.
“Thaddeus!” His father had lowered his voice, but Thaddeus could hear the urgency and edge of agitation in it.
He didn’t respond, not wanting to do anything that might scare away Leopold’s spirit. So he kept running until he rounded the back corner of the privacy fence and made it to the gate that led into Teofil’s yard. He paused to take a few deep breaths, then eased the gate open and stepped through.
Teofil stood in profile to him, looking up at the shimmery, shivery image of Leopold that looked back at him. From where he stood, Thaddeus could see Leopold’s lips moving, but he could not hear what he was saying. A cold, hard knot high in his chest made it difficult to breathe. He’d never seen a ghost before, and the site of Leopold standing in front of Teofil made him shiver. Thaddeus had seen Leopold’s body up on Wraith Mountain. They’d carried him down at night and left his body in a backyard near where they’d been staying so it would be found by the authorities that had descended on the small town. He stood and stared with no idea of what to do as Leopold spoke to Teofil, delivering a message only Teofil seemed to be able to hear.
Moonlight glinted in tears on Teofil’s cheeks, and Thaddeus’s heart ached for him. Teofil had been through so many changes in the last couple of months, and Thaddeus needed to remind himself that even though Teofil was surrounded by family, he could still feel alone. Leopold had been his entire world for a majority of his life, and he had died without Teofil being able to say goodbye.
“What do you think you’re do—” His father’s voice from right behind him cut off.
“Do you see him too?” Thaddeus asked without looking away. “Tell me you see him too.”
“It’s Leopold,” his mother said in a soft and trembling voice. “Oh. Poor Teofil. This must be very hard for him.”
“It’s his spirit,” his father whispered. “I’ve heard about spirits but never seen one. What is Leopold saying?”
“I don’t know,” Thaddeus replied. “But I don’t want to go any closer because I don’t want to ruin it.”
His father came up behind him and put both hands on his shoulders, and Thaddeus couldn’t help shedding a few tears. He had much to be grateful for; he needed to remember that more often.
Leopold turned his head and looked right at Thaddeus. His ghostly eyes widened, and he lifted a hand to point directly at Thaddeus as he opened his mouth wide. Teofil looked over, and his brow furrowed at the sight of them.
“Go away,” Teofil said, his voice cracking with emotion. “He doesn’t want you here.”
“What? Why not?” Thaddeus asked, looking between Teofil and Leopold who still stood pointing at him. “What did I do?”
“He’s telling me things he doesn’t want you to hear.”
“But, I can’t hear what he’s saying anyway,” Thaddeus said. “Really.”
“You can’t?” Teofil asked, then looked back at Leopold. “Why should he go?”
“You can’t hear Leopold?” Thaddeus’s father asked in a low voice.
Thaddeus turned to look at him. “No. Can you?”
“I can hear his voice, but it’s difficult to make out the words,” his father said.
Thaddeus looked to his mother. “Can you hear him?”
She nodded slowly, and Thaddeus looked back at Teofil for a moment before turning away. He swiped angrily at his tears as he walked briskly out of the gate and along the fence to his own backyard.
It’s another way for them to shut you out. They’re all trying to keep you on the outside.
For so many weeks, he’d felt as if he’d found a large extended family with the Rhododendrons, Leopold, Vivienne, and even Dulindir. But now that they’d traveled to Wraith Mountain and brought his mother back, everything felt different. Things had changed very quickly, and Thaddeus had no idea what to do about it or even who he could talk with about his feelings. At that moment, as he marched across the backyard toward his own house, he felt as alone as he had before they’d moved to Superstition.
You might as well be on your own. You’re the only one you can trust not to lie to you.
He entered the house and headed up to his room. A dull headache thumped in the back of his skull, and he wanted to lie down and go to sleep. He heard his parents enter the house, then the familiar tread of his father’s steps as he came upstairs. The soft knock on his door was expected, but it still made Thaddeus sigh. He was tired and sad and had a headache. He didn’t want to talk about anything.
“Thaddeus,” his father said through the door. “May I come in?”
“Yeah.”
His father walked in and sat at the foot of his bed. “You’ve had a tough week.”
He gave a quiet snort. “And it’s only Tuesday night.”
“You have been busy,” his father said with a smile. “Are you doing okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Not sure I believe that.”
“Sorry that you don’t, but it’s true.”
“Hey, don’t be glib about this,” his father said. “Let’s talk about how you’re feeling.”
“I really don’t feel like it right now, okay?” Thaddeus rolled over and turned his back on his father. “I’m tired and have a headache.”
His father sat on his bed in silence for a time, then finally got to his feet. “Okay. Sleep well. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Thaddeus heard the door click shut and allowed himself to shed a few tears before he cursed and angrily wiped them away. He wasn’t sure why Teofil was so mad at him, but he had no right to be, and Thaddeus intended to tell him so next time they had a chance to talk.
If Leo’s ghost gives Teofil permission to talk with you.
He fell asleep shortly thereafter but slept fitfully. His dreams were more gauzy impressions of high emotion than scenes or images and left him feeling agitated and sleep-deprived. He spent the last day of his suspension finishing up his homework assignments and making himself avoid looking out his window. The day dragged on, and by the time he and his parents had finished eating a dinner cloaked in silence, Thaddeus was ready to go to bed. But his father wanted to work on his magic again, and Thaddeus did want to learn more, so he went to the basement. They worked on generating balls of light and flicking flames to illuminate dark places.
After illumination spells, they worked on summoning and shoving. Thaddeus was coated in sweat by the time they finished, and after a shower and a quick shave of the fuzz he’d grown in the past week, he got right into bed. A few minutes later, there was a knock on his door.
“Thaddeus,” his father said through the door. “May I come in?”
“Yeah.”
His father crossed the room and sat in the desk chair at the foot of his bed. “You worked hard and did well tonight.”
Thaddeus yawned and nodded. “Thanks.”
“Are you ready to return to school tomorrow?”
“Yeah. My homework’s caught up, and I’m kind of bored here at home.”
“You’ll be able to play your video games and go see Teofil next week.”
Thaddeus gave a quiet snort. “If he’ll want to see me.”
“Hey now, don’t be like that,” his father said. “Of course he’ll want to see you. Why wouldn’t he?”
“Leopold told him I had to go,” Thaddeus said. “So I figure that until Leopold’s spirit has moved on, I won’t be spending time with Teofil. Not sure why that is, but oh well.”
“I’m sure you two will figure it all out.�
�
“Yeah. Maybe.”
“You’re not very convincing.”
“It’s fine. I have a lot going on at school anyway.”
“Hey, don’t just give up on Teofil,” his father said. “You both have a lot of adjustments to get used to.”
“I know.” Thaddeus lay down and closed his eyes. “I’m tired. Can we talk another time?”
His father sat in silence for a time, then finally got to his feet. “Of course. Sleep well. I’ll see you in the morning and give you a ride to school.”
“You don’t have to, I’ll ride my bike.”
“If that’s what you want.”
“Yes, it is.”
“All right, then. Good night.”
It took a while for Thaddeus to fall asleep, and when he finally did, his dreams were filled with darkness and suspicion, fed by the low grumbling voice in the back of his mind. The next morning, he snoozed his alarm three times before he was able to get out of bed and so was running very late when he finally ran down the steps with his backpack on.
“Good morning, Thaddeus,” his mother said. “What would you like for breakfast?”
“No time,” he said as he grabbed an apple and Pop-Tart to stuff into his backpack. “I’ll take it with me.”
He banged out the door and hurried around the back corner of the house to retrieve his bike. A few feet from his bike he came to an abrupt halt and gagged. Something smelled bad. Very, very bad. Like raw sewage bad.
Thaddeus put a hand over his nose and mouth and took a step closer to his bike. He made a face and turned away, fighting to keep down his bile as he realized what covered his bicycle. Keeping his hand in place and breathing through his mouth, Thaddeus walked quickly back around the corner of the house and stopped to lean on the cold hood of his father’s Camry.
“Dixon,” Thaddeus said to himself and balled his hands into fists. “That bastard.”
His father stepped out the side door with a cup of coffee in his hand and his hair a mess from his pillow. “Hey, why haven’t you left yet?”
“I can’t use my bike,” Thaddeus said with a grimace. “Can I get a ride?”
His father walked to the corner of the house. “You have a flat tire or something?”
“Worse,” Thaddeus said.
“Oh.” His father stared, his disgust clear in his expression. “Is that…? Who would do that?”
“I have an idea,” Thaddeus grumbled.
“That bully you told us about? What’s his name?”
“Dixon Praise.”
“Right. You think he did this?”
“Who else would smear a bunch of shit all over my bicycle, huh?”
The words came out sharper and angrier than Thaddeus had intended.
“Hey, we don’t talk like that in this household.” His father stepped up and pointed a finger at him. “And you don’t take that tone with me either. I’m not to blame for this, all right?”
Thaddeus nodded and clenched his jaw.
“All right. Let me get my keys.”
“And a hat,” Thaddeus added before climbing into the passenger seat of the car.
His father didn’t reply, but when he returned a moment later, Thaddeus was glad to see he had hidden his messed-up hair beneath a baseball hat. The drive to school was silent and tense. Thaddeus stared out the windshield and clutched the top strap of his backpack, which sat on the floor between his feet. When his father pulled up at the curb, Thaddeus mumbled, “Thanks,” and pushed the door open. The hinge squealed, and several kids walking past laughed. Thaddeus felt his cheeks burning as he fell in line behind them, fearing that the day would feel twice as long as usual. There were stares and whispers in the hallways and classrooms during his entire morning, which only lowered his mood even more.
Ms. Sellars, his chemistry teacher, gave a lecture that day about the practice of apothecary. As she told them about men and women who created elixirs and potions by mixing plants and other natural elements, Thaddeus thought about Miriam and her magical mixtures. He recalled how she seemed to have a potion, salve, or goopy concoction for pretty much every occasion. Then he thought about Teofil, and a sad anger began to simmer inside of him.
Teofil is moving on without you, that inner voice prodded.
Thaddeus pushed those thoughts aside as best he could and made himself focus on the lesson. When his chemistry class finally ended, he hurried to the gym on the other side of the school as thoughts of Teofil burned within him, and he had to fight back tears. How had things become so complicated so quickly? He missed Teofil, and it had only been a couple of days since they’d talked. The way Teofil had looked at him the night Leopold had visited, along with the behavior of Leopold’s spirit, still made Thaddeus feel bad. What had Leopold meant by pointing at him like that? And why had Thaddeus been the only one unable to hear Leopold speak?
The questions circled his mind as he quickly dressed and rushed out into the gym after one of the slower boys in the class. Mr. Conner had them playing basketball that week and the next, and Thaddeus sat on one of the higher bleachers as the more athletic boys were chosen. He was so lost in his tumultuous thoughts about Teofil and Leopold and the unfairness of his suspension that he didn’t realize he’d been selected to join a team until Mr. Conner shouted his name and told him to wake up.
Once the game started, Thaddeus saw very little time on the court, and he made more mistakes than anyone else when he did play. He was finally replaced by another kid, and he gratefully sat on the bleacher, sweaty and out of breath. If he could only use his magic, he’d be able to stun them all with his basketball skills. That would show Mr. Conner and the boys snickering around him.
Do it, the voice whispered. Show them how powerful you really are.
Thaddeus was very tempted to get up from the bleacher, grab the ball, and send it spinning all the way down the court and into the far basket. Before he could act, however, Mr. Conner ended the game and sent them all off to shower and change. Thaddeus showered quickly and dried off before returning to his locker. As he stood with his towel around his waist, one of the taller, more athletic boys leaned in and said, “Nice zit, newbie.”
Thaddeus flinched away from the boy—he thought his name was Chase—and turned to glare at him.
“What?”
“That nice, big zit you’re growing on the back of your neck,” Chase said, and boys up and down the aisle of lockers crowded closer to look. “It’s going to be ready for harvest soon.”
Thaddeus was forcibly turned to face the lockers, and the boys all shouted and groaned in disgust.
“Gross!”
“It’s a second head!”
“Is that the head of your twin?”
Thaddeus pulled away from their clutching hands and grabbed the last of his things from his locker. He pulled on his shirt as he ran to the exit, hot tears pricking the corners of his eyes.
At the hallway intersection, Thaddeus ducked into a bathroom. It was surprisingly empty, and he turned sideways to the mirror to try and see the back of his neck. Now that Chase had called his attention to it, Thaddeus could feel twinges of pain in that area. He wished he’d worn a button-down shirt with a collar, but today he had a pullover V-neck sweater with a T-shirt underneath, so the zit would be front and center in the line of sight of anyone standing or sitting behind him.
“Great,” he muttered. “That’s just great.”
He wondered if Miriam had something that would help the zit vanish fast. Then he remembered that he wasn’t allowed to speak to any of the Rhododendrons until the following week, and his spirits plunged even lower. That realization was quickly followed by the memory of Teofil’s reaction to seeing him in the yard, and he stubbornly wiped away tears. He wasn’t going to be caught crying here in school. That would seal his position as an outcast and a “faggot” faster than anything else, probably even magic.
The door shoved open, and two boys walked in, laughing about something. Thaddeus turned on a
faucet and looked down at his hands as he fought to get his emotions in check.
“Hey, Thaddeus!”
It was Andy Harkin and Marty Reed. Thaddeus smiled and relaxed a bit. “Hi, guys.”
“What are you doing in here?” Andy asked.
“Washing up before lunch,” Thaddeus said. “What about you guys?”
“We were looking for you,” Marty said. “Do you want to walk to Taco Time for lunch?”
“Actually, Marty’s pee shy and won’t use any of the other bathrooms because there are too many guys around,” Andy said with a laugh, then ducked the playful punch Marty threw at him.
Thaddeus laughed, and the resulting wave of good emotions lifted him out of his wallowing. “Where’s Taco Time?”
“Three blocks up the street,” Marty said. “Lots of kids go there for lunch.”
“Do we have time before classes start?” Thaddeus asked.
Andy smirked. “Who cares? Come on, don’t be a spoilsport. Live a little.”
You should go, the voice prompted. You need more friends than a bunch of gnomes.
Thaddeus smirked back. “Yeah, okay. That sounds good.”
Chapter THIRTEEN
LUNCH TOOK longer than expected, and because of it Thaddeus and Andy were ten minutes late to their world history class. When they opened the door, Mr. Elder stood at the front of the class writing on the chalkboard. He stopped speaking and looked at them as the rest of the class stared. Some of the students giggled, and Thaddeus could see Crystal’s wide eyes outlined with dark eyeliner at the back of the class near their empty desks.
“Well, look who decided to come to class,” Mr. Elder said. He turned back to what he was writing on the board and said casually, “See me after class. Both of you.”
Thaddeus sighed and moved quickly to his desk. He looked over at Andy, who sat beside him, and Andy rolled his eyes as they both pulled out notebooks and pens.
Once class ended and the other students had filed out of the room, Thaddeus and Andy approached Mr. Elder’s desk. They stood and silently watched him jot a few notes about the class before he looked up at them.